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  1. #11
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    Jun 2005
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    The 6yo yells at me about everything (chores, school, getting dressed, etc.), and the 3yo has started asserting himself more and more in the form of telling me "no" when I tell him to do something.
    I've got 2 these ages (girls) and it sounds very much like our life.

    Regarding getting out and/or leaving them -- My experience was that it was incredibily hard to get out until my youngest was walking (32 months between my 3 girls). Now that my youngest is putting on her own shoes, can get dressed and go potty, it is FAR easier. I go out quite a bit with all 3. Parking lots are probably my biggest worry. We leave all 3 with the 2 sets of grandparents (MIL one day/week and overnight or weekend visits too).

    I'm trying to figure out if I can swing the pool alone with all 3 non-swimmers this summer.
    Last edited by marchfamily; 04-28-2011 at 01:38 PM.
    EJM - 1.9.05 | CLM - 5.9.06 | MEM - 9.27.07

  2. #12
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    Mar 2006
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    Yes, I do think things will get only get easier as they get older. At the same time, I am so glad that we had the baby while we were still in the preschool years. No homework, no major responsibilities...we've had a pretty flexible schedule since having DD and I have really enjoyed it.

    Jane - I edited my post to add; DS1 is 5 years, 3 months (in Pre-K); DS1 is 3 years, 6 months, and DD just turned 1 last week.

    As for the behavior, in our case things got a lot better when my sister moved out of town. We were spending a lot of time with my sister and her kids, and her oldest is 4 days younger than my oldest. They went to preschool together and we did a lot of things together. My son was TERRIBLE when around his cousin, and terrible to DS2. He never tried to make any other friends either. My nephew is very bossy and his sibling is much younger than him unlike DS1's little brother. My nephew is used to being the boss and not sharing and DS1 always tried to be just like him. DS1's confidence has soared since my nephew moved away, and he isn't so mean to DS2. But overall, yes, the biggest challenge in my daily life is helping my oldest two get along overall. Some days are better than others. And although they fight, they are each other's constant companions.
    Last edited by Taurus; 04-28-2011 at 11:12 PM. Reason: oops, found another error in this post, meant to respond to JANE

  3. #13
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    Mar 2006
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    I was thinking about my comments just now when driving to get the boys haircuts (my mom stayed with the baby who isn't feeling well--love having my parents close by!).

    I should add that DS2 is actually a major reason why going out with all 3 has been/was so difficult. While, yes, DS1 has had some behavior challenges, DS2 is the one who will not hold my hand or the stroller, not stay by my side, run out the gate at preschool toward the parking lot when I pick them up, etc. So, while DS1 has given me a lot of attitude during the past year and a half and can rile his brother up and has been the aggressor between the two of them, in public he actually will be cautious and careful. DS2 has made going places alone stressful, even just picking up at preschool.

    Also, part of the craziness was brought on by me not making the boys do enough things for themselves, which this thread helped me realize in the past few months, especially the discussion a few months ago re: morning routines. I took a lot of your suggestions as far as making the boys do more things for themselves. I think I have always done a lot of things for them just to make it go faster, but it has paid off to make them do more things independently.

    The bedtime craziness I alluded to is mostly because all mine go to bed at around the same time. The boys no longer nap and can't stay awake past 7. If their bedtimes were more staggered it would be easier for me to do it all by myself, but I love how early they are all asleep by. Overall, managing bedtimes solo has gotten better, especially as she has taken less time to nurse/get to sleep. It's also become iPad time for the boys and they will share that thing really well and do books or make pictures on it while I get her to bed.

    The reason I said that I am glad we had the third during the preschool years is for convenience. Our preschool is 3 blocks away and starts at 9. So in the whole first year of having another infant, we never had to be anywhere earlier than 9 am.

    Finally, we *have* managed to maintain some date nights and the like, usually with my parents putting the boys to bed and we just leave after I put DD down. Fortunately our kids go to bed early. And MIL can totally handle all 3 even though my mom has trouble. MIL lives far away so she stores up her energy, plus mine are her only grandchildren. She tells me she rests when she gets home. She just has a lot of stamina and she doesn't get as stressed out as my mom. She also handles the boys' fighting better than my mom does. MIL is actually coming in May for a weekend so we can have a local getaway now that DD is partly weaned. I can't wait!

