I use Flickr for everything and think it has good privacy control. I set all my pics to family only and limit my family to well, my family and closest friends. When I want to share with others, I create a group and then you get a sharing code for that group only. I can still link to private pics here but on Facebook, I can only post the code. I can't say if others can copy or link the pictures. They do not need a Flickr account to use the link. And you can set the sharing link to expire or simply unshared them.
I've never had problems with Flickr so I've never tried anything else. However, I don't like their photo book site so I double upload pics to shutterfly and make my books there.