TTC #1 in a couple of months?

[Aletheia]

This didn't start out as a group, but now it is! We pre-TTC ladies wanted a group of our own to commiserate and prepare with. Watching our TTC and BFP counterparts is exciting but also scary... we're building support before we even start. Why not?

For myself, I am taking advice I read on another thread to heart as much as possible, namely: "hope for getting pg in cycle one, prepare for not getting pg until cycle twelve." But this is much easier said than done. If I'm counting down weeks until baby roulette begins, how will I make it through multiple 2 week waits? I know I need to pace myself, but it's hard!

Cheers, and good luck to you! :D

Aletheia's Anal Retentive TTC List
"If I can't control whether I get PG, I might as well control everything else."
"The unknowns of TTC? I won't take them lying down!"
CM supporting tricks

Grapefruit juice: Supposedly helps boost CM production. Plus, it's just good for you.
Robitusin: Robitussin is a brand name of a product that is based on guaifenesin, an expectorant. There are other guaifenesin based cough syrups also (Equate also has one). It is used in TTC to thin the CM mucus to make it more sperm-friendly. 1-2 tsp. twice daily until ovulation. Make sure the product only contains guaifenesin without added decongestants or antihistamines, which could dry your CM.
BEWARE:Dextromethorphan, an ingredient in some cough medicines, may cause birth defects. (from: tryingtoconceive.com (http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/faqsTC.htm#q12))
Green Tea: Reputedly also helps with EWCM. Drink as much as possible starting CD1 up to O. I think there are also capsules out there. Consider decaf if you don' usually have caffeine.
Stop taking antihistamines: Claritin, etc. dry you up. Stop taking them a couple weeks before O if you can.
Take Evening Primrose Oil: EPO is used to increase the amount of EWCM. The dose is 3000 mg once daily. Discontinue EPO when your thermal shift occurs as it can cause uterine contraction which may hinder implantation of the embryo in the uterus. (Also taken from: tryingtoconceive.com (http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/faqsTC.htm#q12)).

Nutritional Tricks
Prenatals 3+ months prior: Folic acid prevent neural tube defects
Men's multi with zinc, A, selenium for DH: Supports spermies
No Caffeine: Research shows that too much caffeine can reduce your ability to absorb iron and increase your risk for stillbirth. Avoid coffee, tea, and colas or switch to decaf to increase your chances of getting pregnant. If you are a complete caffeine junkie, then the safe limit would be a cup a day. Try switching to a milkshakes which will boost your calcium as well and assist in conception. (from babyhopes.com (http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/getting-pregnant.html)).
No (or little) refined sugars and carbs: because it isn't good for you? What else?
Yams: possible chemical that encourages ovulation... and maybe hyperovulation (think fraternal twins)
No Peas: from maplekitty's post on page 2: "...a study conducted in India...what they discovered was that a natural chemical found in peas - called M-xylohydroquinone - did appear to have contraceptive effects....were found to cut pregnancy rate up to 60 percent. In men, who took the pea capsule, sperm counts droped by some 50 percent."
No soy or avacados: interferes/mimics estrogen production
No peanutbutter and no spinach: Apparently they deplete calcium, which is really important in building a baby.
pineapple during LP: Helps with implantation???

Exercise Tricks
Regular Exercise: (30 minutes 4 days a week). You shouldn't start a new exercise program when pregnant, but you can continue one; many women think it helps with labor and energy during PG
Kegel's Exercises:L&D easier, bladder control is a good thing
Tummy Crunches: L&D easier

Pre-conception Visit Issues
Rubella Vaccination:* make sure you're still immune from childhood immunizations; not a good thing to catch while PG
Renew Tetanus Shot: can't get one while PG even if you do step on a rusty nail.
Consider the cystic fibrosis testing question. (http://constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=7702): visit that link.
Consider getting a Flu Shot: Getting a really high fever in early pregnancy is no good.
[B]Visit http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/pregnancy/prenatalhealth/1428556.html?print=Y&submit.x=68&submit.y=5
*for more info on vaccinations, as well as other pre-TTC advice, see here:
CC "What to do before TTC" thread (http://constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=7288)

Miscellaneous Tricks & Advice
Red Raspberry Leaf Tea: (anyone know what this is about?)
Consider baby aspirin: see tryingtoconceive.com (http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/faqsTC.htm#q12). (End of the page.)
Start a baby/pregnancy binder: There is so much to know! Might as well use your anxious waiting time productively.
X-Rays: Get dental xrays done if it's been a long time; no xrays while PG.
Go Horseback Riding: no horseback riding while PG
Chart!: know that window of sweet fertile opportunity!
Meditate, avoid depression: supposedly helps somehow, and after reading this list you'll need to take a couple of deep breaths.

DTD Tricks
BD schedule: Statistically best to BD every fertile day so long as there is no sperm count problem (according to TCOYF).
Hips up, headstands, general pelvic up body contortions:go spermies, go! Hey, it can't hurt.
Morning Nookie: Higher sperm counts in the morning
Get turned on:: the more aroused the woman, the better environment for conception?


[B]Who's here and when are they TTC?

Graduates who check in from time to time:
(started in Oct.)
armadillo
Sare79
GA_GAL, as soon as AF shows!
Mrs. Jackson
roberta
Tonysweetie
(started in Nov.)
Bubeleh
maplekitty
Amaye- BFP 11/8!
cocoa-femme- BFP 11/29!
Mrs.Tim- BFP 12/6!


(started in December)
Aletheia- BFP 12/20!
Camdynlyn
mimieliza
QuarterCentury
Harmony96
Pocahontas



Ready to start TTC in January
LynzeyAHL (December/January)
Squee
lawgirl4 (maybe December)
dobler88

Ready to start TTC in February
BethIrish/Panties

Ready to start TTC in March/April
LadyD088 (April?)
RobynScott (March? May? Anytime now?)
ChristmasCarol

As Soon As Possible waiting on this or that...
manders
batgirl

May
numberlady

August
FilmGirl

[batgirl]

Yeah, I'm with ya!

Dh has been making subtle and not so subtle statements about starting a family for quite some time. Its funny, something just clicked in my head and I found myself responding "okay." The look on DH's face was hilarious. His face contorted into this shocked, scared, excited look and all he said was "really?"

I'm still scared, but find myself more and more excited. I had my preconception visit on Tuesday and got my blood taken for the rubella test. I mentioned the other tests suggested on these threads and she didn't seem to think they were necessary. I'll find out next week if I need a rubella booster (I'm so hoping that I don't!) and then its off to the races!

So (depending on the rubella) we are going to TTC #1 starting November! Are you going to chart? I think we are going to just "see what happens." At least for a while.

Good luck!

[Aletheia]

Hooray! A friend!

November is just around the corner. How very exciting for you! And that DH anticipated this decision before you did... I'm sure that's not too common. I think a lot more women have to wear their DH's down, like I did. :rolleyes:

For a while I was thinking I wouldn't chart, but I've already been charting to avoid, so I don't think it is really possible for me to stop... I know what's going on too well with my body, and having incomplete data to confirm it might drive me nutty... or nuttier.

As a matter of fact, I'm currently trying to decide if I will go "all out" the first month with the robitussin and green tea for EWCM, use OPK's, get DH on zinc vitamins, etc....

(I know, can you say "type A?") :rolleyes:

[Quartercentury]

We're going to TTC from December, too. Or, stop avoiding at least.

I've been charting for two years, and we've been planning to TTC from December for nearly that long, and I can't believe it's practically right around the corner!
For a while I was thinking I wouldn't chart, but I've already been charting to avoid, so I don't think it is really possible for me to stop... I know what's going on too well with my body, and having incomplete data to confirm it might drive me nutty... or nuttier.
Me, too! I have been toying with the idea of "just seeing what happens," especially because we're going to be travelling in December and January. But not being able to tell exactly when I ovulated and know when to test/when AF is due would make me even crazier, I think. I keep thinking that if I pack lots of charts and tampons for the trip, I will only need the one chart and no tampons... Like it always rains when you forget an umbrella, right?

[armadillo]

We've been TTC since August, but I had to answer the DH question. Right after he proposed to me, he was talking about having a baby. I told him to wait til we were married first. Then we waited to buy a house and get settled into paying a mortgage. But once he turned 30, he WANTED to TTC ASAP. Which is fine, because I've always known I wanted kids before I turned 30. He actually knows when AF is due and will bring home the HPTs when I'm just half a day late.

[Tonysweetie]

I'm still trying to wear DH down to TTC. I don't see it happeneing until next year but ya never know :) But right now were technically TTA but were not very good at it ;) So I'm hoping we concevied this month. DH is excited but nervous and I'm just downright EXCITED! lol :D

[BTB]

I'm not TTC - but fondly remember the countdown to it, this time of year two years ago, waiting for New Year's to GET HERE ALREADY! I wish you all luck. :D

[Twylla]

I'm having trouble waiting too. We're not avoiding right now, but we've encountered a few hurdles, and waiting for a baby seems so hard!!! What does that commercial say? "When you decide it's time for a baby, waiting 9 months is enough." Something like that, and it's true.

Of course, December is close, so you can occupy yourself with holiday shopping and decorating, maybe put a fresh coat of paint on the future nursery......

[Aletheia]

I have so much fun looking through all these baby-focused threads-- especially the belly shots! And there is so much to know out there-- baby signing, cloth diapers, disposable diapers, no diapers (:eek: ), furniture, toys, cribs, SIDS...

I don't feel overwhelmed, but I do feel really really excited and then so darn nervous. Who knows how long this will take? I don't like not to be in control, so I'm sure the powers that be are considering teaching me a lesson... :rolleyes:

Quartercentury, I'm counting down days! Or weeks, rather- 6 more until what DH calls "go time". :)

[Bubeleh]

I know exactly how you feel. We set this Dec as the month to start TTC a year ago, and I can barely contain myself that it is almost here. I went off BC in august, but my cycles have been a little whacky, hopefully it calms down before December. My only advice is come to the boards. I follow a pregnancy group as well to help get some insight about what is coming my way. Good luck and keep us posted.

[Squee]

I really cant wiat to start TTC, I think the only thing about it that Im not settled with is that is really the only way to tell that you have fertility problems. Im so afraid of finding out my worst fear!

Other than that Im soo excited, were going to start TTC as soon as were married. 11 weeks and counting!

[mandersald]

hi ladies-
with any luck, i might be ttc in the next few months too. i've been thinking a lot about babies lately. i haven't really decided why i've got baby fever so bad. dh says that we need to figure out money before having a baby, which is understandable. i'm nervous about ttc since there is information overload about all things baby, and i don't know where to start!!

charting to avoid has really been bad for my baby fever though, since i know how my body is working and every month when i get ewcm, i say to dh, "you want a baby?" i'm hoping that my clockwork cycles means that i don't have fertility issues. i don't think i'll go overboard with the ttc and more of the see what happens with charting kind of thing.

i like looking at the baby threads too. funny how sometimes i look at myself in the mirror and imagine a big belly, just like all the lovely ladies in the belly shots thread.

i think dh is excited too, and i can tell he wants a baby too since he's always laughing and smiling at the little kids in our neighborhood. now its just a matter of timing...

good luck to all!!

[cocoa_femme]

After a few "false starts," DH and I are both finally ready to TTC. We plan on starting in January (I'm going off the pill at the end of November). I am so excited :D!

Good luck, everyone!

[maplekitty]

DH and I will be starting TTC in Jan :D
I'm taking my folic acid, I've done the pre-conception exam, I've had my rubella blood test, and now we;re just waiting to be on folic acid for long enough.

I'm starting in on book #2 of my three books about TTC that I've bought. There sure are a lot of things that I never considered before...like did y'all know you shouldn't eat peas if you're ttc or soy. Who knew!?!? I've been noticing the "TTC" under people's signatures more, and it makes me wonder how long it's going to take us. It's weird to think that it might not happen right away, you know? I've always thought, "oh god, can't miss a pill or I'll get pregnant", but now I realize that there's only a 24 hr window of actually being able to conceive and the reality of "trying" seems to much more real.

Glad to keep along with all you TTC'er in a few months!! :)

[Aletheia]

No peas? No soy? Alrighty.

For others who are making their own Freakish Type A TTC List, here's another thing to add:
I bought multivitamins for DH. I read in TCOYF that there are certain vitamins (most notably selenium, A, zinc) that support prostate health, and encourage the development of lots of happy swimmers.

And hell, if I have to remember to take my prenatal everyday along with my horse-pill sized calcium, DH can take a daily vitamin too. I will be lugging around the baby by myself for 9 mos. for crying out loud...

[maplekitty]

No peas for men either!

[Aletheia]

no peas for men either? oh no. DH won't like that one.

why peas?

I'd like you all to notice that I've created some lists in the first post. Feel free to prompt me to add anything at any time.

I went to the library and checked out some past issues of Mothering magazine. Since, you know, I don't have enough reading as a graduate student. ;)

but, why not peas?

[LynzeyAHL]

I'm getting on the TTC wagon Dec/Jan also.

We waited in March b/c I got laid off and currently things are going smooth so we're ready now. I look forward to planning and 2WW with you gals.

[maplekitty]

Acording to the book "Getting Pregant: What you need to know right now" by Niels H. Laurensen, M.D., Ph.D. and Colette Bouchez

P.233

Peas:

"...a study conducted in India...what they discovered was that a natural chemical found in peas - called M-xylohydroquinone - did appear to have contraceptive effects....were found to cut pregnancy rate up to 60 percent. In men, who took the pea capsule, sperm counts droped by some 50 percent."

Soy:

"like peas, soybeans also disprupt your ability to get pregnant. The reason...their high content of phytoestrogens - essentiall, a plant form of estrogen that mimics the way our own supply of this hormone reacts in your body.

