Ceremony writing help

[311girl]

I want to write our ceremony from beginning to end. Does anyone know of any good websites or books where I can research how to put something like this together? I don't want it to be too long, maybe 20 minutes tops. And I want to include a poem about love or marriage, so if you know any great sites to hit for that, let me know. Also, if anyone has written their own ceremony, please share, I'd love to see what you created. :)

[kalogrias]

We wrote our entire ceremony, but that was mostly because we were having an inter-faith (Jewish/Lutheran) wedding, and there was very little out there that was well integrated.

We got the "Interfaith Weddings for Dummies" or "The Idiots Guide to Interfaith Weddings", which proved to be very helpful, and then when we googled it on Amazon, there were other books linked to it, which we checked out. We also asked our rabbi where to look, and he gave us some books.

I would start with a really basic guide -- there must be an Idiots guide that isn't for interfaith (assuming you're not interfaith) -- and there will be recommendations in there, or, as we saw, on Amazon.

[Kellijo14]

We wrote our own ceremony. We used a couple of books and got ideas from several websites. We didn't want any mention of God in our wedding or reception, so it was important that we write it ourselves.

These are some of the links that we used. I also did a lot of Google searching for individual parts of the ceremony. We did a ring exchange and a unity candle. We also did things a little out of the ordinary in that we had our moms light the candles during the ceremony. I had both my parents walk me up the aisle so it was important to work in the lighting of the candles somehow.

http://www.uuottawa.com/wedbook.html
http://www.colantonio.net/wedding/ceremony.html
http://homepage.mac.com/gpool/wedding/overview/ceremony.html
http://zimmer.csufresno.edu/~kimberll/wedding/cerscript.htm
http://www.jason.hammond.net/goodthings/ceremony/script.htm

We also used the following books:
Your special wedding vows / Sharon Naylor
Weddings from the heart : contemporary and traditional ceremonies for an unforgettable wedding / Daphne Rose Kingma.

It took us about two hours to write it. It was great to sit down and spend the quality time together figuring out what we wanted our ceremony to be. If you would like to see a copy of our finished script that we used, please PM me. We were very happy with how it turned out.

[Sare79]

We wrote our own ceremony too. We are having a non-religious ceremony with a justice of the peace and she gave us a few sample ceremonies and put in bold the parts she was legally bound to say. So we incorporated what she had to say and what we wanted. We are having her recite a poem at the beginning, and two of our friends are doing readings during the ceremony. We incorporated the hand ceremony and have lovely vows that we wrote.

[Sazoo]

We wrote our own ceremony too. We are having a non-religious ceremony with a justice of the peace and she gave us a few sample ceremonies
Same here - our minister provided some sample ceremony language & also a general outline of the flow of the ceremony. From there, we customized it, added in readings, poems, etc. We sent it back to the minister & he tweaked it a bit more, & then we all agreed on the final version.

In addition to the sample text we got from our minister, I got a lot of ideas from the ceremony/vows forum on the WC.

I have the text of my ceremony saved on my computer & I'd be happy to send it to you via email (or PM even) if you'd like to see it. It's kind of long so I don't really want to post the whole thing here in this thread. I'd say our ceremony lasted about 20-25 minutes total, including the 2 short readings we asked people to do.

If you'd like to see the text of our ceremony, post in the thread here or send me a PM & I'd be happy to send it to ya! ;)

[MichelleRenee]

"The Everything Wedding Vows Book: Anything and Everything You Could Possibly Say at the Altar - And Then Some"

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/1580624553.01._BO2,204,203,200_PIlitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,32,-59_AA240_SH20_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

This book has a chapter on what components are necessary in a ceremony, what you can add, and what you don't have to have. It then does, by chapter, choices for readings, vows, ring exchange, etc. You basically pick one of each until you have everything you need/want. It helped us a lot! It also has a bunch of non-traditional ceremonies and ideas, as well as many different cultural ideas.

