I guess this would be an etiquette question because I'm wondering if the scenario would be polite for the guests...mods, if it needs to be moved, feel free.
My BFF's wedding is in June. After a lot of waffling, she and her DF have decided on a 6:30 start time for the ceremony. Her reception is in a different location about 20 minutes from the church. She told me that they're having a decent-sized meal served at the reception, but that her appetizer was going to be chips and queso. My concern is twofold:
a) If the guests don't eat before coming to the wedding, we're looking at after 8 pm before they have supper.
b) If the guests decide to eat before going to the ceremony, she's going to have a lot of leftover wasted food.
I've suggested to her to bulk up her appetizer some to include some of the items that were going to be on the supper buffet: fruit, veggies, cheese, and crackers, I think. That way, her guests aren't starving by the time we all make it to the reception post-pictures.
I guess I'm concerned about this because I went to a wedding once with a 6:30 start time. Even with the reception in the same location, it was after 9 pm before our table was dismissed to go through the buffet line (large number of guests, and we somehow ended up at the last table to be allowed to go through). I was not a happy camper, especially since DB (at the time) and I had to drive about an hour and a half after the wedding to get home. I don't remember there being much in the way of appetizers, so we were STARVING by the time we got our supper plates.
I've had my own wedding, but it was at 2 pm, with just a finger-food reception in the same locale as the ceremony, so people knew that if they wanted a meal, to eat beforehand. Plus I let my guests go on and start eating before we got to the reception, as about 70% of them were out-of-town guests not spending the night.
Anyone who's had a similar start time with their wedding and had a meal at the reception, how did you have it coordinated? Was I out of line to suggest the heartier appetizer to her? Thanks!
What day of the week is it? If it's on a Friday I would think guests won't have time to eat if they work so it would be nice to have something more than chips to snack on. If it's on a Saturday and people know dinner will be late then I would expect they would eat a little before they came and chips would suffice.
But I'm hardly Miss Manners so I'm not sure what the techinal rule is.
Why do people kill people who kill people to show people that to kill people - is bad?
I don't know how Miss Manners would view this, but this is my experience with late weddings. The arrangement was that the guests would start dinner without the wedding party. Dinner was buffet-style with no appetizers. There were only about 50 people total. The reception was held approximately 5 miles from the ceremony site--roughly 10/15 minutes. This was not my wedding.
Last edited by mindy75; 02-12-2007 at 02:04 PM.
Reason: clarify
Quite honestly, I think her original set-up sounds fine if that is what she wants to do. All the guests will know in advance that the ceremony and thus dinner will be a little later. I'd just eat a light snack beforehand to tide me over to dinner. I've been to plenty of weddings where dinner was served on the later side and I can't say it bothered me at all.
I don't think you are out of line to suggest bulking up on the appetizers to her, but it is her wedding and her decision. And whatever she decides, I'm sure it will turn out just fine.
I think for a Saturday evening wedding, people will be expecting a full dinner; they'll also be expecting it to be late. It's a fairly formal time for a wedding, for that reason people probably will also be expecting a bit more lavish appetizers. I agree with suggesting at least cheese and crackers and a veggie plate to the bride, but if she's not into it I'd just drop it. Not worth becoming "friendzilla" for, and not a big enough problem to really put a damper on her wedding.
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do well matters very much." ~ Jackie O. Livejournal
Oh no, I'm not going to hammer her over the head with this. If it's too much of a hassle for her to switch it, or she simply decides to stick with the lighter appetizer, I'll drop it. I just don't want guests to start grumbling about how hungry they are and thus have them a little ticked at the bride and groom, KWIM? If people expect that supper will be later and plan accordingly, then I don't have a problem with it.
Part of me was worried that the wedding party wouldn't get to eat anything all day, given how busy we'd be. But she told me that she plans on having sandwiches and stuff brought to the church before the ceremony for us and our spouses, so at least *we* won't be passing out from hunger.
We had an evening wedding as well, and since we decided to do our first dance and parent's dances as soon as we showed up for the reception (before dinner was served), we had heavy appetizers for our guests to munch on. The cocktail hour of the reception was enough time for everyone to load up a small plate, grap a drink, mingle and get to their seats before we arrived.
I agree that most likely the guests will know that dinner will be later, and will plan accordingly. But I think that having more than chips and queso would be nice.
I agree that most likely the guests will know that dinner will be later, and will plan accordingly. But I think that having more than chips and queso would be nice.
ITA. I think adding something else would be nice just to add some variety. Maybe veggies and dip.
But honestly I would leave it up to them.
Kristen & Jason 5/19/06
Our Peanut has arrived 5/20/09
Time of day of wedding and appetizers
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