More foods you may want to avoid:

"Peanut butter and spinach: these should be avoided beacuse of their ability to deplete calcium...a mineral that is essential for your baby to develop and grow"

"frankfurters, bologna, salami, lunch meats: these foods contain nitrates and nitrites, which some researchers maintain can exacerbate the growth of some reproductive cancers"

[Aletheia]

From the remarkably uninformative site, The Overachiever's Guide to Getting PG Fast (http://my.webmd.com/content/Article/88/99728.htm?pagenumber=1) on WebMD:

MYTH: There's something wrong with you if you don't conceive within the first three months of trying.
This is a particularly nasty bit of misinformation because it causes a lot of couples a tremendous amount of anxiety and grief for no good reason. Although some couples do manage to conceive within the first three months of trying, a large number of other highly fertile couples take considerably longer than that. Consider the numbers for yourself:

Your odds of conceiving in any given cycle are approximately one in four.

Approximately 60% of couples who are actively trying to conceive (having intercourse two to three times a week) will conceive within the first 6 months of trying, 75% within 9 months, 80% within a year, and 90% within 18 months.


From babyhopes.com (http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/getting-pregnant.html):
Getting pregnant isn't always easy. Very few couples conceive on the first try. In fact, even if everything is absolutely in perfect working order, you only have a 20-25% chance of conception each month. If you are under 30, and haven't conceived in 12 months, you should make an appointment to see your doctor as there could be some issues at play with are preventing you from getting pregnant. If you are over 35, and haven't succeeded in getting pregnant in six months, make an appointment to see your doctor, as infertility issues become more prevelant the older you get. If you are over 40, then do not delay in getting medical help.

From about.com (http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/gettingpregnant/l/blgettingpreg.htm):
25% in the first month
60% in six months
75% in nine months
80% in twelve months
90% in eighteen months

[LadyD088]

Hey All...So glad this thread was started. We are looking to start in Feb (which seems like FOREVER from now!!!) We are thrilled and excited and can't wait to start.

We've already completed the preconception doctor visit last week and are awaiting the blood test results. Our only concern is my High Blood Pressure tendencies. We are keeping an eye on that though.

Other than that, I am just starting to read about PG stuff. Can't wait to share this journey with you girls! Good luck to everyone (not liking those odds Aletheia LOL)

Deb

[cocoa_femme]

...(not liking those odds Aletheia LOL)
Neither am I :).

[Aletheia]

Welcome, LadyD088!

Did I read somewhere that the 15-25% chance you have every month is additive? That is, that if you don't get a BFP after cycle 1, cycle 2's chances go up to 30-50%? And then cycle 3 is 45-75%? (Assuming normal fertility?) I think so.

But then I took a look at the thread Mystikal started (http://www.constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=5797) a while back, and :eek: :eek: :eek: ! I have to remember that those who had a more difficult time TTC are the ones more likely to be used to these forums since they've needed the support and want to in turn support others-- so hopefully that's why it seems that nearly everyone that replied to her question (how long did it take you) had months in the double digits.

At this point, if it takes me that long, you can clearly see that I will end up in an asylum. ;)

(But in real life, I'm not *actually* going to do everything on that list!)

[Sare79]

I'd like to join this thread!
We are TTC now. We began a couple months before the wedding(going off birth control, taking vitamins), and are waiting to see what happens for the next few months. We'll be getting more serious about charting, etc in the new year.
My DH is definitely excited, although not nearly as excited as me. Practically every time we BD, he says "Do you think we just made a baby?" ;)

[mandersald]

ok, i saw the link of the first page. (i LOVE the list, btw, aletheia!!)

but, i wanted to ask about the pre-conception visit. who here has been? what did you think? i guess i don't have any specific questions, but more along the lines of what your doc/midwife told you. any qustions that came up, how you felt about it all, etc? any thoughts on the matter?

and as far as peer pressuring me into a ttc date, hmmm, better check with dh, but i'll say december/january. btw, won't it be such a wonderful xmas gift to get a bfp? that is, assuming that hopefully we all wont be in the double digits. or actually, get lucky on the first try. :D

[cocoa_femme]

but, i wanted to ask about the pre-conception visit. who here has been? what did you think? i guess i don't have any specific questions, but more along the lines of what your doc/midwife told you. any qustions that came up, how you felt about it all, etc? any thoughts on the matter?
I had my annual at the beginning of September. While I was there, I told her that DH and I were looking to TTC in January. She told me that I should start taking a multi-vitamin with folic acid (she prescribed me a chewable prenatal vitamin) and a calcium supplement. She also said that I should start a regular exercise routine now as well. She did mention the statistics/percentages that Aletheia mentioned on page 2, but she said that we should wait until we've been trying for at least a year, until we consult a fertility specialist. Also, she said that I should stop taking my BCPs one month before.

HTH!
B

[Amaye]

My DH is definitely excited, although not nearly as excited as me. Practically every time we BD, he says "Do you think we just made a baby?" ;)

LOL! That sounds like my DH. We just started TTC last month which was my first month off BCP. He was the one trying to figure out what days were good to BD and afterwards was like, You think we made a baby?:p And while I was in 2WW, he would call me everyday to see if l had any signs...:rolleyes: "Are you spotting?".

He might just drive me insane before l get pregnant.:cool:

[GA_GAL]

I'm so excited to have found this thread. So many of my friends have just had babies or are pregnant and I can't wait any longer! I've been ready for some time, but waiting on DH to be "ready." Well, he finally is and we're really excited. Only one little problem though...I came off bcp in August and AF still has not visited. My cycles were never regular before going on bcp (usually every 2-3 months, which was kind of nice) so I was expecting this, but now that I'm ready to start TTC it is really starting to bother me. I just moved to a new city, so I have to find a new dr. here. I'm going to call for my yearly exam and discuss all of this with him/her.

Anyway, like many of you have said I hope it happens quickly. One of my friends got pg on her first try, but I've also watched friends struggle through many months of trying. Hopefully we'll all be the lucky and get a bfp right away. If not, at least we'll have this board and we can stress/obsess together!

[mrstim]

Yup - we're TTC'ing in December. I so agree with "hope for the 1st, prepare for the 12th." Dh is excited, but nowhere near where I am. I'm spending almost all the time on the internet looking at cribs, furniture, colors, etc. It's funny - I already have some of the bedding & am pricing paint, chair rail, etc. ;) Hey - I planned for a one day wedding for years, then why shouldn't I plan for a lifetime baby!!! :D

A

[Quartercentury]

but, i wanted to ask about the pre-conception visit. who here has been? what did you think? i guess i don't have any specific questions, but more along the lines of what your doc/midwife told you. any qustions that came up, how you felt about it all, etc? any thoughts on the matter?
I decided not to do one. I figured that I know about as much as they would tell me at the visit (take folic acid, exercise, etc.). I've been charting for two years and know how my cycles work, so there's no mystery there. I had a pap smear and STD test earlier this year, and all was clear. I toyed with the idea of getting tested for rubella immunity, but then I looked up the stats on the disease and found that there were fewer than 20 cases (in the UK, which is where we're living now) per year in each of the last four or five years. And I was vaccinated as a kid - my last booster was in 1993. So I figured it wasn't worth the hassle.

I did end up, though, talking to the travel medicine doctor, as we're hoping to get pregnant while travelling in South East Asia. So it wasn't a pre-conception visit as much as a "Please don't get malaria while you're pregnant" talk. ;)

[Aletheia]

Ooo! This is such good fuel for my fire:
Hey - I planned for a one day wedding for years, then why shouldn't I plan for a lifetime baby!!!
Thanks, Mrs.Tim!

I like QuarterCentury's stance regarding the preconception visit. I'm pursuing one, though, largely because I need an annual exam, but also because I need to check something off of my "things to do to get pregnant" list before I go crazy. ;)

[batgirl]

Wow, this thread really took off in the last couple of days! Thanks for starting it, Aletheia.

My pre-conception appointment wasn't much (I had already had my annual gyno appt, so no need to re do that thank goodness!) She wrote me a prescription for pre-natals, which I'll start Monday (I've been taking a multi pretty regularly, already). She also strongly suggested getting a flu shot. Are all you ladies going to do this? I probably will. I need to call and get my rubella titres, but other than that, we are ready!

Hey, I have a very quick question... I should definitely know the answer and feel a bit ashamed to ask, but...

When talking cycle days... is cd1 the first day of AF? Thanks! I need to know this before entering the TTC without charting thread.

[LynzeyAHL]

yup CD one is the first day of your period. Spotting would go on the previous cycle.

[Aletheia]

batgirl-
good reminder about the flu shot. I hadn't thought of that! I'll add it to the list.

November is almost here! Good luck to you!

[mimieliza]

December 10 is our TTC day - it's a complicated issue involving my short-term disabiliity insurance that is making us wait until that day to officially start trying.

If I'm counting down weeks until baby roulette begins, how will I make it through multiple 2 week waits? I know I need to pace myself, but it's hard!

ITA! It's practically all I can think about. Gah. If I'm this bad now, what will happen when we're actually TTC.

I need to remember to "hope for the 1st, prepare for the 12th." I keep imagining being pg next year - we're going to a wedding in April, and I'm already wondering what I'll wear if I'm starting to show. I can't help but think that this Christmas might be our last one without a baby. But most likely it will take me a long time to get pg - I have long, irregular cycles. I need to get prepared to be trying for awhile. In all honestly, if it takes a year to get pg, we'll be fine. It'll just give us more time to save $$$ and maybe buy a house. But I know that waiting will be so hard!

[maplekitty]

I keep imagining being pg next year - we're going to a wedding in April, and I'm already wondering what I'll wear if I'm starting to show.

Same here!! I'm even a MOH in a wedding in June, so I'm starting to think about maternity pretty dresses! We shall wait and see ;)

[BethIrish]

Hi Ladies! DH and I will begin TTC in a few months...our original date was December, but I have my annual exam in January, so I think we'll wait until after that. We're going to Ireland in May, so I don't want to be too pregnant (fingers crossed that I AM pregnant!) then.

As far as preparing, I've started a regular excercise routine - I've always been a lacksadaisical gym go-er - but I've started the couch to 5k challenge and I'm really getting in to it. I've also started taking a multivitamin. I never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait for my annual exam in January ;) Who ever thought I'd be looking forward to a PAP?!?! :D

Just wanted to say hi...I'm reading along even if I don't speak up often ;)

[Aletheia]

Hi Beth! I love your signature. :p

Just wanted to ask whether your multi is a prenatal multi or not-- the folic acid a couple months before TTC is important, since neural tube defects (a common result of not enough folic acid in mommy) happen in the first month or two months or something ridiculously early. It's good to get that folic acid in the body as early as possible...

I'm glad you are joining us! I'll put you down as January.

[BethIrish]

AletheiaThanks :) My girlfriend gave me a notepad with that at the top...I loved it :D

My multi is a Women's One a Day from Centrum. It has 400mcg of Folic Acid in it. I figured when I go in January for my annual, I'll talk to my Dr. about taking a prenatal. From what I've read, just taking a regular multi at this point is a good idea :)

[Bubeleh]

We didn't do a pre-conception visit, but at my annual we talked about what I needed to do before TTC. DH & I both went on multi's (he takes Multi by Centrum for Men, and I take the One a day for Women). I also increased my calcium and hit the gym 5-6 days a week. I recently finished my second AF since coming off BC and it was super short and light, only 2 days. I really hope that's not hinting that there is a problem, and its just my cycle trying to get back.

I also read TCOYF, and it was really insightful, but I think we are going to just see what happens, and if nothing happens we'll start charting.

I have a wedding in July and I really hope to be worry about buying a maternity dress :D

[Aletheia]

mimieliza- december 10th is just around the corner! I'm supposed to start around december 5th... that would mean we both might get a fabulous christmas/holiday present!

here's hoping.

[Aletheia]

So I might cross post this, but thought I'd ask here, first.

Because I've heard that being more aroused makes a positive difference to the fertility climate, and also because I want to prevent the baby-making blues ("sex again? oh lordy! :rolleyes: ") I'm curious what tips/herbs/nutritional information people have heard that helps increase female libido. A friend today tells me that licorice does the trick... can anyone confirm that? Or provide other tips?

Just wondering.

[mrstim]

I'm so READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm freaking out - I know it's close but I.Want.It.NOW!

I know I'm crazy, but I want to TTC today - not 54 days from now!

(yes, I have a countdown!)

[jennylou]

This appears to be a group thread (from the roster on the first page), so I am moving it to FP Groups.

GL to all of you ladies as you approach your TTC date. :)

[Amaye]

So today is CD 11 and I have been having sharp pains around my ovaries. I am now starting to wonder if l am ovulating but l can't be right? Maybe it's a cyst?? I have had cysts in the past while l was on BCP and hoping they would go away.

This is so confusing. I am not charting so l can't count on anything. Maybe l will just test using an OPK.

[Aletheia]

Udohen-
I sometimes have cramps/pains that early- it seems to me that my worst o pains happen way too early or way too late, which (rather unscientifically) has led me to believe I feel worse pains when my body is struggling to O for some reason-- so maybe you are gearing up to O, but it will be a failed attempt?

It's hard to say without you charting. An OPK might be helpful; I've not used them so I can't say for sure.

[Amaye]

Maybe that is what is happening. I used an OPK last night and it was negative.

The pain has gotten worse and l am pretty much hunched over in pain in my office. I think I need to call my doctor.

[BethIrish]

I'm so READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm freaking out - I know it's close but I.Want.It.NOW!

I know I'm crazy, but I want to TTC today - not 54 days from now!

(yes, I have a countdown!)

I'm with you, mrstim...I don't have a countdown yet, but man, if I could start tomorrow I totally would!!!! :D

Hmmm....I think I need to count how many days until we start....I know how many AF's I have...2! (maybe 3...):p :p :o

[mrstim]

Glad someone else is with me. I'll repost here what I posted last night in my journal....

I was kinda down all day - feeling crazy emotionally. I saw a really adorable baby online and started bawling tonight b/c I want a baby so bad. It's crazy. I sat in the baby room with my bedding & diaper bag and just cried and cried. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isn't it funny how our lives change???

You know, while we were dating, we both agreed to wait 2 years before TTC'ing. I was scared out of my mind for the first 7 months of marriage - I did NOT want to get pregnant. So we thought - we'll wait until MArch. Then after we found out my pill pack expires in Dec, we decided to start then. Now all I want is to see a positive test. I guess I find it ironic that the one thing I dreaded and was scared of I know am longing SO much.

