What do you say? (Irresponsible pet owners)

[BethIrish]

My coworker, who I am quite friendly with, adopted a beautiful lab about 2 months ago. I think she has gotten in over her head and I just don't know what to say. Admittedly, he is a handful (100lb lab). I've advised her in every way I know how - take him to training, work with him etc. etc. Today at lunch she was saying "I don't want to give him up, and I'll wait at least a year - but I just don't know that I can handle him." I've suggested everything from doggy training, a dog walker, doggy day care....she hasn't acted on any of my suggestions. Just continues to complain about his behavior.

She also allows the dog to wander around her neighborhood off leash. I've told her it's a bad idea and she admits it. But she continues to do it.

What would you say?

[BethIrish]

Also, more of a rant than anything else. I got an email from an acquaintance through my sorority alum group. She bought a puppy on Saturday. Here is what it said:
"I am a recent UX grad, determined to have an adorable puppy, I
bought one this weekend. ( As many of you had probably heard ) And as
much as its hard to admit that my friends were right and to my dismay,
it takes MUCH more time than I have..After hours of crying and
grappling with the idea, I have decided to sell her...."

Ugh, the email went on to say how the price was negotiable but she wanted to recoup the money she put out on this.

Urgh. If I could reach through the computer to slap her, I would!

[kam]

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH.

First, why on earth does your co-worker want to wait a year? It sounds like she's not actively trying to change anything. Waiting won't change anything. Maybe say something like "If you're going to give him up, it's MUCH easier to adopt out a puppy than an adult."

The second? I can't stand that.

I can't stand people sometimes.

[BethIrish]

I find it harder and harder, the more I learn about how stupid people are when it comes to their pets, to keep bite my tongue. I don't want to be the crazy animal lady, but it seriously pains me when I hear coworkers talking about buying a puppy from a pet store or (what obviously is) a BYB.

[Scooter]

I can be pretty blunt with my good friends, so I'd just say, "Listen, training a dog takes a LOT of time and energy. If you can't commit to that, both you & the dog deserve a better situation. The dog deserves an owner who is going to train him before he picks up a bunch of bad habits. The longer you wait, the worse it will be for the dog. It's harder for older, full-grown dogs with bad habits and no training to be adopted. You already know all the things you can do, so you've got to decide if you're either going to do them or going to give the dog away. And you need to do it soon."

[Chile]

Sadly, anything you say, I don't think is going to matter. People like that just don't listen. They think dogs come pre-trained and magically prepared. I know you've suggested training to her, maybe if you actually gave her a brochure? I know many trainers have their own advertising so maybe that would give her a kick in the butt.

As for the lab straying, maybe she's not aware of just how much it costs to get a dog out of the pound? I know it's not cheap just from what other people have said. Unless of course, that's the way she's trying to get rid of the lab. Also any wandering dog can get into a lot of trouble (other off leash dogs, wild animals, cars, dognapping, animal abusing kids and adults, poisons, etc.)

Regarding the other person - ugh is all I have to say. Besides the fact that the girl is an idiot.

[katmg]

Ugh! People don't understand that training a dog does take a lot of time and energy. Dogs and kids don't come with owners' manuals. Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot that you can say to her to make her understand that. DH has loaned out a book that we found very helpful to people at his office when they have expressed problems with their dogs.

[jbenny75]

I can be pretty blunt with my good friends, so I'd just say, "Listen, training a dog takes a LOT of time and energy. If you can't commit to that, both you & the dog deserve a better situation. The dog deserves an owner who is going to train him before he picks up a bunch of bad habits. The longer you wait, the worse it will be for the dog. It's harder for older, full-grown dogs with bad habits and no training to be adopted. You already know all the things you can do, so you've got to decide if you're either going to do them or going to give the dog away. And you need to do it soon."

Well said. What is waiting a year going to do, but make things worse? People are so freakin STUPID!! If you ever do get to slap these two, give em one for me.

[keska]

If she complains again about her dog's behavior, I would remind her that I already came up with some ideas that she had not tried yet. Every time she complains, I'd say the same thing and then change the conversation to another topic. From what you've said, it appears that she just wants to complain. She doesn't really want advice. If she doesn't want advice, whatever you say isn't going to make any difference.

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by Scooter
I can be pretty blunt with my good friends, so I'd just say, "Listen, training a dog takes a LOT of time and energy. If you can't commit to that, both you & the dog deserve a better situation. The dog deserves an owner who is going to train him before he picks up a bunch of bad habits. The longer you wait, the worse it will be for the dog. It's harder for older, full-grown dogs with bad habits and no training to be adopted. You already know all the things you can do, so you've got to decide if you're either going to do them or going to give the dog away. And you need to do it soon."

This is exactly what I'd say to a friend of mine in this situation. However - people don't always listen...my friend has gotten and not trained and then gotten rid of 3 dogs since I've known her. It makes me crazy to see irreponsible pet owners! Hopefully your coworker will take what you say and either put in the time or consider finding it a new home now.

[katiadarling]

It didn't sound like you live near her, but if you do, quite honestly, I'd call animal control on her the next time you see the dog wandering around. If people aren't treating their dogs right and not listening to your suggestions, I think it's the best thing to give them a jolt in the pants by making them visit the pound and pay the fines.
I work at a humane society and you'd be amazed by the number of people who ask if a stray animal is house broken! *gasp* how could it be? duhhhh
If she keeps the animal for a year without working with it, it's behavior is just going to get worse... then who's going to want to adopt it. If she won't take it to a trainer and work with it, try to get her to give it up as soon as possible. Some people don't deserve to have a dog. (sorry, this is a very sore topic for me)

[jnettie]

I just want to slap people like this!

DH and I almost hit a dog that was off leash (in NYC!) and the owner had the audacity to yell at US! We weren't driving on the sidewalk, HIS DOG ran in front of our car!

We've also spent 2 years now with a cat we adopted that was obviously neglected. It was such a struggle to get her to trust us. So, I have very little patience for people like this myself.

[la_bride_2004]

I have friends who believe training "takes the dog out of the dog" and it's BAD and EVIL to reign the dog in. I've learned to shut up around them. (Obviously, I think a good dog is a trained dog!). Their neighbors have started calling animal control every time the dogs get loose. (A hint, d'ya think?).

Good news is that they definitely don't want children.