How hard was it to get your cat to accept a new kitten?

[Jennifer]

We have a 7 month old kitty - who we think needs a friend (we don't play chase quite fast enough or often enough for her ;) )...and we're bringing home a kitten (8 or 9 weeks old I think) this weekend. Our cat Annabelle is pretty social and not at all an "alpha" cat, so we think she'll be accepting eventually - but are a little concerned about the little one during the adjustment phase.

Any tips or advice - or plain old reassurance that this will work out? Since I've been an adult for one reason or another all of my cats have been "only children" so this is the first time I'm integrating 2 cats on my own!

[southerner]

be prepared for it to be a slow process (well, for us it was anyway). We kept the kitten locked up for a few days and switched blankets and such for them to each begin to know the other's smell. They were at the doors meowing at each other and sticking their paws under. Then, we'd let the kitten out and put our older cat in her room for a while. Then, we'd hold them while they sniff and hiss (they did lots of this at first) at each other.

It is supposed to be a gradual process. It took over a month for them to get used to each other and almost two months for us to trsut them enough to be out all day while we were at work.

They love each other now, but yes, it did take a while for there to be love ;)

Good luck, I think you are making the right decision by getting your cat a buddy!

[maxandmolly]

I kept mine seperated fora bout 3 days. I kept Max in the bathroom and let Molly continue to have the run of the apartment (I only had a studio apt at the time). I would bring Max out for limited periods of time to let him investigate, and her check him out. she would hiss, spit and aswat, he would stand there and stare at her til she stopped, then he went on with whatever he had been doing. The fourth day I had him, he was out, and Molly was starting to get pissy, so I put him away. Then she comes out of the kitchen , swinging her head back and forth, looking all around. Finally, I realized she was looking for him. I let him out, and never had to seperate them again. Within a week she was walking up to him, slinging a paw over him to keep him in place, and grooming him. (Good thing, too, because he had decided he didn't like being locked up and had begun meowing constantly to get out.)
Anyway, it ended up being the absolute best thing in the world I could have ever done for Molly. And it took a LOT less time than the behaviorist at the shelter thought it would, based on my descriptions of how bratty and demanding Molly could be.
Good luck!

[lawyergirl25]

Hmmm...I'm so glad someone posted this. DH and I are thinking that we need to get a playmate for our Max. I work a lot and DH is living in another city, so I think he needs a companion. Especially since I'm so tired when I get home that I don't play with Max as much as I should (we have good mommy-kitty time on the couch, but poor Max probably needs more interaction than that!).

DH has a 4-day weekend coming up, so we were thinking about going to the shelter this weekend to find another cat since DH will be around during the day to help them get used to each other and make sure they're doing okay together. After DH goes home, though, I'll be the only one home and I work long hours so I won't be able to observe them or keep them separated. I was hoping they'd be able to be around each other after the 4 days and my being gone all day wouldn't be an issue.

If I get another litter box, I can probably keep the two separated during the day by having one in the basement and one upstairs. I'd really hate to do that to them, but it's do-able.

I'm guessing I'm just going to have to play it by ear based on how they react to each other this weekend, huh?

[southerner]

Wow only a few days, huh?. Our vet told us to do it that slow. She said it was important for the first encounter(s) to be positive, esp. for the cat who already lives there. Maybe we did it too slow, but we also had the space to separate them (as opposed to a studio apartment) and schedules so that we were home and interacting with both alot.

lawyergirl25 it's nice to have the option of keeping them separated while you're at work, just in case and you don't want to take the "you have you get used to each other" approach and hope they work out their differences.

Also, I think the gender of cats makes a difference in how quickly this bonding process can happen. I think they say male-female pairs get along best.

Be sure to post pics of y'all's weekend family additions.

[JoM]

I lost one of my cats last fall and thought that my remaining cat, Meeko needed another playmate.

We thought that since Meeko was an 8 year old male, that a female kitten might be the best scenario. I was concerned that if we brought home another male, there would be a chance that one or both of them might spray.

We brought home an 8-week old calico. We placed Meeko on the three-season porch and brought the new kitten in and immediately placed her in a spare bedroom and closed the door. We then let Meeko back in. Of course, he immediately knew something was up.

We let them peek at each other through the door, but although Mitzi was willing to get to know him, Meeko would hiss at her and then run away. He was NOT happy.

We kept going in and out of the bedroom and Meeko would not be far behind. We let Mitzi out into the hallway and she immediately ran to Meeko, but he wasn't interested - he just hissed.

Finally, after about a week or so of letting them see each other through the door and very limited "visits," Meeko stopped hissing. About another week after that, I felt more comfortable leaving them together while I went to work for the day.

Just remember not to get discouraged, keep trying to let them get used to each other slowly. It could take as little as a few days, or a couple of weeks (as in my case), or even longer.

Good Luck!

[Jennifer]

Thanks for the advice! Sounds like it worked out for everyone (thank goodness!). We can keep the new baby in our bedroom while we are gone or don't have time to supervise until they get used to each other - but I know our current kitty (who definitely has the run of the place!) is going to be unhappy about losing part of "her" space - so hopefully they'll learn to play nicely soon!

I didn't realize male/female pairs were best - we've going to have two females (I'm not sure why, but DH seems to think females are friendlier and feels quite strongly about this...I actually think males are more affectionate - but I'm not going to fight him since I finally got him to agree to #2!).

I'll definitely post pictures...and am interested in any other experiences or tips folks have to share!

Thanks! :D

[southerner]

I didn't realize male/female pairs were best - we've going to have two females (I'm not sure why, but DH seems to think females are friendlier and feels quite strongly about this...I actually think males are more affectionate - but I'm not going to fight him since I finally got him to agree to #2!).

I'm not an authority on this, so take my suggestion for what that's worth. My male cat is much much more friendlier and affectionate than my female cat.

[Whitters20]

Our older cat (Miss Kitty) was about 5 months when we got Sheba (who was 10 weeks). Miss Kitty was not a happy camper for about a week. She hissed and ran away from Sheba and all poor Sheba wanted was to play. We left them out together when we were home and put Sheba in the bedroom for the first week when we weren't home. But it didn't take too long for them to start playing. And then they started taking naps together. :) Now, 4 years later, they love each other and Sheba is very co-dependent. She gets very worried if she can't find Miss Kitty. It's very cute.

[maxandmolly]

I didn't realize male/female pairs were best - we've going to have two females (I'm not sure why, but DH seems to think females are friendlier and feels quite strongly about this...I actually think males are more affectionate - but I'm not going to fight him since I finally got him to agree to #2!).
On that note, I have to say......due to crappy circumstances beyond my control, I had to move in with my best friend, her fiancee, and their two girl cats a couple years ago. Molly went from playful, friendly and affectionate (well, compared to how she was as a kitten) to dour, pissy, and hiding in the bedroom 90% of the time. She stopped grooming Max, refused to play with him. Shadow and Max got along fine. Smoky was as pissed at the arrangement as Molly. We lived with them for a full year, and the only time Molly came out of my bedroom was to use the litter box or eat. So, there really may be something to the male/female pairing. When we moved (with them) from one house to another, Molly panted, cried and was otherwise visibly miserable-she doesn't generally handle moves well, but this was EXTREME. When I finally moved back into my own place, within about 3 hours, she was playing with her mousies and chasing Max around the boxes.

[jnettie]

Well, maybe it's too late, but 2 females usually don't get along.

After 2 years, our 2 females still don't get along. They just tollerate each other.

BUT we did get an older female (4 or 5 yrs) after first having the kitten. So, Jade was 9 months when we broght home 4 year old Sissy. Maybe Jade didn't like that an older cat came into the house. I don't know.

But I think 2 kittens should be eaiser to assimilate than an adult and a kitten.

