My two year old is giving us a really rough time at nap/bedtime.
She's just been through a couple of transitions - new baby, new bed, but she seems otherwise excited about both. I think the fact that she moved into the bed right before DH went back to work has complicated things, but I could be wrong. Anyway, every time we put her into bed it's a 30-60 minute battle where she constantly wails for us..."Daddy/Mommy hold Ava" and other pathetic pleas to get us back in there. I am beyond worn out, as of course I'm jockeying back and forth trying to care for our newborn while all this is happening.
I've tried a star rewards chart for staying in bed when we tuck her in. Not interested. We try to wait a while before going back in to her. I think it's too late to revert back to the crib and she never wants it anyway so that's that. I don't know what else we can do. Any advice???
Hi Dziner. Is she getting out of her big girl bed or is she just calling for you? If she is getting out you could try the silent return. I think it's in the Weissbluth book, basically returning child to the bed without talking, smiling, etc. You might have to do it over and over again (like for an hour or more!), but I've heard that it works pretty well. We still have Grainne in her crib so I haven't had to deal w/bad bedtimes.
What happens if you don't go back in? I think you have to come up w/some system, like okay you can have one more book and then that's it, or something. I think she is probably too young for the sticker/progress chart thing.
I don't necessarily recommend this, and it may not work anyway but my son, still in a crib, likes for me to sit with him while he falls asleep, I actuall curl up and fall asleep in the glider. But my rule is he has to be quiet and go to sleep. If he talks to me or his animals or starts playing in his crib, I can't sleep and will have to go outside and watch him from there. This works a good deal of the time, though not always. If it works for you you could sit with the baby in her room while she falls asleep. I could see many reasons why this might not work for you, including jealousy over your time and sharing with the baby, but I thought I would throw it out there anyway.
We (one of us) stays with DS until he falls asleep too so that is the only suggestion I have. Although once you start this I can't imagine how hard it would be to break. We would definitley get tears and calling for us if we tried to leave after reading books to DS. With DS #2 due in one week I am sure I will be dealing with some issues just like you are now!
Sorry I don't have more advice.
She does get out, stands by the door and wails. I have tried the silent thing but I must admit I am usually too angry to be silent. She has never, ever been able to sleep with us there with her and that isn't something we would be able to do these days anyway.
This is what we do. We have established "quiet time"
I lie him on the couch/bed and close all window/drapes. Put on the classical music and sit with him and pretend to sleep myself, which sometimes is not pretend at all.
He's out in a couple of minutes. I know its hard in some families though where there is always noise and such.
Dziner, I could have written your post! My 2 year old just started doing this over the holidays. It's driving me absolutely crazy. I have a 6 month old AND my husband works second shift, so I'm dealing with it on my own and it is wearing me out. Last night I did the silent thing where I kept taking her back to bed. After an hour, she finally went to sleep.
I came really close to giving in to her, especially when she came in my room and told me "I sleep in mommies bed pease." with big tears in her eyes. We'll see how it goes tonight and if it gets any better. I'll let you know.
Its the anger thing - I bet what she wants is a response and your attention good or bad. I would try the silent return but try and stay even in your temperment.
My DD will often get jealous and use bad behaviour to get my attention even if it gets her in trouble. It is easier said then done but try and mask you emotions.
also my DD still takes paci's at night and when she will not lay down we give her two choices - she can go to bed with her pacis or go to bed! She is 2.5 and still doe not get that it is not a real choice so does she have a special item that you might be able to try that with?
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It's been a few weeks since our bedtime woes began, and though they still continue, they've gotten better at night.
The reason they are better is that Ava is too exhausted to play games because she isn't napping!!
This child is a reliable two hour napper. Today is day four where she is obviously tired but keeps walking around yammering on to herself in her room and won't sleep. Of course a well-timed poop adds to the mix. Her birthday party is in an hour and so DH took her outside this morning to tire her out, and then we fed her lunch early and got her into her room ready for bed by 12:15; she was getting cranky and definitely ready for sleep. Fast forward an hour later...I put her into her party dress and gave her to DH for a sleep-emergency car ride. She was out before he reached the end of our (very short) street! What is going on here? Anyone dealt with this?
My dd went through a very simialr sleep problem back in the fall. It was horrible at naps & nighttime. One night DH slept on her floor, a couple nights later I would sit on the chair in her room, few nights later on the floor right next to her door (I would crawl out when she fell asleep ), couple nights later outside her door but where she could hear us. Then it stopped as quickly as it started. Not sure if it was the baby steps out of her room or just some other force. It was horrible & I am not sure how you would manage it for naps with a newborn to care for too, but just what helped us get through. She also potty trained immeditaly after this ended & someone reminded me that sometimes their sleep gets off right before a big developmental milestone. I hope it gets better for you soon. Good luck!!!
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She has never, ever been able to sleep with us there with her and that isn't something we would be able to do these days anyway.
We'll see how it goes tonight and if it gets any better. I'll let you know.
), couple nights later outside her door but where she could hear us. Then it stopped as quickly as it started. Not sure if it was the baby steps out of her room or just some other force. It was horrible & I am not sure how you would manage it for naps with a newborn to care for too, but just what helped us get through. She also potty trained immeditaly after this ended & someone reminded me that sometimes their sleep gets off right before a big developmental milestone. I hope it gets better for you soon. Good luck!!!
