Quantcast
Page 3 of 101 FirstFirst 123451353 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 1007
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    OH
    Posts
    372

    Default

    Renrel~ I can totally relate, my almost 89 y/o Grandma is going through something similar. She has a little apartment at an assisted living community and recently became ill with bronchitis and had to be hospitilized b/c they thought it would turn into pnenmonia. Last week she became well enough and gained enough strength to be released from the hospital although she needs round the clock care. She has a nurses aid that is with her from 8am - 8pm and another aid to stay with her throughout the night. The cost is close to $10,000 a month and my dad and his siblings are afraid they are going to have to move her to a nursing home because this is costing so much money, although a nursing home is still a lot of $$$. My parents flew out to see her and my mom was telling me how hard it was on my dad seeing her like this. She has always been so active and independent and now she needs help bathing and dressing. She has told us that she is ready to pass and we really thought this illness would be it, but she managed to pull through and hopefully your Grandma will too.
    Married ~10-27-01~
    Lauren ~10-04-03~
    Emma ~6-23-08~

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    2,376

    Default

    Oh kerrykate that picture IS wonderful!! Lauren does look so grown up and beautiful. Her smile is amazing - I can only hope that Aidan will smile for the camera when we go for his 3y pics

    Renrel - Hugs to you - my 90yo grandfather passed away last spring so I can relate. For me the saddest part was watching my dad and his siblings. I do hope that your grandma is pain-free and at peace. I also thought about the fact that I will someday be dealing with this, but I cannot even let my mind go to my kids or my DH being in this situation.

    I can't remember, did we discuss Halloween costumes yet?
    I bought Aidan the police officer costume this weekend ( that he has been wanting for a couple of weeks) and Tuesday morning he told me that he wants to be a doctor Caitlin will be a frog (Aidan's costume from 2 years ago.)
    Alison
    Aidan-10/08/03 Caitlin-09/10/05
    "The joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed." unknown

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Boston suburb
    Posts
    4,556

    Default

    The phone rang around 7:30am and I knew what it had to be. My mom called. My grandmother passed this morning shortly after midnight. Mom told me that just before they had to rush her to the hospital she had her hair permed. My dad commented that she lived like a lady till the end. She had a DNR order but the assisted living home could not find it so the EMT put a tube in her in the ambulance and recessitated. My mother thought this was unfortunate since her last hours could have been less painful. But at the hospital they had a good doctor who told them he would do as they wished. They gave her a mophine drip to keep her comfortable and sat with her till the end.

    The funeral will either be tomorrow or Sunday. My little sister is vacationing in Jamacia, so they need to reach her and see how quickly she can get back. I am trying to figure out when we will go down, tonight or tomorrow. I will probably leave work early today to pack us up. Yom Kippor starts Sunday night which makes everything even harder. Fasting while mourning will be hard and it also makes it next to impossible for us to travel Sunday evening or Monday night. DH might not stay down as long as I will, depending on what kind of leave time he gets at his new job. He might leave Sunday during the day if the service is Tomorrow, but I think I will stay until Tuesday to give my Mom some support.

    I have not said anything to Gabe yet. Not sure what to say. He new his GG but not that well. We have pretty much shyed away from talking about death with him. When talking about relatives who have died before he was born we have just said they went away because they were very very old.

    I was late getting into work today, luckily I did not have a case first thing. I also forgot my purse at home with my cell phone, money, drivers licence and Work ID. Lucky no guards asked to see it at daycare or a work this morning.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Boston suburb
    Posts
    4,556

    Default

    I just checked my Union Contract and it looks like I am entitled to one day off for the funeral and 4 paid days of bereavement leave to be taken within 30 days. I need to think through what time I may need other than to sit shiva with my Mom.

    On a more cheerful note. Last night Gabe earned a yellow jelly bean by using the toilet instead of his potty but did so after lights out. No jelly beans after teeth brushing so I told him he could have it this morning. This morning the first words out of his mouth after maybe a minutes of nursing were "Wheres my yellow jelly bean?!?" One track mind this kids has.

