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  1. #11
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    Aug 2005
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    Metrowest Boston
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    We have been fairly lucky so far, but she is still swaddled and of course we haven't hit teething yet so we still have plenty of time for it all to go downhill.

    My problem is that I have such a hard time sleeping. So even if she STTN I am awake anticipating if she'll get up. Plus I am up much later than I was before I had her because there isn't time in the day to get everything done, and I am up 1 1/2 hours earlier than I was before her. So while I am not up with a crying child all night, I am extremely sleep deprived and it is definitely taking a toll on my physically, on my marriage, and on my job.

    I will be 36 when DD turns one and that's when we'll start ttc #2. I had a minor scare last month - had the HPT come out + the kids would have been 11 months apart.I almost made myself physically ill even thinking about it.

    Unless we win the lottery, our kids will have to share a room. We kept DD in our room until 4 months. Next time I told myself I would want DC out of room before I went back to work, but that means DC#2 would be in with DD so she would probably wake up.

    Every once in a while I think about not having a second because so many people we know had good sleepers with the first and crappy ones with the second.
    J&D - May 2005 *** E - 8/7/06 *** J - 3/17/09

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    868

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    Our son didn't STTN until he was almost 2 and by STTN, I mean he sleeps most of the night. He still gets up at least once a night nine out of ten nights. It's frustrating but that's the way he is. I can't imagine having a child that STTN as a baby. DD is three weeks and the longest stretch she has slept at night is three hours and that feels like heaven!! DS didn't sleep a three-hour stretch until he was at least six months old. He woke up every two hours on the dot for months and months.

    I'm really hoping that DD is a better sleeper. For a long time, DH would not even entertain the idea of having another child because of DS's sleep habits. As much as we wanted another child, we were just too tired! DH finally agreed because I said we couldn't possibly have two children who didn't sleep! I hope that I didn't jinx myself.

    So, mamas, I feel your pain. And how many of you want to strangle the next person who asks how your child is sleeping?

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Fort Worth, TX
    Posts
    1,056

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    **Raises hand**
    My 6.5 month old DD is the crappiest sleeper I know. Always has been. She's up between 4-7 times every.night. Last night she went to bed at 7:30, was up at 8:30, 9:00, 11-2, 5, and up for the day at 8:45. I'm at a total loss for what to do with her. She seems to wake up for no reason. She's not hungry, but she won't let anyone but me comfort her back to sleep. I've tried CIO, NCSS, Weissbluth, everything to no avail. I guess I'm just a lucky mom of a non-gifted sleeper.

    I'm lucky that I only work part time and that's at home, so I don't have to worry about getting up and focusing on work every day. I'm not so sure I could do that.

    The thing that bothers me most is that I think I would be such a better mother if I got more sleep. I find myself getting furious with her in the middle of the night when she won't sleep. I feel horrible the next day, I mean, how can I get mad at such a little baby? She's in pretty good spirits during the day and she takes decent naps (most of the time), so I guess I should be thankful for that.

    I'm not glad by any means that there are others out there with bad sleepers, but I am kinda happy to know that I'm not alone. I get so tired of hearing about all my friends and family who have such wonderful sleepers. Always makes me wonder what in the world I did wrong with this child.

    I've always wanted several children, but the thought of having to go through this again scares the crap out of me. Before having her, we had planned to have kids about 2 years apart, but like the PP said, I can't imagine dealing with this while in the throes of morning sickness.

    Who ever knew that sleep (or lack thereof) would be the total focus of my world for the first year of DD's life! Twinnyme, you give me hope that eventually she will grow out of it, but for now, I need to just learn to accept it!
    Kate Elyse 7.03.06 ~Avery Claire 9.03.08 ~ Girl #3 due 9/23/11
    Chronicles of a Sleep-Deprived Mama

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    (north of) Boston
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    6,999

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThreeYell View Post
    I wish I knew how to adjust my thinking about the whole thing because I don't think there's anything I can do to make DS regularly STTN and take a 2-hour nap everyday.
    Quote Originally Posted by smurf
    but for now, I need to just learn to accept it!
    These two quotes hit me because I think that when I was going through the thick of this, I really felt like this was the most difficult thing for me. I'm a control freak (I admit it) and not being able to control this was SO hard. I think when I finally began accepting how badly the sleep situation su**ed it ironically made things (slightly) more bearable. I still wasn't getting sleep but I was able to think about it better. I don't know, this isn't coming out right, but these two quotes hit home with me. I think I started my sleep journal, too, in order to HELP myself accept it better... it still wasn't FUN by any stretch of the imagination, but it helped to vent it, to record it, and to try to change my thinking about it (I got to see that sometimes she WAS sleeping through, and that gave me hope that eventually she would do it completely on her own). I also got feedback from CC friends who have now been friends for more than a year - and their support really helped.

    hmbay - yeah, I don't really think age has much to do with it either; I was just wondering when I saw that three of us were around 35. But you're right - now that you mention it, I always had trouble sleeping and maybe DD is just like me (god, I hope not, for her sake). Also, your post reminded me that one of my college friends has ALWAYS needed a lot more sleep than "usual" (like, 10 or 11 hours a night) and partly that has her terrified to have a child. I don't blame her!
    Last edited by twinnyme; 01-16-2007 at 12:45 PM.
    Melissa & Dave ~ 5/31/03 * Becca ~ 1/14/05 * Bridget ~ 4/9/08 * Allison ~ 1/19/12
    The Mommy (& Everything Else) Journal

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    MD
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    5,148

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    I think someone younger might be able to deal with it better...I remember being able to stay up all night and work all day the following day when I was in my 20's. I cannot do that now.


