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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    Default Fighting the nap. Help me!!!

    I put this in the irritation thread and then changed my mind.

    My other irritation is DS (22 months today). The kid WILL NOT FREAKING NAP. He has always been a great napper and has always put himself to sleep. Well a few months ago he started falling asleep while nursing before nap (more than a few, actually; it probably started when we cut out the morning nap and he was super tired by naptime). Anyway, I know I should have stopped it, but I didn't. Now the little shit usually falls asleep while nursing (which leads me to believe he IS tired and needs a nap) but wakes up and cries when I try to put him in the crib. He SCREAMS for over an hour. Daily. He has not had a nap all week. I am going crazy. Now this doesn't always happen; for the past two months it's been a crap shoot whether he'll stay sleeping when I put him down or wake up and scream. But this week, he's only screamed.

    Do any of you remember how you got through the "fighting the nap" stage? I've never fought back; I typically just gave up on naps when the struggle was more of a hassle than actually having them awake, but I'm just not ready for that with him. The other two are at school, and I've been a SAHM for close to five years now. For the first time in my SAHM life I have a couple hours to myself four days a week, and I don't want to give that up!!

    DD1 stopped napping at 2.5, and DD2 stopped at 2, but she'd been fighting nap since 17 months (I finally gave up at 2). I was really hoping he was going to be my napper, but it appears that he's following in DD2's footsteps. I've let him scream, because I typically work out during his nap and just recommitted myself to that, so I don't want to give it up now. What the heck do I do??? I'm contemplating stopping nursing him at naptime if he's just going to scream in there anyway. Seriously, it's horrible. Or maybe we'll switch him to a big boy bed. That way I could lay down and nurse him, then sneak out when he falls asleep. Or maybe that will backfire and he'll start sleeping like crap at night again (he started STTN about a month ago). Or maybe he'll not fall asleep nursing and keep getting out of the bed.

    Ugh! Help! I'm open to any suggestions!

  2. #2
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    Feb 2007
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    Upstate, NY
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    Default

    I can't remember specifics, but I think I would try to get him to lay down even if it was with the TV on to "rest" for a bit.

    Can you see if he'd "nap" in a fort? I use rubberbands to hold a sheet onto 4 dining chairs to make a fort for mine to get them to lay down from time to time (when I really need a break!!).

    I would probably stop nursing him if it's at all possible, or maybe stop as soon as he seems to be falling asleep. I probably wouldn't try to put him in the crib to sleep right then, but maybe let him recover from the shock of stopping nursing before he falls asleep and then try to get him to lay down without nursing?

    It's so hard, because they are all so different! I know that out of desperation I would put my youngest in the car and drive him around to get him to sleep...and yes, I did that when he was 2, 3 and 4 years old!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    Chicago
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    No, we fought right back with both kids, and I have a 5-yo that still naps during the day and sleeps fine at night. I know all kids are different, but I also think that there's a matter of you being more stubborn than the little ones We are both at home during the day most days and would go crazy if there weren't naptime.

    There was definitely a point where nursing my 2yo down for naps became more trouble than it was worth though. He wanted to nurse left, right, left, right, dry nurse while sleeping. Uhhh, no. That's my workout time too!

    So I think I did a gradual approach of nursing him, and telling him it was time to cuddle, and we would cuddle while he fell asleep in my bed. I never transferred him to the crib for naps. We just keep an ear out.
    She'd be his wife and make him her husband 5/03Ds1 12/22/09...Ds2 8/31/12

  4. #4
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    Jun 2005
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    Southern California
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    Reading along as I'm right smack in the middle of DS2's nap strike. Ugh.

    My other two kids napped until 4yo and even a little beyond. DS2 is nearly 3yo, and I am so not ready for him to give up on naps! I NEED that downtime (and it's usually only for 1-1.5 hrs), to make it through the rest of the day/night. He hasn't napped all week and I find myself extremely on edge without having my "kid free" time.

    I'm about to go and put him down for a nap right now. Fingers crossed.......
    S+B Est. 11.09.02
    DS1 06.28.06, DD 07.23.08
    DS2 03.07.12

  5. #5
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    Jul 2006
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    Southern CA
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    I would also stop nursing- that seems to screw sleep up for a lot for my friends that nursed for long-ish periods of time. On the other hand, I never nursed so what do I know!

    I have two pretty decent nappers, but I know the feeling when you just need the downtime. I tried to fight it with DD (I would say she started fighting it around 4?) and finally gave up because it just wasn't worth the fight. I even tried the "just lay in your bed and read for quiet time" but that doesn't work. She'd come out of her room a million times, cry, whatever.