I am thinking this way - if it's my time to be pregnant, I reckon I'll see a BFP this month. If not, I reckon I'll see AF. Of course, waking up at 12:30, 1:30, 2:00, 3:45, 5:00 and then finally at 6:00 today didn't help - I dreamed about babies the whole time and woke up sobbing AGAIN! UGH.

In a nutshell - I found my dream bedding, they were discontinuing it so I bought it - and then I found a pretty expensive diaper bag marked way down, so I bought it - and so they're sitting in the closet in the future nursery. So when the bumper came yesterday, I sat and cried and cried.

But I'm ok now. DH bought me chocolate & mt. dew.

53 days - **sigh**

[LadyD088]

Glad someone else is with me. I'll repost here what I posted last night in my journal....



In a nutshell - I found my dream bedding, they were discontinuing it so I bought it - and then I found a pretty expensive diaper bag marked way down, so I bought it - and so they're sitting in the closet in the future nursery. So when the bumper came yesterday, I sat and cried and cried.

But I'm ok now. DH bought me chocolate & mt. dew.

53 days - **sigh**

Awwww Mrs.Tim!! That is just so precious!!! When I received my bedding in the mail, I could have cried. It just seems so real now, you know? Great job finding the discounts. Any chance you have a pic of it? Would love to see it!

Hope you are having a fab day.

Deb

[Aletheia]

I'm saying a silent little prayer for all of our husbands, as they wonder why nursery bedding can make us teary-eyed and why in 7 months we can make the transition from no-baby-no-how to yes-baby-right-NOW.

Seriously. We've got this forum for other teary-eyed women. What do they have? They have a little prayer from Aletheia: may all DH's have good instincts so they know how to cope with us right now.

It seems that Mr. Tim's got the right instincts down: chocolate is ALWAYS the right answer. :D

***

If I allowed myself to buy anything baby right now I think I would lose it, too. That's why I'm strictly limited to two-dimensional baby stuff (on tv, on the internet, and in magazines.) The 3-d actual clothes and actual bedding would require that DH bring more chocolate than there is in the world. ;) So please, post pictures so that I may live vicariously!

I'm gearing up to O for the last AF before TTC, and lordy, it's making me crazy. December 5th is a'comin'!

[mrstim]

Alright - since I'm responsible for A's living vicariously....here it is.

Room itself (of course, I don't have furniture, or chair rail - we just bought chair rail tonight. Envision a chair rail hiding my crappy paint job, please)

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce05b3127cce94a1231925c600000016108AbtGzJk4Ytf

Crib & changing table (not the armoire, it's too $$$)
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce02b3127cce94a526c7afbf00000016108AbtGzJk4Ytf

Dresser: (already purchased)
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce01b3127cce94b60dc3270a00000025118AbtGzJk4Ytf

Quilt, Bumper & sheet:
http://a293.g.akamai.net/7/293/5910/0010/image2.styleinamerica.com/pkecimgs/images/products/200540/0006/img89m.jpg

Another pic of the quilt - and the bedskirt
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce01b3127cce94b6a1fb276400000016108AbtGzJk4Ytf

Saving...

[mrstim]

curtain idea (I'm going to replace the valance with a green gingham one though)
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d705b3127cce941415d22f6c00000016108QctWzRuyaW

Mobile
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d705b3127cce941418606f4000000016108QctWzRuyaW

Diaper Bag:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0003069HA.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0003069HA.01.PT06.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

And of course, due to hand-me-downs from a friend & my own purchases, Future Baby T (FBT) has plenty of clothes, as does soon to be expectant mommy - this is my collection of baby & maternity clothes, shoes, etc. This is my craft/baby closet, excuse the mess.
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce07b3127cce95556e79c55b00000025118AbtGzJk4Ytf

Wall Pictures - from Ebay
http://kidswallart.com/listedimg/4la.JPG

That's about it for the night!!

[BethIrish]

Oh...Mrstim, I love it! You are going to have a beautiful nursery. I'm with Aletheia, I'm limited to 2D baby stuff. I can't start buying...not only would I freak DH out, I'm also convinced I'd jinx myself. I get a little teary eyed every time I see a wide eyed, chubby cheeked little one. I know I'm ready for kids...even the screaming 3 year old in the toy aisle at Target makes me want one :eek:

[mrstim]

I AM SO with you!! Last night in church the little girl who was born in February began screaming - Tim leaned over and said "hey you still want one?" I answered - with every part of my being.

I shouldn't have bought stuff, but I couldn't help myself. It looks as if they're discontinuing that bedding, so DH told me to spring for it. I don't have the furniture yet, just the bedding, clothes & diaper bag - but that's way too much already! Just thinking of all the stuff we'll ahve to store & buy & register for gives me hives! Hey I've still got an entire closet full of wedding gifts :eek:!!

[LadyD088]

Mrs. Tim - LOVE It all!!! Your nursery is going to be quite lovely. Great color scheme.

Beth - You crack me up! Those Temper-Tantrum kids make me RUN from wanting to have any kids!! LOL DH and I always look at each other and ask, do we REALLY want THAT? HEHEHE

Deb

[BethIrish]

LOL - see I'm operating under the premise that MY child would never throw a temper tantrum in the Target toy aisle ;)



KIDDING :D

[Aletheia]

I told DH that I knew I was ready when watching Nanny 911 didn't seem like a form of birth control. :) So I'm with BethIrish on the Target aisle kiddo.

Today I went to an herb store and had them mix me a fertility tea-- why did I do this, when I don't know that I really need any fertility help yet? Simple: one more thing I can do that seems to involve getting ready for baby! How silly. :rolleyes:

[mimieliza]

The only thing I've bought is a ten-pack of pregnancy tests. I'm worried if I bought a lot of stuff, and then it takes a long time to conceive that it would make me too sad.

[BethIrish]

I have one PG test at home - from a 2 pack when we had a mishap a few months ago ;)

DH and I are discussing (via email) our Ireland trip for May. I was telling him that I think I will take the Tuesday off after Memorial Day (we get back Sunday of Mem. Day weekend.) We won't be able to pick our dog up from the kennel until Tuesday and I don't want to leave her home alone that day when we will not have seen her for more than a week. So I said:

"I blocked my calendar off in May for the 19th through the 30th. What's
one more day when I'll already be out the week before? It'll still
leave me 9 days for the year, too. And, hopefully, I'll be on maternity
leave around the holidays next year so I won't really be worrying about
how much vacation I don't have."

WOW! This time next year we could all be PG or have a baby in our arms!!!! I don't know why, but that just dawned on me ;) (I know, throw a crown on my head and call me the Queen of the Obvious....)

[maplekitty]

So I might cross post this, but thought I'd ask here, first.

Because I've heard that being more aroused makes a positive difference to the fertility climate, and also because I want to prevent the baby-making blues ("sex again? oh lordy! :rolleyes: ") I'm curious what tips/herbs/nutritional information people have heard that helps increase female libido. A friend today tells me that licorice does the trick... can anyone confirm that? Or provide other tips?

Just wondering.

Working out, or atleast keeping active will definitely increase your libido! When your blood is pumping and your body is active and your muscles are working...your body just wants to "celebrate" ;)

But hoenstly...When I was a working out queen, I had the best sex-life ever! So now I really need to get back in shape! One of the best things to do is start walking. Take a walk at night,e ery night after dinner with your partner! It'll get your heart rate going, and you'll come home all heart pumping and little sweaty and wanting to go "take a shower" *winkwink*
LOL

[maplekitty]

Hmmm....I think I need to count how many days until we start....I know how many AF's I have...2! (maybe 3...):p :p :o


thats' exactly the way I'm thinking about it!! 2 more AF's to go! YAYA! I even have it all set out on our calendar. I'm not really going to "chart" in the specific sense of the word, but on the calendar I have the days I'm AF'ing, and the days I'm ovulating. So Curt knows he's not allowed to make any plans those nights, hahaha.

[batgirl]

MrsTim: I love your pictures! Your nursery is going to look fantastic!
(and if your DH is already supplying you with chocolate and MtDew, your one lucky gal!)

BethIrish: Your trip sounds awesome! We went to Ireland this past June and it is beautiful. Make sure you go to the cliffs of moher.

DH and I had a minor setback. I'm officially off of bcp (as of tuesday) and we were planning on having a romantic weekend this weekend and hoping to have some serious BDing this weekend. It would be cool to have a holloween baby! Anyway, I started getting really sick on Sunday, went to the doc on Tuesday and have pneumonia! It really sucks! Actually the truly sucky part is that the doc told us "no" about TTC this month :( And now I'm stuck at home on the couch watching "A Baby Story." Man, did you gals know that that show is on like 5x a day! I think I've watched them all!

Anyway, I'm feeling much better, but quite depressed about waiting another month to try. Looks like we'll all be on pretty much the same schedule.
Oops, gotta run. I think another Baby Story episode is starting!

[mrstim]

Bless your heart Batgirl!! Here's lots of .:.:.:.:Healthy Dust.:.:.:.:.:

Feel Better soon!

[mrstim]

Threadmistress, could you change our stats to say TTC:November, 2005 Please! Thanks!

[BethIrish]

Threadmistress, could you change our stats to say TTC:November, 2005 Please! Thanks!

Congratulations, mrstim! Fingers crossed for you that it happens right away :D

[Aletheia]

Wow! Okay, Mrs.T, I moved you up... since batgirl had to be bumped back to December, you are our first to gamble! I wish you the best of luck!

batgirl, oh yes, baby story is on entirely too often. but then there are also a lot of baby shows on Discovery Health. Just make sure to watch only the ones about normal pregnancies and deliveries, as unlike TLC they don't really spare any of the heart-racing details.

I hope you get better really quickly!

BethIrish, are you willing to share that crown with me? The crown for the Queen of the Obvious? I've had those moments too!

maplekitty, thanks for the exercise suggestion. Way to reinforce my pledge to go running again today... it's cold and I don't wanna, but now I feel I just might. ;)

[batgirl]

NO!!!!:eek:

Aletheia, Don't bump me to December!! If anything we were trying a bit earlier (end of October) because the doc said women tend to O the first month off of bcp. I have no idea how my cycle will be afterwards, but that's why I'm so disappointed about getting sick.

I'm sorry, I'm becoming an obsessed freek! Okay, better now :)

Please keep me at November... I don't care if I come down with Ebola, NOTHING is preventing us another month ;)

Yeah MrsTim! Its you and me babe!

Oh, missing Baby Story... I feel like a crack head!

[Aletheia]

batgirl, so sorry!!! i didn't know when you were cycling. i'm moving you back to november right now. ;)

go watch baby story!

[maplekitty]

Amy - November?? really?? you go girl!! :)

[Bubeleh]

I'm with most of you, no purchasing of anything baby related not even books. I think the whole TTC process is going to be a difficult waiting game without all the added reminders.

Threadmistress, could you change my start month to November!

WE planned on 3 AF's after going off BCP and with the shorter cycles that looks like it will plop us right in the middle of Nov for TTC!

[Aletheia]

Bubeleh, congrats! That's so exciting.

My good friend S was visiting this weekend; she just left about an hour ago. I haven't talked to anyone other than you all and DH about our TTC plans, but I decided to confide in her. She's not exactly pro-baby, so I knew I could count on her as someone who would help me talk through the practical side of the decision... esp. as regards whether I'll be able to finish my degree.

It just reconfirmed our decision, and telling someone other than DH was strangely exciting. I can't believe how close we are to getting on the TTC roller coaster!

[cocoa_femme]

I think the whole TTC process is going to be a difficult waiting game without all the added reminders.

Threadmistress, could you change my start month to November!

WE planned on 3 AF's after going off BCP and with the shorter cycles that looks like it will plop us right in the middle of Nov for TTC!

Congrats, Bubeleh!

ITA, about not buying anything.

[Aletheia]

I had my pre-conception appt today... it really made it real, sitting there in a waiting room full of pregnant ladies. And sitting there on the table with my hoo-hah hanging over the edge. (I also had my annual exam.)

She said all looked good, but since I have spina bifida oculta, she prescribed heavy duty folic acid for me for the month between now and TTC. I'm glad I went now-- otherwise she would have had me wait another month, and January is out for us since DH will be traveling.

[BethIrish]

I had my pre-conception appt today... it really made it real, sitting there in a waiting room full of pregnant ladies. And sitting there on the table with my hoo-hah hanging over the edge. (I also had my annual exam.)

She said all looked good, but since I have spina bifida oculta, she prescribed heavy duty folic acid for me for the month between now and TTC. I'm glad I went now-- otherwise she would have had me wait another month, and January is out for us since DH will be traveling.


Aletheia, if you don't mind me asking - how did they know you had spina bifida oculta? Is this something you knew before or a test they did in the office?

[batgirl]

Yeah Aletheia!

Make sure you take the prenatal vitamin on a full stomach. Boy, I made that mistake. Once!

Have you tried your fertility tea yet?

[Aletheia]

BethIrsish-Yeah, I knew I had it already; it was something I had been told would "complicate" pregnancy, but I had thought that meant my normal back and hip pain would worsen during the last trimester... I hadn't put it together that spina bifida is influenced by inadequate folic acid. Apparently this sort of thing can be genetic, but isn't always, so I'm choosing not to worry about it. Spina bifida oculta is apparently really rare, too, if that helps you.

batgirl-interestingly, i've decided not to use the tea because the herbalist talked me into including too many things. raspberry leaf tea is supposed to be good for pretty much any woman's uterus, I think, but chasteberry (vitex) and wild yam root and some other things are more to address hormone imbalances. I got a little sketched out once I did more reading- I don't have any known imbalance, and "fixing" something that isn't broken might in fact break it. I don't want to take any risks right now-- I know my cycle looks good since I've been charting since last March, so I'm going to just relax.

As this decision (TTC) becomes more real for me, it is easier for me to lay off my list and just "see what happens." Probably because I'm getting a little nervous about being a mom, even if I am excited. It's kind of nice to leave room for fate, in a way.

Gosh, that was long. Sorry.

[maplekitty]

Can we still take cough/cold medicine if we're TTC?
Or is that just when we get pregnant?

