Any Stay At Home Dads out there?

**southerner** · 08-05-2005, 05:51 PM

DH and I have recently started to talk about TTC and what we would do as far as work goes. I really want (and will need to financially) keep working, but don't want to put our baby in daycare that early. DH is an artist and feels confident that he could get enough freelance work to make ends meet the first few years after the baby is born.

I wanted to hear if there were any others out there??? If you have a SAHH (new abbreviation, I think!), how does he like it? Or not?

Hope there's others out there!

**Pookie** · 08-05-2005, 10:56 PM

I don't know if this really counts, but when I went back to school my DH had Tues, Wed, and Thurs off to watch DS. It was really good for them as far as bonding goes. DH has always been a very hands - on Dad, so he pretty much knew what to expect. He took DS to storytime every week. There was only 1 other dad there, so I think he felt kind of weird about that. He makes more comments now about missing DS while he's gone and DS smiles alot more at him. I think it's been a really good experience for them.

**Mrs. M.** · 08-06-2005, 06:32 AM

I stayed home the first year and now I am working about 10 days/month. DH works from home (artist), and we share child care evenly. DH loves it, even if it can be hard to seperate work from home. A seperate room with a door that remains closed during work hours and clearly scheduled work time definitely helps. He still makes way more $$ than me, so we will probably leave it this way with both of us working sort-of part-time. DD is starting preschool in the mornings soon, so that will help.

I actually think DH is better than me with little kids! We are thinking about him starting a playgroup (once a week), because he is so great and all of DDs little friends just adore him.

**southerner** · 08-06-2005, 08:01 AM

Yeah!! There are a few!!

Pookie I never thought of going to a storytime together. That is definitely something DH would be into doing to get him out of the house somedays. Are those at the local library?

MrsM. I think my DH has a knack for being with kids as well. He does birthday parties (which I'm hoping he can keep on the weekends) PT now at the local natural science museum. I guess I just get nervous b/c I'm not sure how "steady" his income could/would be. Those are great suggestions about scheduling work time and closing the door. I never thought of that aspect of "woking from home"

Another thing is that we are new to where we are and haven't met that many people here. So, we'd have no other help raising the little one. I guess I'm just trying to think all this through (in my mind) before the time gets here.

**Mrs. M.** · 08-06-2005, 11:44 AM

As far as income, it varies which is probably the case with most freelancers. It does make me nervous sometimes. We saved up some before DD came which helped out a lot.

We do not have any family where we live (our closest relatives are 3 hours away). I loved having a mothers group that was started when I was pregnant. They split the groups up according to baby's birthdate - 3 months in one group. We still meet every week and when I am out of town my DH goes, sometimes we both go. Maybe try to find something like that in your area when the time comes, it was and is a great support!

**Pookie** · 08-06-2005, 08:37 PM

Storytime is at the local library. I think they are most places. My friend in another state goes to her's.

**kuroneko** · 08-07-2005, 11:16 AM

My husband is a SAHD and takes care of our 13 month old daughter. He has done so since I went back to work when she was 3 months old. He is a freelance graphic designer working from home, and that is what he was already doing before we had the baby. It has worked out really well for us. He loves being home with her, and she adores him. He doesn't work a full 40 hours (more like 20 hours probably), which allows him the time to do what he needs to do with her. Most of his work gets done during nap times. We really like the fact that she is at home instead of at daycare. Sometimes I'm sad that it's not me who is home with her druing the day, but my husband had the job that could be done from home, so that is the way it worked out. I get quality mommy time in the early morning, early evening and on weekends. It's wonderful that my husband is so involved with the rearing of our child. It's so nice that he knows all her quirks, her schedules, everything about her care. It's been a really good experience for our family.

**ce_Kathleen** · 08-08-2005, 06:36 AM

My DH is a SAHD to our almost 1 year old DS! He has been home since I was 8 months PG and I went back to work when DS was 6 weeks old.

This has always been what we planned as we knew when we were in college that I would be the one making more $$. DH had just finished getting his degree when I was put on bedrest at 8 months. We figured that since we were used to not having a salary from him (since he was in school) we wouldn't miss it when DS came. Now DH does work a few nights/weekends as an assistant manager at the local record store but that really is more for him to get out of the house and get "adult interaction". He is really lucky that he works with 5 other guys all late 20's early 30's who have become his best buddies. When I travel for work his buddies invite DH over for dinner to help relieve some of the stress/lonliness he has while I am away. It has also been good for me to meet/hang with the wives of his buddies.

DH takes DS to baby gymboree classes (usually he is the only dad but there is one other dad who alternates coming with his wife). DS loves to play on the mats and with the toys and other babies. DH has been lucky that the other women in the class started up a playgroup and he has been involved in that too!

I think the hardest part is overcoming the stereotypes. Like when DH goes to his Dr appt the ladies in the office always make comments about how it "must be your day to have the baby, how nice to give your wife a break" and DH always has to tell them that HE is the one with DS ALL DAY EVERY DAY!

I do feel bad about working but knowing that my DH is taking great care of our DS makes me feel so much better especially when I am traveling and can't be there!

**cpaccione** · 08-08-2005, 06:50 AM

DH stayed home during the day with DS from the time he was 3 months to 9 months. He did work, but it was the dinner shift at a restaurant so we would "switch off" with the kids around 5:00 or so. He liked staying at home with DS and did a pretty good job, but I'm sure he prefers that I'm doing it now!

DH would get irritated at times when people would say to him "oh your stuck babysitting today". DH would constantly tell them, no, this is my son, I take care of him, then they would say "what, is your wife out getting her hair done" or something like that. That bothered him.

**amorey** · 08-08-2005, 07:58 AM

We aren’t TTC yet, but we are planning for my DH to be a full time SAHD, hopefully at least until the youngest is in school. Right now he’s in school to be a preschool teacher, so he obviously loves little kids! One he graduates, he’ll be making $14 and hour, if he’s lucky. It wouldn’t be worth it for him to keep working, so we’re planning for him to stay at home. We’d like to get to a position where he won’t have to work at all once we have kids. I’m thrilled with it, because I won’t have to choose between perusing my career and putting my child in daycare.