    I also got feedback from CC friends who have now been friends for more than a year - and their support really helped.
    This is exactly why I wanted to start this thread...we are not alone..but sometimes I feel so alone.

    smurf - you are not alone and you certainly didn't do anything wrong. I truly believe some kids are just born this way. My daughter is extremely sensitive, requires a lot of pacification - nothing I did made her this way and there is nothing I can do to change it. Yes, agree that sleep would probably make us better mothers. I remember being so horrified at stories on the news about mother's who shake their babies..after the past 16 months, I can completely understand how it happens (I still find it horrifying and would never do anything to hurt her..but I have a better understanding). I thank god I have a strong support system..I think that is very important.

    bluebunny - you give me hope - 2..that means I have 8 more months to go. And yes, I would like to claw eyes when I hear how great all my friends babies sleep.

    jessybell - I am the same way. And I would finally get DD down and then I couldn't fall back to sleep because I would just wait for her to start crying again..which would always happen sooner or later.

    I am also a control freak and the thing that got me was I had no idea what was coming next - I always had a schedule, a to do list and that all got thrown out the window when baby came..and once the 'schedule' started to slip things would just spiral out of control. And I think the log is a great idea..that way you can see small improvements that would probably go unnoticed without the log.
    A&K 05.18.02
    Baby Girl 09.06.05... Angel Baby Oct 2007... Baby Girl 10.21.08
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
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    281

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    I'm joining too! DD is 5 months old and sleep has been our biggest issue with her. She is a great baby - very happy and fun but she always has trouble going to sleep. It has gotten a little better - at night she has been sleeping in her co-sleeper for 6 hours, wakes up to eat and then sleeps another 6 hours. For the past two nights, she has gotten up every 3 hours. She is a lousy napper - I can never get her to sleep right away even though I know she's tired. She sleeps for 30 minutes stretches, sometimes in my arms. I get nothing done around the house. I wonder if I created some bad habits in her. She rarely sleeps in her crib because I like having her sleep next to me. In fact, I'm looking for something to replace her mini co-sleeper since she's getting bigger. I don't like to have her cry so I do hold her a lot. It has been frustrating because most of my friends have great sleeping babies and don't understand where I am coming from.

  7. #17
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    Jun 2005
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    I'll join, but I'm hoping my stay is short . DD will be 15 months this week. Her sleep was going well until about 6 months and then all h*ll broke loose. I know I'm cursing myself , but she actually STTN last night for the first time in 5-6 months. Even until the last 2-3 weeks, she's been getting up 3-4 times a night. It's tough and I'm exhausted, and if I hear one more time it is my coffee consumption keeping her up I'm going to scream. I tried giving it up to see what would happen, and nothing improved. (I'm still BFing her and we don't co-sleep, so sleeping and feeding her isn't an option -- not by my choice).

    I feel fortunate that she is a pretty good napper as long as I am consistent at the times I put her down. If I miss the window by 10 minutes, then watch out because she won't be napping and boy does she get cranky. I've had to be militant about her nap and night sleep time or else it makes things 10 times worse for me. My DH tries to help but she usually wants to nurse.

    I'm not sure why things have been getting better the last 2-3 weeks, we haven't done anything differently. I think maybe, just maybe, her teeth might no longer be bothering her.

    I used to get upset about it, but she has got such a great disposition I've decided I'd take a crappy sleeper over a cranky kid.
    Us 03.03
    Big Sister 10.05
    Baby Brother 01.08

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Fort Worth, TX
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    Cr8zyforaf-thanks for the support. I really needed this thread today.

    Quote Originally Posted by cr8zyforaf View Post
    I remember being so horrified at stories on the news about mother's who shake their babies..after the past 16 months, I can completely understand how it happens (I still find it horrifying and would never do anything to hurt her..but I have a better understanding)
    I was just talking about this with my mom this morning. I would never do anything to hurt DD, but after dealing with her for 6 months, I'm actually suprised there aren't more cases of shaken baby syndrome.

    Count me in on the control freak club. Sometimes I think having this particular baby is God's way of telling me that I can't be in control of EVERYTHING
    Kate Elyse 7.03.06 ~Avery Claire 9.03.08 ~ Girl #3 due 9/23/11
    Chronicles of a Sleep-Deprived Mama

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    upstate ny
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    OMG, thank you for this thread! I haven't read it in detail yet, but I am so glad to see that other babies don't STTN. I mean, I'm sorry you all are in this position, too, but I've been extra frustrated with this lately. I've also been feeling like this isn't normal and I must have done something to screw up my kid.

    DD turns 12 months on Thrusday and is still waking up 3-4 times a night. Luckily she does go to sleep like a champ somewhere between 7 and 8 pm. But then she's up around 11, and then two or three more times after that.

    MIL told me once that none of her kids STTN until they were at least 3. I figured she must be exaggerating, but now I believe her. And it terrifies me that this bad sleeping thing might be genetic. I do want to start TTC #2 soon, but I don't know how I'd manage with 2 kids not STTN.

  10. #20
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    Jun 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by elladee View Post
    MIL told me once that none of her kids STTN until they were at least 3. I figured she must be exaggerating, but now I believe her. And it terrifies me that this bad sleeping thing might be genetic. I do want to start TTC #2 soon, but I don't know how I'd manage with 2 kids not STTN.
    You know, I've come to the realization that all kids aren't the same. DD is super easy to get down, but she gets up a ton. My mom said the same thing to me (and there are 6 of us). Actually her exact words were "why push her, you kids didn't STTN until kindergarten?"

    That is part of the reason I'm hesitant to TTC #2, I need some rest first and god help me if #2 is colic or a crappy sleeper.

    DH is so worried we are doing something wrong, but I try to reassure him not every single kid STTN. And many of those who claim to, say that so people stop bugging them.
    Us 03.03
    Big Sister 10.05
    Baby Brother 01.08

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