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  1. #321
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    Betsy - what do you mean by intervals? Delaying the time from when she cries to when we go in the room? We do that - though we could be more consistent. I'm willing to go hardcore on the delay thing. You'll have to forgive me if I am fuzzy on the terminology of each of the methods. They all start to blur together in my sleepless state! What I mean by inconsistent is two things. First, her awaking time is all over the map. Weissbluth says to just delay going in to the room for 15 min or so each time and the baby will start to sleep later. But the problem is that sometimes its 1 am and sometimes its 4 am and then the next night will be 3 am. Sometims it's once a night and sometimes it's 5. The other thing that is inconsistent is that sometimes when we delay (a la Ferber, I think), it works and she goes back to sleep on her own. But plenty of other times she just cries harder and wakes herself up more.

    If I have misunderstood Ferber - please educate me!

    Ali - Yes, she gets herself more and more worked up as time passes. I mean, sometimes she will make a small wimper and cry and then go back to sleep. Which is why we delay before one of us go in the room.

    What I think is that STTN is a developmental milestone, albeit one not set in stone (because babies can ebb and flow on it). So like potty training, walking, crawling and talking, there is a huge range of time for when a child achieves it that is completely normal. The critical point in this and why so many people so (overly, IMO) focus upon it is that a baby's ability to STTN has a huge impact on the parents' ability to do so as well, whereas a child's ability to walk, talk, etc., has no bearing on the parents' ability to do so.

    But I am just a layman and first time mom so I may be totally full of crap.

    I will say that everyone said feed her formula and she'll STTN. Then they said feed her solids and she'll STTN. That has had ZERO impact.

  2. #322
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    I'm not sure if I'm using the right term actually- it's been a long time since I read that book! But basically the idea of Ferber is to go in at a set amount of time after the first cry and then a set amount of time after that and so on, until the baby goes back to sleep. So it doesn't actually matter what time she cries (whether it's 1am or 3am or whatever). There's a chart in the book with the times- the first night has the shortest times between visits and each night, you gradually increase the amount of time before you go in to see her.

    Also, it's super important to be consistent! If you sometimes go get her after letting her cry for a bit, you're just teaching her that she needs to keep crying until you come in which will make things worse, not better.
    Betsy and Dave, married 10/18/03
    Amelia Claire 3/4/07
    Nathan Edward 3/10/10

  3. #323
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    I am of the mind that good sleepers are born, not made which might put me in the minority here. And eventually, they will STTN although it could take years. I have a crappy sleeper (my first) and a great sleeper (my second). With my first, I tried everything. Ferber, sleep lady shuffle, I hired a sleep lady to come to my house. Nothing worked. She had/has very little ability to self sooth, is a light sleeper, and doesn't require a lot of sleep. Some nights would be good, some bad and there was no rhyme or reason for any of it. At some point along the way, she learned to not wake us up and manage on her own but I think she may have been 5.

    I am not trying to be negative or discourage you, rather share my experience and hope it helps. I recall being so upset that everyone I knew had sleeping babies and I was walking around like a zombie. It was so hard and I never thought I would survive and I had visions of taking her to college and having to wrap her in a bed sheet (she swaddled until she was well past 2) and rock her to sleep.

    I have no advice but I can certainly empathize.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    A&K 05.18.02
    Baby Girl 09.06.05... Angel Baby Oct 2007... Baby Girl 10.21.08
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle

  4. #324
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    Quote Originally Posted by jajacobsen View Post
    But plenty of other times she just cries harder and wakes herself up more.
    Yes, this will happen She's mad that she's not getting what she wants!
    Betsy and Dave, married 10/18/03
    Amelia Claire 3/4/07
    Nathan Edward 3/10/10

  5. #325
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    jaja: CIO is the best thing we ever did for our kids. I loosely did Weissbluth, but I didn't go in and check on her (I say her because DS didn't even really need sleep training- he's a champion sleeper). We let her cry an hour the first night. 45 minutes the second and on and on. She really was text book though (reducing the amount of crying each night) so it probably would have been harder if she was crying for hours every night for a week or something.

    She then turned into the best sleeper ever at a really young age...and has now become a nightmare sleeper.

    So as for sleep deprived mamas- count me in! Can't figure out why an almost 5 year old would get out of their bed and come in our room 15 times a night. Isn't she tired?! I feel like having another baby because as long as I'm up, I might as well be feeding a newborn!

  6. #326
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    I agree with Taffers. I have three kids, and I let the first two CIO and it worked like a charm. DH thought I was a terrible person when I started it with DD but he soon realized that it was the way to go. My problems began when I had my third- I had DS1 sharing a room with the baby so I couldn't let DS2 CIO for fear of waking his brother. As a result DS2 took forever to STTN and still runs into our room almost every night. Blech.

  7. #327
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    jaja It might be a silly question, but is it possible that she's teething & that's waking her up? Maybe a little motrin to help her through the night?

  8. #328
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    Just as a follow up - the below is a post from my journal

    Kathleen slept through the night! She did wake up a couple of times, but out herself back to sleep and eventually woke up about 5.45am. Which I know seems early but we get up at 5.15, so I think she hears up and wants up.

    Her sleep has been (mostly) better of late. We used to put her down at about 7pm, but about a month ago she would fight going down - and end up going down at 8pm anyway. So, we moved it to 8. Sometimes she would wake up between 9-11 and need soothing, but mostly not, and then would wake sometime between 2-4. Of course she would wake up lots, but we found if we delayed going in, she would put herself back to sleep. But almost consistently, sometime between 2-4, there would be a wakeup where the cries became ever more intense and she was not putting herself back to sleep. Usually only once in this time frame. Sometimes twice. We would get up and soothe her back to sleep, and she would sleep soundly till about 5.30-6am.

    But last night we made it all the way through!

    For reference, she gets dropped off at daycare at 6.45. She usually gets a bottle and drops off to sleep for 30-40 min. She has a mid morning nap of 1 hr, an afternoon nap at 1pm of (ideally) 2.5 hours, and depending upon when we arrive for pickup, she has often dozed off between 5.30-6pm. Sadly, the reality if that we often don't get off work in time to get her before 6-6.30pm. She's getting at least 13 hours of sleep per day, sometimes more, which is normal for her age.


    Cr8zy - I completely agree. I think we may have added to the problem by doing breastfeeding on demand, but this baby never slept consistently, even when formula fed in the NICU. I think we can improve the sleep window by being very consistent with schedule, but I don't think it s ever going to be as easy as someone whose child started sleeping 8 hours before 2 months. Soem babies just know how to self sooth and do back to sleep and some seem toneed extra help. I just can't do CIO right now, but definitely doing the delaying thing and that seems to help.

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