This is a thread for ladies who have experienced a miscarriage. It's a place to discuss our emotions, struggles, and successes. If you have experienced, or are currently experiencing a miscarriage, we hope you will join us. This is a place to talk openly while also offering comfort and encouragement.
This thread goes in cycles--those with more time past the m/c come out to support new members, and as the EDD's for the older members approach, it is the newer members who in turn lend their support.
Your threadmistress: MrsSpencer and NicoleWisconsin
If you would like to be added to this thread then please post your stats in red.
Also, if you have any links that have helped you, feel free to post those and we will add them.
It's hardest to say good-bye, when you never got a chance to say hello
No matter how many children I live to have, it will always be one less than I want
Allison78
Me: Allison, 30
DH: Shawn, 32
DD: Clara, 2
M/C: Found out at 8 wks, no h/b on U/S, still waiting for m/c to occur....
Bellefior
Me: S, 40
DH: 39
M/C:discovered during scan at 11w5d, followed by D & E
most likely due to genetic factors, awaiting test results to determine cause
bethnjim
me: beth, 30
DH: jim, 28
Married: July 2003
TTC: May 2007
BFP: October 2008
loss of baby: November 6 2008, 7w, ectopic pregnancy, treated with methotrexate given by a shot in the butt...
Blondie
Lori (35) and John (42)
MC 1: Oct 2007 (wasn't charting don't know how far along I was)
MC 2: Jan 2008 (same as above-not charting)
MC 3: July 2008 (5w 6d)
No "known" issues at this point-waiting on test results and appt with RE
bug
Me: Kate
DH: AJ
Married since: 12/30/04
M/C: On April 15, 2008: 10 w 5 days, DD measured 6 w 1 day
GlamaGal
Name: Lori, 31
DH: K, 43
Married: 10.11.03
DD: A, 11.27.05
M/C: 6.5.07 @ 6w (not sure when conceived)
Angel DD: 12.4.07 D&E @ 19w 1d due to condition not compatible w/life
hiphopgirl
Me: Janet (36)
DH: Jack (38)
DS: Anders (7/13/05)
M/C: Found out at 9w5d, D&C 6/20/07
hokiegirl
Bernadette (32) and John (36)
M/C: 1/08 (blighted ovum), 6/08 (triploidy)
janu98
Mona (29) Abdullah (32)
found out we had a blighted ovum pregnancy 8/7
waiting for m/c to happen
JMD
Age: 26
TTCing since Aug '07
Married: 8/10/02
M/C: 12/16/06, @ 5 weeks
Kelly51703
Name: Kelly
DH: Chris
Married: 5.17.03
DD: 11.23.05
M/C: @ 5w6d, 11.28.06
M/C: ruptured ectopic 1.14.07 (didn't even know I was PG)
Kelly's Girl
Me: Kelly's Girl, 33
DH: 33
M/C: Jan 1, 2005
PG: Feb, 2005- DS born October, 2005
M/C #2: July, 2007 (didn't know I was pg, so don't know how far along I was!)
lilhimley
Name:Jennifer, 33
DH: Erik, 45
Married: June 7, 2003
M/C blighted ovum by D&C at 10 weeks 12/07/2005
Had D&E at 14 weeks 08/18/06 due to chromosome problem and heart defect
Sunshine
Me: 29
DH: 32
DD: 5/12/2007
M/C: (1st) Summer of 1998, early m/c around 6w.
(2nd) Found out on 8/6/2008~ 8w6d, sac/fetal pole measured at 6w,no heartbeat ~ Started to m/c on 8/21/2008.
Tealynn
Me: 36
TTCing since May '06
Married: 9/03
M/C: 5/31/06, @ 6 weeks
M/C#2: 9/23/07 @ 7 weeks
AirForceLove
Name:Jen, 32
DH:Lenny, 28
Married: February 15th, 2003
M/C 6 weeks, January 2002
M/C 4 weeks, 3 days July 2004
M/C 4 weeks, 4 days Dec 2006
ajjlanden
Name:Ashley, 28
DH: Doug, 33
Married: June 28, 2005
M/C naturally at 7 weeks
DD: Danielle Judith 12-15-04
alliannie
Name:Annie,22
DH:Adam,23
Married: August 15, 2004
M/C (D&C) @ 10 weeks, June 2005
amygrrl
me: amy (36)
dh: dan (34)
TTC since: March 2003
Treatments: 6 failed rounds of Clomid. 1 successful IVF producing Avery Elizabeth born still on June 3, 2005 at 27 weeks from possible cord accident (we love you, baby girl!) along with 3 frozen blasts.
