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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Eagle Creek, OR
    Posts
    6,069

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    That's a good link Allegra, thanks for posting it. We haven't had a lot in the way of reproductive questions here, but I have had to talk to DD about being appropriate and when it's not ok to be touching yourself, and when it IS ok. Basically, learning appropriate exploritory behavior, if that makes sense. My Mom has major hangups about nakedness and sex and bodies in general and I grew up with a very acute sense of shame over anything remotely sexual, and I do NOT want that for DD. I have simply let DD know that it is only appropriate to touch yourself in the bathroom, or in her bedroom "in private", and that she can always aske me questions of she needs too. She did ask me for the first time the other day what her vagina was for (or her "other hole" as she put it before I told her the correct word), but the simple answer from above was all she needed.
    Good judgement comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad judgement. -From a bumper sticker I saw once

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Metrowest Boston
    Posts
    7,518

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    DD knows that it takes a boy and a girl to make a baby - we haven't gone as far as talking about sperm and eggs yet. We have the second books listed above as it was written by a family friend (there are 3 books for various ages). I read it to DD about a year ago and when it came to sex (I think it just mentioned a mommy and daddy loving each other) she didn't ask any questions. She has a 2-mommy family in her class but the boy was adopted, but we've used that family as an example to talk about all different types of families. She knows that she and DS were cut out of my tummy but that most babies come out of your vagina. I guess she told my mom the other day that she was never going to have a baby because some girl at school told her that it hurt a lot to have the baby come out.

    We are very open with nakedness in our family, though me more than DH. My parents were the same. DD and DS have some facination about their different body parts, but more facination about what theirs will look like when they are older.

    DD has definitely been asking questions when she sees my tampons, but I have pretty much brushed it off - I think I've said a few times that it was so I know i don't have a baby in my tummy and she's never pressed for more information (she has no clue that tampons are for blood) and I don't plan on discussing that for quite a while.
    J&D - May 2005 *** E - 8/7/06 *** J - 3/17/09

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    680

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    We might talk about it again soon, we'll see. If #3 is a boy, it will (I'm sure) lead to discussions about boy parts and girl parts. And ODD will want to help with diaper changes, so she'll SEE the parts.
    Yeap. I have 2 girls and 1 boy (8, 6, 2). It's inevitable that they are going to ask questions. I was very comfortable with using the correct terminology. I remember lmao when DD1 said "I wish I had one", thinking to myself me too (it's a man's world sometimes) and I hope we don't have this conversation again in 10 years (thinking gender identity issues*). I didn't get into the whole reproduction thing yet, they seemed satisfied with me saying that God makes girls and boys. They both are enthusiastic about helping him with his baths and even changing his diaper if he just pees, and potty-training.

    Tampons- I usually lock the door b/c I don't want to explain it yet. Either DD1 or DD2 asked me what that was when I took it out of the box. I just said something to the effect of something girls have to deal with when they're older. My BFF's friend caught her DD trying to insert one when she was about 2 or so.

    She also knows an awful lot about how babies get out of the body, because we have a no-lying policy with her. We make sure we answer her questions in the simplest way, and try not to make a big deal out of it. Of course it's hard to not over-react when she says she thinks a baby is coming out of her vagina.
    I've watched too many baby shows in front of them. DD2 absolutely loves baby shows and frequently asks if we can watch a baby show. DD1 thinks it's gross. They know that dr's help get the babies out and they usually come out through the vagina, but sometimes they're not able to and the dr has to cut the tummy and get the babies out. I've given a few reasons why they have to get them out of the tummies vs the vaginas.

    Last week, DD2 took off the bottom part of her bikini and was jumping on the trampoline. I freaked out w/o really thinking first and yelled. I told her that she is NEVER supposed to be outside w/o clothing. DH was out of town at the time, but I told him about it when he returned. I knew he had said something to them b/c they started very enthusiastically pointing to their "privates". I do honestly defer this stuff to him b/c I think that the girls respond better to him. He makes them wear shorts under their dresses.

    Everything I learned came from school or friends, my mom never talked to me about anything including my period. I don't want that. I want to have open conversations with my children. DH is more the enforcer of modesty. I do think that having a good father or mother figure who cares enough to say you're not leaving the house dressed like that, is very important. My father was this person. I've always been incredibly shy of my body. I've always dressed very modestly. I feel that I was brought up in a too ashamed environment, and there has to be a happy medium. I was embarrassed to even announce my pregnancies.

    A couple of weeks ago, me and my friend were actually talking about the "birds and the bee" talk. Her DS (11,12?) is going through puberty and I asked her when schools start teaching this. She said 7th grade, which surprised me b/c kids are entering puberty and having sex at a younger age than when I was a child. I was taught in 5th grade. I remember a classmate who started her period at age 9 and she shared her experiences with the class.

    I'll have to check out those books. I definitely need help on this subject.

    *I do feel badly for these children and the parents of these children. I would support my child, but hearing "I feel like a boy trapped in a girl's body" or "I'm gay" would be very hard.
    Last edited by poodlelover; 05-07-2012 at 12:27 PM.
    Madeline Elizabeth - 01.23.04
    Savannah Ruth - 11.26.05 (VBAC1)
    Caleb Joseph - 08.27.09 (VBAC2!)

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    5,798

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    This thread has been interesting to read. Just last week, my 3-year-old girls noticed that their nearly 18-months-old brother had different parts. It's funny because the four of us (my DDs, DS and me) bathe together every time they get a bath or shower and they *just* now noticed that he was different.

    One of my DDs said, "Look, brother had two belly buttons!" I guess I could have left it alone but I explained to them that he had a penis. They repeated it a few times then I told them about their parts. Then they wanted to know what daddy had. A few times since then they've said out of the blue, "Brother had an enis and I have a gina." Well, close enough I guess!
    Loving my DDs and DS

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