18 month old watching T.V. (or Videos) while Eating

[sparkesq]

My 18 month old has become a bad eater (of solid foods) in the last few months. But she LOVES her milk. I've tried reducing milk (15 oz per day), and only give it after she's eaten some solids, but that didn't really help either. Recently, out of exasperation, lack of time and exhaustion, I will let her watch T.V. or a video while she eats. It's the only way to get her to sit still and get some solids in her mouth and to avoid a mealtime that lasts forever!! I get home from work at 6 and she is asleep by 8 so in that time, DH and I need to get her fed and ready for bed and it's a major struggle/production to get her to eat. I've read that allowing t.v. watching while eating promotes "unconscious eating" and that's not good. She doesn't watch T.V. during mealtimes at daycare but only goes 2 times a week. The other 3 days per week when my parents watch her, they let her watch T.V. while she eats too. On the weekends, it varies because we may be out. But at restaurants, we sometimes let her watch videos on her phone while she eats. Am I creating a monster or is this really not a big deal? Other than when she's eating, she doesn't watch a lot of T.V. and has lots of other outdoor/indoor activities.

[laura]

If that is the only way you can get her to eat, yes I think that is or could be a problem. My DD will occasionally watch a show on the weekend while she eats her breakfast or lunch, but the majority of her meals are eaten with us at the table w/ no TV. She doesn't get to watch shows on the phone, etc while we are out at all. My DD is very much a creature of habit though so we often find when we are lax about something 1 time, she wants to always do it. So for example we *never* have the TV on for dinner b/c I don't want to have that battle every night. Same with the iPhone at restaurants- I don't even bring it out as an option b/c I don't want to have to argue with her every time about it.

Our Ped is big on no TV while eating, she gave us a big lecture about it and on the issues that unconscious eating creates- she's a bit uptight about kid/food issues, to be honest.

ETA: WRT the milk, I had this issue with my DD before too. I started giving only water with meals when I realized she was just filling up on milk and not eating her food. At daycare, they get alternating milk/water throughout the day. At home, DD gets one cup of milk when she wakes up (which she often doesn't finish) and then rarely does she get more milk later in the day. I give water with meals and occasionally she will ask for milk with her snack when she wakes up from her nap, which I'll give if she asks. If she doesn't ask for milk, I give water. I never take milk out with us, I always take a cup of water, it's just easier. I never thought my DD would not be a milk-a-holic but she is actually fine with water 99% of the time now and she rarely asks for milk. Or if she does (often when she's tired) and I say I'm going to get her water instead, she is fine with it.

[sparkesq]

Thanks Laura - I would say more than 50% of the time, I have to turn on the t.v. or video to get her to eat. I know this is very bad. Everyone keeps telling me that she'll eat when she's hungry so maybe the resolution is to cut back even more on milk and snacks. I follow the AAP book and in there it says, 3 meals and 2 snacks per day and milk with each so maybe I will have to cut out either the milk or snack during snack time. It feels weird to reduce her food intake when she's not eating much, but it seems like that's the only way she'll be hungry at meal times.

[jesseybell]

I do not think it is a good idea to do it if the only reason you are doing it is so she will eat. My kids do eat breakfast in front of the tv - on the weekends it is on the couch while they are watching tv. In the morning it is at a table in our bedroom, but the tv is the news and the kids really aren't watching it. They do tend to ask for more food on the weekends, but I do not give them any additional breakfast.

Our pediatrician is also very anti eating with the tv on. He gave us a whole pamplet about how all meals should be at the table.

[Hello Kitty]

I agree with the above, I don't think that's the kind of habit you want to set because you're actually fostering that she eats mindlessly. Toddlers are stubborn. They'll also eat when they're hungry I would offer her food and if she doesn't want it, don't push it. She might be more excited to see you and want to eat a little bit later than what time you're offering it. Another suggestion is you could ask your DCP limit snacks or not offer them at a certain time, like at 2:30 and then no more food until dinner. That might be tough to break with your parents though...

And want to say we're not a no-TV/no-PC house, we waited more until 22/23 months, but DS watches some things.

[looch]

We've only ever done water with meals, my ped and husband don't believe in drinking milk with meals, but this is Europe, which has different food sensibilities. You just don't see kids drinking a lot of milk, which was an adjustment for me.

WRT to the TV, you sound like you know you're going down a slippery slope. For me, family mealtime is our time together, which means no TV. When I am home alone feeding DS, the TV may be on, but it's not a program for him and I turn his high chair away from the TV. There's no way he'll get a phone to even touch because he's so messy, but again, that's something that my husband and I also model for him. No phones for anyone at the table. I kind of look at it like this, I don't want to be those parents that go over to a friends home for dinner and have to plop our son and his bottle of ketchup on their coffee table while the rest of us sit at the table. It's fine if someone else wants to do that, but for me, it's not acceptable. Starting with just a few videos or TV gives the kids the control, which then can be hard to "take back." Just my 2 cents.

[sparkesq]

Ugh, Now I feel really bad because she often doesn't sit in her booster (which has straps) when she eats and runs around and makes little pit stops for bites of food. I know, this is really really bad. I'm gong to put a stop to this tonight!!!!

[laura]

I was just thinking this morning (DD is now 26 months) that I'm surprised how much less my DD even chooses to snack now. I did the same basic 3 meals and 2 snacks, but I didn't ever reduce snacks and she was off and on kind of a grazer which did mean she ate less at meals sometimes. I tried to make the snacks mostly healthy options, but my DD loves cheerios so she ate plenty of those (and only those). Now I always bring a snack with us when we are out, but she rarely wants to eat it. I have thrown out more snacks recently than DD has eaten which I never thought would happen b/c she is (was) a huge snacker. So what I'm saying is, do your best, but this too shall pass, most likely.

We WOH too and I can sympathize w/ how much evenings suck when every meal is a battle. I don't MAKE DD eat if she doesn't want to (although I do say why don't you eat your xyz about 97000 times at each meal), but I do make her sit with us at the table until we are finished. She doesn't always want to, but she learned pretty quickly that there are no other options. I just say over and over that she doesn't have to eat, but she does have to sit and wait while everyone else eats. Repeat. Infinity.

[sparkesq]

Maybe this post belongs in a different thread, but DD is 18 months and 25 pounds and this is what she eats, what should I cut out to get her to be hungry at breakfast, lunch and dinner?
3 ounces of milk 10 minutes after waking up
dry cereal and MAYBE 1 or 2 bites of (banana, egg or other breakfast). Lately, I don't bother because she won't eat
A.M. SNACK - 2.5 ounces of Milk and cheerios or yogurt
LUNCH - 3 ounces of milk plus lunch entree
AFTER NAP (about 2:30) - fruit and crackers
3:30 - 4 ounces of milk
5:00 - raisins
6:30 - dinner to 3 ounces of milk

[laura]

I would probably stop milk with meals and offer it at other times. I wouldn't necessarily cut out anything you are doing though, I might just change it. For example my DD doesn't like to eat right when she wakes up (like me). She will often nibble on cheerios or something but it can take her a full hour or more to actually say she's hungry for food. When she wakes up, I give her a cup of milk, maybe 8oz, and a small bowl of cheerios. About 30-40 minutes later I ask her if she wants a waffle (or something). If she says yes, then I will fix it for her. If she says no, then I pack up her breakfast and send it to daycare. She will eat it immediately when she arrives, but it has been probably 2 hours since she woke up.

If I were you I would probably try to just relax the full schedule in general and let her start to guide you to when she is hungry. I would reduce the milk offerings but increase the quantity. Water with meals. And see what happens.