We are having MAJOR sleep problems with our DD (almost 4 months), and I really need some help! Things seem to be getting progressively worse. I currently have a call in to my ped and to my lactation consultant (figured she might have some advice), but I thought maybe someone here might have some words of wisdom.
It used to be that my DD slept great at night (11 or 12 hours, with 1 or 2 breaks to eat), and took one good nap of about 2-2 1/2 hours. Not great with the napping, but it was passable. Then, starting last week, she was still sleeping well at night but hardly napping at all. At this point, things were not good. She was grumpy a good bit during the day, but NOTHING I would do would help her take a nap. Even if I did help her fall asleep, she was up again shortly afterwards and never got a full nap. I have read all the sleep books, and tried watching for sleepy cues, going by the clock, and every way I could think of to get her to fall asleep.
Now things have gotten worse again. Not only is she not napping, but she's now only sleeping about 9 hours total at night. The last 3 days she has woken up at 4 am and won't go back to sleep. Currently, it's 10:15 and she's been awake since 4 and won't nap. She went to bed last night at 7, and had another feeding at midnight.
What am I doing wrong? I know she's tired, and I've tried everything I can think of short of CIO. I would try that, too, but I can't imagine it working on DD, since she's pretty persistent. The last 2 times she fell asleep, she did it on her own (I tried nursing her to sleep, but she woke up as soon as I took her off. I then put her in the crib and she went to sleep by herself), so I know she is capable of falling asleep on her own. But lately I can hardly get her to fall asleep at all, on her own OR with help. My DH even stayed home from work today, because I was too tired to do anything with her anymore by 5:30.
I should mention that the only way that usually works to get her to sleep is nursing. If anything works, it's that. But lately that isn't working so well, either.
Sorry this is a big ramble. I am not too coherent anymore.
I'm sure you have tried everything, but I will list what we do with DS:
- try the swing, I give him a paci and give him about 3-5 minutes of crying (not really crying, but he just makes unhappy noise)
-try taking her for a walk! The fresh air will help. The day we took DS downtown (we were outside all day) he SLEPT GREAT! Fresh air is great for everyone.
-last night DS just couldn't fall asleep, DH said, where is a blanket (it is so hot, I didn't give DS a blanket) DH got a blanket and DS cuddle up with it and at least STARTED to close his eyes. He didn't go to sleep right away, but it helped calm him down. And he had it over him every time I checked on him.
Let DH take care of her and get some sleep yourself (I know easier said than down!) And check back here later!!!!
oh- also, does she burp well?? When I feed DS at 11pm, I make sure I get a good burp out of him. otherwise he is sure to wake up fussy (and I usually get a burp out of him at that time)
Have u tried nursing in the side by side lying position? When nic wont sleep any other way, hell usually sleep, or fake sleep while sucking once every few minutes...just to make sure its still there... I'll do that - either in the center of the bed or on a blanket on the floor ... At least that way, I can doze while he sleeps/nurses...
First, I'm sorry this is SOOOO hard. I can relate b/c we are going through very similar issues right now (night sleep is still okay, but naps are crappy). Here's what we've tried, with some success.
When we know DS (3 months) is very tired, and we know he has a full tummy but still won't sleep for some reason, we get him very very calm and sleepy on our shoulder (burp position). Once we put him in the crib, he wakes up. Rather than picking him up, we'll put in a paci, put our mouths close to his ear and "shusssssshhhhh" him. I've done it so long sometimes I'm convinced I'm going to pass out. But it seems to be effective, at least with DS.
at a certain point, i was no longer able to nurse or rock my dd to sleep. she would twist and turn and flip out, it was as if she was ready to go to sleep on her own. i started putting her in her swing with a paci, letting her fuss for a couple of minutes and she would fall asleep. eventually it got to the point where i would just put her in the swing and she would fall asleep without a peep. most people would recommend not using the swing, but it has worked out amazingly well for us, she still naps for a total of 5 hrs a day. we put her down at the first sign of sleepiness and we never have a tired, grumpy baby.
it could also be that she's starting to teethe. looking back over the past year, absolutely all of our sleep problems were due to teething. i know that whenever she wakes up crying that she must have a tooth coming in and sure enough a few days later, there it is. that being said though, i still flip out whenever a sleep issue arises.
here I am again! Thankfully, the nighttime sleep problems resolved by themselves, but DD still isn't napping. On a good day, she will take 1 1.5 hour nap. Much of the time (like today), she won't take one at all. She's only 4 months old! How can she go 11 or 12 hours with no nap?
I am trying to establish a nap routine, but I'm not really sure how to do that since there probably won't be a nap at the end. I understand how to establish a routine if you know that you have some way (nursing, the swing, etc) that you can use at the end of it that will help the baby fall asleep, but I dont know how you do it if the baby probably isn't going to go to sleep at the end. Today, I tried to get DD to take a nap by feeding her, reading a book, bouncing, and then laying her in her crib while I went to grab a shower. By the time I got out, she was screaming bloody murder. So that was pretty unsuccessful.
My DD has never been a good napper and we struggled a lot when she was younger, too. We would usually go to the bedroom, put on a cd (Elton John always relaxes her), we'd read a book, then she'd nurse and I'd put her in bed. Everything I did would relax her and she'd usually fall asleep. Now sometimes she only slept a half hour at a time, but I was happy to get that much.
On days where it seemed there was no nap in sight, we'd go on a long walk. Ava has always loved to be outside and if I'd walk her after nursing (or now after lunch) it would soothe and relax her to sleep. Walk were always something I could fall back on to get Ava to sleep. In fact, I had to take her one a half hour ago.
I would try to find what relaxes your DD and do all you can to encourage sleep. Nurse her, put her in bed while she's drowsy, pat her back (or tummy/chest, however she sleeps), shhh her, or talk softly. Ava always liked when I would whisper to her while she was going to sleep.
I hope you're able to find something that works.
"It's just a fact." My LJ
Ava 12.16.03/James 03.29.07
DanaB Our DD only sleeps in the swing as well. We do the exact same thing, and she sleeps great...but I cannot move her to the crib. How did the transition work for you? I would appreciate any help here!
I can so feel your pain! I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. My DD was an absolutely awful napper and occasionally a poor nighttime sleeper. Things greatly improved around 7-8 months. I remember the 4 month timeframe being super bad. Are you seeing signs of teeth? That accounts for some sleep problems.
Here's what works for us... for naps I put on a digital music channel on our TV (commercial free) - usually soft rock or sometimes party music because it has a good bouncing beat. I walk and dance with her - hold her upright in my arms with her head over my shoulder. I do this until she falls asleep. We co-sleep so I wait until she's out for about 5-10 minutes, then walk upstairs to our bedroom, put her down on our bed, and if she cries then I quickly get in bed with her and nurse her until she's out again. Then I can sneak out of the room. I pretty much do the same thing at nighttime except I let her sleep on my lap from 7-9pm, then we go upstairs for the night. She's always nursed a lot at night but didn't start waking up until she started teething. She'd usually stir a little, I'd nurse her, and she wouldn't wake fully.
I hope things get better for you. I don't think you're doing anything "wrong". It's very difficult to know what some babies want.
aaaah!!! please help me help my baby sleep!
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