[Aletheia]

heya maplekitty- i'm by no means the authority, but i think there is at least one problem with taking cold medicine while TTC-- and that's if you are taking a decongestant or antihistamine instead of an expectorant during ovulation. The former dries up your fluids, the second thins them out. CM is really important to conception, and if it gets dried up by your cold medicine you'll probably have a smaller chance of conceiving. So, if you suspect you are ovulating and you really want to take a dry-you-up kind of drug, drink lots and lots of water, and maybe green tea as well, to help diminish the drug's effect on your CM.

I'm not completely sure, but relatively sure that's the only thing we TTC'ers have to worry about with cold medicine. Other opinions?

[maplekitty]

ok so its only realyl a problem when ovulating?
I'm not o'ing for another week...so I think im going to take some meds, cause my sinuses are killing me! *coughcough* I'm going to go back to bed now!

[Bubeleh]

Aletheia congrats on sharing the news. I'm still a little nervous baout telling anyone IRL incase we have some difficulties.

I have heard that both Robitussin and Green Tea increase your CM which should increase your fertility. Who knows, they could all be rumors without validity.

[cocoa_femme]

Threadmistress, could you please change my start month to December?

When I ended my pill pack last Saturday, DH and I decided to not refill it :D.

[Aletheia]

cocoa-femme, congrats! December is going to be an exciting month for a lot of us.

Bubeleh, thanks for the congrats! I was nervous about it too, and didn't say exactly when we'd start trying or even if I was for sure... I somehow feel that even one person knowing that we are definite in our plans will jinx us. How did I get to be so superstitious? :rolleyes:

As for the Robitussin and Green Tea, I can attest to both. (They're on top of the ever-growing list on page one, by the by.) I started drinking green tea before o'ing a couple cycles ago, and boy did it make a difference. Then, I happened to be on Robitussin for a cold, and I think I noticed an increase then too.

But quite honestly, the biggest difference has been when I'm not drinking enough water-- even with the green tea and the robitussin, the cm has suffered when I'm not drinking my usual liter or so a day. I think green tea and robitussin thin out mucus, but water is what mucus is made of, so that could be why.

[Aletheia]

November
batgirl
Bubeleh
Mrs.Tim

November ladies, are you bursting with anticipation? :D

I know many if not all of you are now on the actual TTC lists, but do drop in to let us know how it is going. In particular, I'd love to be able to post your expected O date if you know it so we know when the 2ww starts for you and can cheer each of you on.

Good luck!

[maplekitty]

ppsssstt...I just had unprotected sex for the first time in my life!! ;)

[batgirl]

ppsssstt...I just had unprotected sex for the first time in my life!! ;)

OMG, I hear ya! Tuesday was the first time for me! I'm still kind of freeked out about it!

Hey, Aletheia... I just read on a family planning thread that green tea can DECREASE folic acid! We need to check this out for sure. Does anyone know anything about this?

[cocoa_femme]

ppsssstt...I just had unprotected sex for the first time in my life!! ;)
LOL! Me too :D.

[Amaye]

ppsssstt...I just had unprotected sex for the first time in my life!! ;)

LMAO!!!!

Well, l am in 2WW (5DPO) and it's killing me! I want it to be time to test so bad! Especially as it seems that one of my best friends is probably pregnant. It would be so great if we were pregnant around the same time.

[Aletheia]

So exciting!

All this unprotected, baby-hopeful nookie... I sure hope it gets the ball roling towards BFP for everyone!

batgirl- What??! Oh dear! I drink *so* much green tea. Yes, we need to find out about this. I'll go over to the mothering boards (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/) and ask there.

[Aletheia]

Alrighty... I'm thinking I'm cutting the green tea completely out. Here's what I found- it came from this MSN Article (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7187847/):
Effect on folic acid
The scientists decided to look at ECGC after they realized its structure was similar to a cancer drug called methotrexate.

“We discovered that EGCG can kill cancer cells in the same way as methotrexate,” Jose Neptuno Rodriguez-Lopez, of UMU, a joint author of the research published in the journal Cancer Research.

EGCG binds strongly to DHFR, which is essential in both healthy and cancerous cells. But it does not bind as tightly as methotrexate, so its side effects on healthy cells could be less severe than those of the drug.

Thorneley said EGCG could be a lead compound for new anti-cancer drugs.

The findings could also explain why women who drink large amounts of green tea around the time they conceive and early in their pregnancy may have an increased risk of having a child with spina bifida or other neural tube disorders.

Women are advised to take supplements of folic acid because it protects against spina bifida. But large amounts of green tea could decrease the effectiveness of folic acid.

“This enzyme, (DHFR), is the one folic acid supplements are given for. Folic acid deficiency leads to neural tube development defects,” Thorneley added.

[batgirl]

OMG! Thanks for checking about this Aletheia! I had heard rumors, but hadn't seen anything difinitive. Good thing you found out now so you can kick your habit before TTC! Lots of time to get that folic acid... well, about 4 weeks anyway ;) (Is it December? I'm going on memory, which is bad!)

Man, DH invited people over for a wine night tonight. All these glorious bottles of wine... I have let myself have no more than one glass at a time since going off bcp, but am worried that that's too much. Is it bad to have a glass tonight? I doubt I'm PG even though we are off BCP, since we couldn't BD at O because of my antibiotics, but just in case... A glass won't hurt, will it?

[BethIrish]

Man, DH invited people over for a wine night tonight. All these glorious bottles of wine... I have let myself have no more than one glass at a time since going off bcp, but am worried that that's too much. Is it bad to have a glass tonight? I doubt I'm PG even though we are off BCP, since we couldn't BD at O because of my antibiotics, but just in case... A glass won't hurt, will it?

Personally, I would have a glass. I intend to drink the occasional glass of wine while TTC - it would be hard not to - DH and I drink a glass almost every day! Actually, if I still feel like drinking it once I am PG - I fully intend to have the occasional glass then, too.

What I AM going to kick when we go full-on TTC and PG is my daily diet coke habit ;) I've heard that's worse than drinking the occasional glass of wine!

Good luck to all of you ladies who are kicking off this month :D

[Aletheia]

drink up, my friend. :) the dna bundle that would become your baby isn't communicating blood with you until implantation (7-12dpo), and even then trace amounts of alcohol in your blood isn't much a big deal. i think there's a lot to be said for the "wine's fine till there's two lines" mentality.

(and yes, even occassionally afterwards-- esp. after first trimester.)

cheers!

[BethIrish]

Aletheia - I love it! "Wine's fine till there's two lines!" :D

Yes, I guess I should have specified - I will stay away from alcohol in the first trimester. Actually, most people I know say that the thought of drinking at all during their pregnancies just made them ill. But, if I do want a glass of wine during months 4-9 I will be having one :)

Right now I'm working on kicking my caffeine/diet soda habit.

[maplekitty]

About the green tea...what exactly is "large amounts"??

Like, I usually drink one cup of green tea every morning (even before TTC, I just like green tea, and it's good for you). But I hardly doubt that one cup is "large amount". Are we talking...like three pots of green tea is bad!? It seems like there is so much back and forth "research" on all this stuff that I don't know what to beleive!!

[Bubeleh]

Wow there's a lot to catch up on. First congrats to all the girls haveing ahem...unprotected BD! I still have about 10 days to start trying, and its killing me.

I'm also curious about the green tea quantity, I usually drink 1 cup in the evening. But I also get large amounts of folic acid, 100% in my multi, 100% in my am oatmeal, and I think there's a lot in spinach, which I have a big spinach salad on most days. I'll look around and post back if I hear anything.

I'm not a wine drinker, but what I am having a hard time with is the diet cokes and caffinated beverages in general.

Good luck to those actively TTCing!

[mimieliza]

Auugghhh! Convince me to wait!

We've got a little over a month to go, and I so want to just throw caution to the wind and do away with the damn condoms. I'm on CD 17, and since I have long cylces, I could be O'ing any time now. I don't chart (other than keeping track of what CD I'm on), so I won't know when I O exactly.

Anyway, I signed up for short term disability insurance at work on Sep 10. The main thing is that if I get pg and have any complications that cause me to miss work, I'll get 2/3 of my pay for up to three months. But, it also pays when you give brith - 6 weeks for vaginal delivery and 8 weeks for c-section. Here's the kicker - you have to give birth at least 10 months after the plan starts - so the earliest I could give birth is July 10 to still get the delivery benefit. So if we got pg today, for instance, our due date would be around the beginning of August. Which is fine - that's at least 10 months. But it doesn't give us much of a cushion if the baby comes a few weeks early.

Ugggh, so do we wait or not? It's a stupid rule - they really should base it on your due date rather than the day you actually deliver. It's not like I can control whether the baby is early or not.

[Bubeleh]

mimieliza I know its hard, but you really should wait one more month. You would kick yourself if you delivered on July 9th, and would not be eligible for the benefits you are paying for. Thank happy thoughts and keep the condoms close ;)

[Camdynlyn]

I'm joining. I am so glad I found this thread. We are going to start TTC #1 during my next cycle (I currently have AF). It is looking like it will be around the middle of December. We are going to NYC December 14th so I would like it to be then.

Here's my stats:

Me: Summer, 22
Him: Steffie, 25
Married: July 17, 2004
TTC: December 05

I forgot to add that my flex benefits (the extras I added on to my insurance) do not kick in until 1-1-06 so I cannot see a doctor to confirm anything until that date. Let's hope and pray.

[batgirl]

mimeliza- I think I agree with bubeleh. It would suck if you delivered on July 9th. But I know the waiting is HARD! Boy, too bad we can't just decide and go for it. There are so many factors to consider... Currently I hate my job, and would LOVE to look for a different one. But that would mean waiting 3 more mos to TTC, since most insurance companies require you be there a year...

So a couple of you posted about added insurance... I haven't looked into this. I just assumed that I have coverage... Do we need to sign up for something else, or do we automatically have it?

welcome camdynlyn!- this is a great thread with lots of knowledgable ladies!

[Aletheia]

Welcome, Summer! I know exactly how excited you are. And December is just a few short weeks away! Thanks for joining us.

mimieliza: I'm having the same sort of inclination... why wait a whole another month? That seems like ages! Good luck fortifying your will power... unfortunately I don't have any extra to send your way. :)

[maplekitty]

well...erm...I guess since DH and I couldn't wait the suggested three months of folic acid (it *is* only a reccomendation, right?! LOL) You can bump us up to November :)

[Aletheia]

done and done! don't you dare miss a PNV during any of the days of the next three months, though- so important during that first trimester!!

eegads! i said trimester!

:D

[Camdynlyn]

I've been taking PNV for 3 (probably more) months now and still have at least 1 more to go. I have also been cutting back on my caffine. I can drink caffine free Coke now with ease. It's just going to be hard cutting back all together. I don't know how people go cold turkey.

[Bubeleh]

BatGirl if you have a medical plan through work or some other source you should have some medical coverage or the pregnancy, delivery and all post appointments. I think what the girls are talking about is short-term diability to cover a portion of their salary, if the company they work for doesn't have a good amternity leave. But you may want to check into your plan to see what if any deductibles and/or out-of-pocket you are responsible for so there is no suprises when the bills start rolling in.

I just started my last official AF prior to TTC. I can't wait 10 more days are we are going for it:p

Good luck hanging on for all those waiting until December, its closer than you think.

[batgirl]

Thanks Bubeleh for the info... It just seems like there are soooo many things to plan for before. So cool this is last AF prior to TTC! Good luck!

Wow, there are a lot of us trying this month! Cool!

Did anyone read the thread in family planning entitled something like "how long did it take to concieve?" or something like that? It made me really depressed. Was it just me, or did it seem like it took them a loooong time? The chances of getting pregnant each much is so much lower than I would have thought. Who was it that said, when you've decided to have a baby, nine months is long enough to wait... how true.

[Aletheia]

batgirl- It is depressing. But then I think that those women who are more likely to be spending time on the internet seeking out threads about babies and pregnancy are those who have had more difficulty getting pregnant... so there's a good chance the population polled is a little skewed. I hope!

[cocoa_femme]

batgirl- It is depressing. But then I think that those women who are more likely to be spending time on the internet seeking out threads about babies and pregnancy are those who have had more difficulty getting pregnant... so there's a good chance the population polled is a little skewed. I hope!
I hope you're right, because that thread depressed the hell out of me as well.

[Amaye]

On the positive side, l just started trying in October and this was my second cycle and l just got a BFP today!!!

So there is definitely a good chance of it happening quickly.

[LadyD088]

Udohen - a BIG CONGRATS to you and DH!!!! A H&H 9 months to you!!!!!

Deb

[BethIrish]

Oh my gosh! I can't believe we have our first grad already :D
BIG CONGRATULATIONS TO UDOHEN!! H&H 9 MONTHS TO YOU :p :D :p :D

I hope the rest of us have the same luck when it's our turn;)

[batgirl]

That's Awesome!!!! :D

A HUGE CONGRATULATIONS to you!


So exciting. Our first graduate. Who's next? ;)

[Camdynlyn]

On the positive side, l just started trying in October and this was my second cycle and l just got a BFP today!!!

So there is definitely a good chance of it happening quickly.


CONGRATS! I hope we're that quick! Healthy thoughts!

[Aletheia]

Udohen, that is fabulous! And quite an auspicious start for our little group here. I wish you lots of deep breaths and other relaxing things as you adjust to the news. Hooray! Our first BFP!

For those of you worried about the green tea business... the crunchy mamas over at mothering.com (http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=365550) have done some reading that indicates that so long as you aren't drinking huge quantities of green tea, and so long as you aren't taking your folic acid soon after having green tea, it's probably okay.

Phew!

[Aletheia]

I don't know if folks have already seen these three sites, but if not, check them out! The first one is about baby development, and it's fun to think about what *might* be going on as early as 1 dpo!
http://www.visembryo.com/baby/
The second has some cool/scary videos.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/miracle/program.html
The third is my favorite baby name playing website.
http://babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html


Does anyone else have fun (help me procrastinate) websites?

[maplekitty]

BIG CONGRATS Udohen!!!
:D:D:D:D

[Bubeleh]

Just have a sec but wanted to give a big congrats to Udohen. Its very exciting that it happened so quickly!