    Sorry for the novel, but I just wanted to clarify where I was coming from and not scare anyone. Having three kids is my dream come true, and I love it.

  4. #14
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    Jun 2005
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    I have only lately begun to take all 3 kids to the park by myself, and then it's only select parks. If the park is too big or has to many gaps up on the structure, I need another adult with me. There is one pool in my area that has a small wading pool area and DH & I really tried to wriggle our finances to be able to afford the membership dues, but it just isn't feasible right now. There are 2 public pools with wade-in pools so I think I'll stick to those, and try to go with a friend so we can play zone defense with all of our kids. Luckily our friends all only have 1-2 kids so we can help each other out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Taurus View Post
    I have also learned I can hardly post on CC without needing to go back and edit 50 times because I am always so distracted that I can barely type coherently.
    LOL! This is so true! I also will leave a reply window open for half of a (or all) day because I can't type more than a few words without having to jump up. So if my posts reply to something old, it's usually because that's how long it took to hit "post reply!"


    Question for you moms of 3:
    Do your younger kids playing alone well? My ODD used to be able to play by herself for long periods of time, but my younger two have never really done that. All 3 usually play together, and if one splits off it's only for 15 minutes or so. Lately I've been worrying if that is a negative thing, that my younger two don't know how to play alone for very long? I want them to all be equally independent, but now if my DH takes 2 kids with him somewhere, the one with me spends a lot of time moping around and being "bored." I don't know if I should be encouraging more alone time or what. What do you do?

  5. #15
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    Jun 2005
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    One of our neighborhood pools is a giant wading pool with slides and sprayers and stuff. It's no more than 2 feet deep anywhere. I was able to take all four kids there last summer. It's awesome. When we moved a couple of years ago, I insisted on buying in this neighborhood specifically for this pool. There are three lifeguards on duty, and millions of moms who will step in and help, even if they don't know you. We'll be going again this summer.

    Playing alone - My kids are all pretty good about playing alone. I think a lot of that is my personality. I'm not one to sit and play with my kids really, so even if just one kid is home with me, I don't think they even think that I would be an option for a playmate. They will come get me to show me things that they've made, and they will ask me to come in the room with them for company, but once I'm there, they don't expect me to play and they are happy if I just sit and read a book or do chores.
    Karla, CPST Mom to DS1 5/06 * DD 8/07 * DS2 8/08 * DS3 3/10

  6. #16
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    Jul 2005
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    Adding my third has so far been a piece of cake! Of course, he is not mobile quite yet, so he's been super easy. He's a mellow, go-with-the-flow guy who naps wherever he happens to be and doesn't complain about it.

    I go pretty much everywhere with all 3 who are DD1 4.5, DD1 3 and DS 7m--preschool 3x a week, grocery, Target, YMCA for gymnastics and swimming, the mall, parks. We are stoked that pool time is almost here, but DD1 is a proficient swimmer, and DD2 started some rudimentary independent swimming last year. Our public pool also is very kid friendly (zero entry with only a very small 4ft area), so it will be great even with all of them. My DD1 is a cautious, good listener most of the time, and we worked on a lot of safety-related rules with DD2 over the last year because she used to be a runner. It has helped. It also helps that my older 2 are pretty inseparable, so I can keep an eye on them easily most of the time. Babywearing is absolutely essential. I find the stroller more trouble than it's worth most times (takes too many hands!), and the infant carrier was an albatross!

    Bedtime--My older 2 also do not nap, so they are in bed by 7. I read them a quick story together and then put them in their own beds and tuck them in. They're so tired that typically they crash and then I nurse the baby and put him down. I hate doing bedtime alone, but we've gotten to a point where it works.

    My mother-in-law desperately wants to babysit all 3 kids, and I know that she and FIL can handle it since they often keep 5 of the grandkids at once. Yes, they are crazy. But DS doesn't take a bottle, and he's so easy that I haven't minded having him along. This weekend will be the first time I'm leaving him for more than on hour or 2.

