1+1= Done!

[Grenouille]

This is the place where we can talk about why we enjoy having 2 kids, and won't be having more.

I have two kids and I am done. It took me a while to get to the point where I was OK with it, and really it is a decision that was forced on me, but the older my kids get the happier I am that there are only 2 of them. I still love babies, I miss holding them, I miss being pregnant, I wish I could have a million babies... in theory. But knowing how much attention they need (they seem to need just as much if not more attention now as elementary age kids) and how much running around I have to do, and how little one-on-one time I get with each of them (divorced so I can't hand one off to the other parent-I have either both or none), and I know for sure that my kids would suffer if there were more of them.

[Red'sGirl]

2 and DONE! I do NOT like being pregnant, as I always have 10 months of MS. And since I got my one of each - thereby doing my part in keeping the ILs name alive, I am happily done. DS potty trained at 2 1/2 and I am so glad that we don't have to buy diapers anymore! I'm looking forward to them being a bit older, so they can do a bunch of cool stuff (like visiting cousins for the summer and sleep away camp). I do love babies, and I'll cherish whenever I get to hold someone else's. And I'll giggle when I get to hand that baby back!

[LeslieR]

I was only 98% sure we were done, but DH was 100%. He got a vasectomy last year. I mourned the third child we would never have a little, but ultimately I knew being a family of four is perfect for us. Honestly, I find two difficult. I cannot even imagine a third. I feel like we're just getting into the homestretch here. DS1 will be in first grade this year and DS2 will be going to preschool. Another baby would be like starting all over again. Ack! I think the day I knew for sure that was the right decision for us was the day I watched my friend's baby for her while she went to a doctor's appt. It was all good for the first hour and then she started to cry. I walked around for an hour shhhhshing, holding her in real tight, bouncing her, and patting her but until she finally fell asleep. Then DS2 woke her up. Rinse, lather, repeat. It was like I stepped back in time to when DS2 was a baby and DS1 was the toddler. I seriously could not wait for my friend to come pick up that baby! lol I do love and miss babies, don't get me wrong, but I'm going to leave that to SIL and BIL who don't yet have any kids. Hopefully I'll be able to get my fix that way!

[MichelleRenee]

My DS is 4.5yo and my DD is 2.5yo. I didn’t know if we would ever want a second child, but we decided we did, and things have just felt so *right* since DD was born. There are so many things I love about pregnancy and newborns, but since DD was born I have just dreaded the thought of actually going back to those stages again. There are also silly things that push me away from having a third. For example, both of mine were born on the 27th of the month, and both were born on their due dates. I am very Type A, so I love that synchronicity! Chances are a third would not fall into "the pattern."

My two are so different from each other that there is no one particular age that I don’t like. Many people say 3s and 4s are harder than terrible 2s, but that was never true for DS, and he has been great as a 3yo and a 4yo. (although 18mo – 2.5yo was a rougher time for him). DD is now 2.5yo and she never went through the terrible 2s – has always been super sweet and very mild-tempered. Maybe she will be the rough 3-4yo in our family – only time will tell! (She certainly was a bit needy as an infant….) So there isn’t a certain age that I particularly love or hate – but I have enjoyed our diaper-free lifestyle since DD started using the potty, and I am glad to be done with bottles and sippy cups.

Our lives have also changed a LOT since DD was born. DH has started a business and I am working my way through law school right now. As our current family of four we have found balance and things are actually going very smoothly, considering how busy we are. Having another baby right now, especially considering the fact that it would be ME who would be pregnant, would really throw a wrench into things. There is no doubt that a surprise third would be welcomed into our family, and would be loved - but it would be a very hard adjustment.

[amew]

We have an almost 4 yo DS and a 15 month old DS and are trying to decide whether to go for a third child. I have posted in the three kids thread and am interested in hearing the other side. There are many, many reasons that I feel like we should stop at two, yet I don't have the " our family is complete, we are definitely done " feeling that I hear so many people describe. I don't feel like our family is incomplete by any means-- I just lack any certainty on this front and find myself thinking constantly about the possibility of one more baby.

For those who were once on the fence about a third and are glad you didn't go there ( or wish you had), please share!

[Tracie]

Two and we're through!

We've always said that we only wanted two kids and now that we have our two, we really feel that a family of four is right for us. Many MANY people ask me, "Don't you want a little girl?" and the truth is, I would have loved one, but two is good. (Plus, you know if we had a third child just to try to get a girl, it would certainly be another boy!) I find it hard to make sure that each of us parents get quality one-on-one time with each child on a regular basis, I can't imagine doing it with three children. Plus there are practical concerns as well - finances, the size of our house. We have a three-bedroom house and there's no way my boys would do well in a shared room.

[jodylovesscotty]

Going through IUI and IVF, we thought we would be one and done. We sold every single baby item we owned. Not 2 weeks after everything was out if my house, surprise #2! I thought for sure that it was next to impossible to have another and we agreed no more fertility drugs for us. After having DD#2, we have done everything in our power except for making it permanent to not have a surprise #3. The only way I would ever have a 3rd us if I could definitely have a boy and even then I would probably still be on the fence as I had 9 months of sickness both times as well as daily shots of Lovenox in my stomach. I am happy with my beautiful girls!

[taffers]

Only two here (once #2 is born)! We thought we were one and done, but we had 2 frozen embryos left over that we never thought would work. Even if I could get pregnant naturally, I don't think I'd ever consider having three.

Question: Did anyone only want one or think they were having one and then end up having two? It seems like most people want two and debate the third, but being that we thought we were only having one, I'm very scared to have two. I find one difficult, and she is easy, and DH helps a TON. Tell me I'll survive! They will be 27 months apart.

[shimmerstar]

I don't have the definite "we're done" feeling, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that we will never plan another child. If we had an unplanned third, I would be mostly fine with it. Dh would be upset because he is certain that he only wants two. Our youngest is 17 months and our oldest is 4.5. They have both been very rambunctious and difficult to "tame", and #2 is much needier than his brother was. After a difficult second pregnancy, two c/s, and considering the fact that I have type 1 diabetes, I do not really want to be pregnant again. Some days I can almost convince myself that I want another one though. I miss the anticipation, choosing the names, feeling them kick, etc. Them kicking me from the outside isn't the same.

Then reality hits, and they are going crazy, and I am so happy that we only have two. I am excited for the baby to get a little bit older so we can do fun family activities without constantly chasing him down. Our house is the perfect size for us, and another one would be a tight squeeze. #1 starts K next year, and we are excited to be paying for only one in daycare again. We have enough money now, but with a third, things would be tight. Also, they are both awful sleepers and it took my older son four years to sttn consistently. Those are all things that could be overcome if I really wanted another one, but I don't want to start all over.

We recently adopted a kitten, and it has shown me how much I could not handle a third kid. I know a cat is not a child, but he often jumps into the fray and makes everything more stressful. I can't imagine another little one joining in the ruckus!

[maniach]

We have two and we are through. Partially because DH doesn't want to roll the dice on three girls and partially because my doctor gently cautioned me against another birth (gently in the hospital and less gently later on when I saw her socially - she's good friends with a coworkers wife). Sometimes I wish we would have another, but I HATE being pregnant, so I really don't want to do that again. Plus, #2 is a holy terror (sometimes) and I really just can't imagine having to deal with her and another one just like her, lol. Maybe we'll talk about adopting someday, if we could get a boy, but I'm just not sure that I would want to do that, and I don't think DH would be up for it either. We're starting to get old! LOL.