Terrible 2's Support

[PinkMartini]

I really try to choose my battles and this one was not important to me, so from then on, she sat in a regular chair or in a booth. No high chairs and no booster seats. She does great. No crying and she sits in her seat like a big girl and eats her food.

I'd DEFINITELY be fine with that but my DS won't even sit in the chair/booth. He wants to be down and running all over the place And if we force him to sit there he screams bloody murder

[Mindy3094]

Oh boy. Well that's not good. What sort of discipline have you tried? Would a time out in the restaurant work? It works for my DD usually but I know all kids are different.

[Bloomwood]

I need to come back here and read through as I really need support.

DD is 31 months. I just don't like her. I am physically spent at the end of the day, being with her is not fun and I'm so over the whining and crying. When do the terrible 2s go away??

[anemone]

DD is 31 months. I just don't like her. I am physically spent at the end of the day, being with her is not fun and I'm so over the whining and crying. When do the terrible 2s go away??

I think you're in the peak for it at the moment. I was given a printout at DS's 2 yo WBV and it says for 2.5 years " Breaking up - "Can't do a thing with him". Rigid, inflexible, cannot adapt, give in, or wait a little while. Everything has to be done just so, must be in the right place at the right time. Sets up a rigid sequence of events, which must follow each other, always in exactly the same manner. Violent emotions - opposite extremes- no ability to choose between alternatives." Interestingly, they supposedly go through the same thing at 5.5 and 11 years.

For 3 years - "Rounded - Balanced: Loves to conform. Likes to share objects and experiences. Doesn't need protection of rituals as before. Greater security with self and others. No longer rigid, inflexible, domineering, grasping. People are important to him. Likes to make friends. Child is happy both within himself and his environment."

There's hope - just hang in there! I used to re-read that sheet on my bad days with DS. We're in a good place now, and I haven't had a meltdown tantrum from him in a few months.

[Bloomwood]

that is her to a "t". I told Dh how I felt at dinner and now that DD has been asleep a few hours and I've calmed down, I feel really bad for saying and thinking it. I love her so much but she just tests me at every turn. I want to go crawl in bed with her and snuggle.

[dana b]

that describes my 4.5 yr old to a "t"! every once in a while we get a couple of bad weeks where i have to force myself to try to get along with her. i'm convinced that it's never going to pass, it's just going to come in phases like this and i can totally see my future with her as a teenager

i've had this night many times

I told Dh how I felt at dinner and now that DD has been asleep a few hours and I've calmed down, I feel really bad for saying and thinking it. I love her so much but she just tests me at every turn. I want to go crawl in bed with her and snuggle.

last week i thought i'd have to check into a hotel or send her to my parents, i couldn't take anymore of the drama!

[Wrighty26]

Oh, I am so here. DS is just shy of 2.5 and yeowzers. I was forewarned that it hits hard around this age. I guess I didn't believe it. There are times when I just want to package him up and keep him this age forever because he's so freaking cute, then there are times when I want to package him up and send him to another country. I really do have a GOOD kid, but when he is bad...*shudder*

Everything is "no", or I want "insert something he can't have here." I give him options, but they never satisfy him, although 10 minutes later he will want something I offered. If I try to offer him help on stuff - forget about it -- he can do it!

There are about 900 things that have changed in the past 2 months that aren't helping either. I switched jobs, DH was unemployed for about a month, I'm noticeably pregnant, etc. He's definitely aware things are changing. He's clingy at daycare drop off (and he's NEVER been clingy) and just whiny all.the.time. It's sad to say, but I'm pretty thankful I work full time. I need the break. I spend all weekend with him by myself (DH works) and that is enough at this age.

I know this is all typical terrible two's behavior, but it definitely be emotionally and physically exhausting. If we get ourselves in a situation where the tantrums start up in public, I have just been removing myself from them. Last week we had to leave his school party because he would not stop screaming and crying. It was just too much for me to handle. Is there really anything else I can do? I'm trying my hardest right now to focus on the good and not reinforce the bad. Sometimes there's a very fine line there though!

