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  1. #1351
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Bremerton, WA
    Posts
    2,816

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    Semily, I'm glad that you, your brother, your DH, your in laws and other relatives were able to get through your parents house. It is very emotional draining to do. I hope that you can relax and recuperate next week.

    Hugs!

  2. #1352
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,537

    Default

    Semily, I was wondering how it went there. I didn't realize you were going for a whole week. You must be absolutely spent. Big hugs to you.
    C 3/21/07
    It's a girl! D 8/3/11

  3. #1353
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    6,407

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    So glad you got what you needed accomplished and that you felt supported Semily!
    babygirl 10-29-07
    baby sister 7-17-11

  4. #1354
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Upstate, NY
    Posts
    16,413

    Default

    semily I'm glad that you were able to get through everything - such a difficult task! It's so nice that everyone was able to get together and pitch in!

    My mom just told me yesterday that my grandma now has DNR papers and they are on her fridge. It is the first place paramedics will look in the event they are called.

    I've been taking a pretty big break from my mom's and have only been down once in over a month now I think and that was more of a visit then anything else. I called her Friday to ask her about property dh & I would like to buy from her and realized that she is pretty lost with a bunch of stuff regarding that (she's juggling about 3offers for different pieces with more to go) so DH and I are going this morning to help advise her on a bunch of stuff and I will stay later to go to calling hours of a family friend. I told DH that I'm going to need to get back down to help her soon though, because she still has a storage pod we need to finish emptying and she's having a hard time organizing her house.

  5. #1355
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Metrowest Boston
    Posts
    8,601

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    Semily - I am glad that you got so much done and had so much support.

    Mcg - glad you have been taking a break - I took a few over the 18 months and it was what we all needed to recharge our batteries and keep going.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    J&D - May 2005 *** E - 8/7/06 *** J - 3/17/09

  6. #1356
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    (north of) Boston
    Posts
    6,999

    Default Ailing parents support

    Semily - sounds like both an exhausting and amazing week all at once. That's great you got it all done.

    Mcgwigan - hope you and DH can help your mom get everything sorted.
    Melissa & Dave ~ 5/31/03 * Becca ~ 1/14/05 * Bridget ~ 4/9/08 * Allison ~ 1/19/12
    The Mommy (& Everything Else) Journal

  7. #1357
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    7,149

    Default

    semily - so glad you got that all done. I can only imagine how draining it was. I was thinking of you this week when I was at my parents'. Since my mom lived separately for 5 years, they now have 2 households worth of stuff in the house. Anyway, glad your brother made it and your family was a big help.

    mcg - again, sounds daunting. It seems like she has a lot on her plate. Can she handle it okay or is there another person that can come in to help?

    I talked to my mom yesterday. She's doing ok. I think she has settled in a bit but is bothered by not having a time frame and feels that no one explained it to her. The doctor did say a few weeks to a few months when I was in the room but that is a hard thing to repeat. I told her she shouldn't worry about that and be focused on today. I might ask the nurse to tell her when she goes over next, if my mom is still wondering. I also finished Being Mortal last night and have a better understanding of the hospice process and what it can deliver. I feel more informed and like I can talk about it to them next time I am down. At least the idea that hospice is for improving quality of life and when that's improved longevity can increase as well. Again, I highly recommend the book, except I am haunted by some of the anecdotal stories he uses.

  8. #1358
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Bremerton, WA
    Posts
    2,816

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    Bloom, when my Aunt's doctor talked to her about stopping chemo/treatment and that he was putting her on hospice care, she asked him how long did she have. She heard 2 months but he also said it is in God's Hands. She, I think, is totally focused on that time frame and thinks that is almost written in stone. I wish that I could get her to just focus on today.

    I think that I'll look for that book you read.

    Mcg, you have done so much for your Mom that I can't imagine there being more still to do! Good luck!

  9. #1359
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Upstate, NY
    Posts
    16,413

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    My mom just can't seem to be able to grasp some concepts fully, or doesn't think things through - I am not sure how to explain. She's selling property & subdivided a good portion of it. The entire property is mortgaged. I called her and told her we wanted to know what to do with moving forward on apiece we want to buy. She said she called the bank and they told her that in order to release that piece she needs to get the house and the rest appraised. She also asked about paying off the mortgage and was told there would be a $3200 early payoff penalty til May 2018. The interest til then would be $1600, so she was thinking that she would keep the mortgage til next year. Well there's a sale pending on another piece, so I pointed out to her that she would need to do the same for that plus another piece that's in the works to sell. So basically today we went to help her understand her finances. In a nutshell she'll be paying the $3200 regardless of whether she pays the mortgage off now or next year, plus, she was not told what the early payoff penalty would be next year - she was assuming nothing, but I don't think that would really be the case. She has the money to pay off now, so we made her realize that by doing that, it will just simplify things for her.

    Next week I'll go help her organize the house, she still has boxes to go through, needs pictures hung etc.

  10. #1360
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Bremerton, WA
    Posts
    2,816

    Default

    mcg, your Mom sure has had to deal with A LOT since your Dad died. I would be confused too. It's a good thing that you and your DH are there to help clarify everything for her and to help get her things organized. You are a really good daughter.

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