Quantcast
Page 1 of 23 12311 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 229
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    1,785

    Default Anyone want to talk to me about my pg cousin and my aunt losing her freakin' mind?

    ...
    Last edited by KimberDK; 06-23-2015 at 03:14 PM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    1,785

    Default

    ...
    Last edited by KimberDK; 06-23-2015 at 03:14 PM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Small warm corner of hell
    Posts
    9,697

    Default

    Holy hot mess, Batman! Wow, talk about lack of foresight. She must have been getting it from all sides to have become this defensive. Or she just realized what a bloody mess she's made of her & your uncle's retirement. And your cousin is 33 weeks? She must know she's risking missing the birth by being down here right now (I live in FL too, no idea what part you're in). That's pretty telling to me.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    1,785

    Default

    ...
    Last edited by KimberDK; 06-23-2015 at 03:13 PM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    2,456

    Default

    What does your uncle have to say in all of this? Has he commented on Aunt's unusual behavior and attitude? Sounds like this is only going to get worse. I agree that she is likely getting "nagged" from all other sides or her other kids and is regretting her decision but feels guilty admitting that. What a hot mess.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Small warm corner of hell
    Posts
    9,697

    Default

    Yeah, I'm thinking she probably has gotten heat from her other kids. If her maternity leave is subsidized (or almost, as I understand it from my Canadian co worker) why would she only need to live with her parents for the first year? It sounds like your aunt is not only in over her head, but putting her head in the sand about the actual reality. It's going to be really really hard to get J out of the house now that she's there. I think I'd be cranky, defensive and damn near incoherent, too.

    I'm in Lakeland.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    3,719

    Default

    Wow, what a sucky situation. I think she is having some kind of a breakdown because the reality is setting in that they are not only going to be financially contributing, but basically helping to raise these babies (and at nearly 70, she's probably not at the stage in her life where she envisioned raising children).
    Twins! Benjamin and William arrived 3.17.10

    Food Blog: Savory Secrets

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    4,749

    Default

    Well, as I'm sure everyone here knows, it's costs a lot more to raise a baby than you imagine at first, and she's got that times two. We have a partly paid maternity eave here, but even if you qualify for the maximum amount, it's about $1,000 twice a month, and you don't get more because there are two babies. Also, it's only 12 months. Which is fabulous, but the year goes by quickly. And yes, we have a good heath care system as far as costs is concerned, but there's a reason our employers still offer benefits. That helps cover dental, prescriptions, optical, etc. Ottawa is a very different place from where I am, but I'm surprised she went ahead with IVF if money was even a bit of a concern. It's not covered here at all, though when we were contemplating it, our employer at the time at least covered the meds.

    Anyway.... my point is, it's still expensive raising kids here, lol. Sounds like this new arrangement sort of gradually turned into something that really doesn't make a lot of sense. I get wanting to be a mother, very much. But that was sort of a motivating thing for me: find a great career, a great husband, create a life that's welcoming for children, then have them. It's an ideal I think most people aspire to in some way, and it doesn't always happen in the order we plan, or at the time that we plan.... but it seems like your cousin forgot to plan.

    So what should you do to help? I'm really not sure. I have a cousin who's not quite 31, and I could see her finding herself in your cousin's place (right down to the clingy part), but without the parental involvement. Again with "the plan" that doesn't work out.

    Have you tried calling your uncle? Or your cousin? Or would you rather run and bury your head in the sand? lol. It's a sticky little situation. If your cousin wasn't pregnant and likely very hormonal, I'd want to try to reason with her at least about the cat. Her parents are changing their entire lives to suit her current situation and it doesn't seem like she's willing to bend much. Sort of like she's hurt that she's not getting more of the house.... while her parents are hurt that she's taking as much as she is. Sigh.

    An intriguing situation though.....
    Married 7.3.04 Henry 10.29.08 Charlie 11.19.11

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    6,784

    Default

    Wow your cousin is a piece of work. I guess I never had that urge to be a mom at any cost so I don't know to what extent people would go to make motherhood happen but I can't imagine wanting to be a mom if that necessitated moving back in with my parents. Yikes. One of my friends had similar bad luck with relationships but wanted to be a mom. She decided when she approached 40 to just go for it with the guy she was dating. Of course he didn't stick around but that doesn't bother my friend in the least. She is perfectly happy being a single mom. But she is financially independent and able to afford good childcare. She is living her dream life now and doesn't miss being in a relationship. I could imagine being a single mom under those circumstances. But having twins, no baby daddy, no job that will get me among grown ups regularly, and living with my parents? Wow that's a nightmare.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    1,785

    Default

    ...
    Last edited by KimberDK; 06-23-2015 at 03:13 PM.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-14-2011, 10:26 AM
  2. My child doesn't want to play with kids her own age
    By tunibell in forum Big Kids - 3+
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-12-2011, 03:20 PM
  3. What to do about my friend and her DS....
    By janu98 in forum Toddlers - 12-36 months
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 10-23-2009, 01:15 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •