Newlyweds: Looking back, what would you have done differently? [Archive]

mel7dog

10-25-2005, 09:51 AM

I am VERY happy with all I was able to accomplish in 4 months and with a limited buget, but if I could do it again I'd I wish I could've had a spring wedding. I still have dreams of light pink and champagne colors, but those wouldn't go over to well in Jan. I also would have liked more time to plan and save more $, but that's life in the military for you!

Things i'd change:
-much more specific on cake and flowers. We didn't have much time and I figured they do this all the time so they know what to do, but I wasn't very happy with how things turned out
-Had a hair trial. I wasn't thrilled with my hair either. I thought it was long enough to something exciting, but the hair lady didn't seem to think so. Had i known I would have gotten extension for sure!
-Didn't need to be so specific with the DJ for songs. I spent hours picking out songs and in the end he played a lot of other songs and people loved those ones more!

Things I am SO glad we did:
-spent a HUGE chunk of $ on the photographer even though it was a little crazy considering our budget. Our pics turned out GREAT and what good is a beautiful wedding w/mediocar pics?!
-Task things out! Towards the end I gave in and taske things out, I felt very little stress on the wedding day
-Candy bar, huge hit

LDS Angel 19

10-25-2005, 09:54 AM

Hmm.

The first thing that comes to mind is I would had made DH help me into the getaway car. We have a pic of him, sitting in the car grinning, and me, standing there, looking really confused as to how to get in with all that dress! lol.

Other then that, one of my main regrets was actually my DJ. I take full blame for not researching and finding a better one, but he was just not that good.

thats all I can think of off hand.

sandt8704

10-25-2005, 09:55 AM

I probably would not have done the table cameras. Between buying them and processing the film, it really wasn't worth it (for us).

BethElena

10-25-2005, 10:22 AM

I wish I had given my mom a rose before the ceremony. It was very hard for her to go through it without my dad (I think he's living with his girlfriend in FL on my mom's retirement dime).

Oh yeah -- i wish the reception site could have spelled our married name correctly. :rolleyes:

QueenofCA

10-25-2005, 10:22 AM

I would have not allowed other people to rush me around so much. My photographer was extremely pushy, and it seemed like we were just rushing from one thing to another, and I didn't get a chance to enjoy the process and take everything in.

I also would have tried to organize better for the day of the wedding. I felt that things were too haphazard, although that feeling probably stemmed from being so rushed.

So, my advice would be to put your foot down and let your vendors work on YOUR schedule, instead of you working on THEIR schedule.

bunny nose

10-25-2005, 10:54 AM

Everything except for the person I married.

Serious!!!

My wedding was nothing that I wanted. I allowed his mother to walk all over me and make it what she wanted. Three and a half years later I am still bitter about it. I wanted to get married in Vegas with just our immediate families and then come home and have a big BBQ. It wasn't fancy enough for her. The snooty attitude came out with that one.

So we had the big church and hotel reception. The hotel turned our wedding into a joke and a big farce. I was so uncomfortable the whole day. I was happy to be marrying DH, but not happy with the wedding itself. And even with doing it the way others wanted, they were still not happy with things. I never put myself first to get what I wanted and I am so mad at myself about that.

The advice I give to anyone I know planning their own day is to go ahead and have it your way. At least that way you will be happy. No matter how you try to please everyone else it won't work. Do what makes you happy and be done with it.

Karen

QueenofCA

10-25-2005, 10:59 AM

Oh, and I thought of one more thing! I wish I would have taken time out to have something to eat. By the end of the night, I had only eaten a bagel all day (and that was at 5 a.m.) I was so hungry, tired, and hot that I was dry-heaving in the car on the way home. Yup, I spent my wedding night feeling extremely nauseated and DH was slowly feeding me crackers to settle my stomach. Romantic, huh?

I really wish I would have just taken 10 minutes at the reception to eat some of the great food that everyone else was raving about!

honeygirl

10-25-2005, 11:07 AM

We had less than 6 months to plan our wedding, but for the most part it was perfect. However, looking back I would:

-check in a mirror periodically to make sure I was put together
-eat my wedding cake (didn't have a chance)
-take more pictures with family, we have tons of journalistic shots, but not many of the family
-skip the table cameras, the pictures turned out crappy
-had a better bustle, I had a 1 point and my DH broke it right away at the reception when he stepped on my dress!
-do different favors, they took forever and didn't even look that great.

I am so happy that we:
-splurged for the more expensive videographer and photographer. I love my photos and enjoy watching our wedding videos (3 different versions, differing lengths).
-married in the same church that my mother and grandmother did. I was worried about not having a center isle, but it worked out just fine.
-Had my bridesmaids stay in a suite with me the night before. Since everyone was flying in from out of town it was great to catch up and spend some time with them before the big day.
-spent some time together early in the morning of the wedding before everything started.
-and most importantly, I am happy that we had a wonderful day and that I took the time to enjoy everything!

Janey

10-25-2005, 11:39 AM

The biggest regret I have is my bouquet. Seems silly, but it's true. My florist did not listen to me. I wanted half sunset calla lilies & half red roses, but she gave me four calla lilies & the rest red roses. She had written down that I wanted a "Mostly Red Bouquet" which I tried to tell her multiple times that that isn't what I wanted. I also told her I did not want a "tight, round" bouquet... so I got a tight, ovalish bouquet. :mad: I even gave her a picture... and it still didn't help.

Also, she didn't give me a toss bouquet (I think?? I never saw it if she did) and I forgot to Toss The Bouquet. Not that I was all that concerned about that at the time, because I'm pretty sure most of my single girlfriends wouldn't have wanted to stand up there and try to catch it anyway, but still! It's part of the tradition...

Ah well. It created a funny memory...

I had a little Floral Rant on our honeymoon. I looked at B, pretended he was the florist, and told him everything I wanted to tell the stupid florist about how they screwed up my bouquet, how they were horrible, horrible communicators, and they ruined Every Single One of my Pictures because of it, and I could not recommend them to other brides. I mean, not really. I knew they didn't ruin my pictures. I was just being overly dramatic. But, I was mad at the florist, and it all just came spilling out. After my rant was complete, B paused and looked at me and said, "Baby, I think you need to toss the bouquet." I said, "But I can't! It’s over!" He said, "No. I mean I think you need to REALLY toss the bouquet! Like...into the river." I said, "Ohhh - Floral Closure, you mean."

So, on the last day of our honeymoon, we went up to Skookum Falls, and I did just that – I tossed the bouquet. Four times. We even have the video(s) to prove it. They are .avi files so they might take a little while to download, but they are pretty funny. Watch them in order. Enjoy.

Toss 1 (http://home.comcast.net/~bhill96/bouquet-toss1.avi)
Toss 2 (http://home.comcast.net/~bhill96/bouquet-toss2.avi)
Toss 3 (http://home.comcast.net/~bhill96/bouquet-toss3.avi)
Toss 4 (http://home.comcast.net/~kjdsea/bouquet-toss4.avi)

My big dumb laughing face at the end cracks me up every time. :D

tbell

10-25-2005, 12:50 PM

My biggest regret is that I didn't hire a wedding coordinator. I interviewed a few but just couldn't find money for it in the budget. I figured I wouldn't need anyone since our church provides a coordinator for the ceremony and the hotel where we had our reception had a catering manager.

Not that they weren't great to work with, but I would have had someone to be there throughout the whole thing to keep us on track (I was horribly late to the ceremony as my hairdresser took WAY too long on the hair), someone to STOP the DJ when he played the wrong song for our cake-cutting and played songs off of our "do not play" list (OK, this is obviously still is a very sore point with me 5 months later because I'm getting all worked up again!) It would have been nice to have someone to handle the little things instead of me and my mom doing it all.

I also would have provided a detailed list of shots to the photographers. I like the pictures, but they aren't very creative and there are many shots that other people had that I would have loved to have done (see MapleKitty's journal for great shots!)

But I am overall pleased with how my wedding turned out. I'm just happy it's over!!

BonBon06-11-05

10-25-2005, 04:07 PM

[QUOTE=QueenofCA]I would have not allowed other people to rush me around so much. My photographer was extremely pushy, and it seemed like we were just rushing from one thing to another, and I didn't get a chance to enjoy the process and take everything in. QUOTE]

I'd almost forgotten about that! This also happened at my wedding. I really started to get annoyed/upset when EVERYONE was coming up to me saying "there's a problem with (fill in the blank.) How do we fix it?" (There were a few glitches at the reception, but there was certainly no need to worry the bride with all of them! They could have been fixed by others involved in the wedding planning process, ie: my MIL, my husbands cousin and aunt. )

ivansbabe

10-25-2005, 05:33 PM

It's weird, things bother me more about my wedding now then they did immediately following. I wish I could still be in that frame of mind.
I regret my photographer. She had great reviews and is fairly popular in our area, and we do have a few good photos but I really felt like she didn't want to be at our wedding. She rushed through things and thus left alot out...like hardly getting any pictures of my family, WTF?. She also left a half hour early saying that she took more than she originally was paid for and that we didn't have to pay for the extra photos, as if she did us a huge favor! She missed a couple things during the reception as a result. B*tch.
My bridesmaids flowers and ceremony flowers were great but my bouquet was so so. I gave her a picture of exactly what I wanted, but it wasn't as full and the satin ribbon was cheap looking IMO. So I would've hired another florist, and would've had them do the centerpieces too...I took those on myself to save $$ (which was nice) and was working alot the day before the wedding.
In retrospect I would've like to have a string quartet or something for the ceremony. Our DJ was great however, but instead of a list of songs we picked out for the reception I think I would've preferred mostly jazz and old swing music in the background instead of trying to get our families to dance...party poopers.
I wish my nephew wasn't sick so my sister/MOH could've been more involved.
I loved alot of things so it's hard to say I wish things went differently. Maybe we'll have a really nice 10 year anniversary party and I can make up alot of things I wish I had.

snowzilla

10-25-2005, 05:48 PM

Hmmm. Love this post, because it lets me get things off my chest!

