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Thread: Whining

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    6,282

    Default Whining

    I am desperate for some help with my DD and her whining. She is 2 1/2 and extremely verbal and has been for some time. She speaks in full sentences and does not have trouble expressing herself. Lately it seems like she is constantly whining. She's usually not saying words, she just uses it in place of crying but it is so frequent I'm about to lose my mind.

    I've tried ignoring it, telling her I will only answer her or give her what she wants if she uses her "nice" voice, punishing her with time-outs, threatening to take things away or not do fun things if the whining continues, hugging her and trying to commiserate and flat out yelling at her to stop. Nothing works for very long if at all. It doesn't help that we are both very stubborn.

    I know part of it is her age, but I'm looking for any tips. My DS was basically nonverbal at this age but he was never a whined and he cared very much about being punished with time outs.


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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Upstate, NY
    Posts
    16,413

    Default

    I had a problem with my ds1 crying at everything so along the same lines. What worked for me is if he started crying, I'd get a really confused look on my face and ask everyone if they could hear "that". Then if he kept crying i'start looking in cupboards, under the table, etc. He would usually stop when I started doing that, so I would shrug my shoulders and give up my search, then begin again when he started crying again, wash, rinse & repeat. Eventually it got to the point when he stopped crying over everything because I never addressed the issue of what he was upset about (usually dinner in our case) but the searching would distract him.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Southern CA
    Posts
    7,161

    Default

    Sorry Diam. My DS is extremely difficult and whines/cries/tantrums over everything all day long. It's exhausting.

    Honestly, I haven't found anything that works with his stubborn personality, and he's almost 4.

    I really think it depends on their personality despite the books saying if you just do this or that. With DD I could say "I don't understand you" or "you aren't getting xyz if you don't stop whining" and she'd shape up. With DS, that only makes it worse.

    We also try everything. The only thing that helps our sanity and sometimes seems to slightly click with him at least temporarily, is when immediately after he starts, we calmly say, "please go in your room and shut the door until you're done screaming/whining/crying." If I do this all day, he seems to eventually get it although it means he's in his room a lot. And the we start over again the next day because he can't seem to remember anything from the day before. that's why I say it's temporary.

    I just keep hoping that eventually he'll grow out of it!!


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