Asking for money instead of gifts

**Tara07** · 06-05-2008, 11:13 AM

I have a friend of mine that is getting married in Montego Bay in October and wanted to know how to say that they dont want gifts but money instead?

**KGif** · 06-05-2008, 11:15 AM

There is only one way to do that - DON'T. Unless she wants to offend a majority of the invited guests.

Bottom line is that MOST people will give a check instead of a gift simply b/c of the location. No one is going to pack a blender and carry it on the plane with them.

jimmysgirl424 · 06-05-2008, 11:20 AM

Yeah, we never said that we preferred cash and I'd say that about 98% of our guests gave us cash/checks. And we did not have a destination wedding.

**Hello Kitty** · 06-05-2008, 11:26 AM

Yep, you don't. She can also not register, which will help give a bit of an indication.

**ejs** · 06-05-2008, 11:27 AM

She cannot say that at all. It would be very rude.

People will give what they want.

Proper etiquette says that guests should never take a gift to the wedding (no matter where it is located), it should be mailed ahead of time.

**villanelle75** · 06-05-2008, 11:31 AM

She can't. Ate least, she can't without being rude and offending people.

Gifts are gifts. You don't get to dictate what people *give* you.

**Tara07** · 06-05-2008, 11:31 AM

Thanks Girls! That is what I though too. Because she told me that she has everything she needs as far as stuff that you would normally register for if you didnt have a house yet. I will definately tell her.

**laura** · 06-05-2008, 11:38 AM

Well she doesn't have to register, but that doesn't mean it is appropriate to ask for cash.

**Yvangeline** · 06-05-2008, 12:20 PM

I know a couple that did this (as I recall, they worded it in a bizarre little poem in the wedding invitation). It came off as weird and tacky.

ETA: There are honeymoon registry sites like http://www.thebigday.com/. This is basically a way of asking for money (ostensibly for your honeymoon) while trying to make it sound less tacky.