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  1. #21
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    Mar 2006
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    Gia, do not feel bad and don't compare yourself to others (I know it's hard). There are many different factors playing a role in each family. I can tell you just from my own experience having both boys and a girl, and 2 boys who are close in age (not twins, but act like it and we get asked daily if they are!) and having gone through a time with them when it was like having two "babies" and I had to do what I had to do to get things done (which sometimes meant doing things for them), and then also having a third whose siblings are 2.5 and 4 years older than her and seeing how THAT affects things (the boys not only teach her things, but are motivation for her to do things just like them, AND they are old enough to not have to be watched 100% of the time so that I *can* work with DD on something) that I see how much gender, temperament, having an "older" sibling to model, etc. really factors in.

    I have at times felt behind with things like swim lessons, bike riding, etc, because it is MUCH harder to get these things in when you have multiple children or two at almost the same stage (or in your case the same exact stage). And then I had a third baby! A lot of it just comes down to logistics, at least for us. DH and I do a lot of dividing and conquering. It is a lot easier to let them start to do certain things on their own (or learn skills like bike riding) if you aren't having to keep one eye on one kid and one eye on another all by yourself.

    Things are always getting easier in one way and harder in another way I think!

    AFM, so my sweet girl swallowed a marble this week. We would have NEVER had marbles in the house when DS1 was 3 but, alas, we have marbles. Turns out the small regular size ones can go right down and (in our case at least) take about 2 days to come out. And now I know. My job as mom was extra glamorous these last two days when I was on poop watch.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Gia--Will is a terrible groomer. He's not that great at getting himself dressed either. And, clearly he can't spit! You are a good mom and doing just fine. Oh, and there's no way he could floss. Frankly, I have never flossed his teeth. Oops. I don't think he could ride a bike--he has one at my parents house that we have never tried.

    Taurus--Oh no on the marble--at least it came out!

    Hope everyone has a good weekend!

  3. #23
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    Jun 2005
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    I am a teacher so I don't compare my child to others or what is "typical"!! I don't believe in "typical"! Each child is unique in his/her own way. I always tell my kids at school to be happy with who they are and what they accomplish!! It is a shame how many of us are pressured or made to feel bad when our kids don't do what others do! Jimmy didn't potty train until he was 3. He went for his 3 year check up and the ped asked if he was potty trained. My hubby said no and the ped said, "big boys use the potty" to my son. That was it!! Never used diapers again and sleeps all night with no accidents!! It wasn't us--haha!! Just funny the comments I got from other moms!!

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    St. Paul, MN
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    bethnjim So funny about how Jimmy potty trained! It really shows that how much our kids do is based on how much they want to do!

    Graham is terrible about getting his coat and shoes on. Made for a frustrating winter! I know has been capable of putting on his shoes for years, but he almost never is willing! Even getting them to take his stuff off has been an uphill battle! And yet get in the way of something he wants to be independent about and watch out! My daughter was the same way, if not worse. But when she started preschool they went outside every day and two teachers can only do so much to help them get ready, and they have ways of teaching them and encouraging them that works better than whatever mom can do, so I'm sure he'll be doing all that himself very soon after starting preschool. My daughter took a bit longer because her motor skills weren't quite there. My kids don't floss and I rarely think to even try.

    It's been a very busy week for us. My kids are both in a youth circus and their shows were this week. It's the largest in the country so they divide them into three shows of three performances each, and unluckily my kids were in different shows. We stayed until the end Friday night and it ended at 10! I'm a total stickler for bedtime so this was the latest they have ever stayed up by far, but they (and DH and I!) were just in awe the whole time at the amazing things those kids can do. I'm so happy we got involved in the program, it's so non-competitive, fun, and confidence building. DD was so nervous about the performance she was fretting for weeks, but after the dress rehearsal she stopped worrying and got excited, and after her first show she told us how proud she was of herself. Her physical skills have always been on the lower end, so this stuff does not come easily to her, but they're so patient with her and it just didn't matter. And when DS's toddler class first got started us parents shook our heads in disbelief that they'd ever be able to corral all those 2-3 year olds and get them to do what they're supposed to do, but it all came together at the end and they did it!

    Graham was a sailor for the show, here he is trying to salute:


    Here's a link to the video of Graham's performance if anyone is interested: http://photos.thepuddle.com/Other/Sp...ZPFHF&lb=1&s=A
    Last edited by magrat; 05-05-2013 at 09:35 AM.
    Eve Eleanor arrived June 5, 2007
    Graham Alexander arrived February 27, 2010
    George Derek arrived October 17, 2014

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    magrat--that is fantastic! I loved it, and it look like the kids did too. What fun.

    ETA: I forgot my post!

    DS and I went on a playdate today with a boy from his daycare class, and his little sister, who is about 20 months. I thought of the CC ladies because I wore "The Sweater" (sweatshirt version) because it was freakishly cold here, high only 53 today and miserable and rainy. Ugh. However, I must say that I am totally in AWE of mom's of two kids. It was ALL this mom and I could do to manage the 3 kids at the park. Her son ran off toward the road when I was trying to help W on the climbing wall and I was watching them both. He was right there, and then blink, he was gone. He was about 30 feet from the road and was playing on a drain/culvert thing, but holy crap I felt awful. I apologized to the mom, and she was fine but I was frightened b/c if he had continued running toward the road and not stopped at the drain, then I am not convinced that I could have gotten to him first by the time I noticed that he was not there. I did not realize that the entire area was not fenced in. The whole thing was just Scary.
    Last edited by bug; 05-05-2013 at 05:33 PM.

