Yoga Mama - Are you this kind of parent?

[marchfamily]

Interesting article in Business Week

Link: http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/05_45/b3958110.htm


In Hot Pursuit Of Yoga Mama
She's busy and choosy. But reach her, and you tap into her network of friends, too

Two-year-old Casandra King's bedroom is stocked with products that are very different from those her mother, Julia, had when she was that age. Instead of Johnson & Johnson (JNJ ) Baby Oil and Vaseline (UL ), the Edison (N.J.) toddler gets slathered daily with petroleum-free lotions from California Baby. Her mom pays three times the price of the mass brands. And Casandra's dresser is filled with organic cotton shirts and pajamas from niche marketers such as Hanna Andersson and Mama's Earth, which can cost 50% more than clothes from Sears (SHLD ), where Julia's mother shopped for four kids 35 years ago.

Julia King, 38, is part of an emerging class of women whom marketers call Yoga Mamas. These middle- and upper-income mothers are more style- and brand-conscious than their parents. No matter their income, they spend like lottery winners on their babies and toddlers. In the process, they're revolutionizing the baby-products market and forcing manufacturers and retailers of all sizes to adjust.

From the start, they are focused on active, fashionable, and fit pregnancies, and then on the fitness and well-being of their offspring. They tend to be more educated and have more disposable income to spend on fewer children than past generations. As a result, the $27 billion infant and preschool products business is growing more than 4% per year, faster than the overall toy, apparel, and furniture industries. "This group is influencing other moms who have money and plenty of moms who don't," says Timothy Dowd, a senior analyst at market research firm Packaged Facts. "Yoga Mama is pumping up sales across the board."

Marketers say the evidence is in the brisk sales of premium-priced products: Burt's Bees Buttermilk lotion is $8.99 and a top seller at drugstore.com; $11.50 buys a 2 oz. jar of popular California Baby Calendula Cream at Whole Foods Market (WFMI ); Italian leather toddler shoes are $129 at Nordstrom (JWN ); Bugaboo strollers Yoga moms love for ergonomic design and brand cachet are $700 and up. And the appeal is well beyond Rodeo Drive and Manhattan's Upper East Side, where baby-bling-buying includes Gund brand diamond and emerald jewelry for newborns.

Please follow the link for the rest of the article: http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/05_45/b3958110.htm

[Jaycee]

OK, I'll bite. I will admit that while I'm not 100% what this article describes, I would probably fall into this category. This line probably said it best for me:

"These mothers aren't buying baby products so much as extending their lifestyle to their babies,"

I love nice things and while I'm all for a good discount or bargain, I tend to lean towards the higher end products and thats not going to change when buying for my child.

[Littlelamb11]

yup, that's me...and every other mom in my town.

ETA: as far as the product buyinh mentioned, we spend more but nothing i would consider ridiculous. you won't see me buying a $700 stroller ($350-$400ish sure) or $125 toddler shoes (I've spent $50-$60ish). but i do gravitate to the higher end products in general and we do tend to buy the same quality products for DD as we do for ourselves.

[Sarah]

Nope, not me at all. I would never spend that kind of money on my child or myself.

[RileyMom]

Hmmmm....I guess I'm a mix. I do tend to buy organic/natural whenever possible, but typically only in the areas of food and DD's "toiletry" items. (I use Burts Bees products, and I use a lot of Earths Best products, buy organic milk, Annies MacnCheese, etc) For clothes, I tend to go the cheaper route (Target/Walmart, thrift stores). So I don't know where that puts me. And we are definitely NOT in the "upper level" yuppie class. We are a paycheck-to-paycheck family.

[maggieb]

I fall into the right age groups for Yoga Mamas and the right income group, but I am not a Yoga Mama. I have never bought California Baby, or any other expensive baby cleansing product, clothes from Target, Old Navy and Wal-Mart are fine by me (Baby Gap is considered expensive in our house), our stroller was $220 and I thought that was a huge splurge and it's the only stroller we've owned in 2 years. We buy cheapy Huggies dipes, drive a Honda, which is our only car, and I shop at Whole Foods occassionally. The girls do have a lot of toys, but DH and I have bought about 3 of the toys thanks to grandparents. I am socially and technologically networked, but I don't buy high-end products for my kids. Our disposable income goes to a home equity loan, extra $ into retirement and lots of $ towards 2 college funds every month.

For me personally, it's silly to spend so much money on expensive products for kids.

