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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Ontario, Canada
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    Default Potty Trained - major regression

    HELP! I have washed more undies/shorts on for my DD in the last month then I have the last 8 that she has been trained!!

    DD was trained and in undies all day starting in November. In the last month she has gradually started having more and more accidents. I can't remember the last time she ASKED to go pee.

    (Prior to this week) There have been none of the 'triggers' for regression (new sibling, daycare, move change in routine).

    Most of the time she wets her undies, I notice and then take her. However there have been some full out, running down the leg pees and she just doens't seem to notice (or care). She will walk around for hours in wet undies. She has full out peed withing seconds of my asking her to go. Tonight she has wet 3 pairs of undies in a row and hasn't had a full pee in about 3 hours.

    SHe is very strong willed - if she says no she will throw herself off the toilet into a full out temper tantrum.

    My mom suggested I 'start from scratch'. But she trained so easily I don't know what to do. Today (we are AT my parents for a few days right now) we tried M&M's as rewards. Worked twice and back to the same old same old.

    Part of me wants to just put her in diapers - but it seems drastic after 8 months in undies.... and she doesn't care so I fear it will take her back to diapers 100% (which there should be no reason for at this point).
    Tara and Terry: May 13, 2006
    Elizabeth Vittoria: December 21, 2007

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
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    Default

    This sounds like exactly what we've been going through with our 3 year old. She did just fine with potty training at first, then she spent a night with my ILs for New Year's while DH and I went to a wedding and she was almost completely untrained during 24 hours. We tried to get her back on track, but then we went on vacation, she got a new baby brother, and then we sold our house and are in the process of moving. About a month or so ago, at the 1 year mark of initially starting potty training, I just gave up and put her back in diapers/pull ups full time. Sorry, I'm sure that's not what you want to hear, but I personally couldn't deal with it anymore. The break from all the nonsense has been wonderful. I'll try to re-train her in a few months.
    Betsy and Dave, married 10/18/03
    Amelia Claire 3/4/07
    Nathan Edward 3/10/10

  3. #3
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    Jun 2005
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    Default

    It sounds like a control thing. I'd tell her that you don't care and put her back in dipes. She'll do it when she's ready.

  4. #4
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    Jun 2005
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    Wouldn't you like to know...hmm?
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    DS took about a year and a half to be potty trained due to regressions. The major culprit? Pull ups. Once he was nap and night trained he never had another accident. And he was strong willed, has major control issues, etc. He would literally tell me he had to pee but refused to go because he was playing. I tried EVERYTHING! Even today if he goes in a pull-up he will regress again.
    "It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be gentle and kind" ~ The Smiths
    DS1 6.29.06 ~:~ DS2 10.7.10

  5. #5
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    Jun 2005
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    Does she wet herself even when she's not in underpants? Sometimes they hold it better when they're not wearing clothes. Especially with it being summer, you could try letting her wear no pants for awhile and see if she will get back into the habit of using the bathroom.

    Is she doing it when she's busy with something, like focused on an activity or TV show? We have gone through several phases like that. DD's preschool teacher now knows to remind her to use the bathroom and help her with the transition if she doesn't want to stop playing, because otherwise she has daily accidents at school. I try to help her find good times when she's playing "to take a quick break" at home because she won't stop playing until there is some leaking.

    We did have a phase early on (right around age 3) where it was like a control thing, and I ended up basically taking her to into the bathroom, getting cleaned up, etc right away anyway, so she was forced to stop playing and deal with it. The whole time I told her how LOOONG it takes to get cleaned up, and I dragged it out a bit. And we talked a lot about how FAST it is to go potty and then go back to playing. It took awhile but it finally worked.

    It sounds like there may be more to your DD's situation because she doesn't seem to mind, but maybe these things sound familiar to you, too.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    2,327

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    I'm bumping up this thread. My DS is a little older (3yrs, 4months) and he has been PT'd since right before Xmas. He is not night-trained and most mornings wakes up with a pretty full pull-up.

    Starting Memorial Day weekend and throughout most of the summer- he has been peeing in his pants at least 2x per week. And almost daily he has a wet spot on his undies. Almost like he is waiting to feel the wet in his undies and then he asks to go. But sometimes at daycare he just doesn't care to stop playing to tell someone he needs to go and just full on pees himself.

    Very frustrating. DH had bought him a new Cars car and told him if he can go a whole "school week" without wetting his pants, he will earn the car. Two weeks in a row he was out by Wednesday. I remind him every morning at drop-off about coming home with dry pants and I always celebrate him when he does. Last night he peed in pants in the car seat driving home. No warning- just did it. I marched him in the house, told him I was very sad, and gave him new undies and pants and told him to clean up by himself.

    I don't know really how else to discourage this.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    Ontario, Canada
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    E&O.... I wish I had some great advice for you - since I started this thread LAST SUMMER! But we dealt with this for the last year. No UTI ever emerged, no underlying medical condition or any great stress. DD just needs to be in control and if she decided she isn't going to go to the washroom - she will wait until her undies are wet (still - daycare is better then home thankfully) - and if I suggest going to the bathroom it is like I suggest she poison herself - however if she initiates it she will go with no incidents). We have had a little success with telling her that we will stop the movie/wait for her before we eat/stop playing etc. But even that is hit and miss. Bribery was a no-go, didn't accomplish anything with her. Neither did punishments.

    Good Luck!
    Tara and Terry: May 13, 2006
    Elizabeth Vittoria: December 21, 2007

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Boston
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    E&O, a lot of what I've read from you lately has seemed kind of stressed out and maybe not so happy (like with yourself, life, etc.). Is it possible that your son is picking up on some of your stress? I'm not judging you at ALL, just throwing it out there as a possibility. When DD regressed (BAD) I found the exact *second* I stopped caring and went back to the loving "it's ok, we'll make it next time" routine she completely stopped having accidents (it was really weird, actually). Obvs this was just a dynamic between me and her that had to be worked out; it might not be like that with your son.
    Last edited by merjmo; 08-11-2011 at 11:33 AM.
    marriage 10.2.04
    baby 10.23.07
    baby2 8.20.10

  9. #9
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    Feb 2006
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    I suggest going to the bathroom it is like I suggest she poison herself
    geek- i agree with this! When the accidents started I assumed we just needed to step up our game on reminding him to go. But if we suggested it- man does he fight it tooth and nail. In fact every morning, when he wakes up I take him to the bathroom right away to take off the pull-up and put on undies. And almost every morning he cries because he doesn't want go!

    merjmo- uh-oh, you're onto me! You could be right, I never really stop to think if my own "things" are affecting them. I'll need to be much more cautious of that.

    Well- I may have started something last night. Because he peed in the car seat the night before, I made him go to the bathroom before leaving daycare. He didn't want to but I remembered that they are having him "stand up" to go, so I got excited about that and said "go to the bathroom, show me how you stand up!" and it worked! So I thought- we have little beches at home- this could work there too. So before bed and again this morning he went to the potty standing up with no fighting. I don't know if it will stop the accidents- especially when he's too busy playing and doesn't care- but at least it helps with the extra bathroom trip and less drama! Plus it could cut down on the wet pants due to, what we call "the bad tuck" when he is sitting down.

  10. #10
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    Jun 2005
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    it won't help your situation, but i think i figured out the issue with my ds. we went back to using pull-ups at night and he stopped having accidents during the day. i ran out of pull-ups a few days ago and and for the last 3 days he's been peeing his pants again. just strange.
    noa 6.6.04
    henri 9.10.06

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