I wish I would have liked my wedding day hair. My stylist has been my stylist for years, and my hair trial was amazing - but she was totally off her game on my wedding day. :( I had her fix it once, but it still wasn't *right* and I didn't want to be one of those overly fussy brides, so I tried to let it go. Well, a year and a half later and I still feel disappointment when I look at my wedding photos (just my hair).

I wish my caterer wouldn't have let us down. We paid for glass corkage over plastic, which was a large difference in cost, and during the dance, they removed all of the glassware (even taking half-full drinks away from guests!!! :mad:) and started serving drinks in plastic cups. It's a really, really good thing I was having so much fun that I didn't actually notice this until near the end of the reception. Otherwise, I would have probably blown a gasket. Especially considering the discussions we had with the catering manager prior to the event regarding how important it was that we A) had glass and B) had a clean event, meaning we hired extra help from their company to keep tables clear of empty glasses (which they didn't).

In the end, we got all of our corkage fee back, plus our gratuity, but you can't do the reception over, y'know? I would have rather had them keep the money and do things right the first time.

But other than that, I can't think of anything! It was an incredible day. :)

Kellijo14

10-25-2005, 06:15 PM

I would have double checked my order from the florist when we picked them up. They didn't give me a toss bouquet and we didn't realize it until we got ready to do the bouquet toss. We ended up grabbing a centerpiece and tied a ribbon around it and I used it. Not a big deal. We should have checked before we left. We got our money back for it and no one noticed.

I also would have gave myself more time to get ready instead of worrying about last minute details. Honestly, I did the same thing for any other major events (my high school prom's, graduation, etc) so why would my wedding day be any different? But all of a sudden, the photographer was there and I was still running around in my "something blue" outfit.

These are two very minor things. Overall, these didn't make or break the day at all. It was a wonderful time!

Star_Galaxy

10-25-2005, 07:40 PM

All in all, we had a pretty fantastic day. However, things I would do differently are -

- Spent less time worrying about MIL (who spent the night crying on the front porch :mad: )
- Had something to eat, everyone has said the food was amazing and I didn't get to try anything :(
- Spent more money and time looking for our wedding night accomodation. I was looking for something local and it was a pretty average room, not the romantic wedding night room I wish we had.
- Remembered to give a list to our photographer of must have photos. Our photographer was amazing but I only realised later that night that he didn't get a photo of me with my grandparents, fortunately I was able to get some friends to take one, which came out beautifully but it wasn't in the garden after the ceremony. :(

They are pretty small things really, so I'm pretty pleased with how well it all went, but I'm so relieved its all over! :D

Megan :)

apoppy

10-25-2005, 07:51 PM

Originally posted by ivansbabe:
It's weird, things bother me more about my wedding now then they did immediately following. I wish I could still be in that frame of mind.

I totally agree with this. Lately small things have really bothered me and I wish I could get over it. :rolleyes:

* I wish I would have used all of the flowers that I bought when making the arrangements. I only used about half. That was just silly.
* I wish I would have let the photographer (my BIL) take more portraits of DH and I. I was tired of getting my picture taken and wanted to stop and enjoy the party.
* I wish that I would have insisted on more pictures be taken of my family. I have a million pictures of my MIL and her relatives and very, very few of my parents and sisters.
* I wish that I would have noticed that the caterer only filled the champagne glasses once during the toasts. We have so much champagne left over. Very annoying.
* I wish I would have been more insistent about how the pomanders were hung. I spent hours making them and in the end they looked dumb because they weren't hung the way I asked.

Oh well. My goal was to be a relaxed and happy bride during the wedding and reception, and I was. Now, I wish that I would have been just a little more demanding.

maplekitty

10-25-2005, 10:03 PM

MrsHill - Your videos are cracking me up! My DH adn I are laughing out loud! Nice touch with the veil to ;)

la_bride_2004

10-25-2005, 10:53 PM

I only have a few things:

1. I would have done the flowers myself. I totally would have too, since I knew exactly what I wanted, and I know the wholesale flower market very well since I worked near there. But I let everyone convince me it would be "too much work." So I hired a florist for $$$. I went over and over what flowers I wanted (mostly pink roses). I even made her a sample bouquet out of silk roses so she'd know exactly what I was thinking of. The day of? There were NONE of the flowers I wanted. Not one. And not ONE pink rose. I was absolutely furious, especially since I had met with her numerous times and she came highly recommended. Yes, I got every penny of my money back (which nearly paid for the honeymoon) but I am still upset I didn't get my pink roses. Boo hoo. I love flowers so much, so this was a true shame.

2. It never occurred to me to tell the videographer I was not changing my last name and I did NOT want to be referred to by DH's last name. Everyone else knew, particularly the DJ, but he forgot and yes, announced us as Mr. and Mrs.

Yup, the videographer caught it and put it all over our video, so the video was ruined. We have all the raw footage and DH was supposed to edit it by our first anniversary, but that didn't happen. Maybe our second?

Other than that, it was an amazing, perfect day. I loved our photographer and our venue did an amazing job (and even got an emergency florist to come in and fix the flowers!) The food was delicious. The cake was one of the best I'd ever seen and tasted.

Vorian's_Leronica

10-26-2005, 12:53 AM

ok, so I'm not exactly a newlywed but...

I wish we had eloped

Kellijo14

10-26-2005, 06:56 AM

2. It never occurred to me to tell the videographer I was not changing my last name and I did NOT want to be referred to by DH's last name. Everyone else knew, particularly the DJ, but he forgot and yes, announced us as Mr. and Mrs.

Yup, the videographer caught it and put it all over our video, so the video was ruined. We have all the raw footage and DH was supposed to edit it by our first anniversary, but that didn't happen. Maybe our second?

We haven't watched our video yet and now I'm scared too!! :eek: I hope our's isn't like this, even though no one called us by DH's last name... now I'm scared to watch it this weekend.

Cilantro

10-26-2005, 07:22 AM

I would have had a shorter engagement. Married life is so much better than engaged life, which is fun, but it's also one big hike up a hill called Stress Mountain. I like things better on the married side! Better air, cooler temps, more relaxed attitude, no vendor appointments along the way, no huge decisions over trivial details, and it's certainly less expensive! Had I known how relaxed I would have become, I would have shortened my engagement by at least six months.

ginastorm

10-26-2005, 11:02 AM

I would have spent more time shopping for my wedding dress. I bought my dress the first day I went shopping & I wish I would have looked more to be absolutely sure about the dress.

I wouldn't have worried so much about my MOH's feelings. She was a real b*tch to me because of her jealousy issues & I tried my best to make sure she was happy. My, how things have changed now that she is getting married!

I would have used better quality paper for the programs. It was very last minute & my wonderful MIL ended up finishing them for me on the morning of our wedding!

Other than that, it was wonderful. I wish that I could get married again (to the same man!)!

BonBon06-11-05

10-26-2005, 11:18 AM

ok, so I'm not exactly a newlywed but...

I wish we had eloped

That's ok VL....we don't mind ! :)

lins_n_derek

10-26-2005, 11:47 AM

Would you spend the money on a videographer?

shaqangel

10-26-2005, 12:04 PM

Would you spend the money on a videographer?

definitely - even if its not such a fancy schmancy videographer, i think its so cool to watch the video and see things you definitely didnt know happened. i cried the first time i watched ours cos i realize how much i didnt see (like the start of the ceremony) cos i was 'in hiding'! i think u'll enjoy watching it with your dh when everything is over and done with. sure u wont watch it every day and people wont care to see it, but its great to have for yourself.

QueenofCA

10-26-2005, 12:54 PM

I would also really recommend getting a videographer. Photos are wonderful, but there's nothing quite like seeing it on a DVD (or VHS) and re-living the whole experience. We're going to see the first rough edit tomorrow, and I can't wait! Most of my wedding day was a blur so I'm excited to see what really happened!

Also, if you have close family members or friends who can't attend for whatever reason, a video is a great way to share your day with them. For example, my grandparents were not able to travel from CT to CA because they are old and infirm, so we're bringing the video to them so they can at least have a clear vision of our wedding day.

apoppy

10-26-2005, 01:02 PM

Would you spend the money on a videographer?

Not me! I can't stand to see myself on film or hear my recorded voice. A wedding video would have been a total waste for us.

Vishenka69

10-26-2005, 01:52 PM

Would you spend the money on a videographer?
I actually regret hiring a cheap one and wish I didn't listen to DH and upgraded. Don't skimp on this or you'll end up paying more to fix the crappy video you got, which is what I'm doing now.