[postkalidurga]

I'd say we're a mix too. We've bought a pretty high end car seat and expensive cloth diapers but pretty much everything else has been cheap (Ikea change table), or consignment (every article of clothing purchased so far except socks). Basically, we like quality for our money but are also a bit anti-consumer. It makes sense to us to buy something that costs more if it will last longer or if it would be a potential danger to purchase it second hand (like a car seat), but otherwise we are pretty cheap and buy as little as possible.

[marchfamily]

What I find funny - I buy developmental toys with all the bells and whistles. What does DD gravitate towards? The cheapest toys we have.

http://store1.yimg.com/I/playthingspastllc_1869_2587387

http://froogle.google.com/froogle_image?q=http://www.pointshop.com/id-1875/ImgUpload/P_908729_974035.jpg&size=4&dhm=3c74b623&hl=en

[Natrat80]

I am not a yoga mommy. Although I like nice things for myself and my family I will not pay $$$ for a baby item that will be used for maybe 2 years. DD has a whole hand me down wardrobe (from a yoga-mom :D so they are all very nice!). The clothes I have bought her have come from Target or a second hand shop. The most expesive thing we have purchased for DD would be her nursery furniture that converts and will last her many years.

I do like organic products like Burt's Bees for DD (and myself) and we have spent some money on Fuzzi Bunz cloth diapers.

I stay at home, so we don't have lots of extra money to buy extravagent things. And we're quite happy with the used/inexpensive things we have!

[BTB]

Definitely not! I'm happy with most products I buy, but don't have to have the best this or poshest that, so I don't feel badly buying regular ol' baby stuff for DD too. An occasional splurge, sure. Hence DD's Britax Boulevard car seat. But $129 shoes for toddlers? Ridiculous, IMNSHO. :)

[carolc]

The more expensive ones are the brand leaders. Is it because they are better? Does it really matter what kind of diaper a baby craps in? Or is there just something about buying Pampers over say.. the Walmart brand.

Actually--we're only occasional disposable diaper users (Nora is mostly in cloth) and recently we bought a pack of a cheap brand (not Pampers, which is what we usually get) to use while away from home, and I was surprised by how bad the quality was! I kind of assumed there was no difference, but man, there is. They didn't fit her right and they leaked and felt really rough.

We buy clothes wherever, but I LIKE those expensive organic clothes...does that make me a wannabe Yoga Mama? ;) And we use Burt's Bees diaper cream and soap, but we've probably spent a grand total of $25 on them since Nora was born....they take a long time to use up!

I would never spend that much for shoes or a stroller, though.

[catmom]

Well, I bought the expensive britax carseat, and I like to feed DD organic baby food (homemade or jarred). But that's about it. I would have to go back to work to buy the rest of that stuff! And honestly, all DD's clothes are stained with carrots and sweet potatoes anyway, what difference does it make how fancy they are? I'd rather her stain a cheap tshirt from old navy than an expensive designer one. This way the flying food doesn't bother me so much :).

[Bloomwood]

I am all for spending money on quality, but there needs to be a distinction between quality and materialism. There is no part of me that could ever justify $129 for toddler shoes (per the article).

DH and I eat organic, whole foods as often as possible and try to use natural products, so I will definitely do that with dc, too. Along the same lines, we will pay up for a Volvo for the security of safety, but I could never imagine buying a Porche Cayenne. Does that make sense? I'll pay for quality and design/function, but not for a brand alone. (disclaimer, this isn't always true as I do happen to love my Jimmy Choos ;), but my dc will not be wearing Jimmies or even those UGG baby boots)

[kimthebride]

Hm. I am not a big fan of how the article has a negative attitude towards "yoga mamas", and says:
From the start, they are focused on active, fashionable, and fit pregnancies, and then on the fitness and well-being of their offspring.
as if it were a bad thing to feel good about yourself while preggers.

OF COURSE I am going to eat healthy and exercise during pregnancy. Everyone I know who ate whatever they wanted kept excessive unhealthy weight on waaaaay long and were miserable for it.
OF COURSE I am going to keep active after the baby comes and try things like baby yoga to try to stretch and stimulate and relax him like it does for me. A certain lifesyle made me a better, more mellow person. I'd like to pass that onto my children.

And yes, we have a good income and save very well...so why should it be a bad thing that we research and buy the best we can? If Britax gets fabulous reviews, why not get it?

I am a bit of a dichotomy, because I love quality but I also love paying as little for it as possible. So yes, I do have two diaper bags over $100 each, but one was a gift and both are so organized it's incredible. But I also buy most of his clothes at Target or on sale at other stores.