Update
DD Name: malin elizabeth 4/3/06
bellabonga
Me: 33
DH: 35
Married: October 2nd, 2002
M/C: Missed Abortion at 10w4d but he or she had been dead for about a week by then. Three days later d&c on May 26th, 2006.
DD: Maya Allison February 14th, 2003
brenda
Name: Brenda, 22
DH: Sweetie, 36
Married: September, 2005
M/C naturally at 8 weeks (11/10/05)
bumble
name: rebecca
dh: a boy
married: august 31, 2003
m/s at 8 weeks, june 2005
bunnybeth
Name: Bethany, 27DH: Elon, 28
Married: June 23, 2002
M/C naturally at 12w1d (12/7/05)
Calla Lilly
Name:Erin, 31
DH: Gary 36
Married: August 2006
M/C medicated 9w3d on 11/16/05
foofie357
Name: Steff, 26
DH: Brian, 26
Married: November 24, 2001
M/C: 9 weeks. D&E Feb 23. I am considering this her date, but she had died about a week before that.
DS: Christopher 8-12-04
Happy27
Name:happy 27
DH: 29
Married: April 27, 2002
M/C in process - the baby measured 6 weeks but should be about 9 weeks we are waiting for the baby to pass and contemplating a D&C
DS: Benjamin 8-14-04
Hew?B
Name: Hew?B, 29
Will be Married: Oct 2006
M/C: @ 6w2d, June 2006
puglover
Name:Julia, 27
DH: Josh, 28
Married: April 20, 2002
M/C - baby died 8w3d, I would have been 12w4d when we found out, D&C on October 18, '06, miscarried naturally Oct. 22, 27 and Nov 1, Cytotec Nov 4-5, '06, D&C#2 Nov. 9, '06
purplesunshine7
married 4/5/03
me:28
dh:28
m/c june 2,2005
robynsnest
Me: 32
DH: 34
Married Since: 04/02
Miscarried: 02/06
Miscarriage or spontaneous abortion is the natural or accidental termination of a pregnancy at a stage where the embryo or the fetus is incapable of surviving, generally defined at a gestation of prior to 20 weeks. Miscarriages are the most common complication of pregnancy. The term "abortion" refers to any terminated pregnancy, deliberately induced or spontaneous, although in common parlance it refers specifically to active termination of pregnancy.
Types of Miscarriages
A threatened abortion is the development of symptoms (bleeding with or without cramps or low back pain) that often suggest impending miscarriage. With such a presentation of bleeding, 50% proceed to miscarriage of the pregnancy.
Inevitable abortion
The miscarriage of a pregnancy is inevitable when any of the following symptoms are present:
There is an obvious rupture of membranes
An open cervix
There is tissue in the cervix
There is an absence of fetal heart at a βHCG level consistent with fetal heart activity
When any of these symptoms are detected, management involves conservative observation, monitoring for heavy bleeding and sepsis, and a dilatation and curettage (D&C).
Incomplete abortion
An incomplete abortion is the miscarriage of a fetus in a pregnancy when tissue has been passed, but some remains in utero. It can result in severe bleeding, infection or intrauterine scarring. Management consists of a dilatation and curettage (D&C).
Septic abortion
The infection of the womb carries risk of spreading infection (septicaemia) and is a grave risk to the life of the woman. It may follow an incomplete miscarriage and previously was a problem for pregnancies that occurred if a Dalkon Shield IUD had failed in its contraception. This has been particularly associated with abortions performed in non-sterile circumstances, common where abortions are carried out illegally and/or by poorly skilled and equipped operators.
A missed abortion is the miscarriage of a fetus in a pregnancy when the fetus has died, but remains in the uterus. Many cases of missed abortion will lead to a spontaneous abortion within days. Occasionally, a dilatation and currettage is necessary to remove the pregnancy tissue. That's because there is a risk of maternal coagulation abnormality if the tissue remains in the uterus for several weeks.
Habitual abortion (recurrent pregnancy loss or recurrent miscarriage) is the occurrence of 3 consecutive miscarriages. The majority (85%) of women who have had two miscarriages will conceive and carry normally afterwards, so statistically the occurrence of three abortions at 0.34%[3]) is regarded as "habitual".