[lawyergirl25]

Well, I'm not worried about Max so much as I am worried about the new cat. We had to have my SIL take Max for a week while we were moving and Max pretty much just ignored her cat Kitty. Kitty would hiss and swat at Max, but Max would just walk away and do his own thing. I think that was all about being twice Kitty's size, though. I don't know how he'd react to another cat as big as he is.

It sounds like we should look into getting a female cat. I had no idea that male-female pairings would work better than same-sex pairings. We're probably going to adopt an adult either way, since kittens are so unpredictable.

[fuzzy]

Its different for every cat. BUt, yes, I do try and pair up opposite-sex pairs. It *tends* to work better, but its not a hard a fast rule.

Take everyone's advice and introduce them slowly. For some cats, it takes longer. For other cats, it could be a matter of days.

II had three male littermates when I brought it a fourth, female kitten. One of the males was fine after a few bouts of hissing and, eventually smelling. A second came around shortly thereafter. The third male? Ah, he's my alpha and he STILL will be awfully mean to the female. And its been two years! They tend to keep their distance from each other and no longer hiss constantly, but if given the chance, he'll pounce on her and whack with his paw (makes me very angry, to tell you the truth!).

[BethIrish]

Not to be a downer, but 2+ years later our older (female) cat still does not like our younger (male) cat. They have gotten better - but they are definitely not the best of friends.

[greenbunny]

Male/female is best. Male/male is second best. Female/female is worst. We didn't know this when we got our second female in August. She has been in and out of quarantine for behavioral problems ever since we got her. It has not been pretty--they hiss, bite, pee all over the house.

Once she can be let out we are going to "start over" with re-introducing them. I highly, highly recommend Cat Vs. Cat: Keeping Peace when you Have More than One Cat by Pam Johnson-Bennett. I got mine used on Amazon for about five dollars, but it is also sold at Petsmart. This woman is an animal behaviorist and has written several books on pet problem behavior.

Here is the book: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0142004758/qid=1131041703/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-9321578-9695335?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

[Jennifer]

Hmmm...feeling slightly nervous about our female to female introduction (we're fairly committed to the new female kitten - we agreed to take her from friends once she was old enough to come home with us so they haven't found her another home, they probably could, but I'm not sure how comfortable I am about "backing out"). We had mulitple females growing up though and while they weren't necessarily "lovey" with each other we never had cat fights or problems...so hopefully it will work out okay! (esp since our current kitty is still really young and seems to love everyone - she's super social and very friendly - rolling over on her back for everyone).

We've mostly been worried that our current cat would be too rough with a baby - I think I'll pick up the book greenbunny recommended as well and give it a quick read before they meet each other.

Hoping for peace - or at least tolerance!

[lawyergirl25]

Well, I've learned so far that Max is extremely territorial, which is not altogether unexpected. I think they'll be okay, but NK (New Kitty - he needs a new name because I *hate* Yancy) is pretty freaked out about moving into a new place and learning to deal with a hissing cat.

We've got NK hanging out in the basement and Max upstairs. When we brought NK home yesterday, we put him in the basement and let Max smell the cat taxi. He hung out there for awhile, but lost interest pretty quickly. NK wanted to hide at first, but he started exploring the basement within a few hours. He and Max were putting their paws under the door and sniffing at each other most of the night. Today we let them interact for the first time and NK and Max sniffed at each other for a second before Max hissed at him a few times. NK just continued to sniff at him, but then Max started to growl, so we separated them again.

I don't know if we're doing this right. Should we not let them interact quite yet? Should we not be so quick to separate them when Max gets territorial? I'm obviously keeping them apart during the day while I'm at work, and I'll let them spend time together only when I'm home, but I'm not sure of the limits.

I really should have researched this before we brought NK home.

[maxandmolly]

The way I did it, I seperated them after letting them interact when Molly was hissing and spitting in an overly aggressive way. But it's so hard to really tell, or know the right things to do. You're the momma, trust your instincts.
Did they do ok pawing at each other under the door, or did your Max seem overly agressive about it? Is NK a kitten or an adult cat?