I'd consider myself a yoga mama, but defintiely put in a more positive light than the article seems to portray. :)

[Sarah]

If you read the rest of the article, I think the attitude makes sense. He says that some studies have shown a correlation between indulgence as a child (getting whatever you want, or getting too much "stuff") and other problems later in life, such as obesity.

Even if I had that much money, I wouldn't buy that stuff for me or my DC.

[Jaycee]

If you read the rest of the article, I think the attitude makes sense. He says that some studies have shown a correlation between indulgence as a child (getting whatever you want, or getting too much "stuff") and other problems later in life, such as obesity.

Even if I had that much money, I wouldn't buy that stuff for me or my DC.
That was the part I had the biggest problem with. Since when does buying\consuming quality or higher end goods equate with over indulgence and getting whatever you want? Just because I prefer a certain brand doesn't mean I don't know how to say no.

[LeslieR]

Let me just say that I'm with the pp that said they consider Gap clothes expensive. Obviously some items are worth paying more money for, but with the amount of spit up and poop that gets on baby clothes in a day let alone a week, clothing is not one of those items! Not to mention how fast he grows out of his clothes. $129 shoes? I think not. Try $8.99 off of ebay. I think the only stuff we paid what I would consider a lot of money for was the nursery furniture and we did that with the thought that it should last DS until he moves out of our house. "High end" baby soap and lotion? I don't think so. I don't even buy that for myself. I think you can have nice stuff without spending a fortune.

[Pookie]

For me, it depends on the item. DS has really bad eczema, so we have to use special bath wash and lotion. Would I buy it if he didn't have eczema? No, but it's something he needs. Yes we have the Britax, but it's the safest carseat. DH and I both consider that money well spent. I'm kind of torn on diapers. I prefer Crusiers, but if DH is there we just get Baby Dry cause he doesn't think there is a difference. However the Target wipes seem very similiar to Huggies wipes to me, so it's not worth the extra $. There's no way I would spend $150 on toddler shoes. My mom's rule was always once you stop growing, then we can buy more expensive clothing/shoes that will last for awhile. DS does have some upper end clothing items, but those have all been gifts. (He's the first grandchild on both sides.) I guess I'm saying I'd like DS to learn balance. There are some things that are worth the $ and others that aren't and being able to know the difference.

[SingleWhiteFemale]

I feel that there is a strong difference between choosing a product for reliability/stability/quality/safety and having it to impress. IMNSHO, it seems that it's no longer the idea of "I want a quality, cool item so there is a premium to pay" but instead "everyone else has it, so I deserve to have it too (regardless of the fact I can't afford it)." The entitlement factor at its best. I absolutely don't want to knock those who can afford the "upscale brands," and buy such because they want to and can afford it. I take issue with those who purchase such to "one up" others, which it seems that this market is driven by and heck, all about. But, this article bugs me... buried in the last paragraph, "there's a fine line between hyper-conscientious shopping and outright materialism." The Business Week article is missing a key point about this being about "so much as extending their lifestyle to their babies"--if these people can actually afford such a lifestyle. How many Americans are keeping up a lifestyle just to impress others, while drowning in "bad" debt and continually digging themselves deeper? Yes, the article is talking about middle and upper-class shoppers, but how many are leading a lifestyle they cannot afford (and the answer is: more and more, here's a breakdown of average debt by age group (http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Banking/Yourcreditrating/P120358.asp)

Today's Dr. Phil episode strikes me as related to this article. Not that eery child who has high-priced, luxury baby items is going to turn into a spoiled, entitled brat, but where does it end? And then they take their "lifestyle" and extend it to their kids? Yikes. One woman spends $60-100, 4 times a week, at the toy store. That's $12,480-20,800 annually just on toys! For those with the $50-200k annual income (that in the BW article), that's a significant chunk. There were two teenagers on the show, and this is the basic jist of one:
Dear Dr. Phil,

My 14-year-old daughter, Jacquie, needs a reality check. I'm a single mom working two jobs, and her material desires just out-bling my bucks. School has become about what to wear, and me-and-mom time, about yeah, you know, shopping.

It's like she tasted that secret poison. She's a media baby. I'm afraid she's becoming more and more shallow and judgmental.

I need some help out here in label land. These labels mean prestige and superiority. Can you say Abercrombie, go fish?

Dr. Phil, how do I take it away and not kill her spirit?