[rosa727]

My DS seemed to hit the 2's early and seems to be peaking now (just 24 months), though who knows what may be in store? I do know that kids who hit it early tend to be done with it early. My mom says that's how I was, and he totally has my personality. So I can hope this is the worst it gets!

Anyway, one thing that works pretty well for us is consequences. He really tends to "get it". If he is asking to watch Sesame Street when we get home (which is a treat, since we don't do it every day) and we are doing errands, I explain to him (in simple terms) how he needs to act while we are out in order to get that when we get home. I may have to remind him a time or two if he starts to slip up, but he really does try. And I ALWAYS keep my word on following through, so he is starting to know I mean business. I don't look at it as bribery because it is not "I'll buy you this if you are quiet" or something. It is more like "In order to watch Sesame street, you need to be helpful in the store. The means sitting in your stroller and not getting loud" or something.

Ignoring also works wonders with him! The one time he has ever had a real temper tantrum so far was the other day. We were in the car so he knew I was stuck there with him. I calmly explained what was going to happen and then I turned up Christmas music quite loud and started happily singing along (probably looked like a maniac but whatever), and he just stopped. I think he was stunned and also realized that his screaming wasn't going to get him what he wanted.

Anyway, I still need all the bright ideas I can get because there are many things that are still tough. I'm hoping to get some more ideas here!

Oh, and I bought "Making the Terrible Two's Terrific" and have read it again and again. It is now my child-rearing Bible. I highly recommend it!

[lilo]

I recently posted about my DS' terrible 2's behaviour in my LJ and its really starting to wear on me. I don't even want to take him anywhere anymore, it's that bad. We can't eat out because he won't sit in a highchair/booster seat, he wants to run around the place. We can't go shopping because he won't sit in the cart and if we force him to, he just sits and screams/cries.

Oh, I hear ya. My DS just turned 2 but we haven't been able to take him to a restaurant (unless we're willing to scarf down our food in 15 minutes, not talk to each other and risk indigestion. ) for a while now. Just like your son, my DS just wants to run around the restaurant. My advice: takeout or better yet, find a great babysitter and enjoy a meal in peace! Believe me, it is sooo worth the $10 or $12/hour!

As for the grocery store or any store for that matter, if I'm by myself with DS, he absolutely stays buckled into the grocery cart seat. Walking next to me is not an option because he would run off in a second. I would say hold your ground and he just won't stay in the cart, leave and go back to the store once your DH can watch the kids. It's just not worth the stress. DH will allow DS to walk around the store but I just don't have the patience or time for that.

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Question/Looking for advice: Does anyone have any good tactics for leaving playdates, birthday parties gracefully (i.e., DS not having a full out tantrum, crying fest) when DS has to leave the toy (which is not his of course) at the party. We've tried so many things and it's not working. We had two recent episodes recently where DS was playing with another child's toy at a party and then when it was time to leave and of course leave the toy, DS went into a crying fit. We tried to give him one of his toys that we brought along, but of course that's not as exciting as the new toy he was playing with. We have tried giving advance warnings on when we would leave and when he would have to return the toy and nothing has worked.

Basically we've had to simply pick up DS while trying to gently explain to him the situation and quickly try to leave the party so we don't disrupt the festivities, but it's sooo stressful. I'm trying to figure out other ways we could help DS realize that while it's fun to play with others' toys, he can't take them with him.


Help!!!! TIA!

[shouldaeloped]

I'm just joining in. DD is 30 months and just getting started on all this. yesterday was the worst- in the bathtub which we were using as an attempt to calm her down from the sugar-induced spaz she was (Christmas party that morning) she started splashing. all the water out of the tub. I asked for the millionth time to please stop splashing. she stopped what she was doing, looked right at me and splashed the water all over me. it wasn't a pretty sight. DH is losing patience, she is on my last nerve and I too, as someone else said, am glad to be WOH full time. and then I feel guilty about that. anyway- I just wanted to commiserate.