Birthday parties - Whom to invite???

[ShelbyMay]

I was thinking we'd just have a relatively low-key party at home for DD, but wanted to invite some of her "friends" as well as our family members. I started making a list and it wasn't long before it got totally out-of-hand! We have 25 people with just our close family. Then I started adding kids from our playgroup and their parents, plus kids from church and their parents, and I just quit when it starting nearing 50 people.

How do you keep it reasonable without hurting anyone's feelings?

ETA: DD is just turning 2, which is why I had to include the other kids' parents.

[dana b]

we did big first birthday parties where we invited friends and family. we both have big families and just both our immediate families ends up being 30 people, so that's all we invite now. we don't invite any of our friends, except for a couple of close friends with kids the same age and we don't invite any preschool friends. i'm not sure how i'll do it in the future, maybe have a small thing on a weekday with school friends and a separate family get-together.

i don't find anyone getting their feelings hurt. if you're just having immediate family, then it's more of a get-together than a party imo.

[mamax2]

I can't imagine Church or playgroup friends being hurt at not being invited to a 2 y.o.'s birthday party.

For years 1 & 2, just immediate family. For my oldest, she was ready to have friends (per her request) at her third birthday, so we invited neighborhood kids. Same thing with her fourth and now this year for her fifth, we may add a couple of school friends. I imagine that after this year, she'll do smaller parties (I'm thinking sleep-overs, etc.)

Our playgroup has a 'no gifts' party policy. The Mom usually has pizza or cupcakes or something to celebrate. Maybe a craft, but that's it.

[allyray231]

we did big first birthday parties where we invited friends and family. we both have big families and just both our immediate families ends up being 30 people, so that's all we invite now. we don't invite any of our friends, except for a couple of close friends with kids the same age and we don't invite any preschool friends. i'm not sure how i'll do it in the future, maybe have a small thing on a weekday with school friends and a separate family get-together.

i don't find anyone getting their feelings hurt. if you're just having immediate family, then it's more of a get-together than a party imo.

This is what we did also. We just invited close friends.

[megan8473]

We just had second bday party for DS in Feb. We did a "friends" party, his friends. So whether it was cousins, friends kids, whoever he sees on a regular basis, we invited them and their parents of course and both sets of grandparents. We ended up with about 7 kids i think. He loved having all his friends over. No one was offended, I just said at christmas i think " we're doing a kids party this year " no one cared.

[myshel]

we did big first birthday parties where we invited friends and family. we both have big families and just both our immediate families ends up being 30 people, so that's all we invite now. we don't invite any of our friends, except for a couple of close friends with kids the same age and we don't invite any preschool friends. i'm not sure how i'll do it in the future, maybe have a small thing on a weekday with school friends and a separate family get-together.

i don't find anyone getting their feelings hurt. if you're just having immediate family, then it's more of a get-together than a party imo.

This is pretty much what we did for DS's second birthday. We invited close family members and only friends with kids close in age to DS.

For his third birthday, I was thinking of asking three couples (and their kids) to go get pizza with us at a local pizza place and then going to get ice cream afterward.

[Traciann]

all of dd's parties have been family and my friends and their kids. for her daycare friends I just bought cupcakes for the class and they loved it. could you do cupcakes or a little something special for playgroup friends at the next playgroup?
we are not in a playgroup, but it wouldn't bother me if I wasn't invited. just for the very reasons you mentioned.

[daisysue62]

For DD's 1st and 2nd birthdays she shared a celebration with my Dh on his birthday since they are 4 days apart and it was a better day to celebrate. She also gets two parties a year since we're always visiting my inlaws the third week of July and celebrate Dh and DD's birthdays with them and then celebrate with my parents the next week.

This year I might invite some friends with kids her age and do a barbecue party at the park. Since she has a summer birthday I figured it would be fun and easy and I wouldn't have to come up with age appropriate games or anything. I'll invite my parents and brother and that will be our party with them.

[karlatta]

We don't do 1st birthday parties, and starting at 2, we plan to invite as many "friends" as the kid is turning old. (So my DS is turning 2 on Saturday and I invited 2 of his friends. When my foster DD turned 9, she invited 9 friends.) I think it's a pretty good system - little kids don't need a ton of friends around to have a good time. My DS will enjoy his two little buddies just as much as he would enjoy having his entire preschool class with him.

We also invite some family - grandparents, aunts and uncles, and usually a couple of close friends of mine and DH's.

[Pookie]

For the first bday we had about 20 people. The last 2 years, we've had closer to 50ish. The 2nd bday was also a combo housewarming, though. I agree that church friends and playgroups wouldn't be hurt. I have a friend who wants to invite about 75 people to her DS's first bday. Her rationale was that her DH's coworkers would be hurt. I have a feeling they don't have much interaction with her DS.