Jacquie, who has many pairs of $70 pants and wears $250 Valentino sunglasses, shares her thoughts. "At my school, you just have to wear a certain thing to be accepted," she says. "If it looks cheap, I just don't want to wear it. I just like nicer things."And the other, a 13 yr old boy:
Parker wants to have more than his friends have. "I want to be better than them. I want to get new stuff constantly," he says. "A lot of kids at school hate me because I'll brag about what I have. The kids say, 'Your parents just hand stuff to you. We actually have to work for it, rich boy.'"
...
"There's a lot of work in convincing my mom to get me what I want. I don't take no for an answer. I'll keep begging her until she finally breaks down. I think she definitely has a soft spot for me," admits Parker. He describes a tactic he uses with his mom. "Sometimes I'll use the fact that I'm an only child against my mom. Make her feel sorry about it," he says. "I want a new flat-screen TV, and that way when I go to bed it's not warped when I look at it. I know I don't deserve it, but I just ask for it and it comes ... There's a difference between spoiled and being spoiled rotten. I think I'm more leaning toward the spoiled rotten side, because sometimes I'll brag about the stuff I have."

More at www.drphil.com

Disclaimer: I'm not a parent, but stumbled on this thread, and just was compelled to click. After seeing today's Dr. Phil, I had to respond :)

[tgray99]

I buy my daughter nice things if I feel the price is worth it, ie, the Britax Marathon in my car, I buy it. If I want something nice for her but don't feel the price is worth it, ie, Gymboree clothes, I go to Ebay or the clearance racks and will only get it if it's on a good sale.

As a child, I had to work to have luxury items. My parents would buy me jeans, if I wanted Guess or Cavaricci or Girbaud, I had to save for the difference. I love finding good bargains and will rarely buy regular price. I want my daughter to learn that too. I think frugality is a good lesson for someone being born into the "I'm alive so I deserve it" generation.

I guess I'm not really a Yoga-Mama.

[kimthebride]

I think it's also what you do, not what you buy.

My plan for every time this kid gets presents on holidays and birthdays, is to donate something he doesn't use to kids in need. And when he's old enough, for him to pick out the toys to donate, then come with me to give them to the kids. IMO kids need to understand that there is a big old world out there and it does not revolve around them, or around materialistic things. Yes, my son will have nice things in life if his dad and I deem it sensible to buy them. But those purchases will not make him a bad person someday. There is more to child rearing than shopping.

I think what really bugs me is the term. I always considered a "Yoga Mama" to be a mom who brings her child up with the yoga conscience: grounded, centered, peaceful, and aware of his/her relationship with the environment and world. For this article (which I did read in entirety) to put a negative spin on "yoga" I think is unfair to those are are true yoga mamas.

[linda_loo]

I don't think I'm a Yoga Mom at all. I care about what I dress my children and what I feed them, but I spend within our means, and that isn't part of this target group of consumers.

Still, there's a fine line between hyper-conscientious shopping and outright materialism. The babycenter.com survey showed 54% of those with household income between $50,000 and $200,000 said they have been splurging on high-end baby clothing and gear even when bargain brands are also available. Too much of that could backfire on their kids. David Bredehoft, chairman of the department of social and behavioral sciences at Concordia University in St. Paul, Minn., has studied adults overindulged as children. Those showered with toys, gear, and clothes later developed low self-esteem that manifested itself in overeating.

"Too much of that could backfire on their kids"??? How about on the family? IMO, if you are making that kind of money/year, it's just not fiscally sound to spend like that. I know of a few moms that frequently complain about money and the amount of debt that they have... but their children are dressed in the current season's (not clearance) Gymboree or Hanna Andersson from head to toe. I can't help but wonder how they will possibly keep up with this lifestyle that they have established for their children. A couple more years of this kind of spending, they could be bankrupt. They will also be setting their children up for a lifetime of bad spending habits.

We are in that household income group. For the most part, we do not splurge on high-end baby clothing and gear. We bought Britaxes and Evenflos because they were rated safest and we bought a Pali crib, Maclaren strollers because they best fit our lifestyle (and when we did, we got them on sale, with coupons and I used eBay money that I earned from selling outgrown baby stuff.. the crib was 2nd hand). Generally speaking, we purchase items that are within our budget. We don't go into debt for anything but a house and a car, and we save. I buy what we can afford, sometimes that is a high quality item purchased (on sale, on clearance, at an outlet, 2nd hand) and sometimes it is from Target.

As for organic... I was just talking with dh last night about organics. I can't understand how a jarred tomato sauce (Prego's new organic) that has been commercially farmed, canned and driven (wasting gas) across the country is much better than the average non-organic. How about buying tomatoes from the local farmer and canning them yourself? Now that is organic. Somehow, I doubt you will find a Yoga Mom canning her own tomatoes. ;)

[PaulsGirl]

Well, I'm somewhere in the middle. I buy myself luxury bath items, so I bought California Baby and Mustela for DD. After she was born, I tried them all out. We liked some products that were high end, but honestly I like the Johnson & Johnson's stuff a lot after trying it out, so we use that.