    Do your younger kids play alone well? DS is is too little to tell, and truth be told, the girls are seldom without one another. But DD1 has school on Fridays while DD2 does not. During that time, DD2 seems to entertain herself just fine, and she plays with DS a lot as well. But it's not a very long time. Earlier this week, MIL took DD1 for some one-on-one time, and DD2 was beside herself, but I think that was more jealousy than boredom.
    Us ~2005 * #1~2006 * #2~2008 * #3~-2010 * #4 due 9/19/12

  7. #17
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    Jun 2005
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    Adding my third: I was FAR from easy, however it's getting better as he's getting older. He just turned 5 months, my other two are 26 months old.

    Do your younger kids play alone well? One of my twins plays by herself REALLY well, too well if you ask me. The other is twin is right in the middle. She likes to know you're around, but she's also happy to do her own things a lot of the time.

    Bedtime: My twins nap from about 1:00 to 3:00/4:00 and go to bed around 8:00. They get up about 7:30. The baby is not on a sold schedule, but goes to bed around 7:00 or 8:00.

    Going out w/all three: I will take them all to my sister's house or my mom's house, but even that's not easy. Before the baby came I was a pro at taking the girls out by myself. I just can't see myself taking all three of them somewhere right now when they are all so young. It's too hard and that bums me out.

    Leaving all three: My mom watches all three at my house three days a week, my MIL one day a week and a cousin of my DH one day a week. I have a lot of guilt over this because I know it's hard on the grandmas, but they INSIST. They have all offered to watch all three so DH and I can go out but I'm not comfortable with that yet. The dinner and bedtime routine is hard because it all happens at the same time and my older two can't do much of anything for themselves yet. Last time DH and I went out alone was when I was 6.5 months PG
    Loving my DDs and DS

  8. #18
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    Mar 2006
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    Playing alone - DS1 plays very well alone, and it is an absolute joy when it is just him home without his brother (like if DH takes DS2 out). We try to give him time at home with his toys and without DS2 whenever possible. DS2 is not good at playing by himself, he always asks for TV or food. He is pretty clingy with me and just whines a lot, but in public he's much more sociable, friendly, outgoing and willing to try things than DS1 The baby is pretty good at playing independently, but she gets into everything she is not supposed to get into, and things I never worried about because the boys never tried!

  9. #19
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    Jun 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by karlatta View Post
    Playing alone - My kids are all pretty good about playing alone. I think a lot of that is my personality. I'm not one to sit and play with my kids really, so even if just one kid is home with me, I don't think they even think that I would be an option for a playmate. They will come get me to show me things that they've made, and they will ask me to come in the room with them for company, but once I'm there, they don't expect me to play and they are happy if I just sit and read a book or do chores.
    Just to clarify, I'm not talking about them needing me to play with them. It's more that they want to have another kid to play with most of the time. The 3 of them will play for literally hours without me, but that's a total recipe for disaster so I have to jump in all the time (to pull someone off of someone else or stop the slap fight or move the furniture back where it belongs or whatever!).

    It's more about them choosing to play alone versus choosing to always play with their siblings.

  10. #20
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    Jul 2005
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    Gig Harbor, WA
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    Scooter I will make the kids play in different areas of the house by themselves. I could only imagine how I would feel if I was with someone ALL the time. If they do get in a fight I use Love and Logic and usually have them "talk" to each other about what happened (with my help) and what they could have done. DS gets it more than DD1 but she's catching on.

    Going out with all three I do it all the time. YMCA, Target, Grocery Store, Zoo, etc. I am grateful that DD2 will sit in a stroller or shopping cart because DD1 wouldn't but now that she's older she does fine. The kids know the rules of that they have to "walk with me" and they know if they can't see me it's not okay.

    Leaving all three My mom watches my kids while I work. DS is in Kindergarten so most of the day she just has the girls. When we go out at night we will put DD2 down to bed and then go out so it's not as much work for my aunt. It's just so hard to ask my mom since she watches them all day already.

    Bedtime DD2 goes to bed around 6:30-7 so the older 2 will listen to books on the computer or practice letters while I get her to sleep. Then they go to bed around 8-8:30

    Adding my third It's been the easiest. She is almost 9 months old a very smiley, happy girl. She makes me want another one!
    Brian & Kim 7/13/02
    Douglas 5/05 Margaret 3/08 Charlotte 8/10 Griffin 5/12

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