[lawyergirl25]

NK is a very young adult - he just turned 1. Max is 3, if that matters.

They seemed okay pawing under the door, like they were just curious. That's why I thought letting them interact would be okay. I think it'll be okay, we're going to let them chill by themselves for the rest of the night and then DH will let NK out for awhile tomorrow while he's home in the morning. When I get home from work, depending on how it goes in the morning, I'll let them play together again and go from there I guess.

[maxandmolly]

I would say if they're doing ok through the door, let the little one out and see what happens. It doesn't sound like it'll be too long before they adjust to each other, they're both still pretty young. Molly was 2 when I brought Max home. And the behaviorist people at the shelter were very sure, that absolutely, under no circumstances, would she accept a new kitten quickly, if at all, based on my descriptions of her demanding, snotty behavior. 3 days, and they were sleeping on the same pillow.
Sounds like it's going pretty well, congrats on your new baby!

[lawyergirl25]

Well, I thought I'd let you all know that these two are thick as thieves now. I kept them separated for 5 days, and had them eat on opposite sides of the basement door and had them smell towels I had rubbed on the other cat. I let them see each other on Friday and Max hissed and growled a bit, but he calmed down pretty quickly. They started sniffing each other and then Max must have decided NK was okay, because he laid down next to NK like he was going to nap. Just like that! He sure is fickle. :)

Now when I get home, Max lays next to me on the couch and NK lays behind my head. It's really cute. I should get pics of NK before he gets fat like Max. ;)

Anyway, thanks for the advice. Our little kitty family seems to be doing quite well.

[greenbunny]

x posted by suggestion of southerner.

This is more detail after fully reading the book I suggested earlier in this thread, plus info from the non-profit org Cats International. Glad to see you're having luck, lawyergirl, so I'll just include this for anyone searching for this topic in the future.

This is very watered down and basic, just as a CMA. :o

There are three steps to introducing new cats:

1. Scent
2. Sight
3. Counter-conditioning (positive training)


Start by keeping the new cat quarantined in a separate room. This will help ease his anxiety by giving him limited access to new environments. It will also allow you to monitor him for any signs of disease that could be transmitted to your other cats.

Once he has a clean bill of health (pending vet visits and the time period your vet recommends, usually 1 or 2 weeks) you can begin the scent exchange. Give the new cat and your resident cats socks to cuddle with. Once they've had a few days with them, switch the socks so they start picking up each others' scent. Gradually increase the size of the item--move up to tee shirts or old towels, for example.

Then take the new cat out of the room and move him to another room temporarily. Give your resident cats access to his former quarantine room so they can explore his scent further. Don't force them, but allow them to discover the newly-scented room on their own.

Eventually move up to sight access. Do not allow the cats physical access to each other, but put up a barrier such as a screen door or baby gate, or put the new cat in a large pet crate. Do this for limited amounts of time, starting from a few minutes a few times per day and working up as time passes. Let their behavior be your cue--if they seem very upset or threatened, back off and go more slowly.

Next the cats should be taught then when they're around each other, good things happen. This is counter-conditioning. So play with the new cat while having someone else play with your resident cats right outside the quarantine room, or else feed them at the same time on opposite sides of the door. They should hear each other playing or eating and therefore realize that each other = treats.

Next begin allowing them access. Let the new cat out for a few minutes at a time, then put him back. Always end the session on a good note if possible. Don't force longer interaction if they get annoyed. It's better to stop while they're still in curious mode.

If one cat is clearly an aggressor, put him on a leash and harness to control the interaction better.

The timeline of this will vary greatly depending on the cats. It could take a week or a month, you have to go by their cues. There are a lot of little things I've left out, but the literature I've read deals with introductions over several chapters and including everything word for word would be impossible (as well as plagarism).

