I need help!!
DS is 4 months old. Right now he is sleeping in the cosleeper (sides up) in my master bedroom closet (because I don't want to be up and down the stairs all night and I don't want him to wake DD, whose room is adjacent to his). He is swaddled in the miracle blanket in a sleep positioner. He is usually asleep around 6:30 at night. However, he wakes, in general, 4 times a night!! This is his normal schedule (well, normal in that it's been going on for about 2 weeks...):
6:30 asleep (nurse to sleep or almost asleep). If he isn't fully asleep or is overtired then he might cry for 5-15 minutes on and off before falling asleep.
9-10 p.m. wakes up somewhere around this time. Usually I'll nurse and he'll go back to sleep.
12 a.m. wakes up (nurse and back to sleep)
2:30 am wakes up (nurse and back to sleep)
4 am wakes up-it doesn't seem to matter what time he previously woke to nurse, even if he was up from 3-3:15 nursing he will still be up at 4 am. The past few nights I've tried letting him cry to see if he will settle back down but he's gone on for as long as 30-45 minutes and so I've gone and gotten him, nursed him again and he is generally back in the cosleeper around 5-5:15 am where he will sleep for another 1-2 hours.
As you can see I am getting not a lot of sleep!!! Please help me come up with a game plan. I ST'd DD but she was not quite as stubborn as he seems to be and had different issues, plus as an only at the time it wasn't so hard to get rest during the day as it is with a toddler as well. I am okay with CIO but I need a plan. How long is it okay to let him cry for? And how do I determine which wakings I should feed him at and which ones I should not go to him? I know he still needs to eat at least 2 times during the night but I'm not sure when I should feed him. And I feel like if I go to him for some wakings and let him cry for others, isn't that kind of inconsistent in terms of ST'ing? Please help me, I'm about to go insane here.
Thanks!
magdesilver,
I could have written your post word for word. It's 3:30 a.m., and I can't fall back asleep because I'm so frustrated at the lack of sleep I've been getting the last few months. I'm also caring for a toddler during the day who seemed so easy to sleep train with Weissbluth's methods. I feel like maybe I've created this issue by being too quick to jump at every noise DC#2 made for fear of her waking DC#1. Anyway, I'm ready to do whatever it takes to get some sleep again. My DH works long hours and travels frequently for work, so much, if not all, of the responsibility of sleep training is falling on my shoulders. Four months of interrupted sleep is really taking its toll on me. I'm a very, very grouchy mommy.
Quick question for you - what does your DS's daytime schedule look like?
My DD wakes around 6/6:30 for the day. She can generally only stay awake for 1-2 hours at this time. Her 1st nap is usually about 1-2 hours in length. Things get a little tricky after this. I feel like we're usually out (b/c of my toddler), so she'll fall asleep sometime mid-late morning, or if we're at home, she'll nap from 10:30/11-noon. Selfishly, I try to sync up her nap w/ DS's nap from 1-3ish, b/c I'm dying for some sleep myself. I suppose I should pay more attention to her cues, rather than doing this. I'm probably getting her overtired and perpetuating this entire sleep deprived/night waking cycle.
Okay, off to try falling asleep again. Hope this thread sheds some light on what it is I'm doing wrong. I simply cannot do this for much longer. *Yawn*
We have been letting DS CIO to get him to stop wanting 2-4 bottles during the night. It is actually going well but I am not sure what to do when he wakes up at 6:30 am crying. That is an hour earlier than his usual wake-up time. Do we give him a bottle then or let him CIO?
Yesterday we gave him a bottle and he fell back to sleep after he ate it. Today we let him CIO and he only cried for about 10 minutes before falling back to sleep. So both methods seem to work but I am just not sure which one is "right."