[Squee]

Did anyone read the thread in family planning entitled something like "how long did it take to concieve?" or something like that? It made me really depressed. Was it just me, or did it seem like it took them a loooong time?

The things that hit me most about that thread was the amount of ppl that DID get pregnant right away but it ended in miscarriage...:(

[batgirl]

Squee- yeah, I noticed that too... I was lurking in the July 06 pregnancy thread (hoping to join!) and noticed a lot of those ladies have m/c also. Scary...

MrsTim Was today your last bcp? I thought of you when I saw the new BFP on the "seeing what happens thread." If you don't know, there have been 2 bfp's in 2 days! Its looking to be a very fertile month :D

Hey, I have some good news! My SIL is in labor right now! This is their first child. A little girl! I am going to be an aunt for the very first time! I am so excited!

[mrstim]

Batgirl - Nope, last BCP is tomorrow night! I'm SO excited, DH is getting scared! HE told me last night it was because I could be pregnant in two days. I had to sit down and explain to him the process, and how that I didn't concieve until after ovulation, etc. etc. I think he understood! :) Hopefully this will be our month!! :eek: so weird to say that!

[Amaye]

LadyD088, BethIrish, Batgirl, Camdynlyn, Aletheia, maplekitty and BubelehThanks guys!! I am both excited and scared at the same time.


Aletheia Thanks for the info on green tea! I am a big green tea drinker so l was worried that l would have to give it up!

[maplekitty]

The things that hit me most about that thread was the amount of ppl that DID get pregnant right away but it ended in miscarriage...:(

yes! I noticed that as well, and it made me kind of scared! :(

[Aletheia]

Positive thoughts, ladies, positive thoughts! No use stressing out about a vague possibility! :D

[lawgirl4]

hi! I'd love to join this thread - we are TTC #1 starting this January (possibly in December, but I don't think the timing is going to work out right due to our plans to travel).

[LadyD088]

Welcome LawGirl!!! Dec/Jan will be here before you know it!!! WOO HOO! Where are you going on vacation and when? We've decided on TTC'ing in March - due to a cruise in Feb. I don't want to have MS for the cruise!!

Deb

[Aletheia]

Welcome, lawgirl4! I'm glad you found us. How are you feeling about your decision right now? :) Are you as excited as we are? What about your DH?

I'm worried that I am so excited I'll somehow prevent myself from ovulating. :rolleyes:

[Quartercentury]

Hey heh, this thread got moved since I last visited! Our own little group. Very nifty.

I have had an outside-world break of late, after FH had an accident in China (where he's doing work for his PhD) and had to be evacuated to Hong Kong. But he's going to be fine, and it looks like we're still going to go ahead with our TTC in December plans. Which is next month! :eek:

Funny, because I spent hours and hours doing research about the safety of travel and vaccines and anti-malarials in early pregnancy (we're hoping to BD our way through South East Asia), but now there are going to be other things to worry about that have nothing to do with me, like whether the drugs FH will need to be taking will need to be refrigerated and how far he'll be "allowed" to be from emergency medical care.

[mandersald]

hi ladies-
wow, i'm so excited for all you ladies getting ready for babes! i wish you the best of luck.

i have some sad news though...
we're not going to start ttc in december like originally planned :(

right now, everything is up in the air, but i need to focus on getting myself healthy first.

i hope everyone has much luck over the next few months, and bring on those bfps! i'll probably still be reading along. good luck to all!!

[mimieliza]

Quartercentury-
Wow, very scary about your DH! I glad he's recovering well. :)

mandersald-
I'm so sorry you have to postpone TTC. DH and I have been waiting to TTC for nearly two years, so I know how frustrating it can be to think you're close and then have something get in the way. I hope you're doing okay - take care of yourself!

[Aletheia]

manders, sucky news! But this really is the kind of decision where it is good to have as many ducks in a row as possible before beginning. Feel free to chime in if you do continue to read along!

quartercentury- eegads!! :eek: your life is exciting! the TTC list we put together on the first page isn't near enough comprehensive to get all your details in. I hope your DH recovers speedily and you get all your plans made for your travels. A friend of our family's conceived her daughter in China. She jokes that she was "made in China." Which is maybe not so very nice, but is just a little funny.

Will you still be able to access the internet from time to time? We'll want to hear what it's like trying to hope for a BFP while traveling!

[batgirl]

Hey Ladies,
Hope you all had a great weekend!

Welcome Lawgirl!

Mandersald- Sorry to hear you have to wait for a bit yet. I'm sure your frustrated, but I have to agree with Aletheia... pregnancy and babies are hard work (at least I assume!). Its a good idea to have things as settled as possible, do decrease the anxiety.

quatercentury- How scary for you! I am so glad to hear DH is going to be okay. Your trip sounds very exciting! Make sure you do at least a little siteseeing (outside of the hotel room!) ;)

Not much new here. I think AF is about to show up (later today?) I'm not too disappointed. This was my first cycle off of bcp, so if she shows today as expected it'll mean my cycles won't be too wacky.

Good luck ladies!

[Harmony96]

Hi all. :)

DH and I will probably TTC at the end of January.

I am Andrea, 27
he is Timothy, almost 25
married april '04

We have been charting since August and I have loooong cycles. But both of them so far off the pill have had an ovulation so that is the good news. The bad is that the LP is short (7 days and 10 days). I am in AF right now so I'll see how this third cycle goes and then possibly start Vitex or something next cycle if they are still "weird".

Andrea

[LadyD088]

Welcome Andrea!! Hope things get a bit regular for you! Gosh Jan will be here before you know it.

I'm already freaked that its November and Feb is right around the corner! Its all so very exciting. I can't wait to get started.

Deb

[numberlady]

Hi ladies. I would like to join this thread. DH and I have talked about beginning TTC in January. I have been afraid to put it down on paper (or cyberspace) for fear that it will get jinxed. We had hoped to begin TTC around the same time last year, but it just wasn't to be.

I have been TTA with temping/charting for almost two years, so I have a pretty good idea of my cycle, so hopefully we will get a BFP early on, but you never know.

[Aletheia]

Welcome Andrea and numberlady! I've added your names to the first page. January is so close! It will be here before you know it.

I have a Question of the Day for you all:

How many months are you prepared to try with no success before deciding there is a problem?
At that point, what will you do?



As for myself, I think we'll try for a year before beginning the adoption process. We've talked about it and we'll probably not go down the medical intervention route. I'm very happy that Discovery Health Channel has a show about adoption stories- it has helped me get excited about this possibility!

[BethIrish]

Yay! A question of the day :)

1. Six months
2. Start charting. I was going to start charting prior to TTC, but I've decided it would stress me out too much. After I started charting, I would probably give it six months before heading to the doctor. I would probably do mild medical intervention (testing to figure out the problem, clomid etc) but I don't know that I'd go down the path of IVF etc. We'd adopt.

[Quartercentury]

I have a Question of the Day for you all:
1. How many months are you prepared to try with no success before deciding there is a problem?
2. At that point, what will you do?
1. Six cycles. I know I have regular (ish) cycles and TCOYF says to start looking for help if you haven't conceived in six months.

2. Depends on what's available and what the problem might be. I know that I have a borderline short LP, so I could end up on progesterone supplements, for example. Or clomid, say, if I weren't ovulating. But reproductive medicine in the UK is difficult to access (nationalized health care = waiting lists), so anything other than standard OTC drugs might be hard to start. If I ended up on a waiting list, I'd seek out the help of a homeopath or accupuncturist. I'd actually probably do that as soon as I realized/suspected there was a problem and follow a more natural course of treatment in addition to the conventional one.

[LadyD088]

[QUOTE=Aletheia]

How many months are you prepared to try with no success before deciding there is a problem?
At that point, what will you do?
[/LIST]
[QUOTE]

For me, probably a year before we start seeking any medical assistance. And like Beth, it will only be mild assistance. I couldn't handle getting shots everyday, etc... We would adopt.

Deb

[BethIrish]

Okay, I know I'm a dork, but for some reason this just gave me a little thrill - I knew you ladies would be the only ones who could possibly understand ;)

DH just emailed me to find out if he should up his contribution to his (medical) flexible spending account "...considering that we will hopefully be expecting at some point next year..."

That sentence just sent a shiver of excitement through me :D

[BethIrish]

So, to follow up on my above post...

Is anyone upping their contribution to their flexible spending accounts in anticipation of TTC/being PG?

We used the entire amount in our account this year ($500) so we're upping it to $1,000. We can use this for copays for doctors visits and prescriptions, as well as to buy OTC drugs (cold medicine, vitamins etc.) I sort of figured if we don't use it all, we can always stock up on OTC medicines etc. at the end of next year.

[LadyD088]

Beth - Gosh such a good question. I never even thougth out it. I have my Flex account we could do this with. We don't really have doctors expenses now so I haven't used it. I am interested in hearing other's thoughts. I might start with the $500 - just not sure - if we don't get PG, I will loose that money (no way I could spend $500 in OTC medicines!! LOL)

Oh and Beth, how cute of your DH!!! That would make me shiver as well.

Deb

[cocoa_femme]

1. Six months (just seeing what happens).
2. Start charting and temping. After one year, We'd go see a specialist.

[BethIrish]

We don't really have doctors expenses now so I haven't used it. I am interested in hearing other's thoughts. I might start with the $500 - just not sure - if we don't get PG, I will loose that money (no way I could spend $500 in OTC medicines!! LOL)

Honestly, I never thought we'd even use the $500 we started out with. The only reason we started it was because if DH contributed $400, they company would put in $100. Actually, this past year, if we'd had the $1,000 in there, we would have used it! I had some dental work done that was about $600. Also, for next year, if it gets to the end of the year and I'm not PG and we haven't used it all - DH can get a new pair of glasses :) (He has a complicated prescription - usually costs around $300-$400 for a new pair!)

[Quartercentury]

So, to follow up on my above post...
Is anyone upping their contribution to their flexible spending accounts in anticipation of TTC/being PG?

Considering that I've never heard of one before, I don't think I will be contributing to any flexible spending accounts any time soon. ;)

What are they for? If you're putting in $500, why is that better than $500 in a regular savings account?

I'm blissfully ignorant, as all of my health care as long as we continue to live in the UK is free. No co-pays or lab fees or extortionary prescription charges. Of course I do fork over 20% of my paycheck in taxes every month, but given health insurance costs in the US, I think it's probably worth it!

[BethIrish]

Quartercentury

In the US, many companies give their employees an option to take money out of their paycheck, pre-tax, to put toward qualified medical expenses, childcare, commuting costs etc. So, essentially, you don't have to pay income tax on the money you set aside.

The catch is - you have to use all of the money you set aside for the year, otherwise you lose it.

[Aletheia]

Beth.... would you object to me calling you Panties? :D Your quote makes me laugh every time I see it, so the connotations are all joyful and not at all derogatory...

Since I would have responded to your DH the same way, I have another shiver/tingle moment to share. This weekend we had a chicken wishbone to break. I made a big deal, playfully, about examining its structure so as to pick the stronger half-- because, I said, "my wish is really important this time." DH just feigned ignorance until we broke the wishbone (I won!) at which point he whispered in my ear: "you needn't have worried... i wished for the same thing as you."

Now if that isn't sweetness to the point of Hallmark card status, tell me what is! :p

[LadyD088]

Aletheia - This may be AF talking here but you have me in tears!! That is just SO sweet of your DH!!! May your wish come true...QUICKLY!

Deb

[Bubeleh]

My doc said to try for 6 months, if no BFP then come in and see her for tests. We are not going to take any drastic measures, so I'm not sure if we will folow her plan. If it doesn't happen in a year, we may give up. If its meant to be it will happen.

I would highly recommend upping your contribution. You can always find ways to use it. If you do not get preggo during the year I would assume that you would be going through testing to find out why, so either way you will have added medical expenses in the coming year.

[numberlady]

QOTD 1:
1. I think after 6 months of no BFP I would begin to think that there could be a problem. Because I have been charting for so long, I know that I have a regular cycle, with no obvious problems.
2. I have known so many couples that have had problems getting/staying pregnant; I honestly don't know what I would do. Some part of me feels like I want to get pregnant the natural way (i.e. no hormones, IVF, etc) and that if we can't that maybe we won't have children. But the other part of me knows that once we really start trying and really get into the idea of being parents that I will not feel the same. I just hope that I don't have to find out!

QOTD 2:
I will not increase my flex contribution with the chance that I might get pg this year. If we do get pg the first time, then at the most I will be pg for only a few months in 2006, which with my HMO insurance will not end up costing me that much additional money. But certainly I would make a change for 2007. I just don't think that I would use the additional money for much else. I already have a cushion for the OTC stuff in my contribution.

Athenia, so sweet of your DH!

[batgirl]

Aletheia- thanks for sharing your story. It brought tears to my eyes, also.

Well, I'm sorry ladies, but I need to vent a little bit. I'm not going to answer the QOTDs right now because I don't know if we are TTC any longer...

AF showed two days ago. Honestly, I wasn't that disappointed since I had been on antibiotics early last month and doc said I should probably hold off. And now I know my cycles went right back to what they were pre-bcp.

The reason I AM upset is because I told DH that AF arrived. This is the guy who had been urging me to go off bcp for over a year, that he was ready to be a father, told me I'd make a great mother, that he doesn't want to be considered "older parents" so didn't want to wait any longer. Because of his encouragement and support I finally decided to go off bc and begin TTC...

So, what was his response when I told him about AF? "Good."
GOOD? GOOD! WTF does good mean? How dare he pull this crap with me. I have been on a roller coaster trying to determine if I was ready or not. Now that I am he pulls this! I am a combination of pissed, sad, dissapointed, and oh yeah, pissed. Do I try to convince him? Just do it anyway? (since now he's saying "whatever you want dear..." :mad: Boy, I'd better sign off or the profanity is gonna start flying...

Has anyone else's DH gotten scared about the path to fatherhood?

