My Anti-2WW

[ADSigMel]

This is probably better suited for the ATF groups, but it seems like most of the people over there are actually hoping for a BFP. I, on the other hand, am desperately wanting a BFN. So I didn't want to put this over there because I think it might make some of the TTC people feel bad (especially if I DO end up pg).

FF says I O'd last Sunday. However, my last cycle was 63 days long and annovulatory, and I'm currently on CD85, so I didn't expect to O at all, I was just waiting for AF to show up. So, in (admittedly foolish) reliance on my body's frequent refusals to cooperate with the laws of nature, FI and I UDD last Monday (and Thursday :o ). Well, that would be 1DPO and 4DPO. This puts me right dead in the middle of a REALLY unwanted 2WW.

I don't really expect/deserve any support, and there's probably no way to support me right now. I guess I just sort of wanted to vent.

[mrstim]

You know I'm here for ya girl!!!! PM me if you need to!

I totally understand - I didn't want to post in my journal, but my 2WW just ended about an hour ago - and I had mixed feelings!! I honestly thought I was pregnant (can you say very enlarged boobs?) and I'm not - so I understnad the anxiety!

{{{HUGS!}}}

Love ya!

Amy

[BTB]

I disagree that you don't deserve any support. Pregnancy and childbearing are among life's biggest events, and they're wonderful when wanted, and heartbreaking to want and not have, but that doesn't mean having when not wanting isn't difficult too.

FWIW - and I know you know this, but sometimes it's just nice to hear - the odds of conceiving really aren't that great. The egg lives 24 hours after release, and sperm are useless their first 6 hours in the female reproductive tract (must be capacitated in order to fertilize an egg. I know, it's not what movies like "Look Who's Talking" portray, but I promise it's true.) :)

So your odds of conception on 4 dpo are nil, the egg is long dead. The odds of conception on 1 dpo are not negligible, but they're not nearly as good as the odds of conceiving on, say, the day PRIOR to ovulation. Your odds depend on when on O day you O'd, and when on the day after that you DTD. (just rhetorical info, not quizzing you).

Anyway. I wish you luck and will anti-cheer you on in your anti-2WW. :D

[ADSigMel]

Oh, wow, Ames. I had no idea! At least if you had been pg, you would only be a couple of months earlier than you wanted...and you've got a husband and a house, while I have neither!

I swear if we make it through this scare, I'm not having sex again until we're ready to TTC, even if that's two years from now!

[maxandmolly]

I swear if we make it through this scare, I'm not having sex again until we're ready to TTC, even if that's two years from now!
Liar, liar, pants on fire!! you'll never make it that long.
Seriously, pg scares when unexpected and unplanned are no fun, and of course we'll be here to supoprt you, silly. I mean, I have created plenty of my own messes, and you girls suport me through them, so why we would not supoprt you just because you did something that is normally ok but there is a .0000001% chance that this time, it wasn't? Silly girl.

[DiscoDiva]

What do Anti-2WW, BFP, BFN, CD85 and all the other terminology mean?

[ADSigMel]

BTB, thank you so much for chiming in. I know you're right, it's really not particularly likely that I'm knocked up. It's just that we've been talking so much about it recently, and we've both had baby fever soooo badly. Plus, it's the first time I've actually had a genuine scare since I started charting 4 cycles ago (which was seven months ago, because my screwed-up cycles range between 31 and 63 days).

So I don't know if I really secretly want to be pregnant. It's altogether possible. I mean, it's not like my wedding dress won't fit next month or anything like that. :rolleyes:

[BTB]

2WW = two week wait (time from ovulation until a possible positive pregnancy test)
Anti-2WW = 2WW without hoping for a BFP
BFP = big fat positive (preg test)
BFN = big fat negative
CD 85 = cycle day 85, day 85 since the last period began

If there's others you're puzzling on, there's a huge chart in the family planning section - something about the topic matter lends itself well to acronyms. :D

[ADSigMel]

Laura, thanks, honey. I really appreciate it. I just feel so dumb...I mean, I knew we were being reckless, but I just didn't realize quite HOW reckless it was until I sat down and did my chart analysis.

DiscoDiva, sorry about the technical language. 2WW is the 2-week wait between ovulation and whether you can find out if you're pregnant. BFP and BFN stand for bona fide positive and bona fide negative (on a pregnacy test). CD means Cycle Day, CD85 means the 85th day of a menstrual cycle. Wow, it sounds a lot longer when I say it that way!
Let's see, what else? FF is Fertility Friend, a website that lets you chart your cycles to see when you are and are not fertile based on fertility signs like basal body temperature, cervical mucus, and cervical position. DPO means how many days you are past ovulation. Sorry again about all the acronyms.

P.S. BTB and I cross-posted. Yes, BFP and BFN may also mean "big fat positive" and "big fat negative."

[DiscoDiva]

Gotcha! I came in because I saw WW, which I know to mean Weight Watchers. :)

[maxandmolly]

Laura, thanks, honey. I really appreciate it. I just feel so dumb..
YOU feel dumb? YOU? Hi, honey, you've commented, so I KNOW you've read my lj, and YOU feel dumb?
Sorry, but I got you beat on that, everyday, and twice on Sunday. ;)
Everything will be fine. But I think the real question is, was it an accidentally on purpose kinda thing? I know how bad your baby fever is.......

[ADSigMel]

Disco Diva
LOL, I wish for that WW! I need to join that one and leave the 2WW alone!

Laura
Yeah, I think it actually might have been sort of accidentally on purpose. We've really been doing more of the "let's see what happens" than "trying to avoid" anyway, even though we haven't admitted it, even to ourselves. This just sort of brings home the fact that it's not time for that yet. Like, I won't be suicidal or anything if I end up pregnant, but I won't be the happiest girl around either.

[Natasha]

Here's hoping you get a BFN! Waiting is the worst part, but I'm sure it will eb fine.

[Sherb]

Mel...You'll be fine - no matter what the outcome. Although I agree with the PP who said that the odds are very much in favor of you not being preggers. But the mind loves to play with your emotions and pregnancy scares are never fun. I think you will be fine and you won't have your precious twins 8 months after your wedding. :)

[ADSigMel]

Natasha
The waiting is definitely killing me, and I didn't even realize until today how close we had cut it! It's still possible that I ovulated four days earlier than FF thinks I did, in which case I could actually be getting a visit from AF Tuesday. But if not, I have to wait until next weekend. I'm fighting the urge to run out and test right this minute, even though I know it would be negative this early. Yeah, I'm not the most patient girl in the world.

Aimee
Yeah, I know. But, sigh, it really would be awesome to have little Gabriel Christoper and Michael Donovan (or Mohammad Ali and Ahmad Ali) in time for the 4th of July! I know, I know, I wouldn't be able to clerk next summer if that were the case. Why can't we just be independently wealthy? :( It's times like this when I wish I were marrying into money. It sucks to really need to have a job - I'd be SUCH an awesome SAHM!

[BTB]

Just thinking about you - in a non-creepy, non-stalkery way. :)

[ADSigMel]

Whoopsie I had forgotten about this. My 2WW ended with a much-anticipated (if somewhat unwelcome) visit from Aunt Flo 4 days ago. We're glad we're not pg, but sort of wistful, too. Isn't that odd?

[maxandmolly]

Thanks for the update, Mel.

[Natasha]

Not odd at all. I felt like that after a pregnancy scare with an ex, even though I KNEW I didn't want to be pregnant. YAY for AF (in a weird way).