Contrary to popular advice, I regret delegating. The things I would change are the ones where I compromised and delegated. If you're an easy going person, who's comfortable with other people's decisions, then it's a great route for you. But I'm a control freak and didn't like the even slight changes others made to my instructions. We also had to compromise on many things that our parents insisted on because they paid for 2/3 of all expenses. It's great if relatives are offering to pay for things but that money will ultimately come with their own $0.02.

PG-rated

10-26-2005, 03:34 PM

It's funny - right after the wedding I had a whole list of things I wish I had done differently, and seven months later I can't remember half of them! :)

1. I would've invited EVERYONE. We capped the guest list at 250, but we really only left out about 20 people, and I'm sure many of them would've appreciated the invitation, even if they couldn't make it. Plus I completely forgot one couple that I'm still kicking myself over - they were on my mental list but never made it to the written one, and I didn't realize it until after the wedding.

2. The videographer - we hired a student from the local broadcasting school to shoot raw footage and give it to DH to edit. Well, he put the tapes in the mail with no tracking or insurance and they were lost. We keep talking about taking him to small-claims court, but have yet to do it. I wish we had assigned a family member to hold a camcorder - we didn't care about getting professional-quality footage, but we wanted something.

3. The bouquet toss - DH wanted this, not me, but he didn't have to do it, and neither did his friends. My poor bridesmaids were really good sports about it, but only a few other single women came up to join them. I should've stood firm and skipped it.

4. The after-party - We had my brother host an after-party, and my mom hosted a brunch the next morning, but due to lousy communication between DH and his family, the ILs planned parallel events at their house, so we spent our wedding night driving halfway across the state and back so that we could spend time at both parties. It sucked.

5. The hotel - We picked a hotel by the beach for our wedding night, but all of the stupidity with the after-parties meant that we couldn't really enjoy it. We should've stayed in the same town as the wedding - it would've cut over an hour off our driving around post-reception.

Janey

10-26-2005, 03:41 PM

MrsHill - Your videos are cracking me up! My DH adn I are laughing out loud! Nice touch with the veil to ;)
Haha - good! I think it's totally Goofy-Northwest. I'm standing there on the side of the highway, no makeup, hair not done, in my PolarTec fleece pants, Mt. Rainier T-shirt... and a veil. Too funny. I wonder what the people driving by must've thought. My aunt saw the videos and said, "Yeeep. You got the right guy, to do that for you." 2 of my other friends emailed me and said, "So um, which river do I need to dive into??"

I'm almost glad the florist screwed up. Almost. ;)

Tonysweetie

10-26-2005, 05:13 PM

one thing I would've done different is hired a video person. I so regret not having that video of our wedding and reception!!!

Bastille

10-26-2005, 07:29 PM

I've been married 3+ years but there are still some things that bother me about my wedding day - not so much as they used to but still....

1. I wish I had gotten ready privately with the bridesmaids. I got ready in a room (attached to a kitchen) at the church where everyone including family/kids/caterers were coming in to say hello - it made me extremely nervous/stressed and let's just say this was not the best part of my wedding day....

2. My wedding bouquet was WRONG. I had specified NO cala lilies as my grandmother had died 6 weeks before my wedding and I associate lilies with funerals. I was furious when I saw the bouquet and so disappointed - it was actually a beautiful bouquet just not what I had anticipated.

3. Had frosted my hair lighter before the wedding as i didn't realize how much darker my hair would look with the gel/hairspray the stylist used. I also had 1 errant "long" bang that broke away from my updo and when I see my pictures I seem to focus only on the "dark" hair with the strand of hair down my forehead:rolleyes:

4. Wish I had done more traditional group photos after the ceremony with wedding party and family

5. Had someone else clean up the ceremony/reception area (we got married about 1 1/2 from home and got a great deal for the church/ceremony so we felt very responsible to return it perfectly cleaned) so we could start our wedding night sooner;)

What I loved:
the place, food, people, my DRESS:D , photos, video, picking out EVERY song for the DJ ( I love to dance)
Walking down the aisle to "Sound of Music"
Leaving the church to "I Feel Good"
Not seeing DH before the ceremony
Wearing a veil throughout the ceremoney for DH to lift off my head (DH just recently told me that he really liked this)
Getting married to DH surrounded by friends and family

Asha

10-27-2005, 07:32 AM

my biggest one was not hiring a day of wedding coordinator. two days before our wedding was the northeast black out. that meant i couldn't do anything until the night before the wedding or the day of the wedding. no one offered to help and i was left to do everything myself at the last minute. if i had a day of coordinator, i would have had that burden lifted off of me. i loved my wedding but i was just too stressed about getting everything done at the last minute bc of the blackout.

another thing i would have done was go with our original plan of having only 30 or so guests. our original plan was to get married in a church then take the guests to really nice restaurant to celebrate. that would have been so much easier, but that's what happens when you listen to other people's ideas of how your wedding should be.

guinevere

10-27-2005, 08:05 AM

I wish we got a picture of our guest book table (we had wedding pictures of our parents, grandparents, etc on it as well as some memorial candles). I didn't realize until a few months later that we didn't get any pictures of that.
Also our hotel made up this fancy sign for our wedding with our names, date, etc and no one got a picture of it :( . It would have been so nice!

Kristy

10-27-2005, 10:29 AM

For the wedding, I wouldn't have done a single thing differently. It truly was a perfect day. Everything went smoothly, everyone behaved, and if there were any glitches I didn't know about them.

I would have changed the rehearsal dinner, though. We had a dressy/casual BBQ buffet thing at my parents' house, which is theory was a good idea. My parents' place is just a few blocks down the street from the church and an easy meeting location for everyone. That part was fine. Everything else was crazy. We had set tables and things up out in our backyard, but it was oddly windy and nothing would stay put. People who had said they would help with the set up and all weren't showing up on time, which left everyone with very little time to get ready for the rehearsal because we were trying to secure tablecloths. My mom was really stressed and frazzled, which made me stressed, and DH stressed, etc. I wish we had just gotten it catered, or went to a restaurant instead. It was such a headache.

Would you spend the money on a videographer?

Nope, and I'm glad we didn't. Pictures were my big priority, not videos, so I didn't even worry about it. My mother, OTOH, practically begged me to get some video of the ceremony so we borrowed my grandparents' digital video camera and had a friend film it from up in the choir loft. All we paid was the cost of a tape, and my mother was happy because we gave her the copy. I've still never seen the thing and don't care to lol.

sportyj

10-27-2005, 10:43 AM

I also would not change a thing, had a BLAST! I am glad we did not hire a videographer. I think pictures capture emotion and I was so afraid of looking back on a video and saying "thats not how I remember it happening."

MidwesternGal

10-28-2005, 11:32 AM

I have a few regrets that, 22 months later, still drive me nuts!

I'll start with the 2 big ones, that I will probably be bitter about for the rest of my days (and nope, I'm not joking):

--FLOWERS!!! My DH's grandma is a "florist." I put this in quotes because the amt of time she spends with real flowers, not silk and not green plants, is very questionable. DH and his family *insisted* that this grandma do the flowers, she does them for "everyone." Long story short, she refused to do real, wouldn't order silks in the color I wanted (I'm sorry, but there are more than 2 shades of red!!), and did really crappy large pieces up at the front of the church that I would describe as "gangly" at best. I should have put my foot down when she refused to do real. Sigh. Every time I look at the pictures, I get mad about it. To top it off, everyone thought I was being unreasonable. I'm sorry, but the 1st problem alone (refusing to do real flowers) would have rendered any other florist UNEMPLOYABLE by me (and probably lots of others).

--HAIR!! I booked a reputable salon. Not happy with the trial, not happy with the final product, either. I ended up with just some loose curls at the top of my head. That's IT. And I had long, thick, easily manipulated (at least by stylists!) hair that something really special could have been done to. The worst part, however, is that when she put the veil in underneath, she had to take it out and do it over. . . . so there is this little "lump" of hair poufing out underneath the 'do, when it should have been smooth and tight. It literally infuriates me (and I"m not kidding here) every time I see a picture taken from the side.

Couple of small ones that are just little regrets:
--Photographer: Would have booked a more expensive one, who got more than just the standard shots.
--BM dresses: I wish I would have spent more time finding a non-shiny red dress for them, instead of just settling on black.
--BM's themselves: I wish I would have initally asked my SIL to be a bridesmaid (long story on that one), and I wish I would have just ignored another BM who had an opinion on *everything* and found a new problem with her dress every time I talked to her. In fact, doing it over, I'd probably just stick to my sister and my SIL as BMs and left friends out of it. (My two "friends" who were BMs had me crying in the bathroom at RD because I was so mad at them!--of course, being the non-zilla I was, they had/have no idea.)
--Cake: Would have done a square cake with color. I had a hexagon/round alternating cakes, and the decorater wouldn't do the desgin in color because she thought it would be "too birthday-ish."

All in all, my day was really really good, and I had a blast. The flowers and the hair are my two biggest regrets.

lisainpink

10-28-2005, 02:21 PM

I can't say it enough... Hire a Videographer!!!