We spent $300 on her Peg Perego P3 stroller, so that was a splurge. The Britax car seat was a gift, though I would have bought it had it not been.

As far as clothes, I'm so guilty! I buy a majority of her clothes from Janie & Jack. Gymboree is 'okay' to me, and my mom loves to buy from there for her, but J&J is where a majority of her clothes that I buy come from. Occassionally I'll see something at Babystyle, but the quality there is hit and miss. Now for onesies/sleepers and things I buy Carter's because the quality is great. I just discovered Hanna Andersson, and I have a few things I have my eye on & will probably buy, but I know that the items there last a really long time & wash well.

Diapers, we buy whatever is on sale. We tried the Kroeger brand once and it wasn't too bad actually. I'd use it again.

She's still FF, but when it's time to introduce solids we'll make our own, but if I go with jarred for some things it will be Earth's Best.

[lee60657]

Wow! Those Dr. Phil excerpts are scary! I would say that I am somewhere in the middle, DD has nice things, i.e, a Bugaboo, clothes from J & J and boutiques (she even has some Uggs ;) but I would NEVER pay $129 for her shoes!!, but she also has things from Target and TJ Maxx. She also wears Carters sleepers, not the $45 french designer ones I often see at boutiques. I also buy on sale when I can. We use Gerber products, but I do buy expensive diaper cream (Triple Paste) b/c it works the best. And I don't really consider her Britax carseat outrageous b/c it has to do with her safety.

All that said, I do worry about spoiling her whether it be with clothes or toys, etc. It is hard sometimes and I am often thinking about the effect all of her nice things may have on her in the future. I guess I am just trying to find some balance. I want DD to have nice things, but on the other hand I don't want her to grow to expect and not appreciate the things she has, KWIM?

[SiValleySteph]

$50,000-$200,000 is a large income range. $200k/year is something like only 5% of households in the US and I think $50k/year is more like the median.

My kid has a $150 tricycle. I think that's his main luxury. :)

We do use Pampers Cruisers. I don't really think that qualifies as a splurge. I mean, really, the kid need diapers and I don't feel like it's worth my time to shop around and shop coupons or whatever. He only uses about $50 worth of diapers a month, so it's not a biggie. We do use Lansinoh wipes, but only about $4 worth a month, so how is that a big deal? Same with bath products - we do use J&J, but we've had the same bottle of bath wash for his entire life and it's still not close to being finished! I don't worry that I'm leading him into a life long brand obsession.

But then again, his clothes are mostly Target and Children's Place. :)

I really see things like this as only a problem when you are buying things you can't afford. Of course, that seems to be a large portion of America judging by these articles you always see about average household credit card debt. Personally, we have no debt except for our mortgage and have plenty of savings, so I don't worry too much about what we spend. But then again, I am pretty frugal. :)

[onomatopoeia]

I guess I'm not a yoga momma.

My mom has bought all the diapers for DS since he was born. She gets Pampers and Huggies. At 1st she bought some Target and Walmart brand, and they leaked so she didn't buy anymore of those. She buys whatever wipes are on sale and I don't complain b/c hey, they are free.

As for clothes, again my mom has been great. Most of the clothes she buys for him are from Target and Walmart. Once in awhile we'll go crazy and buy from Babygap, children's place, etc. Thankfully, my SIL kept all the clothes from her son and she has sent A LOT to me. Most of it's Ralph Lauren, Babygap, etc. and many of DS's cutest outfits are from her. I feel lucky in that regard. All the clothes are in excellent condition.

My son has excema, so we had to use Cetaphil lotion and wash which is more expensive then J&J. But if he didn't have the skin condition, I'd use J&J... and now that his skin has gotten a lot better, I alternate between the 2.

I see it as - buy him a cute outfit that's $50-100 or put that $$ in his 529 (college savings account) and into our own savings. Right now he doesn't care what he wears, what he's pooping in, etc. but when he's older like 15, he will want to wear the "hottest" shoes, the "coolest" clothes, and even though I am not going to buy him everything he wants, I think that if we save now, we will be able to afford more later on. I also hope that he appreciates all the saving we have done so he can go to college w/ out worrying about taking out loans.

We have no debt besides our 2 cars and our house and my school loans that I just took out to get my masters and I wouldn't go into debt to get my son name brand shoes, clothes, or lotion.

~ as far as food, I do want to start buying more organic foods. But if it broke our budget, I'd settle.

