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  1. #21
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scooter View Post
    It's more about them choosing to play alone versus choosing to always play with their siblings.
    I am curious to see how it is going to be when we move into our larger home, but for now they boys (5 and 3.5) mostly choose to play together (in our small playroom off the kitchen, always on the same one surface where they both want to stand at the exact spot to play with cars. Grr!) Sometimes I'll set DS1 up in my or his room with the small Legos that only he can use, but inevitably DS2 finds him and wants to play with him. ETA: DH swears there will be no such surface in our next house, he is so sick of them fighting for that one spot on a low bookshelf to zoom cars on and wonders why they can't just play cars on the floor like "normal" boys!

    The biggest issue we have is that DS1 likes to build and create and DS2 likes to destruct and make messes. It is SO exhausting, and has a lot to do with the behavior challenges I alluded to before. For a long time I felt DS1 was to blame because he'd retaliate aggressively, but I have recently come to understand how much DS2 antagonizes him.

  2. #22
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    Jun 2005
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    Maryland
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    like Taurus, my boys are 3 and 5. they play with the same toys but #2 is not mature enough yet for the more organized play that #1 does. So he just runs through #1's toys and knocks everything over and then they fight. I can "try" to separate them and tell #1 to play in his room but #2 will run screaming after him and throw a fit, he just wants to play with his brother. They just turned 3 and 5 last month and I am hoping that as they approach their next birthdays #2 will mature enough that this happens less, but it's a long ways off.

    we have a small house with no playroom - the toys are all in the living room. And since they are close in age and the same gender they are both interested in the exact same toys so everything is shared. Which is great, but there is little opportunity to separate them.

    #3 isn't due for 6 more weeks so I haven't yet had to tackle doing anything with all 3. I figure if I can just survive the summer then once school starts I'll have it easier with #1 in kindergarten and #2 in part time preschool (don't know his preschool schedule yet, it won't be much but I'll take whatever I can get). The only downside is that the elementary school starts at 7:45 and I'm afraid that just might kill me! I think, at least in the beginning, I will switch to showering at night.
    Joseph Andrew, 3/16/06
    Benjamin Alexander, 3/7/08
    Henry Adam, 6/10/11

  3. #23
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    Jun 2005
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    Do your younger kids play alone well?
    My middle daughter (5Y) is very indendent. She enjoys coloring or playing with dolls on her own. My oldest (6Y) & youngest (3.5Y) probably play together the most, but they also fight the most. My youngest will play alone, especially when her sisters are in school.

    Bedtimes
    DD3 goes to bed between 7:15-7:30. DD2 around 7:30. DD1 usually around 8pm. DD2/3 are up between 6-6:30am, while DD1 will often sleep past 7am. DD3 is transitioning out of naps too. She's napping about 50% of the time. DD2 does not nap. And DD1 will nap on weekends.
    Last edited by marchfamily; 04-29-2011 at 10:57 AM.
    EJM - 1.9.05 | CLM - 5.9.06 | MEM - 9.27.07

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Gorilla Village
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    The biggest issue we have is that DS1 likes to build and create and DS2 likes to destruct and make messes.
    This. My daughter will try to build something with blocks or legos or set up a tea party, and her brother is constantly running through and destroying it. I also have a hard time keeping him out of her room. He just so wants to be where his sister is.

    Now, I can get him to play by himself for a while, but then it usually gets quiet after 10-15 minutes, which usually means more destruction. For example, today he was playing with his cars and new racetrack. The noise ever so slightly changed, and when I went to look for him, I found tons of cat food everywhere. He tried to help out by refilling the cat's food dish and didn't realize that there was an opening in the top, so he was trying to cram it all in from the bottom.

    Bedtime~We are really bad about sticking to something consistant here. We try to get the kids down between 9:00-9:30pm. Part of this is I'm just too tired these days (being just 3 weeks away from my EDD) to handle bedtime by myself, so I usually wait until DH gets home from work. DH and I have agreed that after #3 is a few weeks/months old, the older two will get on a more reasonable schedule. Right now, they both go to their rooms for a couple of hours in the afternoon (usualy 3-5pm), so I can get in some quiet time myself. In addition to being pg, I'm homeschooling, so I need time for grading and whatnot without distraction.

    Leaving Them~I'm not too worried about leaving them with family, as long as there are enough carseats in said family's car. It's been really difficult to get MIL on board with the newer carseat laws, especially when it comes to long trips and hungry babies.

    I'm a little more anxious about getting out with all three, and I know I'll be very nervous the first time it's just me and the kids home by ourselves after DH goes back to work.
    Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings
    we continue to fly...on broomsticks.
    We are flexible like that.

  5. #25
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    Jun 2005
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    We're TTC #3 right now. I've got to say reading this has made me nervous about getting out with 3. DH travels for work and is only home 10/ month, so it is essential I'm able to get out with them. However our big difference is that mine are more spaced out. DS (hopefully) will be almost 7 and in first grade and DD will be 3 and in preschool. What do you guys think? Will that make more of a difference in being able to get out with them?

  6. #26
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    Mar 2006
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    Pookie, I think there are tremendous differences based on spacing and also gender. I try not to play the gender card, but it has been very eye-opening for me having two boys less than 2 years apart! Especially being 1 of 3 girls. My mom says it is so different for me than for her, she can't even describe it! Also, just overall maturity, independence, etc. My older one was lacking this for a while.