Now that I've shouted enough for all to hear, I'll tell you why.
My sister (who is my VERY best friend and was to be my Matron of Honor), her 4 week old baby, and her husband were in a very serious car accident on the way to my wedding. After learning that the three of them would be okay, we went on with the wedding (guests were already there and seated- once I knew they were all okay- we continued). My sister/ best friend did not get to see me in my whole get-up (had taken off the veil by the time she was released), she never got to see me walk down the aisle, never heard my vows, she never heard all of the readings we chose- nada. I had an incredible photographer, and he captured tons of great shots- but I still wish she could see me walk down the aisle, etc. I think she is more sick about it than I am. She mentions it several times a week.

wander_woman

10-29-2005, 08:38 AM

Overall I am very very pleased with my wedding. It was the most wonderful and magical day of my life. There were a few relatively minor things that went wrong. Nothing major, and the guests probably didn't even notice, but after spending so much time planning every detail, I guess every little mess-up is annoying. There's not much that I would have done differently, though, because most of the little mess-ups weren't really anyone's fault. Every wedding is going to have *something* go wrong; you just hope it's nothing major. When you have 100 intricate moving parts, I think it's just inevitable that 2-3 will go slightly wrong.

The only major thing I probably would have done differently is hire a day-of coordinator. I interviewed a couple and they were all insanely expensive (around $1000) so I just gave up. I relied too much on the site coordinator, who I was convinced was fully competent and would not need any back-up (and she was competent, but she had so much going on that day that she let some things slip through the cracks). I wish I had put more effort into finding someone cheaper. All of the little things that went wrong could probably have been avoided if there were someone other than the site coordinator taking care of things. I don't regret not spending $1000 on a coordinator, but I do regret not finding a cheaper coordinator. In the larger scheme of wedding costs, $300-500 for a coordinator would have been worth it to avert some of the things that went wrong (that ended up costing us about the same as a coordinator would have).

I would definitely recommend to future brides to either hire a coordinator or put someone in charge of coordinating on the day of. Do not underestimate how busy you will be. I thought I planned plenty of time for me to do a "site inspection" the day of. Didn't happen. *Everyone* at the wedding wants to talk to the bride and groom. You will be pulled in a million directions and will not have any time to even think about the wedding details on the day of. Also, do not rely on a close family member or friend to be your coordinator! Not because they're not competent (my BMs were amazing!) but because you want them to have fun that day. Plus, they will probably know a lot of people at the wedding and, like you, will be pulled in a million directions. Definitely bring in an outside person or a friend who is not that connected to other people at the wedding to act as a coordinator/details person.

The other thing I would have done differently is allocate more time for pictures. I did not want many posed pictures so I just allocated 30 minutes for them. Don't underestimate how difficult it is to herd everyone together. We ended up being really rushed and didn't get some of the pictures we wanted.

la_bride_2004

10-30-2005, 02:43 PM

Would you spend the money on a videographer?

Yes, and I am saying that even though I disliked the videographer's end product!

DH is a cameraman/photographer for a major news network. Usually, when one of his work buddies gets married, the rest bring along their equipment and shoot the wedding, and then they edit a finished copy at the studio. The thing is though, the friends never get to enjoy the wedding!

We picked an inexpensive videographer, and bought all the raw footage. I did not like her finished edited product (I thought it was cheesy!) but it was really great to see the things that were going on that I missed, like the cocktails and appetizers being passed out before the ceremony, etc. The day goes by in a blur, and there are so many things I never noticed!

DH will re-edit the video at the station, so eventually we'll have a good one.

nuhmah

10-30-2005, 04:09 PM

I had a BLAST at my wedding. Two things I would have changed:

* had someone near the light dimmer during the candlelight portion of our service. Everyone was given a candle when they came in, and noone dimmed the lights during that time. The affect was still pretty good, but it was really light.

* had adults run our guestbook table (instead of DH's college aged cousins who were late to everything that day, and found me minutes before the ceremony started to ask what they needed to do), and given them pictures of exactly what I wanted. I also would have done a "test run" of all the components of the guest book. Maybe also have taken a picture of ourselves to put in there as an example - we had the interactive polaroid guestbook, and it didn't turn out so hot because noone knew what we wanted.

Other than those two things, I haven't a complaint about the day. The things I anticipated happening (running late, a little confusion at the beginning, etc) were fine and happened like I thought they would, and all of my vendors were fabulous!

boilermaker

10-31-2005, 10:30 AM

Isn't it funny how some of these things stay with us for years???
We've been married over 3 years and there are still 2 things I get a little upset about.

1. The flowers. I basically planned the wedding over 1 week and settled on a florist because I ran out of time. I wish I had taken the time to make another trip back to my hometown and gotten a real florist as my flowers were horrible. And my MIL insisted on doing the ceremony decorations and I let her...but they were nothing like the pictures I had given her for inspiration. The worst thing is that I hate all my ceremony pictures because of it.

2. I wish I would have taken a few more days off before the wedding. The day before was so hassled and stressful that it wasn't enjoyable. This one I will eventually get over, but not the flowers.

Mrs.B

10-31-2005, 12:03 PM

I would have spent more money on photography and I would have gotten my make-up and hair professionally done. These things didn't turn out bad...but they could have been A LOT better:)

Lindsan

10-31-2005, 12:59 PM

I would have used a better reception venue and spent more on photography.

PG-rated

10-31-2005, 01:10 PM

I wish I would have taken a few more days off before the wedding. The day before was so hassled and stressful that it wasn't enjoyable.
You know, I wish I had done that, too. I took the last three days before the wedding off, but if I had it to do over again I'd take the whole week. We just had so much to do that falling even a little bit behind schedule (which always happens) meant that we were screwed. I didn't get nearly enough sleep those last few days, so I would definitely recommend taking at least two days more than you think you'll need.

jesseybell

10-31-2005, 08:29 PM

* I can't really say that I should have hired a different photographer, because we saw about 20 of their weddings before we hired them and they are amazing, but 1) a week before the wedding he announces his wife had surgery on her foot (elective so he would have known about it earlier) so she won't be the 2nd photographer, someone else will be - her pictures were no where near as good 2) we barely got any close up pictures of ourselves. A ton of amazing further away, very Vermont-like pictures, but not really any close up shots that would look good up on the wall 3) we've had issues with him delivering stuff on time. There are some other pics I would have liked to have (and we did give a list) but I am 90% happy with the ones we got.

If I really could do it all again (and I still could be guaranteed some of the shots I absolutely LOVE), I'd go with someone who did all digital (which mine do) but who also would spend a lot of time Photoshopping them, and then just hand us over the digital negs for us to do with what we want. We won't get our digital negs for 2 years and we'll have to pay extra for them.

* Video - We did NOT want to spend the $ but we did want SOMETHING so my MOH's husband did it...I gave them a list of must-takes (ceremony, entrances/toasts, first dance and cake cutting - thats all) and volunteered to buy extra tapes which they said I didn't need to do. Not only have we been married 5+ months and we haven't gotten it (I saw part of it briefly), but I KNOW the ceremony sound didn't come out because he was too far away, he didn't do the toasts/entrances and he had to rewind and tape over part of the cake cutting because he ran out of tape - they claim they still need to put it on DVD). I still wouldn't want to spend all the extra $ but I would try to get someone more reliable.

* I was way too hurried the Thursday and Friday before the wedding. I had NO time to sit down, put my feet up (except when getting a pedicure!) and reflect.

* I would have hired a day-of coordinator (or a wedding coordinator for the whole thing, though I loved that I planned and executed 98% of everything). Everything went off without a hitch, but the day before I completely lost it (in tears, not Bridezilla) because I didn't have faith that the Inn would get everything right. They acted like I was their first wedding.

* Don't stress about the ceremony music too much - You don't even get to hear it and no one remembers it!

* A picky thing...I really wish I had taken the time to have my dress fitted perfectly. I bought it at David's and it fit almost perfectly without being altered, so I just had the bustle done, but in my pictures, under my boobs, the material wrinkled and I keep noticing it in my pictures. I could have had it taken in some and the wrinkles wouldn't have been there.

* I was convinced that if I didn't drink then it wouldn't all be a blur like everyone said it would be, but that wasn't true. I don't think that there is anything you can do to stop it from all being a blur. There was just so much to take in and so many people to talk to. But it was one of the most amazing days of my life.

Sunshine

11-02-2005, 09:21 AM

sigh, the only thing I would have done differently was make SURE the video camera was charged before putting it in the ceremony box. WHen DH took it out to set it up, the battery was completely dead.
I think I will kick myself for the rest of my life:(

Oh yah, and we would have hired a live band.....I think it would have been alot more fun, than to have a dj play the top 40 hits.

emmjay

11-02-2005, 09:40 AM

The only thing I would have changed (if I could) was that 3 of my best friends weren't able to come. We got married in Scotland, so it was a long, expensive trip for people to make - one couldn't afford it, one was laid off 2 months before, and one was 8 months pregnant. I wish there was a way they could have come.

Other than that I think we had the most perfect wedding ever! :)

BerBer

01-24-2006, 08:12 PM

*bump*

maybebaby

01-24-2006, 08:28 PM

Don't stress 'cause everything will seem perfect in retrospect if you marry someone you love in front of people you love.

That said, I would have ordered more cake! We ran out--I think because we had two flavors of wedding cake and people took one slice of each flavor so no cake for some people.

I would have had a rain plan and a pretty umbrella ready. It was awfully threatening looking out there for a while for my gorgeous outdoor wedding. Worked out though.