Thanks.
magdesilver, I don't really have any advice but I wanted to say to hang in there!
jenny0505, it makes sense to want them to nap together but IA m not sure if that is the right way to go about it. I am sure someone here will have some good advice for you. Good luck!
jenny I think we are living parallel lives! My DH is a military pilot and is often gone for work (he just returned Monday from 10 weeks away). Anyhow, daytime isn't so bad in general. DS takes pretty much all naps in the swing. He will usually wake around 6, come into bed with me and nurse until 6:30 and then be back down for another nap between 7:30-8. This nap varies, 3 days a week my DD goes to MDO at 9:15 so I often have to wake him at 9 and get him dressed so we can take her. Other days I will let him sleep longer. I hate to sit home with my DD all day, she goes stir crazy too. Usually he will nap for most or at least part of her midday nap (gives me an hour or 2 to eat lunch, make phone calls, clean up, etc.- I never get to nap during this time!). It's the 3rd nap that we sometimes miss because we go out in the afternoon. DS doesn't nap in the stroller and very rarely in the car (he's out of the infant seat). This makes for a very cranky little baby come 5:30. So that last hour or hour and a half before he goes to sleep for the night has a lot of crying when he's overtired. When my DH was gone I would give them a bath together but after I got him out of the tub, get him dressed and put him on the floor with some toys it's pretty much a screamfest while I finish up DD's bath. But being home alone what are my options?
Having 2 is much more difficult than I imagined, especially the sleep issues!
Is it normal for a baby to stop falling asleep on his own at bedtime when you first start CIO? DS has always been great about falling asleep on his own. We started CIO 2 nights ago and today he screamed as soon as he saw his crib. I was able to calm him down and rock him to *almost* asleep and put him in there but his initial reaction scared me. I am scared we made him feel like he is being abandoned in there.
Michelle, I've noticed that too. I started letting ds cry just a little bit the past couple of days and now he screams when I lay him down. I don't know what to do, but I don't think HSHHC will work for us since dh is against CIO and keeps picking him up. Good luck!
magdesilver & Jeny I feel for you both. Sort of have in the same situation with you ladies in the nighttime. DH works nights and I usually rush home to help put DD2 to sleep and then feed, bathe and put DD1 to sleep. Compared with DD2, DD1 in hindsight seems like a dream. I have to remind myself though that those were just different times (ie DH worked days, my parents were here helping for the first 6 months, my job wasn't so stressful, etc). Now everything is working against me including DD2's temperament. Actually I am not sure if it is temperament or just compounded sleep deprivation.
We are a sleep deprived household. The only one who gets any real sleep is DD1 who sleeps in my room with a sound machine turned on to full blast to drown out DD2's crying.
My update It has been peaks and lots of valleys for me. I have been sleep training DD since she turned 4 months and we are now nearing 7 months. Granted there were many inconsistencies at times but I thought that I have tried to keep the routine the same for the most part. There were great days but now it seems like we have taken a turn for the worst when according to the books it should start getting better.
I am in SLEEP HELL I have not slept longer than 6 hours for almost 7 months. Those 6 hours have not been uninterrupted. We have done CIO now for the past 3 months. There were many days when she would just fall quietly asleep on her own which led me to the foolish conclusion that she finally "got" it. Then a day or 2 later, she would be screaming her lungs off as she is right now.
I am at the end of my rope and don't know what to do. I can't revert to rocking her to sleep. That took hours and she woke up every 30 minutes. I can't take all this crying. I am stressed all around and just plain tired.
I can't go in and comfort her because it just makes her angrier if I don't pick her up. I tried sleeping beside her where she could see me, but she just wants to be picked up.
I am so frustrated. I am tempted to call one of those "sleep consultants". Has anyone ever heard of those? It is $350 an hour by me. I am not even sure how many hours they would need but I am growing so desperate for some peace that I am considering this.
I have a question - DS is 10 months old and for the past 3 weeks, his sleep has gone all to hell! He used to go to sleep around 8 and wake up around 6, have a bottle, then go back to sleep for another couple of hours. Now he wakes up at least once in the night (usually around 4 or 5) and sometimes he wakes up between midnight and 2 am in addition to that. What is going on here?? He is always hungry and sucks down a bottle, and I have tried CIO but he will scream and scream like someone is killing him and he absolutely will not stop until I go in.
Does this sound like a growth spurt? He's definitely hungry when he wakes up (I've heard his stomach growling a few times, and anyway he won't take a bottle if he isn't truly hungry). I've been trying to feed him more solids during the day, esp. more protein, but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. Any ideas?
Sleep Teaching / Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - PART 2
