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  1. #111
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    6,282

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    My childhood BFF's dad died in a horrible plane crash and I drove 5 hours to my hometown for the funeral. The circumstances were just so shocking that I felt I really needed to be there in person. However, that was before I had kids so it was much easier to make a trip like that on a whim. I'm glad I went as I was the only friend of hers there.


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  2. #112
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    2,661

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    I think I would go if it was possible. Otherwise, I would send something (maybe whatever is suggested) and keep in close contact with my friend. I'm sorry.


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  3. #113
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    3,287

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    I would go if possible. I feel like just showing up for these rituals matters, even though you'd be able to spend more time with her if you visited separately. Funerals usually happen pretty quickly- I'd guess it would be mid/late week this week unless they have to accommodate family traveling in.

  4. #114
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Whoville
    Posts
    7,985

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    I go if it's possible, and if not I send flowers. The dad of a dear friend of mine passed away but I couldn't get there (6 hours away), so I went a large flower arrangement and sent her messages.

  5. #115
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Bremerton, WA
    Posts
    2,816

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    I would go if it was possible, too. If you can't make it then send flowers or whatever the family requests. And then see your friend when you both are free.

  6. #116
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    4,945

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    For one of my BFFs, I would definitely go. Having your friends there to support you when you lose a parent is invaluable. I'll admit my views are biased because I've lost a parent. Prior to that, I was more open to only sending a card and a plant.

  7. #117
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    4,615

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    I'll admit my views are biased because I've lost a parent. Prior to that, I was more open to only sending a card and a plant.
    This.

    When you say your "HS" BFF, does that mean that you guys are currently super close/BFFs? The reason I ask is that I would expect my current BFFs to be at the funeral if one of my parents passed away. In my case when my dad died, my two current/college BFFs were there- I seriously could not have made it through that day without them. They were my everything during that time.

    Now, my HS BFF, whom I still keep in touch with but we are not BFFs/super close anymore, could not make it. Was I hurt? Just slightly, but I had so much else on my mind, that I quickly got over it and moved on. But again, if my current BFFs were not there, then, that would be a different story.

    I will say that when people do show up to the funeral, it means so, so much. When my dad died, I had a guy who I worked with show up- I hadn't seen him in 3 years prior to that but he had heard through the grapevine that my dad died and he drove all the way from where he lives (2 hrs) to be at the funeral. I was shocked and it was seriously one of the nicest things ever- I will never forget that.
    S+B Est. 11.09.02
    DS1 06.28.06, DD 07.23.08
    DS2 03.07.12

  8. #118
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    6,784

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    I guess it depends on the person. I lost my mom and I didn't want anyone there. I didn't even tell anyone until after. I just wasn't in the mindset where I would have wanted to "deal" with anyone. I did appreciate all the cards and messages though.

  9. #119
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    clearly NOT at the cool kids table
    Posts
    9,766

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    If I could attend; I would. As someone who has lost both parents, it really is touching when your friends make the extra effort AND sometimes it is just nice to see a friend for support in the midst of all the family.

  10. #120
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    2,713

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    I would go if I could. When my mom died unexpectedly three of my four best friends from college drove 6 hours to be with me. I was so shocked, and it seemed like too much, but it really was a wonderful and unexpected support to have them there. But again, none of them had children at the time, so life was simpler! The fourth from our group lived across the country and couldn't make it. She sent a lovely food basket and called.

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