It's been awhile, and I can't totally remember who gives gifts to whom. I remember the bride and groom give gifts to the groomsmen and bridesmaids, and they may get the bride & groom a group gift, too. Then there are the shower and wedding gifts.
At a bachelor or bachelorette party, are the guests also expected to chip in for a large gift for the bride or groom?
We just got invites for this kind of thing, and it mentioned wanting to buy an expensive gift so bring money for that, in addition to paying your own way (it's an event, not drinking) plus the X amount of money to cover the bride or groom's way. It surprised me, because I thought that was more the wedding party's job. I don't remember guests having to buy so many gifts, is this new or just unusual?
I think simply attending the bachelor/bachelorette party and paying the bride/groom's way is gift enough. These things have gotten so elaborate these days, with plane tickets and hotel stays, etc. I don't think a present should be required on top of it.
OK, so it's not just me thinking that was a bit much. Especially when it's a small wedding and the handful of people at this party are expected to chip in for a new electronic gadget as a gift.
Of course, knowing that doesn't help because how do you tell the host, "sure, I'll pay for the groom's/bride's way, but I'm not giving extra for a gift?" I'll probably just spend slightly less on the wedding gift.
Wow, things are really getting out of hand. I would tell the host that I'd pass on the gift unless that's supposed to be the wedding gift from the whole group. My guess is you aren't the only one feeling this way. Do you know others attending you could talk to. Honestly, I'd claim budget reason. "I'm thrilled to be invited and happy to pitch in for the bride's way but I really can't afford to pitch in on the gift. If that's a problem, I'll have to pass on the invitation." and then leave it to them to decide.
Wow - yeah, I'm with you. I've been to bachelorette parties where there is a lingire (how the HELL do you spell that word???) party if you want to participate. Some go nice, some go super trashy - whatever. I honestly don't think I'd chip in on a mandated big gift. I'd cover some of the cost for the bride/groom to be and whatever I spent on the night.