There are various medical conditions associated with this problem, some of which may be corrected with medication.
A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss -- Guidance and Support for You and Your Family
by Perry-Lynn Moffitt, Isabelle A. Wilkins, Ingrid Kohn
Support for this often unrecognized loss. Includes information on how men and women grieve differently, stress management in subsequent pregnancies, etc.
A Woman Doctor's Guide to Miscarriage: Essential Facts and Up-To-The
Minute Information on Coping With Pregnancy Loss and Trying Again
by Irene Daria, Laurie Abkemeier (Editor), Lynn Friedman
Coping With Miscarriage: A Simple, Reassuring Guide to Emotional and Physical Healing
by Mimi Luebbermann
Pregnancy councelor writes about emotional and physical stages of miscarriage.
Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss
by Sherokee Ilse
Support.
Empty Arms: Emotional Support for Those Who Have Suffered Miscarriage or Stillbirth
by Pam W. Vredevelt
Christian-based emotional support.
How to Prevent Miscarriage and Other Crisis of Pregnancy
by Carol Colman, Stefan Semchyshyn
Information of preventing future losses.
Never Held You: an ebook about miscarriage
by Ellen M. DuBois
Who are we? We are professionals in the workforce or professional mothers. We are painters and singers. We are caretakers and we are movie stars. Some of us may have children; while some of us don't. The one thing that connects us all is that we are women who experienced a miscarriage that seemed, in many cases, to go unacknowledged by many. We have all felt the dismissal of our very real grief and we have all felt alone and isolated because of it. We cry our tears together. You are not alone in your struggle to get through this . . . http://dlsijpress.com/dubois/index.shtml
Miscarriage: A Shattered Dream
by Sherokee Ilse & Linda Hammer Burns
This is what I would consider a short form book of information and support. It's a fast read, but some people will want more depth.
Miscarriage: The Facts
(Oxford Medical Publications) 2nd Edition
by Gillian C. L. Lachelin
Miscarriage: What Every Woman Needs to Know
by Professor Lesley Regan
Information on causes, process, treatment, chances of successful pregnancy,
miscarriage and infertility.
Miscarriage: Women Sharing from the Heart
by Marie Allen, Ph.D. & Shell Marks, M.S.
Stories of support from many women. A very emotional read, but worth it.
Motherhood after Miscarriage
by Dr. Kathleen Diamond (Ph.D. biochemistry)
Medical info and support.
Stories of Miscarriage - Healing with Words
edited by Rachel Faldet and Karen Fitton
Moving writings from both mothers and fathers.
Preventing Miscarriage: The Good News
by Jonathan Scher, M.D.
A good look into the medical causes of loss and information on testing and prevention.
Surviving Pregnancy Loss: A Complete Sourcebook for Women and Their Families
(revised & updated)
by Rochelle Friedman, MD & Bonnie Gradstein, MPH
An in-depth look at the physical and emotional, with a section on husbands & other family. Some stories, a good resource list, and great bibliography.
A Time To Decide, A Time To Heal
Molly Minnock, MSW, Kathleen Delp, ACSW and Mary Ciotti, MD
This is a book for parents who are making difficult decisions about babies they love. It's written by mothers & fathers who have faced the news of a fetal anomaly with grief & courage. Topics include: Making decisions (continuing & interrupting the pregnancy), taking control, medical procedures, couples healing, selective fetal reduction and subsequent pregnancies.
Unspeakable Losses: Understanding the Experience of Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage, and Abortion
Kim Kluger-Bell
A therapist's look at the loss of a baby -- includes a number of personal stories. Looks at subjects including knowing of an in-utero death before the physical loss takes place, selective reduction, abortion for genetic reasons, loss after infertility, etc.
Moving on
If and when you are ready to move on to a thread for TTC there are these threads available:
TTC after a Loss
TTC w/ Charting
Plus Size and TTC
Seeing What Happens
Still At It
TTC at 35+
Or if you have decided to wait these threads are available:
Ladies in Waiting
Charting to Avoid
It's hardest to say good-bye, when you never got a chance to say hello
No matter how many children I live to have, it will always be one less than I want
Waiting for tomorrow morning for my Dr's office to call....
We went to a party today and one of our friend's is pregnant-she had lots of questions about baby care & pregnancy weight gain & loss. I was fine talking with her & am happy for her, but it is still so unfair. She's due in July, I would have been due in June. It just sucks.
Support for Ladies who have Miscarried (#6)