ETA: And when I mentioned to him that he should have told me of his recent concerns BEFORE I went off bcp (and he knew I was going off, since the first morning off, I said, ok, I am NOT opening a new pack this morning, plus my countdown of "only 3 pills left, only 2, last pill...") His response was "you can always go back on, right?" NO! I can't just go back on! I have been on hormonal contraception for 12 f*cking years, I'm not going off one month just to go back on the next! :mad:

Am I being unreasonable?

[batgirl]

Boy, you guys are going to hate me for taking over this thread! I am so sorry.
But maybe this is common for people thinking about or actively trying for the first time. Is it? I mean it is a HUGE step with lots of emotion (and I have lots of emotion right now with my period! God, hopefully this is just hormones...)

Anyway, I just checked my e-mail. I am taking the car in for an oil change after work cause DH doesn't have time to do it. He sent me an e-mail thanking me for taking the car in and since the oil change place is next to the mall he told me to go shopping afterwards and get a new pair of fuzzy pajamas...

Now I'm crying at work. He is so sweet and I am dissing him and his feelings on this thread. I don't mean to. I'm just upset.

Is anyone else stressing about TTC? Or is eveyone just ecstatic about it? Man, if this is PMS, I had better get pregnant or else someone better put me out of my misery :D

Thanks ladies. I actually do feel a bit better...

[BethIrish]

Aw, Batgirl This TTC thing is scary - I think even moreso for our DHs than for us. At least in our house, DH had to wait until I was completely ready - I mean, I'm carrying the baby - he's not. While his life is going to change completely 9 months after I get knocked up, mine has already changed. I'm the one watching what I eat, exercising, taking vitamins, worrying about my caffeine intake, worrying about when I should stop drinking alcohol...the list goes on!!! To him, this baby won't be a real reality until I start tossing my cookies or I have a big old bump!! I dunno, just my thoughts ;) I'm glad you are feeling better about it today, though!!

Alethiea Panties it is, girlfriend!!!! :D

[LadyD088]

Batgirl - I haven't really been stressed about it at alll but considering I'm PMS'ing now too, it seems to have hit. I was laying in bed last night and my heart started rushing with all these thoughts. I thought I was going to have a heartache. I can't even describe the feeling I was having...it was like a rush of all these thoughts, things I need to do, etc...

I guess reading the "Birthing Story" thread didn't help my thoughts last night. LOL

Deb

[Aletheia]

batgirl oh goodness, where to start. first, with humor: Is anyone else stressing about TTC? Or is eveyone just ecstatic about it? Man, if this is PMS, I had better get pregnant or else someone better put me out of my misery It's a good thing you are still smiling. But secondly, the not so humorous.

I felt a need to start this thread because at least for me so far, the decision and desire to start baby plans has been really, really traumatic. I know this seems slight to those who have been trying for a long time, but just getting both parents to the place where they are ready to be parents is NO SMALL THING. It's FREAKIN' HUGE!!!

If you go to post #169 in my journal you will see an event described which I now refer to as The Cataclysm. I had hoped for an oops, didn't get one, and proceeded to SCREAM at DH. In that post I focus more on how wonderful DH was after I finished screaming at him (and showing him the thermometer I had run over with the car, as 'evidence' of my state of mind). But what I don't say is that the reason I felt that the screaming at him was a good idea was because 6 months previous to The Cataclysm I had tried to begin the conversation about TTC, and it had failed, time and time again, miserably. So, during the Cataclysm, in my mind it was his fault that I had to hope for oopses and not for planned babies.

The conversations about TTC were bad ones. DH would hear none of it. Or, what's worse: he'd humor me for a while, and then get exasperated, angry, or simply non-responsive. One month after the first attempt at a conversation, it was somehow taboo between us because it had led to so many fights.

I persevered, though, because my DH is ultra rational and he seemed not just unwilling, but unable to give me a good reason why we couldn't talk about baby having. I sensed he was afraid, and I think (he never admitted to it) that I was right.

A month before the Cataclysm, though, I stopped bringing it up. I had to will myself to stop bringing it up. It pained me. I didn't know what to do. But I realized that as much as I wanted to be a mom, I didn't want to have this decision be a concession for DH. The only gratifying way to be a mom, for me, was for DH to want to also be a dad. Not just to give in. So I shut up. And man, was it hard. And, in the end, it led to the worst abuse of my DH I've ever given. I screamed and screamed, blamed and blamed, and dribbled so much snot and tears all over that we still regret they weren't valuable natural resources. College Fund starting tears and snot, I tell you.


After the Cataclysm, I felt better. He agreed that we needed to talk about it together, and with that admission came a sudden drop in my desire to need to talk about it. When I did bring it up next, he said he'd been waiting for me to bring it up because he was ready. The bastard. (I called him that at the time, laughingly.) I wish he could have been the one to bring it up! In any case, he said that he came around while he was doing a rotation working with geriatric patients and realized he'd like to have all his faculties in working order when and if there are any grandchildren in our future. It was sort of a wake up call. That's what he says, anyhow-- I think it had something to do with me being persistent, and yes, in the end screaming at him.

Not that I'm advocating screaming in every case. But for us there was some serious disconnect between us that prevented us from having a true conversation-- the kind that really should happen before a new person is brought into the world. If you aren't united by an equal desire to have the baby, how will you ever justify having him help with caring for the baby without feeling like you are making him do something against his will?

Don't sell out your emotions to PMS, especially not to him-- don't say, "sorry, I guess I'm just PMS'y.". Know that your emotions may be exaggerated right now, but that you might need that exaggeration to overcome the forces (societal, interpersonal, practical) that would keep you from letting DH know where things stand for you right now. I don't think it is a joke of nature that we get PMS at the same time we discover we aren't pregnant- I think it might be a gift. A strengthening of the emotions that undoubtedly come into play when thinking about this huge, life-changing, life-creating decisions. These emotions are really important-- are the heart of the matter-- in considering parenthood.

Ha. So now who's "taking over this thread"? :D Can you say, "soapbox"?

But I just want to let you know that I hear where you are coming from, that I've been there before, and that I have a lot of faith that you will use this as an opportunity and not as a hang-up in the TTC process!

Oh, and Panties: ;)

[batgirl]

Thanks ladies! And thanks for sharing your story, Aletheia

I guess its good to get a reality check every now and again. This IS a huge decision in our lives.

I'm going to have a talk with DH tonight to see if he wants to proceed. I think I know why he said "good." I just needed to calm down and think about it. And if he really wants to wait, I'll respect that. Better he say that now that after I got pregnant!

I do know why he is worried. He is currently a post-doc, trying to find a job as a university professor. We will probably be moving again next fall, but because of the way academics is, we have no idea what state we'll be moving to or exactly when we will go. It was the main reason we had decided to wait in the first place, but then having a baby close to our parents won out. We'll have to see.

Thanks for listening, ladies (as if you had a choice!)

And Aletheia please don't take me off of the TTC list (yet?). Thanks.

[LadyD088]

Aletheia - Gosh it was like reading my own testimonial (well, without the running over the thermometor with the car and all the screaming). I too was extremely let down my DH when he said we could TTC earlier this year then just said NO (due to changes in our lives but still there was never a talk about it...it was just NO) I was devastated...cried myself to sleep when he wasn't home, was very depressed - ugh, bad times, bad times.

Then one day, out of the blue, he said he was ready (yes, HE did the talking). I cried. I just couldn't believe it. I had to check with him on and off, asking...are you sure? And each time, he would reply with YES, I am sure!!

Its such an amazing feeling to know that you are BOTH ready. Sometimes it just takes them a moment to feel something...or not feel something and that't it...they (we, your) are on board. Its crazy how life works sometimes.

Good Luck Batgirl. Be open and honest...that's all you can do...oh and listen too.

Deb

[maplekitty]

Oh of course!!!
I totally get stressed about the idea of TTC!
I lay away in bed at night thinking about all the things I had wanted to accomplish and probably won't if we start a family. I really wanted to travel more, and go overseas to Europe and do all those things. Curt's already done that so he's not in that frame of mind. Sure we can take the kids one day, but it's not the same of exploring as a single person.

I keep tlaking to Curt about our "freedom". We're going to loose our "freedom" with a kid(s). No more lazy sundays in bed, no more eating out multiple nights a week, no more frivulous spending on things we "want" - not "need". It's a huge, huge step.

However, recently I met a couple with two kids, who seemed to share a lot of the same child rearing ideal that Curt and I hold. The dad said to me "having kids is not the end of your free life, it's the start of a better life". And that really put it into focus for me. Perhaps everything that we do now that we love, will just be *that much* better when we have kids, so there's no worry.

[Bubeleh]

Batgirl, I'm sorry sorry you had a rough day. I think a lot of times (coming from personal experiences) DH's don't understand how sensitive this topic is and how unthoughtful responses can throw us into an emotional tail spin.

I am totally stressed about TTC, but the excitement outweighs it. I stress that I won't be patient, or motherly enough, or I will get bored being at home, are we financially secure enough..the list goes on. From what I have gathered from the boards these are natural, and the outside forces of your life will never be perfectly alligned to TTC, but as long as you and DH are ready and capable then its all good ;)

Hopefully you and DH can have some good heart to hearts over the weekend and get ready to try again this cycle if that's what's best for the both of you.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[lawgirl4]

hi all!
I completely forgot to officially "subscribe" to this thread, so I haven't posted since my first post... :rolleyes: sorry about that!

well... we are finally less than 2 months away from our TTC date! I was hoping we might be able to start trying while in India this December (we're going there for a 2.5 week trip) but I don't think my cycle is going to be at the right point; plus we will probably be taking anti-malarials, and one does not want to get PG while on that medication!

Thus, we will probably be starting in January. So exciting! I can't believe it's this close. :D

[LadyD088]

WOO HOO Lawgirl!! WB!! Yeah, Jan will be here so soon!! Exciting times. Have a WONDERFUL time in India - how exciting.

Deb

[Aletheia]

I don't remember ever being this happy to start my period... it means the only thing we're waiting on to start TTC is my body! Eegads! I'm so excited!

How is everyone else doing?

Here's a new QOTD:
When will you test for the first time? How many days before or after AF's anticipated arrival, and why?

If all goes as planned, the day after AF's expected arrival this cycle will be Christmas eve or Christmas morning. In theory, I'd like to wait until 2 days after her expected arrival (I don't want to see unnecessary BFN's or BFP's of pregnancies that fail before they've really begun), but since it will be the holidays and we'll be at my mom's, I think when we test will have to be sort of flexible... we've agreed not to tell anybody about a BFP, so we'll want some time after testing to process the results and put on our game faces (regardless of which way it goes.)

So it's my question, but I'm not quite sure of my answer yet!

[maplekitty]

I think I'm the same. Right now I think I'm 12DPO so, I'd rather just wait to see if AF doesn't come and then test - I don't want to get my hopes up unless I actually have a possibility.

[Harmony96]

When will you test for the first time? How many days before or after AF's anticipated arrival, and why?

I WANT to try hard and wait until about 15 or 16 DPO, just to increase my chances of getting a positive result if in fact we are pregnant. But I don't know what I'll do in reality. Right now if I look forward to something on a particular day, often times that day passes and I forget about the thing I was looking forward to, so I think I might be able to stick with the waiting until after 14 DPO to test.

But all this is moot since I've had 2 cycles off the pill with 7 and 10 day luteal phases. :P Right now I'm hoping for a longer LP this time.

Andrea

[lawgirl4]

When will you test for the first time? How many days before or after AF's anticipated arrival, and why?

I know myself... On the first TTC cycle I will probably start testing too early! I am so impatient. I'm guessing I will start testing around 7-8 dpo, with the knowledge that it would be highly unlikely that I'd have a positive. And then I'd probably try to stick it out until 10 dpo.

[Quartercentury]

I was hoping we might be able to start trying while in India this December (we're going there for a 2.5 week trip) but I don't think my cycle is going to be at the right point; plus we will probably be taking anti-malarials, and one does not want to get PG while on that medication!

What anti-malarial will you be on? I've done tons of research on the safety of anti-malarials in pregnancy, because we're going to TTC while travelling in SE Asia. Let me know if you'd like to see any of it.

Here's a new QOTD:
When will you test for the first time? How many days before or after AF's anticipated arrival, and why?

My LP is usually just 11 or 12 days. So I'll probably test at 10 DPO. Just because I should in theory get a reliable result by then.

[lawgirl4]

quartercentury - I would love to hear about your anti-malarial research. I am most likely going to take Malarone - not thrilled that I have to take it daily, but glad I only have to take it for 1 week after the trip. In the limited research I've done it seems like the safest/least side-effect inducing option... so I'd be curious to see what you've found. feel free to PM me!

[Quartercentury]

lawgirl4, I'm going to take Malarone, too. I'll put together a PM for you this afternoon. Lots of info, a lot of it conflicting, but I don't believe it's as dangerous as "they" want you to think it is.

[lawgirl4]

quartercentury - thanks! I was reading up on Malarone myself, and found alot of conflicting info. At first, I had heard that you shouldn't TTC until 6 months beyond being in a malarial zone, in case of a delayed onset of the disease. Then I read that one should wait 2 months before TTC, then 1 month, then 1 week. I will probably ovulate at the end of our 2nd week back, so that's a little bit close to the "wait 1 week" determination. :rolleyes: nothing is ever straightforward!

I have been to india twice and never took anti-malarials (first trip was for 4 months, second was for 2) - but I wasn't in a particularly tropical area. This time, we'll be in Goa for 3 days... however, we did buy this awesome mosquito net:

http://www.countrytrails.co.uk/acatalog/mosinets_dbl_lrg.jpg

and part of me just wants to risk it and not take the Malarone at all. I will probably just wait and see how I feel.

[cocoa_femme]

QOTD: I'll probably wait a day or two after AF is supposed to arrive to test (let's just hope I can make it that long :D). I know myself, and if I test a few days before, I'll keep doing it and get stressed-out about it.

[LadyD088]

When will you test for the first time? How many days before or after AF's anticipated arrival, and why?
Similar to Cocoa...I think I will wait until AF "should" have been here. Just easier that way. I just hope I make it that long.