I would have let the professional photographers be the main picture takers and discouraged my mom's friends from going crazy with their cameras (it was a little blinding and unnecessary to have so many photographers).

maybebaby

01-24-2006, 08:30 PM

Also we didn't have a videographer, just had a friend film the wedding, and I haven't even watched it yet though I love my pro pictures. I wouldn't bother with one personally.

bnaseelen2

01-24-2006, 08:44 PM

Our photographer was AWESOME. . .but I would have definitely made that list of MUST HAVE photos and gave her a list of them. When it came down to just telling her which photos I would like to have, there was just too much going on to remember which ones they were.

I don't have any good pictures of just Hubby and I's faces together, for our wedding announcement. I also don't have any pictures of just me and each one of my BMs and my MOH. DH doesn't have one of him and each of his GM/BM either! That is all I would have done different. . .the rest of the day was just PERFECT!!!!!!! :D

SMgal

01-24-2006, 09:53 PM

All I can say is that the BEST decision I made was to hire a videographer for our wedding. I was on the fence about this one up until 2 months before our date. I met a guy on an airplane who recommended I hire a videographer and I felt like that was "happening for a reason." I'm SO GLAD I DID!

I've gotten to watch the video several times with friends and my mom. Eventhough I'm a bit camera shy and I don't love how I look all the time, the video captures the mood of the day and I get to keep that FOREVER!

There is hardly anything I would change about our day, except that I've heard that some people had difficulty hearing our ceremony. I wish we were in a room that contained sound a little better or that our officiant spoke up/ or used her mic better...

I LOVED our photographer, but I do wish I talked my DH into taking photos before the ceremony. He was against seeing each other and as a result, I have GREAT photos of me and my bridesmaids, but not the BEST photos of me and DH. After the ceremony, DH was anxious to get back to his party and you can see it on his face...

Hope this is helpful! :D

fifibee

01-24-2006, 10:32 PM

I have to echo SMgal's response about videographer. DH originally didn't care too much about videography b/c he focused only on photography. But then I really wanted a video and so he caved. When we finally got the end product back, we were so impressed with some of the things that were not caught on camera! Our videographer was an all-or-nothing kinda gal, so she did a fantastic job on our wedding video. I've watched it at least 15 times with friends and family and each time, I'm impressed with the details and thought put into the editing and capturing the mood and emotion of the day. :cool:

If there is something I would do differently... I guess I would've paid more attention to how my dress fit. I bought a floor sample dress that was in my size for quite cheap. It fit pretty well for a while until I lost some weight right before the wedding. It wasn't until I got my photographs back that I realized, the dress tend to fall down a bit and show off some major cleavage. I wished someone would've told me so that I could adjust accordingly. <UGH>

laurenc

01-25-2006, 08:21 AM

i wish i'd been more demanding with the seamstress. i loved my dress, but i looked like i had rocket boobs because she insisted on putting in these giant bra cups into the bodice and, well, i'm not a large-chested gal... i was so stressed out that i just sort of went with the flow, and in the end, i looked a little bit, er, pointy.

i wish i hadn't done my first hair trial a week before the wedding. yeah, bad planning there. give yourself plenty of time to decide how you want to do your hair.

i also wish the weather was better so we could have done outdoor pictures (there was a thunderstorm right after the ceremony was over), but there's nothing anyone can do about *that*!!!

Tonysweetie

01-25-2006, 08:25 AM

Oh I have a bunch, lol

1.) Had a strapless or spag. strap gown instead of halter toped , b/c my seamstres never could get it to fit me right and it ended up being to big at top and it made my boobs look to big.

2.) Got married in a church b/c we had planned an outdoor wedding on a golfcourse outside our reception on a large terrace and it rained so we ended having our ceremony inside a room in the club it was beautiful still but I was a bit disappointed.

3.) Hired a video person. I opted not b/c of money but I almost wish I had a video instead of my pictures.

4.) Had a bachlorette party (I guess that doesn't have to do with the actual wedding but I still regret not having one and DH had a bachlor party so I'm a tad jealous)

5.) Wore my veil in my hair instead of over my hair

6.) used a different flower besides roses

7.) Had a longer honeymoon, lol it was much needed :)

alegria

01-25-2006, 09:14 AM

What wouldn't I change! That should be the question! :D

First of all, I'd change my dress in a heartbeat. I didn't get the one I really wanted because my mom didn't like it... GRRR. I wish I would have said "to heck with you!" and gotten the one I loved. As it was, the one I chose was *very* similar to one of my best friends', who got married the week before me. I should have looked longer and harder for "the one..." :(

Secondly, I would change my photographer. He didn't take the type of photos I wanted at all. Too many posey photos and not enough artistic-type candids. Also, I had a list of things for him to take pictures of and he completely ignored it! Like, our transportation to and from the reception was my grandfather's restored 1923 Model T. The car meant a lot to me and he wasn't even around to take pics when all the guests blew bubbles at us and "waved" us into the car... GRRR.

Next, I was upset that the guy in charge of music at our church (who didn't show up to the rehearsal, by the way) played the organ instead of the piano for "Here comes the Bride..." I really only wanted that song in this beautiful church if it was played on the organ, which sounds beautiful! But the stupid guy played it on the piano and it sounded choppy and cheap (Not that is sounds bad everywhere on the piano... it's just what I wanted).

Finally, I would select a different DJ at the reception. I didn't listen to him in action before the fact - just took people's word that he was good. He was really annoying at the reception and even got our name wrong when we finally showed up! If I were to do it all again, I'd definitely test out my DJ by listening to him at other weddings....

Oh, one more thing - I'd make sure to either have a bigger cake or tell the reception people to cut smaller pieces! As it was, DH and I nor our wedding party and probably lots of other guests didn't get to sample our wonderful cake! The pieces were cut much bigger than we'd planned for.

Hope some of my "catastrophes" help with someone who is currently planning a wedding!

edited to add: I totally agree with the other girls on the videographer issue! My finished video is one of the things I'm most happy with, regarding our wedding.

QueenofCA

01-25-2006, 09:55 AM

I would have made it a point to sit down with the managers of the hall to double-check and verify the details.

Case in point:

We were supposed to have 2 head tables...one on a high riser for me, DH, the MOH, and Best Man, and then a lower one for the bridesmaids and groomsmen. We specifically told the hall this and we had our florist prepare flowers to decorate both tables.

Well, somehow, on our wedding day, there was only one head table. The florist called my MIL in a panic right before our ceremony started because she had tons of flowers and nowhere to put them. My MIL then called the hall who said that they had no record of us ever wanting a second head table.

It certainly wasn't the end of the world, and the head table still came out looking beautiful (although a little cramped), but it was one headache on the day of the wedding that we could have done without! :rolleyes:

j.d.l.102205

01-25-2006, 10:57 AM

I loved my day. It was wonderful. I wouldn't have changed any of the little goof ups during the ceremony...those were priceless and I love those moments. What I would change is:

- I wish I would have given my photographer a list. He did wonderful and I have some wonderful pictures of us (which is what the day is about) we are missing DH w/ just his sister, his sister's family, my niece (although I don't think that was photographer, I think that was 18month old.)

- I wish I wouldn't have had a melt down in the morning at the Salon (later that day I was just fine.)

- I wish I really had everything done (like I said I was going to) early so I had time to visit with my sister, bro-in-law, and niece.

- Last but not least I wish I hadn't been late for everything for 3 days...I think that's what led to the melt down at the salon. I couldn't be on time for anything. My photographer did say though if he had a dollar for everytime a wedding he has done has started on time he wouldn't need to be doing photography. Come to find out the actual ceremony started on time (and to think I was about 1/2 hour late that day, maybe that's why we don't have some of the pictures I was looking for.)

Most importantly I'm married and I'm loving my life. You can't live in the "if I had only..." it just makes you depressed. And like I said in the begining I wouldn't change anything about the ceremony itself...that's what really made it ours. Who cares I ran out of the church without my flowers, I had them for the important parts of the day!

bnaseelen2

01-25-2006, 11:23 AM

I have to add to my other response (http://www.constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=9335&page=6). . .

If I could change anything, I would change my procrastination problem. I procrastinated on the awesome table numbers that I wanted to make. I was working on them the Thursday before, and went out to buy more paper to finish printing them out, and on the way home got hit by a drunk driver and was in the ER all night. That didn't help matters, AT ALL, but if I would have had them done the week before. . .then I wouldn't have had that problem.
But those are the ONLY two things that I really were unhappy with on my wedding day.

They were little petty things. . .so I have to admit that my day was near PERFECT!!!!!! :D :D :D

msnicolea

01-25-2006, 11:40 AM

I only have one thing I would change and that's spending more $ on a photographer. Ours was "ok" but I don't love that many of the pictures. In fact, my favorite pictures were taken by friends and family and not by the photog. I should have spent more and got someone I REALLY wanted!

flygirl

01-25-2006, 11:59 AM

So many things went wrong at my wedding, but it's hard to say I would have done things much differently, because they were all snafus I didn't have any control over. That said, there are three things I would have done differently:

1) Made absolutely sure that my strapless dress fit me correctly. I kept hiking it up.

2) Made someone other than my brother and his girlfriend in charge of the guestbook & signature mat. They both wanted to be a part of the party, which is totally understandable, and so our guestbook table was unmanned. We wanted signatures on the mat, and actual wishes in the book. Instead people did one or the other, and they both look empty.