    I have been thinking about how Gabe is suddenly sleeping in his crib again after we scolded him for coming out of his room after lights out because he did not want to sleep. By scold I mean we very firmly and sternly told him he had to stay in his room. We did not tell him he was bad or threaten to punish him or anything. When I have asked him why he is sleeping in his crib he tell me because he is afraid we will come. So I asked what he thinks will happen if we come. "You will take me out of my room." is his answer. Now that makes no sense of course, since he wants out of his room and we want him in his room. I have a feeling though that he is feeling a strong tug between what he wants to do - leave his room- and what he knows he is expected to do - stay in his room. I think being in his crib, which has walls to it and was a place he never left on his own, decreases the conflict between these two feelings because it makes it harder for him to leave his room. He also probably has some difficulty understanding that we and he want different things since he still seems think that depriving himself of one thing he wants will get us to give him the other things he wants. (You want give me a snack in the car so I am not going to listen to a song either!) So maybe that is part of the "fear" we will take him out of his room. His trying to get his head around another point of view than his own.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    2,376

    Default

    Renrel - I am so very sorry for your loss - your family will be in my thoughts!
    Alison
    Aidan-10/08/03 Caitlin-09/10/05
    "The joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed." unknown

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Boston suburb
    Posts
    4,556

    Default

    I just talked to my Mom and the funeral is grave side tomorrow at 2pm. We will drive down this evening and stay with my mom. The two cousin ages 4 and 4.5 are not attending because they are asking ackward questions no one is ready to answer. I hope Gabe is OK. I need to go home and pack and figure out if we are leaving before or after rush hour and when to pick Gabe up.

    If you all don't mind I would like to say a bit about my grandmothers life to get my thoughts in order.

    She was born in Russia where she lived in a dirt floor home. She had one older sister. Her father came to America on his own with the intent of bring his family over after he was settled. He met another woman and almost did not bring them over. The relative who sponsored him made him do right by his family and bring them over, but he did divorce my great grandmother. My great grandmother first brought herself and her daughters to Romania where they lived in a synague for awhile. My grandmother being young learned language quickly and helped her do shopping at the open market. She learned to negotiate a deal at a very early age. They eventual came over to America, I forget which port they entered but they did not come steerage as many did.
    She survived being a greenhorn as they called new immigrants in her neighborhood and the child of a divorcee. She studied bookkeeping and got a job which she managed to keep through the depression. I think she worked for a company that did promotional work, like free calendars. Getting clients and things like that. She learned about the stockmarket from a friend and learned to invest. She bought a two or three family brownstone and became a landlady. My mom did not like being the landladies daughter.
    She had two daughter and one son. The son was/is learning disabled. She miscarried twins. Her daughter grew up. My mom went to college and became a teacher. Both daughers married and are still married to the same men today. My mom had three daughter, my aunt a daughter and a son. All 5 of these grandchildren went to college and got degrees. All got married and are still married to the same spouse. Together they gave my grandmother 9 grandchildren ranging in age from under 6mths to around 9. The oldest are twins. My grandmother was married for more than 50 years before my grandfather passed away. She missed him greatly. After he passed my mother and aunt helped get my uncle into a half way home for learning disabled adult. My grandmother lived on her own until she was in her late 80's. She fell and hurt herself just before my wedding and my mother and aunt forced her to move to a wonderful assisted living community in their town, right next to where my mom works. She was not happy about the move and became ill. She ended up in a nursing home and my mom and aunt did not think she was going to recover. She was unable to attend my wedding. The only one of all the grandkids which she missed. I wore her engagement ring during the wedding ceremony. She did recover and has been very happy in her little apartment for the last 5 years. She has had reasonbly good health given her age. She enjoyed playing cards and other activities. Her health declined alot over the summer and my mom knew that this would be her last year with us, so when she passed last night it was not a suprise or a shock. My mom was expecting it. So my Grandmother had a long and full life. She was a fighter and a survivor. I share a birthday with her and I was named for her mother. I will carry a piece of her with me for the rest of my life and can only hope that I will have the strenth she did to survive the adversities that life brings so that I may live to enjoy the blessing it also brings.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    out of the loop...
    Posts
    2,358

    Default

    Renrel: I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. I think that our kids are at a strange age right now where they can't really grasp the concept of death, but they may be able to understand that they won't see the person anymore. We had a neighbor suddenly pass away over the winter, and while I think TJ knows that he won't see "Tom" anymore, he still talks about "Tom's house" (the kids play in the yard to this day because the new owners don't mind).
    1+1 (10/26/02)
    +1 (10/23/03) +1 (05/03/05) + 1 EDD 09/22/09!

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Boston suburb
    Posts
    4,556

    Default

    Any suggestions on how to talk to Gabe about this would be appreciated. I don't really want to say GG is sleeping because that could make sleep scary. I am not sure what to say if he asks what is going on grave side. The idea of a person being buried in a box is not one I want him dwelling on. But what can I say is happening that will make any sense?