Things here are going just fine. Looks like we will be waiting until March or April now. Seeing as Dec is DH's busiest time of the year...we might want to avoid having him "RUN" out of the store to have a baby!! LOL

Deb

[BethIrish]

QOTD I'll definitely try to wait until AF is late :) I'm not making any promises, though ;)

T-2 AFs to go until TTC :D :D

[Bubeleh]

Wow the thread has been moving. First an update we are officially actively trying! EWCM has arrived and we are making good use of it ;) . Its really strange the first time we dtd w/o any barrier I felt a twinge of guilt like the other girls then pure exhilleration. And now I am super tuned into my body. Every twinge I wonder could it have worked! Its a outer body experience.

QOTD: My post BCP cycles have been 28 - 24 - 26. So I think we will wait until 30 days and if nothing happens or there are no pre-AF symptoms I'll whip out the test we have and cross my fingers!

[maplekitty]

Well ladies, my first ttc cycle didn't pan out :(
AF isn't scheduled to arrive until thursday (that's BCP cycle), however I'm having bright red spotting today and so I'm thinking its definitely AF and my cycle has been pushed up.

Ah well...onto next month ;)

[numberlady]

QOTD: I think I will try to wait until I expect AF, which according to my charting is about 12 dpo. Depending on how busy I am in other parts of my life at the time will probably dictate how much I obsess over this.

Bubeleh (love that name, my FIL called me that), congrats to EWCM, hope all goes as planned.

maplekitty good luck next month.

[Bubeleh]

Maplekitty - Sorry things didn't work out the first time. Good luck with your next cycle!

numberlady - Thanks! My DH calls me that so I thought it was a good choice :) .

[Aletheia]

Bubeleh- Congratulations on the beginning of baby making and EWCM! You must be so excited!

maplekitty-How are you doing? Are you handling the disappointment well? Is it easy to just be happy that you are trying, or were you really crestfallen with AF's arrival? I'm worried how I'll do when the first month isn't an automatic success.

[cocoa_femme]

Okay, I have a question for you guys. I'm on CD30 and no signs of AF have shown up yet. Since this is my first month off of BCPs, I'm not sure how long my cycle will be. When should I test?

TIA!

[BethIrish]

My first month off I still got AF around the same time that I did prior to going on them. But many women take a while to get adjusted!

Do you have reason to suspect that you are PG?? (Like, did ya pull the goalie?!? ;) ) Honestly, knowing myself, I'd test now. You could do that, and if she still doesn't show in a week I'd test again. I'd contact my Dr. if it were any longer than that.

[cocoa_femme]

No reason, other than AF not showing up. But, when I went off BCPs several months ago (money issues made it not a good time to TTC), she still showed up at the right time.

I think I'll take your advice and test tomorrow.

Thanks!

[cocoa_femme]

(Like, did ya pull the goalie?!? ;) )
Okay, I'm a big nerd. What does this mean :o?

[lawgirl4]

cocoa_femme, are you actively TTC? Do you even know if you have ovulated yet? Are you charting? From reading the "Charting to Avoid Thread" for many months, it's very apparent to me that post-BCP cycles are very different and unpredictable for many women. Some women have 28-30 day cycles right away; others have long, long cycles (not ovulating until a few months have passed!). Unless you are charting there is no way of knowing where you are in your cycle. I suggest you read up a bit on how the fertility cycle works ("Taking Charge of Your Fertility" is an excellent book on the subject) so that you'll have a better idea of what is going on inside your body.

You should also check out the Charting to Avoid thread (lots of useful info in the first couple of pages) -
http://www.constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=10925

and the TTC w/Charting thread:

http://www.constantchatter.com/showthread.php?t=10146

good luck!

[cocoa_femme]

Thanks for all the info, lawgirl4 :)! We weren't planning on TTC until next month. I went off the pill in November (per my doctor's suggestion) and there's just a slim chance I could be pg. I'm not a big fan on charting and DH and I just kinda want to "see what happens," for a few months. After that, I may start charting anyway. If it means anything, before I went on BCPs I was pretty regular (28/29 day cycles).

[Aletheia]

cocoafemme- lawgirl gave you the same sort of info I would give you. You really have no way of knowing where you're at after going off the pill!

If I were you, though, I couldn't just wait around indefinitely for my body to tell me what's going on. I would go to the Dollar Store and get a bunch of the $1 HPTS (I think they work fine) and just take them... I don't know... weekly? until AF shows up. Yeah, you'll probably see a bunch of BFNs. But if you don't want to start charting yet (and I can support that decision) but don't want to feel completely in the dark as to what your body may be up to, measuring out the weeks by taking a test here and there might give you some sense of control.

Who knows, too? The first cycle off BCP is for some women really fertile and they get PG right away. It's more likely that you'll have long and erratic cycles for a bit, though.

Good luck! Keep us posted!

[cocoa_femme]

Thanks for the Dollar Store tip, Aletheia! I'll probably stop by today.

[Aletheia]

No problem! Happy testing. Just prepare for a BFN. Think, "this is going to be negative- I'm just checking to make sure." ;)

I think it is the Dollar Tree stores that carry them- maybe others do, but that's where I've seen them before.

I'll be dropping by myself to buy a "Christmas Present" HPT! Let's hope it yields a happy answer.

[cocoa_femme]

I totally hear you on preparing for a BFN. I don't really think I'm pg, but just want to know for sure.

[lawgirl4]

cocoa femme, I can definitely understand just waiting to see what happens, but I really would suggest charting at least for a cycle or 2, just so you'll have an idea of what your body is doing. Plus, it might help you not go crazy each month wondering if you are PG or not!

I also had totally regular - like clockwork - 28 day cycles pre-bcp, but now I've learned that I tend to ovulate at about 2.5 - 3 weeks into my cycle, with a 10-13 day luteal phase (that's the post ovulatory phase). It also took about 2 cycles before my body settled on this now-normal cycle length (my first post-bcp cycle was over 80 days, the second was around 50).

I was on the pill for 8-10 yrs (can't totally remember when I started) and had been on it with no breaks whatsoever. My theory is that the longer you've been on BCP w/o breaks, the more likely one has longer cycles right after going off BCP, but again, I've really learned that every person's body is completely different and there's no rule of thumb!

[cocoa_femme]

After reading some of the threads lawgirl posted, and reading your (and Aletheia's) posts...I'm seriously thinking of starting to chart next month. I'll just have to wait until AF comes, to get started.

Thank you so much, ladies! You guys are so supportive and super-nice to help me out.

[BethIrish]

cocoa

pull the goalie = sex w/no condom ;)

[Aletheia]

Pantiesyou are too funny. Did you make that up or did you just recognize that it needed to be used in conversation? :D

[BethIrish]

ALOL, I honestly don't remember where I heard it. I think it's a hilarious saying, so when the opportunity arrives to use it - I just have to!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!! My fingers are crossed that by this time next year all of us will have babies in our bellies or in our arms :D

[cocoa_femme]

pull the goalie = sex w/no condom ;)
LOL! That is too funny :D!

[cocoa_femme]

As is the fact that Aletheia is calling you "panties." :)

[BethIrish]

As is the fact that Aletheia is calling you "panties." :)

LOL, I guess if the shoe (or Panties) fit.... :D ;)

[JayJay]

Hello ladies....I'd like to join this thread. DH and I are already TTC #1, but this seem like a good place to hang out and get good support.

Me: Jessica, 23
DH: Travis, 29
Married: September 10th, 2005
TTC Since: October 2005


I'm a member of a couple other Family planning threads, and seem to get support everywhere I go.....can't hurt to join another one! See ya around!

[maplekitty]

So ladies, I'm officially moving over to the TTC SWH group.

You've all been amazing and very helpful the past few months as I prepared myself for the journey of TTC.

Hope to see some of you over there soon :)

[Aletheia]

maplekitty- Two things:
1) I hope you will come back to tell us when you get your BFP
and
2) I hope that will be really soon! Good luck!

Mrs.Jackson/Jessica- A warm welcome! I hope you'll be telling us about your BFP soon.

[Quartercentury]

Me, too!!! I am sort-of-officially TTC now... No sex until reunification with FH on the 9th of December, but the TTC cycle has begun! Not great to have AF for holidays (I had AF last year for Thanksgiving *and* Christmas! Ugh!), but hopefully this will be the last holiday appearance for a long time!

[LynzeyAHL]

So are any of you going through the AGONY of finding an OB/GYN right now? its seriously stressing me out!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

[Aletheia]

Lynzey-
I don't have a lot of choices (small town, small plan) and I knew I wanted a midwife that works in conjunction with an OB, so that made my choice really narrow! So no, I'm not having to suffer through that decision. It must be rough, though- what do you do? Go interview them all or something?

Once we move I'll have to find a new person, and since we'll be in a big city by then I'll need all the tips I can get. Especially since I hope to be several months pregnant by then. ;)

[LynzeyAHL]

well I sorta gotta hurry though this b/c I have an IUD and all the BD in the world ain't gonna make a baby with that in there, so this appt is very necessary and SOON!

I'll keep everyone posted!

[Camdynlyn]

I am waiting on AF to show so we can begin our cycle of TTC!! :) I should be getting AF around the first of the month! Wish me luck!

[cocoa_femme]

Hi, Ladies. Just wanted to give an update on my AF issue. I tested on Friday, and got a BFP! But, then I tested four more times, and got a BFN each time. So I guess the BFP was a fluke. Still no AF, though (almost a week late). I plan on calling my doc today.

[BethIrish]

Cocoa I think it's really unusual to get a false BFP...you should definitely go in to your doc for a blood test!!!!

[cocoa_femme]

Cocoa I think it's really unusual to get a false BFP...you should definitely go in to your doc for a blood test!!!!
Do you know how common is it to get false BFNs? I took both digital and regular tests. Thanks!

[BethIrish]

Do you know how common is it to get false BFNs? I took both digital and regular tests. Thanks!


I don't. Were the BFP and the BFNs from different brands of tests? They all measure different concentrations of horomones in your urine. The BFP could have been from a more sensitive test. Or, your urine could have been more concentrated for that test....

Did the BFP show up in the allotted time? If not, it could have been an evaporation line.

Either way, I'd call your doctor. A blood test will tell you for sure!

[cocoa_femme]

The BFP showed up on a digital test. I took another digital several hours later, and I got a BFN. I then took two more digitals and got BFNs. Just to be sure it wasn't just an issue with the digital...I took a regular test as well.

I just called my doctor, I have an appointment today at 2:30.

[BethIrish]

The BFP showed up on a digital test. I took another digital several hours later, and I got a BFN. I then took two more digitals and got BFNs. Just to be sure it wasn't just an issue with the digital...I took a regular test as well.

I just called my doctor, I have an appointment today at 2:30.

I *think* that the digital tests are pretty accurate! I'm going to guess that your urine wasn't as concentrated in the subsequent tests and that your really are PG!!! Fingers crossed for you - good luck!!!

[cocoa_femme]

Thx!

[Aletheia]

cocoa- wow! just a word of caution before we do a BFP dance for you-- while false bfp's are rare, it is, I think, rather common to have a really early chemical pregnancy, where trace levels of HCG are generated but they soon dissipate once the pregnancy doesn't seem viable.

I hate to be a party pooper, and I don't know that this is what's going on with you, but the four negative tests mean we should be very cautiously optimistic!

So I'm going to cross all my crossables for your 2:30 appointment! :D

[cocoa_femme]

Thanks, Aletheia (you big ole party pooper :D). I'm totally going into this appointment, under the assumption that I am not pregnant. If it turns out I am, then that'll be a huge surprise. My main concern is..."where the heck is AF?" I need her to hurry up and come, so we can actively start TTC in December.

[batgirl]

I have an appointment today at 2:30.

Just wanted to pop in and say good luck!

[Aletheia]

cocoa? What's the word? I might be a big ol' party pooper but I'm still excited for you... :)

[BethIrish]

Glad I'm not the only one obsessively checking on Cocoa, A. ;)

Cocoa Hope everything is okay!!!

[mandersald]

hi ladies-
cocoa i hope that all is well with you! keep us updated!

so, i just wanted to pop in and say that i'm still here a-lurkin...dh and i are waiting until i get a clean bill of health and the ok from my docs before ttc. while nothing serious is going on, i just want to make sure i'm uber healthy before a baby comes along, ya know? but, nevertheless, i've already picked out crib bedding that i want. sigh... so, who knows, it might be jan or feb for us. keep your fingers crossed!

and, good luck to all. can't wait to see more bfps around here!

[Bubeleh]

Cocoa - Come back and tell us what happened! I'm biting my fingernails here...

Good luck to all of you who are starting to BD.

I'm in the 2ww, super boring part. So far I feel nothing different so I don't think we succeded, but who knows. I'll keep you posted.

[Camdynlyn]

I'm officially TTC!! I got AF last night!

[cocoa_femme]

Sorry, for the hold-up guys. I didn't get online last night because DH and I were to busy celebrating... :D

http://images.snapfish.com/34564%3A4%3B23232%7Ffp336%3Enu%3D3246%3E542%3E6%3B %3A%3EWSNRCG%3D3233354%3B%3A5754nu0mrj

[cocoa_femme]

I just want to thank everyone, for all your well-wishes and advice. I took both a urine test and a blood test at the doctor yesterday. As you can see, the urine test was positive :). I should get the results of the blood test today at 11 a.m.

[BethIrish]

Cocoa

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

[mrstim]

Cocoa - Congrats!! Guess you can change your siggie now!! :D

[cocoa_femme]

Thanks, ladies! I'm off to change my siggy now :D.

[batgirl]

Congratulations Cocoa!!!

[cocoa_femme]

Thanks, batgirl!

[Camdynlyn]

Congrats!!

[Aletheia]

OH MY GOODNESS OH MY GOODNESS! COCOA I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! WOOOHOOOO!!

Now, don't you go drifting away from this thread-- check in from time to time to let us revel in your good luck-- it may rub off on the rest of us! (Praying and hoping!!!)

Wow!


Summer, congrats on getting AF! I hope you don't see her again for at least 10 more months. ;)

[roberta]

Congrats Coca! Have you started a August 2006 Mommies thread yet? I am guessing you be one of the first since your EDD is August 1st. good luck!

Welcome Camdynlyn and congrats on starting TTC!