3) Been more aware of the details during our formal pics. Besides the fact that my dress was filthy after taking pics on the golf course, it was never arranged properly. Also, we took pics facing the sun and have too many shadows on our faces. As awesome as our photographer is, I can't believe he didn't pay attention to these things.

SwiftyOWB

01-25-2006, 12:10 PM

I would have chosen a different florest. I would have not been engaged so long 11 months and 1 day. I would have taken a less expensive honeymoon. I would have had less bridesmaids and more ushers. I would have registered for less things. I would have let the bridesmaids all pick their dresses. I would have been 3X faster taking portraits so I could have attended the cocktail party. Overall very small things
Things I loved
My dress, the photographer, the videographer, the reception, the band and, my wonderful husband

cindilouwho

01-25-2006, 12:30 PM

I loved everything about the day, except for a couple of things. The first, I would have picked different BM dresses. I liked one style and the girls liked a different dress. Although it was pretty, I think I could have found another that we all loved. I figured that if they were all paying for the dresses that they should wear what they were comfortable in. The second, would be to have the ceremony a little longer. I think it lasted 20 minutes. It went by so fast I didn't have time to enjoy and feel all of the emontion of our vows. It just went by so fast! Lastly, I would have had a piece of my wedding cake! I had gotten out of my seat to visit with the guests and never made it back to the cake. The remaining cake that we had went home with my ILs and they (and the guests staying at their house) ate the rest of the cake when they got home that night! One year later I finally got to taste my cake...

Other than those minor things I had a wonderful day that I will remember for the rest of my life and I got to marry my husband!

heather1029

01-25-2006, 12:53 PM

1.I would have had a longer engagement!!!!!(I was engaged for 9 mos). I was so busy with wedding details and projects up til the hour before the wedding!

2. I would have planned a speech to give to my parents.

3. I would have practiced the Dad/Daughter dance at least once before we went up there!

Etoile

01-25-2006, 07:18 PM

I wish I had:
Gotten a better crinoline slip--the one I got had one layer of fabric, bunched poufy, rather than many layers of fabric to make it poufy. This meant that all the fabric kept bunching up in back, leaving no pouf to the front, and making my dress drag on the ground. I kept stepping on it all night and it was extremely frustrating.
Not been so bitchy immediately before the ceremony because I was freaking out.

I'm very glad now that I:
Have a video of the wedding. I did not want one at all, as I hate seeing video of myself and hearing my voice recorded, but my SFIL took a video and my MIL made it into a very professional-looking DVD (she does freelance work in that area). I am so happy to have it now, because I have forgotten most of the wedding--it all went by so fast.

Jenyfer9

01-25-2006, 07:48 PM

If I had to do it all over again, both DH and I have decided that we would have hired a different photographer and would NOT have left for our honeymoon right away... we hardly had time to enjoy our wedding night (after the reception ;) ) because our flight left at 6:45 the next morning!

tgray99

01-25-2006, 09:43 PM

I would've gotten a better photographer. There are only a few photos from my wedding that I'm really happy with.

I would've hired a videographer for both the ceremony (we had a friend do that one) and for the reception (we didn't get one for the reception at all).

I would've told the church they could stick that friggin' nazi-beyotch of a wedding coordinator where the sun doesn't shine. I could.not.stand that woman.

southerner

01-27-2006, 11:45 PM

The only thing I would have changed was allowing for more time before the ceremony to take pics. We ended up rushed and never got some shots we wanted to with certain people.

Air conditioning would have been nice to have too :o

chortles

01-28-2006, 02:19 PM

My wedding was perfect :) I had a 12 page spreadsheet to boss people around with, though - heh. The only thing I would have changed is I would have planned out my own toast better. I completely forgot to research it. Thank gawd for my dear husband, who saved our newly-married-bacon by thanking my parents for hosting us which I had completely forgotten to do *facepalm*

curlyjr

02-01-2006, 05:27 PM

This is a difficult question because I had an absolutely beautiful wedding with every detail perfectly done. However, I wasn;t allowed to do any of the actual planning myself. My mother took over and if we disagreed she would threaten to not come and not contribute financially. I wish DH and I could have looked at flowers and invites and interviewed vendors and all that stuff.

jen

02-03-2006, 08:11 AM

I would not have left for my honeymoon at the crack of dawn the next morning. Ugh. It was brutal. I would have even considered waiting until the following weekend to leave! There is nothing "less special" about waiting a bit for the honeymoon----what isn't special is feeling like crap the first couple days of your honeymoon because you are so utterly exhausted! :rolleyes:

greenbunny

02-03-2006, 01:17 PM

maplekitty

02-03-2006, 05:10 PM

I got stuck talking to some people for almost an hour each, and I rarely see any of them. I so regret being polite and not telling them I had to go. My ex-boss talked my ear off through the entire song I'd requested to dance to with my mom. DH got through the tables to say thank you in 1/10 the time I did, and he was out there enjoying himself and dancing up a storm while I was stuck chatting. I wish I'd been more concerned about having fun than being a good hostess. Even thinking about it makes me well up, I regret it so much. Every now and then he and I fight when I complain that he didn't come "save me" from the talky talkersons.

That's interesting because I'm almost the exact opposite. I didn't get a chance to talk to *anyone* and felt so guilty about it! By the time food was done, the speeches, then some family photos, then cake....people were leaving and I hadn't had a chance to go around and even say hello to people before they were coming to *me* and saying *goodbye*!

PinkGirl

02-03-2006, 05:41 PM

Cath2005

02-03-2006, 07:01 PM

I loved my wedding so much but there are a couple of things I would have changed...

BM gowns - I paid for the girl's dresses as I really wanted expensive Jenny Yoo gowns and while they were really beautiful, it just wasn't worth it for BM dresses, I wish I had put that money into my own gown instead.

My hairdresser - My hairstyle was just OK, it was fine from the front but the back was just plain boring. I wasn't happy with the hairdresser when I had my trial and I should have found someone else but for some reason didn't bother.

My photographer - I loved him on the day and I am really happy with our pictures BUT it is 6 months since our wedding and we haven't received our album :( He is the slowest guy on earth...

neenbean

02-05-2006, 04:56 AM

I need to focus on the positive and things I am glad we did...
Married my DH:D I could not ask for a better husband and father to my DD. He is kind and understanding and very supportive. He loves me unconditionally and spoils me just enough so I don't become a total brat. :p We have fun together, even doing the mundane tasks of moving furniture around, grocery shopping or changing diapers. I am so fortunate.

Chose the right venue- we went against everything we wanted and had our reception at a fancy Marriott hotel. It was worth EVERY PENNY!!! They made sure everything ran smoothly and that we ate our meals. They decorated things exactly as I requested and my planner was AWESOME! The suite they gave us was so perfect and they put out champagne and strawberries for us- so fun! I was hesitant about having a traditional/impersonal setting, but it was really great and so many of our guests stayed the night there, too, so we had coffee with many of them the morning after.

Had the rehearsal dinner and day after brunch in our home: our family made this perfect. FIL and S-MIL hired a caterer for the RD and it was perfect in our own home. People were comfortable and it was a great evening! The brunch the day after the wedding was hosted by mom and sister and they put out a great spread. The ILs helped and it was so nice to see some more people that we may not have had the time to catch up with otherwise during our reception.

ETA: Visited with each table of guests between courses: DH and I had so much fun running to each table to personally hand out our CD favors and greet our guests. We had a receiving line at the ceremony, but this was real chance to visit with each of our guests individually. The reception staff made sure to gently guide us back to our seats when our next course was served. DH and I were so happy to have done this!

Things I would have done differently....

Researched/hired a better photographer: Our wedding was basically 2 1/2 years ago and I just printed the proofs. :eek: My photographer was HORRIBLE!!!!!!! He used low pixels and took terrible shots of so many things. He did not follow my requests- made a shot list- AT ALL and never took pictures of a lot of important things I wanted and was not thinking about the day of our wedding. I only had sheets of thumbnails up until last month and had looked at the pictures on Shutterfly. I was fairly happy until they got printed. So happy my wedding was so long ago or I would be crying right now.

Walked down the aisle ALONE!!!- my parents divorced when I was 5, and mom did most of the raising. So when I was planning the wedding, I asked my mom to walk me down, she declined, and dad offered to do it. Just days before the wedding, I told them both I would go alone. Mom lost it and cried for 2 days, so I said she could walk me down. After the rehearsal, dad freaked, so I told him if my mo agrees they can both walk me down... Needless to say, they spent the morning of my wedding yelling at eachother. It was awful. I ran and hid in the hotel somewhere so no one could find me and called DH crying. He got them to agree they would either both or no one- both agreed they could suck it up and walk me together. It was such a nightmare.

Order my place card holders instead of making them: Step-MIL and I spent 6 or 8 hours making caramel apples to attach our place cards to and they were awful looking! The apples were waxed, so all the caramel just pooled at the bottom of the bags they were packed in- so not pretty. I would have spent a little more $$ on having someone else make them.

Hired a REAL DJ: We 'hired' friends of my FIL to DJ. They were fine enough, but played songs more than once and did not follow my directions. If I were to do it again, I would have either spent more $$ on a real DJ or possibly just make better mix CDs so they would have had to just load the CDs and hit play. Hindsight is 20/20, huh?

