Tired of my best freind

[lipgloss]

My best friend is always trying to compete with me. Who we are dating, work, and our familys. I am just very tired of her behavor. waht can I say too her too stop it?

[longislandlolita]

Well, if she's competing with you in spelling, I think you lost that one.

[PG-rated]

Yeesh, can't the snark stay in ChitChat where it belongs?

To answer the question, my experience has always been that you can't get people like that to stop - you can only refuse to play their game. For example:

You: My new BF gave me flowers.
Her: My new BF gave me a necklace.
You: That's great; you must be very happy.

[jbenny75]

I agree- you can't get people like that to stop. I had a friend like that and she just had no clue that she was doing it or how wrapped up in herself she was. I stopped giving her any info on anything that she could one-up me with, but then she just bragged non-stop on her own. I had to break up with her because I just couldn't stand it anymore.

[mrschica]

A) She's not going to stop, trust me on that one. She feels inferior and right now you're her drug of choice in that department.

B) Why do you want a friend who competes with you and basically doesn't have the capacity to be happy for your achievements? Doesn't sound like a friend to me.

C) If I were you I'd cut her loose, but that's just me. I like to be on an even playing field with my friends, and not necessarily in the superficial sense i.e. what we have, but rather, sharing the same definition of respect. I don't see any respect on her part, you can't truly respect someone you feel is superior or inferior to you because then it causes some sort of subconscious power struggle. Not good.

[AmandaLeigh]

I actually have 2 friends that are/were like that. One I don't talk to see anymore. The other I talk to infrequently. We have a ton in common once she can get past talking about herself. She won't change, and I doubt your friend will either. You can either accept that she is self absorbed or move on with your life.