My cat winces when I go near his face :(

[maplekitty]

I got a new kitty from the animal shelter 2 months ago. He's around 1-2 yrs old, and is really a great cat. Very social with DH and I, and affectionate, but still a little skittish...which I think is normal.
We don't know anything about his past, only that he was left in a box outside a vet, they neutered him and sent him to the shelter, and we adopted him 1 month later.

I'm so sad for him, because he winces every time I got to pet his head. I don't like that, it makes me sad that he's afraid, or is not trusting yet. Something must have happened to him when he was younger? I don't know if he'll gow out of it, or if there is anything we can do to "train" him to be used to us touching him. He loves head rubs/scratches, and nudges our hands to give him pets...but if he's laying down and I go to pet him, he winces. It breaks my heart! :(

Is this something we can get him to stop doing? Or is it just going to be a thing he does always??

[ejs]

Just give it time. One of our dogs used to be like that and it broke my heart! It made me sad to think that he could be thinking I might hurt him.

We decided to pet his head only two ways:
* He came to us and nudged our hand to be pet.
* We'd offer a treat in our open hand and then pet his head while he took it from us so he'd associate "head being touched with a good thing."

It took a few months, but the problem disappeared. Just be patient.

Also, are you going near his whiskers when you go to pet his head? Could the sensitivity of those be causing him to act strange?

[maplekitty]

Just give it time. One of our dogs used to be like that and it broke my heart! It made me sad to think that he could be thinking I might hurt him.

We decided to pet his head only two ways:
* He came to us and nudged our hand to be pet.
* We'd offer a treat in our open hand and then pet his head while he took it from us so he'd associate "head being touched with a good thing."

It took a few months, but the problem disappeared. Just be patient.

Also, are you going near his whiskers when you go to pet his head? Could the sensitivity of those be causing him to act strange?


HHmm... are cats trainable that way like dogs? I might do the thing where only if he nudges...unfortunately he doesn't like treats, so I can't try that method :(

I never thought about his whiskers, but no it's when my hand goes "near" his face, not even actually touching.

I hope he grows out of it, it really breaks my heart.

[maxandmolly]

We also had a dog who had a similar reaction. His was so severe if you reached up to get something out of the cabinet and he was ten feet away, he would still run and hide.
I would let him direct things- when he nudges you to pet him, pet him, coo, say sweet things, etc.
Also, my cats (who I know have NEVER beeen abused) dislike strongly, someone just walking up and trying to pet them-granted, it applies to strangers- but if the person lets them smell their hand first and inspect them, they sometimes tolerate it. You may want to try that.

[ejs]

Strangely, my aunt has trained my grandmother's cat. The cat sits up on her back legs and begs for treats. I'm sure there has to be some goodie your cat would like; I used to "bribe" my cat with the tuna that comes in resealable packs.

I understand that you're not touching his face, but he could be anticipating something. Kind of similar to how we flinch when something comes near our face.

It's obvious he's not scared of you if he comes up to you. He could just be a cat that doesn't like his face touched.

[mrsk]

We think our cat was abused as a very young kitten before my grandmother adopted him. Until my grandmother died and we adopted him, he was terrified of men. Eventually he came to trust my husband, but we've had him for almost four years now and he is just now starting to trust other men and come out when we have guests in the house.

He obviously trusts and loves you already, just give your cat time. Our cat still cowers sometimes. I think it becomes instinct and thats a hard thing to "break".

Best of luck to you and your new kitty!

[southerner]

Unfortunately (for you), this might be a thing your cat will never like. My cat actually does the same thing. She doesn't like people to touch her face and only wants to be pet on HER terms. She was abused and neglected for the first 8 months of her life. We got her from a shelter. It was very disheartening at first, but we've had her two years now and it's just something we had to get used to. We've found other ways to love and show her we care.

[fuzzy]

It took a LONG time for the last stray we adopted to allow us to pet her head. She'd permit us to pick her up, but for some reason touching her head was very traumatic for her.

On Halloween, it'll be two years since we officially adopted her (marked by the visit to the vet!). She still flinches a bit. Less so when husband pets her and more so when I pet her, but she's really bonded to him and allows him a lot more "access."

My other three cats were adopted when they were kitten, were bottle fed, and and I can do just about anything with them -- hold them upside down, "tackle" them, wrestle and play rough...but Scruffy would never, ever allow that. It IS sad, but we just keep reminding ourselves that she has different levels of than the boys.

[southerner]

but she's really bonded to him and allows him a lot more "access."

same with ours, I guess your kitty will develop different bonds with each of you...it's kind of cool! SOMETIMES (but not often), ours will allow DH to pet her face if she's already on his lap and approaches it from the top of her head/back of neck (never from the front though, well with me at least)

[KaliLily]

We adopted our second cat, Kali, when she was a year old from an animal shelter. We were already her 3rd home! I noticed early on that although she loves to be petted, she does not like her head petted (unless I come at it from the back of her neck), nor will she "nuzzle" my face like our first cat (whom we adopted from the same shelter at 8 weeks) does.

It's been 4 1/2 years now and she's less skittish. The thing with her seems to be not liking anyone in her face, though she will "nosy-nosy" me sometimes - usually if she is sitting higher than me. I'm not sure if it's a trust issue, because she loves - and I mean loves tummy rubs - and lying on her back is a vulnerable position.

We've pretty much just come to accept the differences in our girls. One wants to be snuggled and cuddled and smush her face into ours - on her terms, of course - but hates to have her stomache rubbed unless she's in super snuggle mode and you sorta "sneak" a tummy rub in.

The other doesn't like to be held or get "face-to-face" but she will sit on any lap (available or not) lick your hand/arm 'til it's raw and roll over, making her tummy available for a nice long rub. It's adorable.

I suggest just taking your ques from your cat to find what it does like that will allow you to feel the trust and bond.

[Sabrina]

Has your cat had a dental check up at the vet? I wonder if his teeth/gums are bothering him and that is why he is wincing when you get near his face.

If it is not his teeth, try holding your hand out for him to sniff before you pet his head. One of my cats doesn't like it when I pet her head, but if I let her sniff my hand first, she rubs her head all over my hand on her own :)


HHmm... are cats trainable that way like dogs?

Cats are absolutely trainable:cool:

[sea74]

We got our cat about three-four years ago. He was an abused cat who was TERRIFIED of us when he first came home. It took several months for him to not hide from us. And several more for him not to flinch when we tried to pet him near his face. It was heart breaking. With that being said, he's such a sweet and loving cat now and no longer tries to run from us or minds getting his face petted. But it did take time, about 6-8 months. And only now is he starting to let SOME friends and family pet him.

Don't give up. With a lot of love and patients and slow gentle movements, he'll come to trust and love you. Take it slow with your new kitty. If he acts like he wants to run away let him because cornering him to touch him will only reinforce the fear he may be feeling.

Good luck!