Asked one more friend to be a BM~ we wanted to keep our wedding parties small, so I decided not to ask my friend from college to be in our wedding. In retrospect, I wished we had included her. :( Her daughter was in our wedding ("candle girl"- we had a candlelight ceremony) and it would have been better/easier if she had been a BM. She helped me so much the week of our wedding, she might as well have been a BM, but without the real recognition. I feel so bad for not asking her. I know she was not offended, but I am sorry I did not work things out to make it happen.

Eaten a slice of our cake: I just got the bite that DH fed me... :( Oh well. I have had my fair share of cake in this life. :p

ETASpent money having my bustle done: After spending nearly $200 to have my french bustly created, I realized my dress had a wristlet to hold my train up and I would have gladly just used that the ENTIRE night!!!!! I love that look of the bustle held up on the wrist and wish I had noticed before the seamstress overcharged me. Oh well.

gayle

02-05-2006, 06:28 AM

My wedding came out pretty much exactly as I had wanted it to be with a few, minor nitpicky complaints.

If I had it to do over:
I probably would have taken more time to find my dress, and gotten something a bit more interesting, even if it would have cost more ( I am WAY too cost conscious)

I would have checked the ceremony site after the Hotel set it up. They didn't lay it out the way I wanted, and they didn't even rake the sand (it was a beach wedding)

I would have skipped the table cameras. For us that was a waste. I got six rolls of complete garbage, one whole roll was literally shots of the ceiling, floors etc (my niece thought that was her personal toy camera)

I would have invited about 30 more people. We kept our guest list to the absolute minimum, and wanted an intimate wedding, but with only 40 guests, some of my closest friends were not invited.

Would have gotten more flowers, the money be damned, and done more site decorationg and reception decorating with them. Both my site and reception room looked pretty sparse.

Would have gotten a smaller cake. Mine was huge for the number of guests we had, and wound up in a toppled heap by the end of the reception (maybe I should have gone with a whole different baker.)

Would have made sure the Hotel supplied a microphone for our officiant. Even with only 40 guests, most did not hear the ceremony due to beach noise etc.

Other than that it was pretty darn near perfect.

littlelove8138

02-06-2006, 10:50 AM

(emphasis mine)

Would you be willing to share this 12 page spreadsheet??? Sounds like it could be useful!

i agree this sounds so useful would you please share?? :)

chortles

02-06-2006, 06:08 PM

Unfortunately I suffered a hard-drive blackout and lost my beloved spreadsheet :) Thank heavens it was after the wedding! But it is gone (sniff sniff). It was essentially a blow by blow very detailed itinerary of the entire day broken into 30 minute increments and who would be doing what/when (including all contact information and cell phones). I also threw in the shot list into the timeline for good measure.

littlelove8138

02-07-2006, 08:55 AM

wow yeah i'm glad it was after your wedding!! thanks for outline :)

gi_janearng

02-09-2006, 07:37 AM

I think the only things I would have done differently was danced more! I think I danced three times, the rest of the time I was mingling with guests and I was concerned because since we had our reception on a military installation, clean-up was on me and my husband, so I didn't want to stay late cleaning up everything and keep others late who wanted to be a dear and help out.

Adaya

02-10-2006, 06:32 PM

I only would have changed one thing. I couldn't decide if I wanted to wear a rhinestone headband or flowers in my hair and I went with the headband. I got married in the Bahamas and after looking at my pics on the beach, I kinda felt like the flowers would have been perfect.

Other than that, my entire wedding weekend was perfect!

ADSigMel

02-10-2006, 07:35 PM

My wedding was really great. But there are a few things I would have done differently if I could go back and do it again.

- I would have gotten more sleep in the days leading up to the wedding. I ended up with maybe 3 hours of sleep a night for at least 3 days before the wedding, which gave me a terrible migraine the day before the wedding. And on the day of, if it hadn't been for pure adrenaline, I would have crashed in the cry room before walking down the aisle!

- I would NOT have done my own flowers! It saved me a lot of money, and it was a great way to spend time before the wedding with my BMs and the moms and my wedding planner, and the flowers came out just the way I wanted them to. But it was just so hectic...none of us had worked with flowers on that scale before, and it was really overwhelming. Plus, a couple of people (my sister and my wedding planner) had awful allergic reactions to the tree fern.

- I would have planned the rehearsal better. I had detailed timelines for everyone for the day of the wedding, including during the ceremony, but I just figured the coordinators at the church would take care of the rehearsal. They did okay, but it took longer than it really should have because people were confused about what was going on. Plus, I let my wedding planner talk me out of fulfilling my actual role during the rehearsal (bad luck and all), so I didn't really get to rehearse the role I would be playing the next day, so i screwed a few things up.

- I would have made SURE to get all the floor plans done beforehand. I didn't give my wedding planner the final layout for the ballroom until the afternoon of the wedding (I made it while I was getting my hair done :eek: ), and by that time, they had already set the room according to my earlier sketches. So a few hours before the wedding, they had to remove four tables and re-set the other ones to comply with my seating chart.

- I would have made sure someone directed people to sit on both sides of the church. All of my guests sat on my side, which left my DH with only his immediate family on his side! Most of his family lives in the Middle East, and they weren't able to come, so the church looks SUPER lopsided. It makes me sad to look at the pictures. :(

- I would have invited a lot more people. Since our wedding was out of town for everyone except our friends that were still in college, I planned on 60% of the guests showing up at the reception. That turned out to be a huge mistake, because, although about half of the invited guests RSVP'd, a LOT of them didn't stay for the reception because of the big break in between it and the wedding ceremony! The ceremony ended at 3:30, but the reception didn't start until 7. I ended up having a lot of escort cards left on the table.

- I would have planned my video message to Ali. I haven't got the video back yet, but the videographer came to interview me five minutes before the wedding (immediately I made my confession), and I couldn't think of anything to say...I was so nervous I couldn't even keep my eyes focused on the camera, I kept staring off in the direction of the sanctuary! I wish I had written something to say (at least an idea) and rehearsed it.

- I would have ignored my mom when she ordered me before the wedding not to cry and "mess up the pictures." I cry at weddings. It's what I do. I cry at weddings in real life and on TV. I cry at the weddings that sometimes take place in my own head. But I was so shocked at my mom (not just that she told me not to cry - she actually SLAPPED me when she said it!) that I obeyed her. I didn't cry until long after the wedding, and I regret it to this day...it made it feel like it wasn't really me standing up there!

- I would have paid attention to Ali on my way down the aisle. I was looking and smiling at all the guests, and I didn't even glance at Ali except right when I walked in the door, and when I got up to the altar to meet him.

- I forgot to make the topper for the cake. It was supposed to be made of flowers, but I was so busy with everything else, that I completely overlooked it on the list of floral arrangements to make. I noticed at the reception that it looked like something was wrong with the cake, but I couldn't figure out what it was until I got the pictures back!

- I would have planned time into the reception to greet the guests...either that or done a receiving line. As it was, I couldn't go around to talk to people during dinner, because the belly dancers were performing and I didn't want to take any attention away from them. So we ended up having to push back the toasts so we could race through and say perfunctory hellos to everyone. Even so, by the time we got all the way around the room, some of the guests had already left.

I guess now that I list it out, a lot of things went wrong on the big day...but honestly, I was so happy that I didn't even notice most of it until later when I had time to reflect. If I had to give another bride advice, I would just say the same things as countless brides before me: Enjoy every moment of your wedding day, and everything else will take care of itself. You put in enough work beforehand that you shouldn't have to stress on the most important day of your life!

neenbean

02-12-2006, 04:32 PM

Other than that, my entire wedding weekend was perfect!

That is so great to hear!!! I am sure the headband looked great anyway. :D

tlew12778

05-10-2006, 09:44 AM

Had I had the choice, I would not have had the rehearsal the day before the wedding. It was really stressful and I spent the night yelling at the children who were in the wedding. The stress gave me a massive asthma attack and I didn't sleep at all that night. In fact, I almost went to the hospital. I was exhausted the next day.
I should have called the musicians and told them what to do just in case they messed up the music at the ceremony. They should have played whatever they thought would fit... instead they played pieces I had considered but did not necessarily fit (like the Canon in D for the recessional).
I would not have done the invitations myself. While I liked the final product and while I got tons of compliments on them, they took me soooooo much time bc I didn't have anyone helping me.
I wish I had flown back to the US for a bridal shower and bachelorette party. I didn't have these bc they are not the custom here and I sort of feel like I missed out on the excitement and the fun.
I would have planned our registry better. We started out with only stuff that WE wanted (ie. just china and silver and a few pots to compliment what we already have) then people started complaining we did not have enough on the registry so we added more stuff and we did not even receive 30% of the registry.
I would have started my dress process earlier. It was really stressful and I felt really unsure about the final product (my dress was custom) up to the day before the wedding. My final fitting was the day before the wedding!
I would have ordered my shoes earlier. They were supposed to be made with the same material as my dress and the shoemaker I chose could not do them in the end. He ended up using goatskin instead of the silk and while it ended up being fine, I would have preferred the silk. I would have looked for and found another shoemaker that could have worked with the silk.
I would have hired my own reception entertainment. We ended up using some friend of the family and he sucked. No one danced at the wedding.
I would have hired a wedding planner, at least for the day-of. I ended up being on my cell phone up until the second I walked out of the door to get in the car to go to the church. My ceremony music was all wrong and I kept having to field problems during the reception (like the speakers breaking before our first dance or the photographers who kept wanting to leave).
I would have insisted more with the florist to ensure that she copied the photos I gave her to the T. She did not use the same flowers, and she added stuff I did not want. In the grand scheme of things it didn't really matter, but I feel like the photos I chose were pointless. She also royally messed up the flower girl basket.
I would have just chosen a dress for my bridesmaids and been done with it. We tried to do the "get something black" thing and everyone ended up having a HUGE argument over it. Next time one of us gets married it's a watter and watters or whatever, period.

pyjammy

05-10-2006, 10:18 AM

I think my wedding went very smoothly, but there are always a few little things...

