We're having an awful day. And it's only 9:20. Right now, Noah's having an all-out fit (he's been screaming for probably 20 minutes) because Dora's not on, and he has to settle for Blue's Clues. Lately, everything that goes against what he wants yields an immense tantrum, and I can't take it any more. Seriously, I'm ready to go find a job and put him in day care for the summer just because I can't take this crap all day every day. I hate being home with him when he's like this.
ANyone have any ideas? Suggestions? Commiseration?
Gotta run now because he's trying to escape the room.
Oh Man, Do I hear you. My little guy isn't even two and he's already in the terrible twos. He's been so trying lately and he thinks he needs to be constantly attached to me. I was joking with DH the other day saying that if Andrew could go to some type of preschool or daycare (he cant due to upcoming heart surgery) that I would have no problem putting him in that a few days a week to get a break.
Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
Andrew 8/28/04 * Jacob 4/3/06 18w4d
Ashlyn 2/23/07 * Aiden 3/26/09
i am so sorry...i'm headed down this road soon. my girlfriend with a 2yr old recommended this book, "making the terrible two's terrific" by rosemond. i haven't had the opportunity to read it yet, but she says it really has helped her so much with the insanity.
My DS is 31 months so I am right there with you. I was going to say right in the middle, but apparently the 3's are just as bad if not worse
The thing that I find so hard is that it is like DS is bi-polar. One minute he is happy, listening, playing independently, asking for things politely etc and then BAM, he is whiny, having a meltdown on the floor, demanding things. I know in my mind that he is just frustrated with his emotions, inability to communicate what he is thinking and feeling etc, but it is hard, hard, hard. I am seriously considering a PDO program for the fall as he won't go to preschool until he is 3.75 since his b-day is in Oct.
I have no suggestions as I seem to take each hour, day, meltdown at a time - but you are definetely not alone!
Alison
Aidan-10/08/03 Caitlin-09/10/05
"The joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed." unknown
oh yes, we had tears once because dora finished! she's moved on to a new show now and asks for it multiple times a day, so I got smart and taped a couple episodes.
terrible two's suck. today alone she pulled out and unravelled a big roll of garbage bags, smeared herself in lip gloss (necessitating a change of clothing) and broke a pot plant spilling its contents on the floor.
We've had this behavior off and on since about 18 months. It comes and it goes.
One book I like is The Emotional Life of the Toddler. It's not a "how to" book or anything, but it really gives you good insight into what's going on with these little guys and why it's so hard to be them! I often tell Elliott, I know, it's hard to be you, and I actually mean it! All of those emotions and frustrations on the road to independence. It's tough.
Seriously, I'm ready to go find a job and put him in day care for the summer just because I can't take this crap all day every day. I hate being home with him when he's like this.
I know you're not being serious, but I must admit I'm a lot happier now that I'm working part-time. It's just so nice to have that balance. And Elliott is much better behaved with others.
The thing is, a lot of the bad behavior comes from emotionally and physically separating from mommy. They aren't being held all day long anymore like when they were infants. They're exploring the world. They're interested in new people. They love all of this exploration, but they're also sad and confused about it too.
For us, we've got to get out of the house. Yesterday I stuck Elliott in the ergo with his raincoat on and all, and headed out for a walk. We go to the park, the gym (with childcare - which I recommend to anyone and everyone!), a coffee shop with toys for the kids, walk around the block, anything! It makes a huge difference.
DD is 22 months old now, & I have been debating going full time to work too!!! I also have a 2 1/2 month old at home, so life is not so fun right now.
I agree with Prudies on the book sugestion. Now I have only read bits & pieces, but, what has helped is that it gives me a way to deal with a meltdown, whether it is hers or mine, honestly. Instead of just wanting to scream at her, it gave me ways & reasons to talk to her & over the past few days, I have really felt alot better. I am, though, putting her in a Kinder Kare near the house 2 half days, & I think this will help. I have used the neighborhood kids alot to come play with her at times too.
I've been reading that book. Actually, I'm not finding it so useful right now. Or maybe it's just the sections I read last night. None of what I read last night seemed to apply to us. (I read the chapter on the active child, and the last part of the chapter before that, and I read the part on sleep problems.)
DH and I talked, and I think I am going to get a part time job. Just a couple days a week until Sept (when his nursery school starts). I need a break and adult interactions, and the extra $ (though it won't be much, after daycare) will be nice too.
Is anything going on with him, or do you think it's just a stage?
When I got back from being a way for a few days, Elliott was really acting up. Apparently it's their way of testing you to see if you'll leave again. I actually just kept reminding him that I loved him and that's helped.
What else?
Change of scenery helps for us. I try and always have some activities that we can turn to if things get rough. We go to the park, I take out a bunch of stamps and let him do that, or we put on some music.
Here's another thing - I notice that Elliott will really want to throw things sometimes. So I try to make sure when we're at the park he throws a ball if he wants to, or even dirt (obviously not at people!) or whatever, just to get that physical aggression out. I also try and carve out places/times where there are no rules. I try really hard to make bath time like that. It's not totally possible, since I can't let him stand up in the bath and jump or something, but for the most part I try and let him splash, and give him lots of cups so he can dump water in the bath, pour it all over, etc.
Do you give him warning when something's about to end? Like I'll say ok, we're watching Elmo once, and then we're turning off the tv. And he might get upset, but I just go ahead and turn the tv off and move on. I don't give the tantrum any attention.
My problem at the moment, actually, is Elliott throwing food on the ground. Actually, he's only done it a couple of times in the last few days, but it's annoying. I think I need to have him pick up the plate himself, but I keep forgetting and doing it first, and then trying to demand an apology. Not working out so well.
Anyway, what's helped a lot is for me to remain very calm. And well, going back to work has helped me have a little break so I can be calm when I get home. But I react differently depending on what's going on with Elliott. If it's just limit testing, that's one thing, but I know when I first get home from work, he's got mixed emotions about that. He's happy I'm home, but he's also a little annoyed I left in the first place (I think he's still getting over my little trip from last week). So I cut him some slack.
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I often tell Elliott, I know, it's hard to be you, and I actually mean it! All of those emotions and frustrations on the road to independence. It's tough. 