    Plus, we all have different things we can tolerate. Baby-wearing is very hard for me, especially being 5 feet tall and under 100 lbs. We live in a huge metropolis and often I am just not up for what it takes to go out, deal with crowds, etc. We don't live walking distance to a park or anything like that. Also, I like the baby to nap at home whenever possible.

    My older boys' behavior together has been my main hurdle in going out, and we have done a lot to work on that. My older one was having a lot of accidents, not saying when he had to go potty because he didn't want to stop playing or have his brother take his stuff, and it got to a point where I couldn't deal with accidents and tantrums when out and about. I am a licensed family therapist and yet my own boys' behavior has been a real challenge for me--I am the very first to admit it, and I have tried to make a lot of changes in how I parent them to improve it. I have a tendency to be inconsistent just to make things go faster, etc. It also took me a long time to realize that DS1 needs more downtime while DS2 needs more stimulation. I got into a bad habit of treating them very equally because they are "so close in age." Yet they are closer to two years apart than 1--they need different things. But I also only recently (duh) realized that because they are so close and similar, some things we just need two of in the house (absolute favorite toys or cars).

    I do and have always done plenty with them on my own. Last summer when she was itty bitty, the boys were only in camp 2 mornings/week, so we got out lots. I can remember nursing DD and trying to keep my boobs covered when she was like 2 weeks old while giving both boys lunch at the zoo and a group of junior-high boys watched me like a hawk! I just have to really plan ahead, and sometimes it is such a pain to pack everything, it is just easier to stay home! At the beginning, I would take the portable DVD player everywhere because often the boys would watch a DVD in the car before or after an outing while I sat in the van and nursed the baby so I wouldn't have to do it at the destination.

    ETA: Also, I am just generally a person who would gravitate toward staying home and am not a morning person. My older sister can do two errands with her boys before I can even get all my kids dressed in the morning! And she will have packed lunches the night before to boot.)

    Now they are 5, 3 and 1 and DS1 has matured SO much since turning 5, that I can count on him to be more flexible and obedient when we are out. His accidents have stopped. DS2 is totally potty trained and has been for months (wasn't when DD was born). Over spring break the other week it was car wash, lunch at a restaurant and then a nursery for a plant just me and them. I had to have the nursery staff help me carry stuff, and there was an embarrassing moment when DS2 ran too far from me at the nursery and made a HUGE scene when I said his behavior meant that we had to immediately leave. I have just also had to learn to not care what anyone else thinks.

    I am also room parent in two preschool classes so plan all the class parties, am always doing crafts and cooking with them at home, etc. The other day a mom at school called me Supermom and I told her that the baby's lunch had been pizza crusts...while in her car seat. Just keeping it real!
    Last edited by Taurus; 04-30-2011 at 08:52 AM.

  7. #27
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    Jun 2005
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    Thanks Taurus. It does help to have realistic expectations. Nothing worse then setting yourself up for disaster. DD is already pted so when #3 arrives, I will only have 1 in dipes. That would be overwleming for me to have 2 in dipes. I do like babyearing, too. I just might need a few more slings, lol. Right now I'm in a ft grad program, but will graduate in Aug. I'm hoping to work 3 days/ week, so we'll have a nanny for #3 and when the other 2 aren't in school. With DH being gone so much, I've realized it is essential to have a housekeeper (varies between every week to every other week. A clean house is a most for me.) and a nanny. It being just me and the kids 24/7 for 5 days is just too much for me. That being said, I'm not the kind of person who likes to stay at home. We live in a major city (top 5) so there are so many things to do. We also like to take lots of trips to visit our hometown 2 hours from here that I need to be able to do w/out DH. The idea of keeping the DVD player in the car is great. I will have to remember that for hopefully 9/10 months from now. Another thing I've come to realize is that being a parent/ having my kids are what I like to do the most, so everything else just has to come second. When DS was born, I had a hard time balancing that with having "my life." I've realized that now is my time to be a parent to small children and I will have time for other things later.
    Last edited by Pookie; 04-30-2011 at 09:33 AM.

  8. #28
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    Mar 2006
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    Pookie, Driving to my younger sister's where the baby could nap on the way there and back was a great outing for us last summer. I agree it is nice to go somewhere where when you arrive, your family can help.

    We also upped our housecleaning in the past year. Also, I am a SAHM so the only time I am ever away from my kids is if I plan it. Even going to Target by myself after they go to bed is a "break." So you might have a very different experience given that you have time in your week when you are doing something different, KWIM? As hard as it is for you to imagine being with them 24/7 like I am, that is as hard as it is for me to imagine also being in school right now or juggling a P/T (or F/T) job. So it truly is very different for every single person!

  9. #29
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    Jun 2005
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    Taurus So true how dif. people have different definitions of what "hard" is. I did SAH for 4 years. I really think that if my DH came home every night, it would have been something I could have done longer. I do have to say, though, that going to work really does give me a nice break. My rotation right now is peds and it's driving me crazy to have be around other's whiny kids all day and then go home to my own. Peds will not be something I choose to do after I don't have to, lol.

  10. #30
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    I've got to say reading this has made me nervous...
    Yep!
    * Wife, Nurse, Mom-squared, Yogi! *

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