1. I forgot to get my brother to bring the video camera. I had a friend who was going to video for us, but I just totally forgot. Oh well.

2. We cut the cake at the beginning of the reception (to get the pictures out of the way) and I didn't tell the reception coordinator person to cut SMALL pieces. So the cake was gone within about half an hour!

3. I would have taken more pictures with my husband. Just the two of us.

4. Oh yeah, and I would have eaten one of the oyster martinis. They gave me two to eat and in my nervousness and excitement, I just couldn't even look at food! Of course later everyone told me how good they were. :rolleyes:

But really, those are pretty small things.

Michelle&Russ

05-10-2006, 12:28 PM

Everything went smooth and great and we had a wonderful time! But... if I had the chance there are a couple things I would have changed.

I wouldn't have left so much stuff for the week before, it stressed out my DH and my family
On that same note I would have worked out better sleeping arrangements, my mom, dad, sister, BIL, brother and his girlfriend all stayed with DH and I in our little 2 bedroom duplex - this caused a lot of stress especially for DH
I would have labeled the break CDs. We had a band and made some CDs for the breaks, we figured they would just play them so we didn't need to label them with songs... but as it turns out they played break cd 2 first and there were some songs missed so at the second break two of my bridesmaids were on the stage with the band's CD player trying to find Madonna's Like a Prayer! hehe! It was really funny looking back but it would have been so easy to just label the CDs and not have had that happen!
I would have taken more pictures of just me before the wedding. I didn't do bridal portriats so I wish I had taken more bridal portriat type pictures in our pre-ceremony pics
Taken more Bridal party pics, we had plans to take everyone to the capital for some cool bridal party pics but there was a big basketball game on and the guys were bummed to be missing it, so last minute we decided it would just be DH and me at the capital. In hindsight I wish we had taken a couple more bridal party pics at the church since we axed the capital - it was just all happening too fast!
More pics with my Mom at the reception, I know she was sad that there weren't more pictures of us together
I wish we had played a couple slow songs, our reception was mostly upbeat dancing songs and we didn't really have any (maybe 2?) slow songs after dinner ended. And my younger brother was really bummed that he didn't get to dance with me at the wedding - how sweet is that!
oh yeah we totally missed the mashed potatoe bar! It was a seperate station and the coordinator brought us our food and DH and I totally forgot to ask for the potatoes! doh!

But it was such a wonderful day, I wish I could do it all over again because it was so amazing! :D

Tonysweetie

05-10-2006, 06:35 PM

I have a few...

Had it videotaped. My Mom offered but I didn't want too b/c of money. I wish I had that video.

Had a different seastress. My gown wasn't to altered correctly to fit me. It was a tad too big up top and it bugs me when I look at my pictures.

Didn't have a a flowered comb in my hair. I wish I just had a plain comb.

Had a longer honeymoon ;)

jesseybell

05-10-2006, 07:56 PM

I already replied pages and pages ago, but as a year approaches, things I am thinking about:

1) Would never have asked my MOH's husband to do the videotaping (or been insistent on when we would get it) - 50 1/2 weeks later and we haven't seen it yet! Turns out they didn't know how to get it off the tape onto DVD and it hasn't been a priority (obviously) for them. Now they say we'll have it by our anniversary - we aren't crossing our fingers....

2) I would have been much more specific about the pictures I wanted of DH and I - almost all of them are far away (or full length pictures)

3) Definitely longer honeymoon! 10 days was not enough to go to Hawaii and back from the East Coast.

4) Allowed more downtime in the days before the wedding - Getting my nails and my hair down was practically the only time I got to pseudo-relax in the 3 days before the wedding. I was exhausted! Adreneline was the only thing keeping me going.

GeekGirl

05-10-2006, 08:31 PM

I can honestly say I would not have changed a single thing. It was perfect! :D

maplekitty

05-10-2006, 08:40 PM

I can honestly say I would not have changed a single thing. It was perfect! :D

yah...you're still in the honeymoon phase - give it a few months! :p ;)

Kinetic

05-11-2006, 07:53 AM

My wedding was beautiful and ran so smoothly. Here are some things I would have changed knowing what I know now:

- We should have went with the photographer with whom we had a gut feeling was the right choice. We ignored that feeling and went with a cheaper one. Our pics are so non-creative and unoriginal. I am just so grateful for all of our guest's photos, with which I made my album from.

- I would have worn my hair down, and not tightly back in an updo. I always heard that if you normally wear your hair down, wear it up for special occasions, and vice versa. It would have been a softer look if I wore it down, or at least half down.

- I would have taken more pictures with family and friends. I trusted that my photographer would know better to take a picture of us with our last living grandparent. (Again, thank goodness for guest photos.) It would have been nice if I thought to take a pic with all my pals from work too.

-My bouquet was too large. It was heavy and non-proportional. Who would have thought that would be a concern? Basically, it hid my dress in all our photos.

I am grateful that these are the worst things that happened on our big day.

Asha

05-11-2006, 07:58 AM

I would have worn my hair down, and not tightly back in an updo. I always heard that if you normally wear your hair down, wear it up for special occasions, and vice versa. It would have been a softer look if I wore it down, or at least half down.
that's something i would have liked to have done differently too.

kemaji

05-11-2006, 08:47 AM

I would have kept more control over our flowers. They were done by a family friend and since I was planning from a distance, I tried to be as accomodating as possible. I ended up having pretty much exactly what I didn't want in the end. I also would have made my bouquet myself, because our florist really didn't know what to do with the orchids and I had researched exactly how to make the bouquet.

In the getting ready photos, I would have "staged" the room a bit. As it is, in the pictures of my dress hanging on the hanger, DH's huge red duffel bag is right behind it and it kind of ruins the shot. I also would have insisted to DH that we don't get the bare bones package and we have our photographer retouch some of our favorites instead of me doing it all.

I would have arranged for the linens myself, instead of relying on my caterer to get it right. He is also a family friend and not the most organized person, so when he got the delivery of linens, not only was the red wrong, but there were some white one as well.

Squee

05-12-2006, 07:54 AM

I dont know if I would change anything but I wouldnt take the s!@# that I took. i would have complained, stomped my feet and well got bridezilla on their asses!
Dress
Where I got my dress altered put biro pen marks onthe back of my dress.
Where I got it pressed put a black mark on the back.
Reception
Would have complained after the honeymoon that they didnt listen to ant of the orders given to them regarding the bar tab.
Flowers
Would have kicked up a stink when I picked them up and they told me they were 5 hydrangeas short of what I had ordered! They had not contacted me before hand to tell me that they werent going to have enough. Imagine if I needed them. All they did to was tell me to go steal some from someones garden!!!
Cake Would have had a professional ice it from the get go rather than MIL
Photographer Some great points about getting a friend/semi pro doing it but definatly wouldnt go that route again! major communication issuses and being charged for things we got but didnt ask for!
Hair Didnt end up with an actualy trial..would definatly have gone with one!
SleepWould have had one hell of a lot more of it!!
GiftsWould NOT have opend them on the night

There are a few more and its going to take me a while to get over some of these things but other wise Im really happy with how smoothly things went.

Kimmer

05-12-2006, 09:40 AM

We had to plan my wedding twice b/c Hurricane Katrina ruined my original church and reception site. So we had to move the entire wedding to Atlanta.

I would have not let my husband pick the DJ he sucked.

I would have had one more dress fitting I hate the way it looked in my pictures.

I would have picked a different cake flavor the cake was beautiful but I didn't like the cake flavor on one layer.

I would have had a table set up for me and DH we didn't sit down or eat at the reception and we had time.

I would have had different flowers for my bouquet

I would have taken more pics with DH just us alone.

I would have canceled the rehearsal, it wasn't needed.

But everyone tells me how perfect and beautiful the wedding was and they had such a wonderful time. DH tells me all the time how great the wedding was and how much fun he had; I need more time:o

kk junebug

06-07-2006, 06:57 AM

we would have not taken the extra steps to hire transportation to/from the reception back to the hotel....not many people stayed in the hotel afterall so it really didnt matter.

we would have picked a closer hotel to "block" rooms with. Since we only had about 10 rooms reserved, it really wouldnt have mattered which hotel it was at. (we went w/the only hotel who had transportation to/from the reception)

personally i would have used a different hair salon. while all of our hair looked GREAT, the salon wasnt that professional, ran late, overcharged...couldnt tell me ahead of time that their credit card machine wasnt working!!!&^!@$!
i've never been back since!

i wish we didnt include "& guest" w/some of our single-guests. in fact, everyone who was single at our wedding who brought a date....is no longer w/that person. HA. could have saved my parents a few hundred bucks!

overall though our wedding went just as planned. i made it a point to stay very laid back and calm thru the whole thing and i think it really helped in the long run!