  6. #26
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    Jun 2005
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    magrat, that circus class sounds amazing! How awesome for your kids to get to do that. I am on spotty wireless this week and couldn't get the video to download, but can't wait to see it.

    bug, that is scary but it happens! Riley ran off on me at the zoo last week and I was freaking out! I thought she was playing on an exhibit (with a blind exit the other side!) and she had gone out to catch up to Payton and our nanny but oh is it scary!

    Just a quick comment on the flossing, when Payton was 4, she had 9 cavities! Enamel deficient + very small mouth + no flossing = oral surgery to the tune of $3000 out of pocket. You better believe my kids floss almost every night!

  7. #27
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    Jun 2005
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    Magrat- That circus class is so cute! My boys would LOVE LOVE LOVE that!! And that picture of Graham is adorable!

    Bug- Welcome to my world, lol! If the mom has a 3 year old and a 20 month old, I am sure she completely understands and has had it happen to herself on occasion. It's actually getting a lot easier for me now because they are bolting off less and less, and having more understanding not to go near the road. From ~17 months- 2.5 was the worst! I used to joke that I was going to start a playground/museum/bounce play review blog based on the perspective of trying to watch two active/mobile toddlers by yourself.

    Taurus- Thank you. I was thinking more about what you wrote and I think that is the root of a lot of the issues I have with my boys. Yes, they might be "behind" on impulse control, for example, but it is also hard to find safe opportunities to work on it when I always have two of them and just one of me. Learning to hold hands in parking lots, etc is something that is just not safe when you have two 18 month olds and one adult, so you just always use the stroller. So they don't get the same learning opportunities to improve in that area. It's ok, they are catching up now and doing better. I guess it will be the same with self-grooming, dressing etc. Oh- and glad the marble thing turned out ok! Yikes!

    Boiler- Wow- that does not sound fun! Yeah, I can see where you are coming from!

    As far as comparing to other kids: I know all kids are different, but I guess I just use it as a gauge. If I notice all of their peers are doing "x" and they aren't, I want to look into whether they could possibly have a delay in a certain area (and get help for it early on) or maybe we should be working on something that we aren't. Or maybe I am slightly paranoid b/c they were preemies and they did have some delays for the first 2 years and were in Early Intervention!
    Twins! Benjamin and William arrived 3.17.10

    Food Blog: Savory Secrets

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
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    Massachusetts
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    Hmm, I typed out a huge reply to this thread last night (or was it the night before?) and now I'm not seeing it. How annoying!

    Anyway, first of all I wanted to come in and announce that Nathan is mostly potty trained. I'm so relieved that it seems to have gone as well as it did and didn't turn into the 2+ year fiasco it was with his sister. He is not good about pooping on the toilet, but he is fully pee trained (he's even napping in undies!! and wakes up dry in the morning... but I am still putting him in a diaper just in case, but maybe I should stop??) so I'm sure he'll improve on the poop front eventually. We're already so far ahead of the game as far as my expectations went, that I don't even care.

    Self reliance- This is something I don't worry about too much... maybe because he's my baby?? I do know that he got a lot better about doing stuff for himself after he started school. They really work with them on all that stuff and it definitely carried over to home as well. Sometimes I feel like those sorts of things go over better when a teacher in telling a kid to do it, rather than mom or dad And Gia- I always use the stroller too, and I just have Nate with me most of the time! Actually, he asked to walk holding onto the side of the stroller when we were at the mall yesterday. That was the very first time he'd ever walked in the mall It went well though!

    Boiler- That's wild about the dental surgery!! Poor Payton!

    Bug- 3yr and 20m seems like it would be a really hard age combo to keep track of in and open setting like a playground. Yikes! My oldest was just about 4.5 by the time Nate was walking so I'm thankful I never had to deal with that. Also I wanted to mention that I often find it's easier to keep track of my kids when it's just me with them. First of all, if we are with friends, they are totally amped up and excited to be with their buddies and act like lunatics. Also, if it's DH and me, their behavior isn't as good (Daddy is a total pushover) and both of us tend to think that the other parent is watching... as a result, no one watches that well.

    Magrat- The circus class sounds so cool!
    Betsy and Dave, married 10/18/03
    Amelia Claire 3/4/07
    Nathan Edward 3/10/10

  9. #29
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    Jun 2005
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    Betsy, so glad the potty training went better this time around. I remember all you went through with Millie, you deserved an easy one after that!!!

    Things have been crazy here. I am so ready for summer!!! Things aren't working out so great with our nanny so I'm trying to figure out what to do for the fall. As much as I love having a nanny, I think I'm just going to go back to a day care so I can be done with being an employer and the headache that comes with it. With Payton in school full time next year, it'll be quite a bit cheaper anyhow. I just have to figure out how to manage my work travel. If I only do 3-4 trips a year, my dad offered to come and help. Or I could probably find a college kid who could do after school care or something. Our summer is pretty short, but I'm putting it off until after our 4th of July travels.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Hey--how's everyone doing? Getting off to a good summer I hope.
    Not much is going on here, we went to see my parents this past weekend and DS wanted to go swimming. The pool was warm but the air temps were only barely 70 on 2 days, so it was freezing when we got out of the pool. DS had a ball jumping in and trying to yell "Geronimo", which he mispronounced every time in an adorable way. DH and I about froze but DS was oblivious.

    So Gia and I met up a few weeks ago, and her boys are even more adorable in person than in pictures (if you can believe that). We had fun (despite the heat)--Gia, I haven't uploaded any pics yet but DS is still asking "Where's my new friends?" and he will say that in the pictures that he sees on my camera and he is asking to go back.

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