[HGMorgann]

I am frugal. But I like quality too. We do a lot of organic stuff......but that is for our health. I figure we will pay for it in grocery bills or co-pays for the doctor, so I would rather pay at the grocery store!

We like our Baby Trend stroller. It was not an expensive or trendy one, but it does the job and strolls and manuevers wonderfully.

We also like our Kelty Kids carrier - but we got it new at a consigment shop for 1/3 the price.

Clothes - I have no idea where most of them come from because they are gifts. We have lots of doting grandparents and friends. When I do buy her clothes, I like Old Navy or Gap, on sale. I like the quality and we recieved a ton of Old Navy and Gap hand-me-downs from a friend and they looked new even after being worn by 2 kids, so that convinced me:-)

I just don't really understand the connection between the organic part of the article verses Bugaboo strollers. Wouldn't ya rather sling if you ate organic? ...just continuing the stereotyping here:-)

[Sarah]

Yes we have the Britax, but it's the safest carseat.

I say this not to say anything against you, or the other people who said this, but to reassure mamas who couldn't afford a Britax: Britaxes are not the safest. I mean, yes, they are rated the highest, but so is the Triumph, which is only around 100 dollars. I just don't want anyone with a different carseat to worry that they were endangering their kids.

I wouldn't let my children buy expensive items (designer jeans, 300 dollar shoes, fancy hair/body products), even if they paid for them themselves. I am surprised that so many people don't see anything wrong with spending 20 dollars on lotion, or 700 dollars on a stroller.

Each to his own, I suppose.

[Jaycee]

I am surprised that so many people don't see anything wrong with spending 20 dollars on lotion, or 700 dollars on a stroller.


Just curious, but what surprises you about it? I think people pay for a percieved value, and if I feel like a lotion is worth $20, or a stroller is worth $700 (I didn't buy a $700 stroller by the way), then why is it so wrong to spend my money on things that I want?

[Sarah]

Jaycee-
I don't want to get into personal beliefs too much. I will say that I personally (sort of connected to religion) would feel uncomfortable spending that kind of money on say, a 20$ lotion. I don't judge you for doing so, I just wouldn't do it myself, and am surprised, I guess. I guess I just feel that just because it's your money, which you worked hard for and earned, doesn't make it okay to waste.

eta- I phrased my last sentence badly. I should have said that what constitutes waste is a personal thing, and relative, to some extent. Because compared to many people, my spending would be wasteful. I mean, we all could be living on bread and water and living in tents. I don't mean to say I think you specifically are wasteful, just that it wouldn't feel right to me.

[Jaycee]

Jaycee-
I don't want to get into personal beliefs too much. I will say that I personally (sort of connected to religion) would feel uncomfortable spending that kind of money on say, a 20$ lotion. I don't judge you for doing so, I just wouldn't do it myself, and am surprised, I guess. I guess I just feel that just because it's your money, which you worked hard for and earned, doesn't make it okay to waste.
See, and I don't think of it as wasting money at all. I'd rather spend my money on something that I want which I percieve to have more value to me, then something that costs less and I'm not thrilled with. I feel like spending any amount of money on something that I don't want is a waste.

ETA: I never feel like I'm wasting my money. I'm constantly looking for sales and discounts on the things that I want. I would'nt pay more for something that I know I can get somewhere else for less. Who doesn't love a bargain? In the same token, I would never just buy something based on the fact that it's on sale and it's a great price unless it was something I wanted.

[ellybelle]

I've splurged on a few things (strollers, an ocassional cute Gap or Gymboree outfit etc.) and I do use Mustela hair and body wash for baths (the stuff is sooo much gentler on DDs hair than regular baby shampoo, and it lasts for months). We also have a pricey all terrain stroller that I can use for jogging or walking on dirt roads. If something is clearly needed or better, I'm all for it. And it is nice to dress up my little girl every once in a while -- especially since I don't feel much like dressing myself up!

But I buy Huggies at Costco, play clothes at Target, toys at garage sales, kid furniture at Ikea, and have no problems with accepting hand-me-downs. I fed her regular baby food or mashed stuff up myself, and most of the organic produce she gets is the stuff that comes from our backyard!

It does bother me a bit to see people who use their kids as a way of "keeping up with the Joneses," (or nowadays, the Brittneys and Courtneys and Madonnas!) I mean, if you really need it, like it and can afford it, fine, but....

