Dog Humor

[Jaycee]

I thought this was worthy of sharing...anyone else have any good dog humor?

Rules for the Dog

1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a
specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog
house.

2. Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if
his own house is under renovation.

3. Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided
his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.

4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined
to a comfortable but secure metal cage.

5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog
house in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever he pleases.

6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.

7. Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new furniture.


8. Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the
old furniture and then we'll sell the whole works and buy new furniture upon
which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.

9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.

10. Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.

11. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he's not allowed under
the covers.

12. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on
the pillow.

13. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you under the covers with his head
on the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room.

14. Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but
he's not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I'm now
sleeping. That's just not fair.

15. The dog never gets listed on the census questionnaire as "primary
resident," even if it's true.

[mb1197]

HA! I don't have anything to add, but I can see all of this happening to us since we just got our first puppy.:)

[Jaycee]

YOU DID?? Congratulations!!!!!!! what kind of puppy did you get? How old?

[mb1197]

She is just over 9 weeks old now, but we got her when she was 5 weeks. She is a Siberian Husky and I'm totally in love with her.:D Here's a couple pictures for you....
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce22b3127cce9436ed8b1ee800000016108QcuG7Vs3Z-
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d733b3127cce9455961f859900000015108QcuG7Vs3Z-
The first one was taken yesterday and the second one was when we first got her. As you can see I love to brag. I'm also mom to two cats and a bird.:D

[Jaycee]

She's gorgeous!! Whats her name? ...

and I put money that she'll be sleeping in your bed in no time ;)

[mb1197]

Thanks!:D She is growing so fast. Her name is Sasha after her mom.

I don't doubt that she'll be in my bed before long. We are currently crate training her, but I couldn't stand having her in another room so the crate is now next to my side of the bed.:rolleyes: I hope there comes a time that I won't have to do that anymore when she gets older.

[Jaycee]

It goes fast. ;)

[mb1197]

It already is! I don't have kids yet, but my cats and now my puppy feel like my babies (and they certainly act like it too!)

[TX Sweetheart]

Jaycee, that list was hilarious! We'll have to keep that in mind when we get a puppy sometime this winter.

mb1197, I think I've said this before (and I know I've thought it LOL) but Sasha is gorgeous and adorable all at the same time!

[Belm]

I loved that!

[MsPeachy]

"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where
they went." ~ Will Rogers

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
~Ben Williams

"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can
spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has
ever
made." M.Facklam

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I
have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." ~ James Thurber

"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his
water bowl." ~ Penny Ward Moser

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious
cult." ~ Rita Rudner

"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current
events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of
late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are
often continued in the next yard." ~ Dave Barry

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.
That's almost $21.00 in dog money." ~ Joe Weinstein

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back
from a grocery store with the most amazing haul chicken, pork, half a cow.
They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" ~ Anne Tyler

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." ~ Robert A. Heinlein

[mb1197]

Jaycee, that list was hilarious! We'll have to keep that in mind when we get a puppy sometime this winter.

mb1197, I think I've said this before (and I know I've thought it LOL) but Sasha is gorgeous and adorable all at the same time!
I think Sasha is going to get a huge ego if she keeps getting all these compliments.:D