    So what we do now is not force her to nap at all 80% of the time. Sometimes we'll make her lay down with us and "rest" (which is basically her being completely awake and squirming all around), and then on days that we know she'll be staying up late or have a big party in the afternoon, we tell her that she cannot attend the event/party if she doesn't sleep. She falls asleep EVERY single time we do that, which says to me that she does still need a nap, but again, I just don't have the fight in me. The bribery probably won't work with a 22 month old though.

    I also don't know if trying to explain "quiet time" in his room will work because he is so young. Can you at least lay him on the couch or your bed (whatever room you won't be in), and let him watch tv so you can workout or get some kind of downtime? That would be much more enjoyable to me than having a screaming baby in another room.

  6. #6
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    Aug 2005
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    DS dropped his naps when he was about 18 months. I ended up instituting a rest time. He needed to mentally zone as did I. He had to play quietly or look at books. After a few weeks of training, it actually worked fairly well, IIRC.

  7. #7
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    My DD did that over the summer (fell asleep drinking bottle and then woke when I put her down). I ended up putting a bottle in the crib with her wide awake and I'd leave the room. It took several days but eventually she stopped crying (I let her go 45 min) and would drink a little and fall asleep. After a couple months she wasn't interested in drinking her bottle and now I just lay her down and leave. Good luck. I know how much it sucks


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  8. #8
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    Aug 2005
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    Sorry for posting a question then disappearing for a few days. I still hate the Tapatalk Android update, and we're at that stage where DS doesn't let me open the computer without thinking he needs to play with it.

    Thanks for all the thoughts and ideas. We're leaving for Florida (WDW) on 1/22, and we'll be gone for a week. Because that will be a horrible nap week, I don't think I'm going to attempt anything until we get home. But I am going to fight him on this!

    One thing I know is that a "rest time" won't work at this point. I can't reason with him yet. I've noticed that is JUST starting a bit. For instance, tonight he wanted ice cream at Culver's, and I told him he needed to take another bite of his burger before getting ice cream, and he actually listened. But that's the first time I've ever been able to reason with him.

    So I took him to the doctor on Friday because he was up screaming all night Thursday and had a sporadic high fever for a few days, and he had a raging double ear infection. So that could explain why this week was SO bad with this nap. On top of that, he got his glasses on Monday, and while he's doing amazing with them, that was definitely an adjustment for him. He's been through a lot of doctor appointments for several different things in the past few months, and last week the ENT gave me the option of tubes. Since things had seemed to be getting better, I opted against them, but he said to call if things took a bad turn or if I changed my mind, which I did. I'll be calling him Monday. I wanted to avoid tubes (mostly the general anesthesia) if possible, but this is his seventh ear infection since July, so I'm not waiting any longer.

    But I do need to do something, and I think not nursing him at naptime anymore will be it. If not that, we'll go to a big boy bed or try naps in my bed, like HK suggested. I don't care where he naps, as long as he naps! Like I said, after Disney, it's on.
    Last edited by MrsBeckyLP; 01-10-2015 at 10:22 PM.

  9. #9
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    So it's after Disney, and it's not "on," like I said. I suck. I am SO stuck, and I really do not know what to do. DS is having tubes put in his ears tomorrow morning, so I decided I wasn't going to work on this until after that, because I don't know how he'll react after the anesthesia, so I didn't want to throw off any progress we potentially could have made.

    But I need a plan, because he is a mess. The big thing I'm torn on is whether I leave him in the crib or get him a big boy bed and hope that change will help. Seriously, it can't get worse. My girls were this age or younger when they switched to their full beds.

    I really think I need to stop nursing him. I've been pregnant or nursing nonstop since August 2007 (with the exception of the three months after I had to wean DD2 before I got pregnant with DS). My body is ready to be done. My boobs are sick of being sucked on all the time! But he's SO attached, and I'm a sucker (meaning I give in to him; no pun intended). And I know I'll miss it if I stop. Waaaaahhhh!
    Last edited by MrsBeckyLP; 02-04-2015 at 09:25 PM.

  10. #10
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    mrsbecky I'm sorry, I've got no advice...my sister is going through the same struggles right now with trying to wean her youngest and he's also fighting naps. She told me the other night she is just trying to distract him with something else whenever he wants to nurse, but I know that gets more challenging the older they get. With mine I'd start tickling him, but I think he was a lot younger than yours.

    As far as the bed, maybe try a toddler bed. What about making a fort for him to take a nap in, would that work?

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