Quote Originally Posted by TLynnCould it be jealousy over something? Did her changes in life lead her to a new group of friends?[/I
It doesn't seem as though she wants to be honest with why she no longer wants the friendship she had with you (not to mention now being SIL's on top of it!) it's probably for the best. [/FONT]
Ah, you've hit the nail on the head. I didn't want to go into a bunch of detail before but this is pretty much a HUGE part of the situation. We only started being friends because I was dating her brother, but we had a lot in common.

Things were pretty rocky in my life for awhile. DH (who was my boyfriend at the time) and I were fighting a lot. For a while he didn't treat me very nice and she was a perfect friend (and might I add, had eager ears) throughout the whole time. My job wasn't going so hot, my family was driving me crazy, and I lived in a tiny little apartment because I didn't have much money. In all my misery she was a perfect friend. To my knowlede I didn't abuse her friendship. I was all the time thanking her, sending her little cards, and doing fun stuff with her. She was a definate bright spot for me during that time.

THEN, my DH shaped up and we were happy, happy, happy. My job situation turned around and things were getting better financially. I started my own business which was exciting for me. We bought a cute fixer upper and did well with it. I was even getting a handle on dealing with my family. In short, things were fantastic and as a best friend she should have been thrilled that I wasn't so sad anymore.

And THAT'S when she stopped being my friend.

We did have one little spat in there. One of the other SIL's upset me and I tried to talk about it with DH's sister. She refused to talk because she didn't want to get caught in the middle of a family squabble. It hurt my feelings because she was my best friend and I expected to be able to talk to her. But after thinking about it I could see it from her side. I quickly apologized for putting her in an akward position and she seemed to accept it. I now get along perfectly with that SIL. Maybe that bugs her?

When I found out she was expecting I called her twice and left messages congratulating her. She didn't return either calls. That was pretty hurtful to me since I considered her a best friend and sister. She blamed her pregnancy hormones and loss of job for her attitude switch and of course I believed her and thought, "well, now it's my turn to be a good friend to her." And I extended myself to her.

But she didn't want anything to do with me and instead focused on her other friends. Most of whom were preg. or already had kids. I could accept that since I had nothing to offer her in that area. But she just stopped being friendly to me. She had a baby shower and refused to invite her SIL's telling us that it was only for "friends". Well, I thought I was her friend. I could list many other things that she's done that I consider hurtful.

Well, now I live in the same town as her and would love to have everything be the way it was. But in order for that to happen I guess I have to start having problems with DH, stop fixing up my new house and make sure my business bombs. Or maybe when I have a kid I will be worthy enough to socialize with again. Who knows?

Being around her is like having to work with an ex-boyfriend who dumped you unceromoniously but you still have to be nice to him around the boss. It's confusing and sad. And it pisses me off.