[Jennifer]

I have to admit we had 2 rough weeks where we really wondered if we'd made a mistake - but our two girls are best buddies now :)

[enchantingdragon]

So its Day 1 1/2 of bringing Dexter home. http://www.petfinder.org/fotos/NJ220/NJ220.5166087-1-x.jpg My babies, Griffin and Hunter, http://images.snapfish.com/345784%3B523232%7Ffp63%3Dot%3E232%3A%3D%3B8%3A%3D3 7%3A%3DXROQDF%3E2323759699744ot1lsi have not taken too well to the new arrival. They took one snif of his carrier and ran away into hiding. Hunter spent most of the night under the bed growling and hissing but still letting us pet him. Griffin on the other hand moved to various spots ending up on his cat tower in the living room alternating between being sweet and letting you touch him to hissing and trying to paw you away from him. In the middle of the night I encounterd a squabble between the two of them, hissing and a lil batting from Griffin, but by early morning when I went to check on them they were on the tower together. In the morning Hunter and I had a nice long cuddle fest while Griffin watched but did not approach. Several times I saw them approcah the bedroom and stick their heads in but run away. The carrier which I took Dexter home in is sitting in the bedroom and I think they smell it and think he is also in the bedroom. Dexter came from a barn with 17 other cats, 4 horses, and a goat so I think some of that lingering barn smell is on him and the carrier making the boys more confused as to what kind of animal has come to their home. I decided to move Dexter into the ebdroom since the boys assumed he is there anyway and left the bathroom door open where he was alst night so the boys can investiaget his previous living quarters. I know in the end this will probably work out for the best and we will end up with 3 super kitties but right now its just rbeaking my heart! Dexter's cries when he is alone break my heart and when my boys hiss and wont let me cuddle them breaks it too. Any input would be great as of now!

[Jennifer]

This is the kind of stuff that happened when we brought Charlotte home...the kitten was upset and wouldn't hang with us...and our first kitty was SO angry and obsessed she wouldn't let us pet her. We were beside ourselves!!! I almost called it quits and said we could only have one kitty. We made sure to put Charlotte in a room where they could "play paws" under the door - Charlotte wanted to play with Annabelle - and Annabelle (our originally kitty) was attacking the baby...agh! It took about 2 weeks and all of a sudden they started wanting to play...and both wanted to be petted.

My best advice is keep trying to give everyone lots of attention - and give it some time. It really does get better!

[greenbunny]

bump for TracieB

[TracieB]

Thanks for the bump! My mom just took the new kitten (about 2 months) to the vet... we'll probably going to introduce her to the other cat (about 3 years) when she gets back. I'll be back to post what happens.

[justHB]

Our cat Dakota showed signs of being interested in other cats when we moved in with DH's parents for a few months about 5 years ago. She would follow MILs cats around and wanted to play. When we got our own place, we brought home Miles, an 8 week old boy kitten. We followed all the rules and suggestions and for whatever reason, Dakota decided she hated him. She still does to this day. Our house is filled with a lot of hissing and swatting, but Miles will not give up. He loves Dakota and will follow her around, trying to play. She hates him though and will not relent. It's so sad to see Miles' unrequited love. Some cats just don't want a friend, I guess.

[Lauren]

Just bumping this thread up -- I found it with a search, and the info in here has been really helpful.

We got a new kitten about 2 months ago, and our first kitty still growls and hisses at him. Although Trinity (who is 4.5 years old and kind of a princess) generally tolerates Indy (who is 6 months old now), she just seems annoyed by his presence in her house. I ordered Cat vs. Cat, which looks like it might have some helpful suggestions for getting us over this hump. Thank goodness Indy is very friendly and easy-going, because it has to get trying being constantly put in place by Trinity. We are still keeping him in the den at night to give Trinity a bit of a respite, since she seems stressed (and he doesn't seem to mind).

[Heidi9771]

I have brought two kittens in (at two separate instances,) each is succession with older cats (age three and four.)

Usually it takes a few weeks for things to get into a groove with our new kitten family members and the the adult cats.

There is total freaking out for the first week, and then they get over it. Now, they are all grown up- and BEST friends.