What to Wear to a Bat Mitzvah

[AmyAmy]

Hello Ladies,

I am first time poster and am looking for some help. :) My DH and I have to go to a Bat Mitzvah in two weeks and being a Catholic haven't really been to one of these since I was 12. I was wondering how dressy these things usually are. What kind of outfit should I wear? What about DH, should he wear a suit and tie? Please help! :confused:

[bookworm]

I would wear something similar to what you'd wear to a wedding. (Around here that would mean yes to the suit and tie for DH.)

I'll admit I don't know Jewish tradition (and someone should absolutely correct me!), but I'd assume you should cover your shoulders for the ceremony.

[Jessica]

I agree with bookworm that it's similar to a wedding. But, like weddings, some are definetly more formal than others. I've been to black tie bar mitzvahs where I wore a floor length dress, I've been to semi-formal ones, and I've been to more casual ones where I wore dress pants.

Where's it being held and when?

[laura]

Like a wedding, I would use the invite as at least a partial guide. Is it in the evening? Is it at a fancy place? If I got invited to one, I would assume my husband would wear a suit and I would wear a dress. That would be normal attire for a wedding in our circle of friends, as well.

[AmyAmy]

After reading the posts above and checking out the invite (its at 5:45 in the eveing-the service, and the reception following the service at the Temple). Its in the philadelphia suburbs (mainline for those that know the area). So I am guessing its pretty dressy now, but not blacktie since it didn't mention it in the invite? Is that a safe guess? Hmmm, looks like I will need to go dress shopping. Darn. :D

[tenofcups]

I'm from the Philly area, Jewish, and have a lot of family in the Main Line area so I'm pretty familiar with bar/bat mitzvahs around there... ;) Yes, definitely a suit for your husband and a dressy dress for you. A gown would be too formal but a dressy cocktail dress would be appropriate.

[AmyAmy]

Great. Must go find a new dress now. :D My husband doesn't seem to understand why... :)

[suzubeane]

After reading the posts above and checking out the invite (its at 5:45 in the eveing-the service, and the reception following the service at the Temple). Its in the philadelphia suburbs (mainline for those that know the area). So I am guessing its pretty dressy now, but not blacktie since it didn't mention it in the invite? Is that a safe guess? Hmmm, looks like I will need to go dress shopping. Darn. :DUntil you posted the time, I would have said just to wear anything you'd wear to church. Typically, a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is simply a regular sabbath service. Usually, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah Boy/Girl takes a larger role in leading the service, but it's the same service that's held every other sabbath. That's actually the point of the thing - to mark the occasion where a child becomes an adult in the Jewish community, and can take on roles of responsibility during the reading of the Torah, be counted as an adult when certain prayers are said, etc.

THIS Bat Mitzvah is at 5:45 - My son has been to a number of of evening B'nai Mitzvah, and since this is not a time the Torah is typically read, these are the ones where the PARTY is the focus of the event - not the service. (No synagogue would allow you to stage a party during the sabbath, but they will allow you to hold the service later, so the party can begin right after Sundown.) Therefore, cocktail-wear is appropriate, with the caveat that, as others have said, your shoulders should be covered, and try not to go too low in the neck line, or down the back.

Sorry if this is TMI; I thought some background might help.