Advice regarding family situation, please.

[christy1010]

My sister and family are moving from the Chicago area to the Washington, DC area at the end of July. We have know this was coming since the beginning of June.

The majority of the time the only way I hear about what is going on with my sister is through my mom.

My sister has bi-polar disorder and I don't know if this is why she does not communicate with me or not. I try to give her space yet at the same time I also try to communicate with her in some form. Most of the time by e-mail or letter, sometimes on Facebook, and sometime by phone. Usually I get no response. I still can for her and her family though.

Back in May I had asked my sister if there was any possibility that we could try to get together in July to celebrate my mom's 75th birthday. I have not heard anything and then with the upcoming move I figured okay I have to be realistic that they have a lot of stress, but they will see us before they move.

I called my sister at the end of June to let her know I was thinking of her and asked her if there was any way we could get together before they moved? I heard from my sister on Sunday July 1st. We talked and she was getting ready to hang up and I again asked her if there was any possibility we could get together before they moved, she said yes how about the weekend of July 14-15.

I get a phone call from my mom on July 4th that things with my sister and very stressful and I have to understand where they are coming from and it would be better to have them see us as they drive out to Washington, DC. Okay, I can be flexible. The call last night was that they could come on Tuesday July 31, but would not be able to come with my 16 year old nephew who would be at a worktrip in St. Louis and they are picking him up on Aug. 1st and then going to Washington DC.

I am sad and angry that I will not be able to see my nephew before they move.

This is where I need advice: Am I justified in having the feelings I do?
Should I communicate these feelings or let them go, and accept that life is not fair?

Thanks in advance.

[Pookie]

I'm not understanding if you're in the Chicago area or if you live in another city that your sister would have to drive, too? If you live in Chicago, I think it would be reasonable to expect to see your sis before she leaves. Whatever way is best for her, i.e. you take lunch to her and help her pack, etc or invite her over for dinner.
If you live in a different area from your sis, then I can see how it might not be possible to see her before she goes. They say a move is one of the 5 biggest stressors in life.
OK, so I just re-read your post. You are getting to see your sis, just not your nephew? They pick him up right before moving, so it would seem that timing-wise it's not possible to see him? Maybe you could plan a trip to see her and her family when they are settled?

[karlatta]

Can you plan a time to hang out with just your nephew in his own? It sounds like he's old enough that he can sort of make his own plans. Maybe he has an evening free and you can take him out to dinner?

[dragonfly_71]

Based on the info provided I can't say if your feelings are justified or not. I don't know where you are located and what your options would have been to go see your sister at their current home. One of the questions I had while reading this was why your sister has to come to you and why you can't go see her. Also, I don't know how close you are to your nephew and what other options you might have to see him. The reason why I'm saying that is because DH has a bunch of teenage nieces/nephews and while we are both very fond of them, neither of us is upset if we don't get to see them every time we get together. Most of the time we don't know ahead of time if they are coming along because they may make last minute plans with their friends or something else may come up. It sounds like there is a lot more to the story than is captured in your post so it's really hard to say.