I am in the super boring 2 WW. Nothing to report yet. We managed some covert BDing over the holiday weekend. Not as much as I would have liked for an O weekend but it is hard to do with a house full of people. Good luck and babies wishes to everyone who is testing right now.

[cocoa_femme]

Thanks to Camdynlyn, Aletheia and roberta!

Of course I'm not going to totally drift away from this thread. You guys have been so informative and supportative. I plan on keeping you guys updated on my progress

I haven't started a August 2006 Mommies yet. I have a doctors appointment on Dec. 13th. After that, maybe.

[Aletheia]

roberta- did you change your screen name? i don't think i have you listed on the first page and I feel like I should... so when are you TTC? Now?

I went and had full mouth dental xrays done today- it's been a long time since I had had them done, and DH reminded me to put them on the pre-TTC list since the radiation is not good for baby beans.

So, check one more thing off my list!

Next, I went to the dollar store and bought six OPK's which I have never used before. I don't start using them until Monday of next week at which point...

right now I'm slated to O next Thursday which is just TERRIBLE timing since I live away from DH from Monday evening through Thursday evening. I'm hoping that the OPK's will help tell me if it is worth driving 4 hours one way for a little BD on Tuesday night and Wednesday morning...

Am I really considering this? Yes. Will I be crushed when I don't get PG this cycle? Yes. But so it goes. I figure I'm bound to suffer crushing disappointment if I get a BFN no matter how much I've kept my pre-testing obsession in check, so why limit the obsession? It's fun to drive yourself crazy. Besides, at least some of you will still come back here to comfort poor Aletheia after you all get your BFP's and move on without me. ;)

[roberta]

Altheia you caught me! Oops! I thought I was posting in the TTC Seeing What Happens thread. I guess that is what I get for lurking! I hadn't "officially" joined this thread since I wasn't waiting a couple months to TTC. We had already started TTC in October. But I'd love to join and cheer everyone along as they prepare their bodies, minds, hearts and DHs to TTC. Good luck to everyone!

I guess I can share my TTC story here. DH told me on my birthday that he wanted to officially start TTC. We had both been ready for a while but were waiting because of some work issues. I just started my current job in July. He was looking to change companies which meant a possible move. But we both agreed that we were tired of letting of work live dictate our personal plans. So my bday coincided with AF so I did not start a new pack of BCP and just waited to see what would happen.

I had already had a pre-conception visit in August with my midwife. She recommended that we wait one month of BCP but admitted it wasn’t really necessary, it just helps her better estimate the due date. I had been taking a multivitamin with 400mg of folic acid for three years. I don’t smoke, rarely drink and do not have a daily caffeine need. The midwife gave me the green light to TTC and I was ready to go.

I did get PG my first cycle but miscarried at the fifth week. I had a positive digital test, had all the PG symptoms but later tested blood tests showed dropping hGC levels. AF showed a week after the negative tests. I was upset but also realize that that baby was just not genetically well put-together and meant to make it into the world. This may sound harsh, but I work with disabled children and I would rather let a baby who had EXTREMELY SEVERE genetic problems go than fight for it to live a life of intense pain and suffering. (This is not a judgment on people with disabilities or parental decisions. There are wide range of disabilities and it possible for a disabled person to live a long and fulfilling life.) I have also learned (especially from the CC women) that early miscarriages are quiet common and do not mean we have fertility issues or will not have a healthy baby.

So we are hopeful, positive and trying TTC again this month. I am trying to take a relaxed approached because I have learned that I only have a limited amount of control in the TTC process.

[Aletheia]

roberta- Don't put it like that! I didn't "catch you" as though you had your hand in the cookie jar. :) I'm glad you're lurking and I'm adding you to the front page anyways. So there. :) Thanks for sharing your story with us!

[Aletheia]

Well girls, December is (or will be darn quickly) here! This means that
Aletheia, Camdynlyn, mimieliza, and QuarterCentury and maybe LynzeyAHL (December/January?) have officially joined the TTC party!

So how is everyone doing?

I have a QOTD!
How will you test? Will DH be with you? Who will look at the test first? Would you ever test without DH? Would you tell him if you did?


When we had to test because of a possible oops many months ago (9 months ago, strangely enough) I let him look at it first. I, ignorantly, was sure it would be positive, and dealing with two people's disappointment (plus all the embarassment from having gotten his hopes/nerves worked up) was really not easy to deal with.

If my test date is Christmas, we'll test together, plain and simple, just because it's Christmas. If it isn't, though, I might be sneaky and test by myself (if my temps are still up) just to prevent that collapse of collective disappointment... it's probably silly, he is my DH after all...

Oh, and he also said he didn't think I'd be able to test without him and not tell him about it. If that isn't an invitation to be devious and secretive, what is?? ;)

[Camdynlyn]

I have a QOTD!
How will you test? Will DH be with you? Who will look at the test first? Would you ever test without DH? Would you tell him if you did?




To answer the QOTD, I will more than likely test by myself so I can make it some big suprise for Hubby! That's how I've envisioned it, at least. I have mixed emotions about telling and when to tell.

[BethIrish]

How will you test? Will DH be with you? Who will look at the test first? Would you ever test without DH? Would you tell him if you did?

I will probably test alone :) I want to surprise DH when the time comes!!! I have one, lone test at home...I resolving that I will not test until AF is late....so I'm hoping that is the lucky test :p

I am getting so anxious about TTC. I just want to start NOW!! Our original plan was to start on our 2nd anniversary - thats on Tuesday. My annual exam is January 16th - so I don't think we'll be doing any real BDing until after that....just practicing ;) And since AF usually arrives around the 20th of the month - February will be our first "real" cycle trying. Aletheia, can you change our TTC month to February? I think the chances of us catching an eggy in January are slim to none, since I want to wait until I get the all clear from the Dr.

I was trying to convince DH to just go for it last night...no dice :rolleyes: He kept telling me I didn't want to be 5 months PG in Ireland next May. Sigh.

[Harmony96]

Congrats to cocoa!!!!! So excited and happy for you. :D

Beth, you and I are waiting for almost the same day to start TTCing. I have an eye appointment on January 17 (I won't go into why that relates to TTC here though... long story LOL) and can't be pregnant for it. But then DH's birthday is on the 25th. So hopefully I'll be at the right time in my cycle for that. But right now I'm CD 21 and I've had cycles of 41 and 53 days off the pill so far. No O yet on this one.

QOTD - How will you test? Will DH be with you? Who will look at the test first? Would you ever test without DH? Would you tell him if you did? I plan on testing by myself so I can surprise DH. Right now he is aware of my cycle though so I'll have to make him un-aware when the time comes, LOL.

Andrea

[BethIrish]

Hi Ladies!!!!

Nobody has posted in a while....thought I'd give us a little bumpity bump with a QOTD!!!

Are you going through this holiday season thinking "This is hopefully the last *** that we'll have with out a baby?!

Everytime we do something Christmas-y, I think "YAY, this time next year we'll have a baby!!!" I hope I'm not setting myself up for disapointment :)

Good luck to everyone who is TTC this month!! Hope you ladies will come back and tell us how it goes :D

[mandersald]

hi ladies-
bethirish it is so funny that you asked that qotd, since just last night when we were decorating our christmas tree, dh said to me, "so, do you think that this time next year you'll have graduated from grad school and be pregnant?" and, i said, "YES! get me out of school and knocked up!" :D so, yes, it certainly has come up! i wonder what it will be like celebrating the holidays with a little one...

hope everyone is coming along! i'm hoping that we can ttc in feb, although, it might be later than that. keep your fingers crossed!

[Camdynlyn]

QOTD: I do think about it but not all the time. I am trying not to get my hopes up. We have been BDing A LOT though! ;) Hopefully this is our month.

[mrstim]

I graduated from here to TTC'ing, but I promised to come back in and let everyone know when I got knocked up! Guess what?

I'm due in August!! :D It took one month of TTc'ing for us this time! Sticky vibes, please! :D

[LadyD088]

Aletheia - Will you change me to April? We've pushed back our date due to the Holiday seasons, biggest rush for my DH and he doesn't need the added stress of possible labor during that time!!

How will you test? Will DH be with you? Who will look at the test first? Would you ever test without DH? Would you tell him if you did?
*Yeah, I am pretty sure it will be me alone. That way I can surprise my DH with a few gifts I am going to purchase him. Besides, I am home all day and I certainly doubt I can wait until he gets home!!!

Are you going through this holiday season thinking "This is hopefully the last *** that we'll have with out a baby?!
*Well, its not for us so I haven't really thought about it. I have thought that this might be the last year I'm just me...I could be PG next year and that would be awesome!!!

Deb

[Harmony96]

Are you going through this holiday season thinking "This is hopefully the last *** that we'll have with out a baby?!
We haven't thought THAT, per se, but we do think that "by this time next year we could be parents!". We took our annual holiday pictures a few weeks ago and wonder if next year we'll have a baby in them or a big belly.

Andrea

[Janey]

mrstim - Congratulations!!! :D How exciting. :D Happy & Healthy nine months!

[BethIrish]

CONGRATS MRSTIM!!!!!!!

[mrstim]

Thanks everyone! I'm still in shock!

[Harmony96]

Congrats MrsTim. :)

I have a new QOTD prompted by MrsTim's response. :D I know a bunch of us have been wanting or hoping or planning for an eventual baby for YEARS (by doing research, reading, talking, etc. When we do get our BFPs... how do you think you will react since it's something you've been wanting for a while? Will you be in shock for weeks or months or will it feel surreal to you?

I think it will seem surreal to me. Like "wow... I'm pregnant... wow... I'm pregnant" a broken record over and over. LOL. I don't know if it will sink in right away or if I'll have to wait until I get sick or feel the baby or HAVE the baby. (and if it doesn't sink in by the time I HAVE the baby... I have problems. LOL).

andrea

[Aletheia]

Woohoo! Congratulations, Mrs. Tim! You are an inspiration to all of us! Any advice or reflections you'd like to share?


Great QOTD's, ladies! Are you going through this holiday season thinking "This is hopefully the last *** that we'll have with out a baby?! Yes. Yes, yes. I'm already thinking along the lines of "so we won't have to travel next holiday season since everyone will want to come see us..." I sure hope I'm right. But I think it would be fun to be pregnant during the holidays too. We both live really far from our families, and this will be the first grandbaby. I have a feeling that I'll only get coddled and spoiled when I'm pregnant-- as soon as that kid is out of there I am sure I will fade into the background and all the new grandparents will see is the baby. :) So I'll admit: selfishly, I wouldn't mind being PG for the holidays!
When we do get our BFPs... how do you think you will react since it's something you've been wanting for a while? Will you be in shock for weeks or months or will it feel surreal to you? Oh dear. I almost don't want to answer this question because it will make me realize just how excited I will be... there, you've done it. Dang it. I will be SO IMPOSSIBLY excited I will probably release all sorts of joy- and giggle-based hormones and end up giving birth to the most optimistic baby ever seen. :)

Alright ladies. I need to limit my CC time a bit today as apparently I'm driving four hours to "be" (and I mean that in a biblical sense, LOL) with DH tonight...

Wish me luck in catching the egg but avoiding the cops as I speed away in my little car! Voosh!

[mandersald]

congrats to mrstim and tonysweetie!!

in response to the qotd, i have a feeling that i'll probably start crying cause i'm so happy. go figure, ya know?

good luck aletheia!! lets hope you and dh catch your egg!!

[batgirl]

HUGE Congratulations to MrsTim and Tonysweetie!!

Its good to see some graduates on this thread!

Not much new here. I've been having a lot of TTC doubts lately. So much so that I bought condoms this month! I keep feeling like the timing would be better if we waited a bit (early spring?). Honestly, DH and I have both realized that an "oops" would be the best way! Takes the pressure off! So I am definitely still TTC#1 in a couple of months, just don't know exactly when.

I'm going to keep track of my days and use a condom from CD10-CD20 or so. I know that I must sound nuts to you guys, but the pressure of "the right time to TTC" was just a bit too much. Maybe I'll get pregnant, maybe I won't. Honestly, either way would be just fine (for now anyway!)

I hope you guys still don't mind me posting in this thread??? Please! I am completely neurotic and could change my mind again by next month, then be actively TTC again!

Aletheia have a safe drive tonight, and have fun ;)

[Aletheia]

batgirl- the night before we, to use was it Panties' phrase?-- pulled the goalie?-- we had date night. Date night started with me expressing some of my worries about TTC and ended with me blubbering like a baby about not being sure if the timing was right for a baby. So whether getting down to the baby making the night after means that I am reckless or brave or just plain neurotically disunified, I definitely understand the anxiety surrounding this big decision.

And it got me thinking. It wasn't so long ago (this century!) that TTC wasn't a big decision... precisely because there was very little decision about it! If I, as a relatively well-educated and liberal woman didn't know about how long and when I'm fertile until THIS CALENDAR YEAR, the obsession about TTC is a relatively new cultural phenomenon (at least to the degree that boards like this one allow for.) So no wonder it feels so huge-- there's little to no precedent for being this much in control.

I've spent the last several months wishing for an oops, and not just because DH wasn't on board quite yet. An oops would have meant that I didn't have to say, "OK. I'M OFFICIALLY READY TO OPEN MYSELF UP TO A LIFE WHEREBY MY HEART WILL GET PUT IN ANOTHER BODY AND I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO THINK ONLY ABOUT MYSELF AGAIN." Yeah. Who's ever *really* ready to make a decision like that?

Take home message from the long-winded: Stick around. ;)

[BethIrish]

batgirl I think it's totally normal to go back and forth on this TTC journey. I, too, often wish for just an oops. We're ready for a baby....but sometimes I think that statement of "Okay, we're ready, pull that goalie and let's go" is more scary than actually getting the postive HPT. For me, at least, I've spent the last 14 years trying NOT to get pregnant....hard habit to break ;)

I think when I get that positive HPT I will just be shocked. I have no idea how I will react!

eta: cross posted with A - What she said :D :D

and as a side note, A Where the heck have you been? I'm going to start lurking in your journal (Okay, I'll post, too) because I miss your witty banter here :)