[lee60657]

This is a very interesting thread. Speaking as someone with a $700 stroller, I can say that it was a "splurge" but it is all relative. I certainly don't think there is anything wrong with it. I feel that I have gotten my $'s worth and then some out of my stroller, so to me it was not a waste, what has been a waste is the little $20 toys and gadgets that DD has never really used. I use my stroller multiple times a day and I have since DD was born. More importantly, I got my stroller b/c after much research and discussion, DH and I decided that it was the best stroller for our needs, not because we are trying to keep up with or impress anyone. Plus, where I live my stroller is "run of the mill" so its not like I would be impressing anyone, even if I wanted to ;) I will stop there, b/c it sounds like I am trying to justify my purchases which isnt the point. I guess what I am saying is that people buy what they buy for their own reasons, we shouldn't make assumptions based on their stroller, their lotion or what their kids are wearing. That said, I don't expect everyone to agree with me on my stroller choice etc.

Ellybelle - I totally agree that it is nice to be able to dress up DD....I love to shop for her :)

[gemella]

sarah, like others have stated, it's not all about $$, but also quality. heck, i'd spend $20 on california baby shampoo any day over some cheaper shampoo. my DD has long hair and i've tried several other less expensive brands (J&J, etc.) and i end up using a lot at a time of the cheaper stuff (because it doesn't lather well/is really watery) and then her hair looks really greasy afterwards. maybe it's just her hair, who knows, but california baby products work great in comparison and i only end up using a tiny dollop at a time. the same $20 dollar bottle will last me months...

you can't judge everything outright by it's price tag.

my kids hanna clothes have lasted a long time (and they are hand-me-downs from my nieces/nephews). their cheaper clothes haven't always fared as well.

[Sarah]

as i said, it's what i personally would feel comfortable with, and I said that it's something we all have to figure out for ourselves.

[moderngal]

I suppose I fit into this category. I'm not sure why it's seen as negative though. I can afford nice things for my DS. I enjoying buying him nice things. I also am concerned about my family's health, so we use natural products and eat natural foods. And although we do this, we live well within our means and have no debt. I can't understand how this could be a bad thing?

[gemella]

Well, this just sounds awfully sanctimonious...

I am surprised that so many people don't see anything wrong with spending 20 dollars on lotion, or 700 dollars on a stroller.

That's because there isn't anything wrong with it if you're spending within your means and you perceive that you're getting your $$ worth, etc.

[MrsT]

I have some yoga mama traits, but I think that while the article ids these women as going with trends/doing things for show, I make most of my decisions based on what is safest and healthiest (and cutest) for my baby while spending the least amount of money possible.

I buy DS only organic foods because I want him to have the best possible start to his nutritional life (same reason I didn't have caffeine while pg). However, to save money, I make his food and only buy what I can't make myself (like organic cheerios). I DO buy Burt's Bees lotion (from drugstore.com :)) only because I love the smell - but I buy J&J or Gerber everything else (depends on what coupon I have!). We have the expensive carseat b/c it's rated safer than some of the cheaper ones but I wouldn't buy a $700 stroller (of course, I live in suburbia and drive more than I walk). I personally cannot spend the money on DS' clothes that a lot of people tend to do (count me in as a person who thinks Gap/Gymboree are expensive!!), but I do get good brands/quality by shopping sales or clearances. As a rule, I don't spend more than $5 per piece of clothing for DS. I'd rather spend the money on books or activities for DS, not something he'll outgrow soon.

To give a bit of perspective, my DH and I tend to be frugal in all aspects of our lives - we go for quality, but not necessarily "luxury" and this of course affects how we care for our son.

[Sarah]

Well, this just sounds awfully sanctimonious...


Quote:
I am surprised that so many people don't see anything wrong with spending 20 dollars on lotion, or 700 dollars on a stroller.


Okay. I can deal with being called sanctimonious. I really wasn't trying to be snotty, I guess I really am surprised. Not like, "oh you horrible women!" just like, "oh, I didn't know." Because the women I talk to every day spend 8.99 on purses, not $400. It's totally foreign to me. I live in the city, in a relatively working class/poor area, and I am used to a different way of living. I don't think I have ever known someone IRL who lives that lifestyle, discussed in the article.

[onomatopoeia]

My position is even if I had $700 for a stroller, even if I had $500 for a purse, I wouldn't spend that kind of money of those items. I'd rather save that money for my kids' education or a family vacation or something like that. But everyone is different. When I was growing up, my mom's biggest influence on me was how to save. I never have had credit card and that's important to me. Everyone has different values and everyone has different ways of spending money. But I lean more towards what Sarah is saying here.

[Jaycee]

Okay. I can deal with being called sanctimonious. I really wasn't trying to be snotty, I guess I really am surprised. Not like, "oh you horrible women!" just like, "oh, I didn't know." Because the women I talk to every day spend 8.99 on purses, not $400. It's totally foreign to me. I live in the city, in a relatively working class/poor area, and I am used to a different way of living. I don't think I have ever known someone IRL who lives that lifestyle, discussed in the article.
When you explain it that way, it sounds much less judgmental. Thanks :)

[SiValleySteph]

It's possible, though, that people spending $700 on a stroller or $500 on a purse can also afford family vacations and saving for college. :)

I try to watch my consumer spending because I feel like it's easy to get caught up in buying things. I hate that. In some ways, I prefer to spend more on 1 item than to buy a lot of things at a discount.

[Daniel's Kitty]

Well I do buy Burts Bees for rash cream and my lotion and Aveeno for baby lotion. Most of DS clothes are second hand, gifts, or handmade.

I can't imagine for us to spend $700 on a stroller. We did spend $100 but he loves it when we go for a walk.

My big problem is buying fabric for carriers! I love having my sling and I keep seeing other things I would love to make!

[moderngal]

My position is even if I had $700 for a stroller, even if I had $500 for a purse, I wouldn't spend that kind of money of those items. I'd rather save that money for my kids' education or a family vacation or something like that.
But I can buy those things, take fabulous vacations, and my kid has more money saved for his education than many people make in a year. And we don't use credit cards or go into debt to do these things either.
Say what you will, but if $700 was no big deal to you, you would drop it on a stroller if that's what you wanted. And there is nothing wrong with that.

[Natasha]

I am a Wal Mart and Target momma! I love my son, but he's 2.5, and hard on everything! Clothes, toys, even shampoo! Sometimes this kids needs two baths a day, and always needs at least one. We buy Huggies diapers, because they are what seems to work best for me. If we had a higher income, I may buy clothes at different places. But, we don't. So, his clothes come from Wal Mart, his shoes from Payless, and he had a boring old evenflo carseat. Doesn't bother me at all!

[dana b]

for me -- i'd say yes and no. i like nice things and i'm willing to pay more for something that *i* think is better, but i rarely ever pay full price for anything. my daughter has fabulous clothes, but most of them are bought on ebay. i do draw the line somewhere though, as we all do. i wouldn't spend $100. for a pair of shoes, but for someone who makes 5 times as much as we do, i see nothing wrong with it. i think this is one of the those things where moms are being too judgemental of other moms, saying how ridiculous it is to spend $700. dollars on a stroller. you don't see people in the fashion/beauty thread saying it's ridiculous to spend $700. on a handbag -- bugaboo owners get criticized much more than a woman with a louis vuitton bag.

[onomatopoeia]

moderngal, if people can afford expensive things, great. That's why there's a market for it. BUT there are a lot of families who go into debt to try and get the "best" or the name brand things when regular old Target stuff will do the job. I found your post very boastful. I wasn't saying it was wasteful to buy a $700 stroller IF someone can afford higher end items AND I said that everyone is different. I was not trying to be insulting.

ETA: Just wanted to say I would have more spending money if I worked, but I decided to be a SAHM... for me the time I spend w/ my son is priceless. But thankfully DH makes enough $ that we don't have to live paycheck to paycheck and we are able to save - which like I already said, savings is very important to me.

[Littlelamb11]

It's possible, though, that people spending $700 on a stroller or $500 on a purse can also afford family vacations and saving for college. :)

I try to watch my consumer spending because I feel like it's easy to get caught up in buying things. I hate that. In some ways, I prefer to spend more on 1 item than to buy a lot of things at a discount.

yup and yup. :)

[onomatopoeia]

Dana b, I don't think you were directing your comment at me but I just had to say that I don't insult any one for their purchases - it's their $, but I would never buy a $700 hand bag either. To me a purse is a purse is a purse.. same w/ a stroller. Everyone has their own unique things they think are worth more to them.

[dana b]

onomatopoeia no, it wasn't directed at you, just a general observation everywhere ;)

[Renrel]

On the idea of different things being worth more to different people I remember an economic teacher in college telling a story of a business man giving his teen age son a hard time about "wasting" money to have fins or something on his car. He pointed out that it was just cosmetic and did not make the car running any better. The teacher pointed out that the businessman at the time was wearing a very nice three piece suit but could have accomplished the requirements of warmth and modesty with a simple formless gown. He spent is money on the good suit because it was fashionable and presented a statement about who he was which he wanted others to see. The son's reasoning in getting the fins was pretty much the same as the dad's was for his suit, and neither could see the point in the other "waste" of money.