Well I"m gonna get flamed for this, but Tracy, maybe thats what your daughter needed to stop the hitting. I don't think slapping her hand and yelling no at her has done anymore than maybe shocked her into realizing that you mean it when you tell her that hitting people shouldn't be done. If you've tried other things and they aren't working, and a 20 month old should no to NOT do that by now, then maybe its what she needed, just this once, even if it's something that happened just because you were at the end of your rope. You are NOT a bad mother, so don't beat yourself up too badly!
Let's see, do I have any confessions?
I haven't been a very good daughter the past year and a half since my mom died. I don't call my dad very often, mostly because of my procrastination. I want to call, I think about it, I think about sending cards for things, and then I don't. I have started calling more often now, but I still feel horrible for not keeping in touch with him. I have tons of excuses, he's deaf, hates to talk on the phone, doesn't do email, etc, but they are just that, excuses and I just need to get off my butt and make sure he gets cards and phone calls from me more often.