TTC, Pregnancy and The Boss - Rant & ??

[Delaney21]

I started a new job in June and a couple of weeks after I started, my boss made a comment that I should wait at least 2 years to get pregnant. His main reason was that he wanted me to be a part of management before I got pregnant and I would get there a lot faster if I wasn't pregnant or had a baby.

DH and I are starting the TTC journey this month because I realized that having a family is a lot more important to me than the fast track to management. I'm not telling anyone that we are TTC, so when I get pregnant, my boss will be shocked. (It will be very bad, I would almost prefer to quit than to tell him I'm pregnant)

Ok, getting to the story. This morning my boss (J), a co-worker (K) and I were talking about sleep and how much we require each night. (This was all a very light hearted coversation) I said I liked to get at least 8 hours a night, and K made a comment about how that would all change once I have a baby. She said she couldn't imagine doing it at her age right now (mid-50s) and I replied, "that's why I'm planning on having kids while I'm still young". J gave me a pissed off look and said, "Don't be getting any ideas!", and then stormed off.

Should I respond to his comments like this? I won't tell him that we are TTC, but should I be saying something? Am I doing something wrong by letting him continue to say things like this? And then when I do get pregnant, how do I tell him?

[Smillow]

I don't think your family is any of his business. There are all sorts of things that happen to change people's life situations (including TTC, getting pg, etc.) This is just a job! I don't think your boss should be privy to anything that happens in your bedroom. I would be very professional when you need to tell him about your pregnancy (and I would wait until at least 12 weeks unless it becomes necessary earlier). Your place of employment is not purchasing your whole life when they issue your paycheck!

[mrsfromage]

I would avoid discussing this topic AT ALL at work...it could put you at a disadvantage. If you think you won't stay there once pg or after you have a kid, then look for another job, but why disadvantage yourself when you're still there?

And of course, his comments to you on the subject are totally inappropriate.

[Asha]

what your boss is doing seems sexist and illegal!!! i am sure no boss would even think to say that to a male employee.

[Meredith]

His comments are completely out of line. I would tell him in private that his comments regarding your private life offend you and are not appropriate topics for the workplace. Leave it at that and thank him for his time, then get back to work. If he brings it up in the future, you need to remind him that this harrasment is illegal.

Don't stress about it. There are lots of jobs out there...this isn't the only one for you.

Good luck TTC! Focus on that (how exciting!) and try to let this nitwit's remarks roll off your back.

[dionysia]

While it's none of your boss' business and any employment action he takes against you may be discriminatory, I'd refrain from discussing any aspect of TTC or parenthood at work.

Di