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    1,067

    Default

    Renrel: I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. She sounds like she was a very strong woman- a great role model during a time when women often took a back seat to men. What a wonderful person to have in your life for so long.
    I wish I could give you some ideas for Gabe. I think this is a really tough age to discuss death- too old to just accept a simple explaination, and too young to really understand. Maybe you could just explain that when people get really old, their body doesn't work anymore. So a special part of them goes to live with God (if this is what you believe, of course) and they don't need their bodies anymore. That it's both a happy and sad time (so he's prepared for people to be upset) and that he'll get to talk about his grandmother a lot and remember all the good things he liked about her. Not sure if that's much help.

    This morning the first words out of his mouth after maybe a minutes of nursing were "Wheres my yellow jelly bean?!?"
    Don't they have amazing memories already! Mia doesn't forget anything- especially when it involves candy.

    Alison: So, are you changing A's costume? They'd be great dress up clothes if you do- so at least it won't go to waist. I'm going to buy Mia's care bear costume tomorrow- just enough time for her to change her mind too.

    kerrykate: Lauren looks so grown up. I love the picture. I pick up Mia's pictures tomorrow. The first comment out of DH's and my mouth when we saw the proofs was how old she looked. I almost wish I had put her hair in ponytails or something to make her look younger.

    The parties this weekend were crazy and good at the same time. Mia received tons of stuff. She LOVES the digital camera we bought her. I think it's made by fisher price for ages 3+. She picked up on how to use it in about 5 minutes and takes pictures of everything (furniture, people, animals, the wall). She still has a little difficulty getting people in the middle of the frame and cuts a lot of heads off, but it's been great. My ILs bought her an electric car- I'm not crazy about it, but so far she really likes it. Although, I hope she learns to drive a little better by the time she hits 16.

    Mia had her 3 year appt today. She's 35 inches tall and 26 pounds with clothes on . 25th percentile for both.

    I had a few questions about Ayla while we were there. She's been having mucus and bits of blood in her diapers. I cut out dairy products about a month ago and some things improved (her eczema cleared up within a week), but she still is really gassy and uncomfortable- plus I guess the mucus and blood are a form of diahhrea in infants. She's also had pure water bowel movements fairly frequently. The doc wants me to cut out all dairy, soy, wheat, eggs, nuts and seafood for 2 weeks and then gradually add them back in to see what might be causing the problem. UGH. I thought giving up dairy was tough. I have no idea what to eat now besides fruits, veggies, chicken, pork and turkey (apparently beef can cause a problem if dairy does too, so he also recommended cutting that for now). This should be interesting.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    nh
    Posts
    659

    Default

    Renrel: I am so sorry about your grandmother. I wouldn't even know where to begin discussing death with our kids. Honestly, I don't think jake would get it but Gabe is so well-spoken and seems to understand a lot more so maybe he would understand more.

    This is something I worry about too all the time. My grandma will be 95 on tuesday and we are having a huge party next sunday. She has always insisted on not having a huge party b/c she thinks that is old ladies way of saying goodbye. But she keeps inviting more people - we are up to 60. She has not been sick, lives by herself but I think this is her way of getting everyone together 1 more time to say good bye. Sounds very morose, I know, but just a feeling I have. Makes me very sad but she has lived a very long, healthy life. Hopefully, I am wrong.

    Kerry: What a beautiful picture!! We are having the boys pictures done on Saturday. I really hope I get at least 1 good one of all 3 together.

    The babies start daycare with Jake on Monday. I feel so guilty about them leaving their daycare provider. She is so upset. I know the babies are going to miss her too.
    Missy & Steve 11/9/02
    Jacob 10/07/03
    Matthew & Samuel 7/1/05

Similar Threads

  1. October 2003 Moms and Kids III
    By tgr68 in forum Big Kid Groups
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 10-03-2011, 04:07 PM
  2. J/A/S 2003 Moms and Kids
    By LyLMyssChaos in forum Big Kid Groups
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-27-2009, 01:55 PM
  3. April May June 2003 Moms and Kids
    By Kellymb75 in forum Big Kid Groups
    Replies: 503
    Last Post: 05-16-2008, 08:02 AM
  4. October 2003, Mom and Kids
    By Renrel in forum Big Kid Groups
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-01-2007, 03:20 PM
  5. October 2003 Moms and Kids
    By AlisonCO in forum Big Kid Groups
    Replies: 999
    Last Post: 09-21-2006, 09:03 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •