SAHM and thinking of my old job....

[chloechloe]

I love being a SAHM and my old job has planned a going away party for me. I am having mixed feelings about going. I used to love my job. Then I refused to get the flu shot one year and my employer refused to let me work, upon returning one of my supervisor had a big problem with me. My previous 5 years with perfect records were suddenly over. She made new *rules* and reported me to my boss 8 times in the nine months I was pregnant. I also had severe vomitting and nausea while pregnant, so she took advantage of that reporting that I had lost enjoyment in my job. (I vomitted 20+ without medication and about 8 with medication, hard to enjoy anything). In these meetings, I often broke down in tears. I almost had to go on stress leave and ended up leaving early for my maternity leave. Well with 3 months left to my leave I gave my notice. Now I am thinking about my old job and how difficult the last year was. I have been gone for 14 months and now get my going away party, I really want to go to see the people that I enjoyed working with but not the one person that ruined everything for me. I am also feeling some resentment that NO ONE called, visited, or even sent a card when DD was born or even during the year I was off. So I am wondering if this dinner will be some soft of closure for me or what........just had to get that off my chest....

[onomatopoeia]

have been gone for 14 months and now get my going away party,

This seems just strange to me. If you've been in contact (phone calls, letters, emails) w/ any of these coworkers than I would go to the party, but if you haven't, I don't see the point.

I was also close to my old coworkers. I left my job at 8 months pregnant b/c I had decided to be a SAHM and I wanted one month off before DS came. We had a going away party, a baby shower and everyone was great. But if 14 months later they wanted to do the same thing (and no one had talked to me during that time) I would feel very uncomfortable about having a "going away party." I would rather have it called a "reunion". And if there's someone who is going to be there, that you don't like, think about the added stress. If I were you, I'd call up the coworkers you liked (if you don't mind that they haven't called you) and set up an evening out to hang out and chit chat.

[sophiapb]

I'm speaking from experience here. Go to the party. Someone is making the effort to thank you and remember you for the service you gave to the company and you should go and accept the thank you. Yes, it's odd that they are doing it so late but they ARE doing it.
As for the person you don't want to see, there is a very good chance that she is feeling weird about it and won't show. Even if she does, she is going to be nice and fake so it's not like there will be a confrontation.
Finally, you said you had some good years there. Go to the party in recognition of the good years and the co-workers that you do like and end your career with that company on a high note. I think if you don't go, you will always have a bitterness towards that company.
I went through something very similiar and did all of the above. The final get-together gave me some peace and a happy memory which, although it didn't eliminate all the bad memories, gave me closure.

[aprilshowers]

I second everything sophia said and want to add one additional thought. Even if you're not thinking of re-entering the workforce for the forseeable future, who knows what is going to end up happening? You may end up needing to work sometime and may need to depend on these people for references or even a possible position. I would think that skipping the party would burn some bridges you might want to keep intact. Good luck!

[dzmattie]

I went through something very similar and my co-workers had a party for me awhile after I left - I did go and it was weird at times but it was during the day and I brought DS so that made it easier. It was almost like by meeting DS they realized that I was pregnant and didn't WANT to be sick all the time and didn't WANT to go on maternity leave early....good luck.

[catmom]

It is a little wierd that they're having it now. I would say you might as well go... it's only like an hour, right? Maybe you will end up working with some of these people again, and you don't want to burn any bridges. I would bring lots of baby pictures, and if you want to leave just say you have to be back for your baby's naptime or whatever. View it as a networking opportunity and a chance to get some free food.