My mom is finally filing for divorce from her abusive husband. He's an alcoholic and a drug addict and they've been married for 7 years, together for 12. She's filed a permanent restraining order against him which also includes their daughter.
She had a prenuptial done when they got married. However, she bought and paid for a vacation house in which they bought with her money (he hasn't worked in years). Long story short she wants to "gift" me the house and put it in my name so he wouldnt be able to get the house. Apparently he's "threatening" to get the house scott-free. There's no mortgage on the house. What kind of issues may come up later for me? We are trying to sell our current home to buy a new one...would that affect me in any way? Like I said the house is paid off. I want to do it for her but only if it doesn't and won't affect me negatively in any way. And could he come after me and my family (in a legal sense) for the house?
I know I may have to call a lawyer but I can't get ahold of DH and thought maybe someone would have some insight.
Even if only her name is on the title, it still may be considered "marital property". If I were you, I wouldn't get involved at this point in time. It would only bring in stress and headaches.
Regardless of whether he worked or not, in most states, it's not "her" money, it's still "their" money. It's like saying you have no money as a SAHM, it's all your DH's (and none of us agree with that right!).
I agree to just stay out of it. She should work with her lawyer on all of this and not have you involved.
I'm thinking if they are already in divorce proceedings, then she may not be able to legally quick deed any property. And like the others said -even though it was bought with her $$ if they were married at the time of purchase it is theirs.
I think it's good advice to stay out of it, if he's alcoholic & abusive, it's probably best to not be involved. You never know what sort of things he may do to be vengeful.
Yeah she isn't doing anything until she consults her lawyer. She just wanted to know if I'd do it (hypothetically).
Another aspect of this situation is that she bought and paid off the current house in which she resides before they were married. In turn she borrowed against that house to buy and pay for the vacation house (after they were married). Since the prenuptial states any money she had prior to marriage was "her" money wouldnt that also include the vacation house since she used "her" money that she had prior to marriage to buy the house in the first place?
Your mom needs to consult with her lawyer before making any major transfers of property in the middle of a divorce proceeding.
This.
Having been through a divorce, and seeing many friends through one as well, I've seen/heard a ton of stories like this. It is very typical for one partner to make threats, usually about custody ("I'll sue you for sole custody! I'll prove to everyone how crazy you are! You'll never see the kids!") but property threats are common too ("I worked my ass off to pay for that house, you're not going to get one cent of the money I make when it sells!"). The threats are a scare tactic and/or a show of anger, meant to threaten or intimidate the other person into submission. Usually they have no merit once all is said and done, but that's for the lawyers to decide. Your mom should consult with her lawyer about the house, and not take any action without legal consult.
We cross-posted.
In regards to your mom's property etc., honestly I don't think anyone here can answer what should happen. Family law varies widely by state, and even within a state judges rule differently on each case based on the circumstances. Your mom should be asking her lawyer these questions, not asking you (unless you are a practicing family lawyer who is representing her). When I was going through a divorce, my mom was dating a former divorce lawyer who practiced in another state. He was constantly giving me advice, but it was based on his state, so when I presented his suggestions to my lawyer I was pretty much told "That's not how it works here".
ETA: I reread my post, and it sounds like I am being dismissive. I totally know how stressful and scary situations like this are. I know that all too well, unfortunately. But I know that being given conflicting advice adds more stress, and can cause more frustration. I just think it is best for your mom to get her input from the one source that likely has the most accurate advice for her situation, so she acts accordingly. I know you want to help her and support her, and there are other ways to do that.
Last edited by Grenouille; 06-13-2011 at 09:18 AM.
Since the prenuptial states any money she had prior to marriage was "her" money wouldnt that also include the vacation house since she used "her" money that she had prior to marriage to buy the house in the first place?
Again, this is a question for your mom's lawyer, not an online message board. I'm not trying to be rude, just there is no way for someone to accurately interpret what her prenup says and how it works via the internet.
Sticky situation...need advice
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Originally Posted by MrsD