Our Reverend also gave us a packet spilt into sections. Each section had several choices and we could just choose one from each section.

Good luck!

PS I checked the book out from the library.

[sublime311]

I found ours on the internet - we tweaked it to be OURS. This ceremony was largely borrowed from an internet posted ceremony. It could be found here (http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com) in its entirety. Here is ours - maybe it will give you some ideas:

Officiant John’s Welcome

Welcome, one and all. How beautiful is the day that is touched by love! We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony.

Presentation of the Bride

Officiant John: Who gives this woman to be married to this man?
Grammy, Christian, and Seanie: We do.

Officiant John’s Opening Remarks

The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and their nurture in the knowledge and love of God. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God.
Into this holy union James and Kelli now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else forever hold your peace.

Relationship Thoughts from Officiant John

Sooner or later we begin to understand that love is more than verses on valentines and romance in movies.

We begin to know that love is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in our lives. For love is the creator of our favorite memories and the foundation of our fondest dreams.

Without love, we merely exist. With love, we truly begin to live!
For love is a promise that is always kept, a fortune that can never be spent, a seed that can flourish in even the most unlikely place. And this radiance that never fades, this mysterious and magical joy is the greatest treasure of all - one known only by those who truly love.

We are together as friends, relatives and family to mark the end of one beginning and to recognize officially a new beginning which for James and Kelli serves as a public affirmation of their friendship and their love.
Someone once said: The most wonderful of all things in life, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase.

This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It's a Divine destiny."

They want this day to mean something special to you. Those who are married may want to silently renew and reaffirm their vows today by gently taking the hand of their partner during this ceremony. Others may want to also join hands and think about what it means to be a friend, for marriage is built first on friendship.

There are no ties on earth so sweet, none so tender as those you are about to assume. There are no vows so solemn as those you are about to make. There is no institution of earth so sacred as that of the union you will form, for the true home is not only the place in which you will live, but is also the dwelling place where each lives in the heart and mind of the other.

Charge to the Couple

James and Kelli, true marriage is the holiest of all earthy unions. It is to be entered into reverently, consciously and with full understanding of its significance.
To be complete, marriage must be spiritual as well as an earthly estate. When it is Spiritual in thought, purpose, plan and action, it becomes the harmonious, peaceful and happy union for man and woman.
The state of matrimony is true marriage only when it is based upon a deep, inner communion of two souls who find completion, each in the other.
Today, your separate lives, each with your individual memories, desires and hopes, merge into one life - a new dimension.

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created. In the art of marriage the little things are the big things.

• It is never being too old to hold hands.
• It is remembering to say, I love you" (out loud), at least once a day.
• It is never going to sleep angry.
• It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
• It is at no time taking the other for granted. . . for what you take for granted, disappears.
• It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
• It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
• It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel.
• It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
• It is having the capacity to forgive and not bring it up later.
• It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
• It is a common search for the good and the beautiful in each other.
• It is not only marrying the right partner, it is BEING the right partner.

Marriage can be a great adventure when it is the outward expression of a great love; such a love is characterized by compassion, passion and courage.
It allows you to see through to your partner's essence, willing to be in total support of your partner's well-being, goals, purpose and spirit; and unwilling for your partner to be less than all he or she can be spiritually, mentally, and physically.

Such a love requires that you be totally honest with yourself and your mate, that you ask for what you want, take action even though you are afraid, share your feelings and listen but leave your partner free to be who they really are. In other words, always love your partner for who they are, not for who you think they should be.

Always remember, "Relationships are something that must be worked on all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed. Never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place."
We as your friends gathered here today, accept for you a love that brings out your magnificence, a love that gives you the courage to stand apart and the willingness to stand together.

Most of all, we want that, at the end of your lives on this planet, you will look into each others eyes and be able to say:
"Because you have loved me, you have given me a faith in myself, and because I have faith in myself, I have loved my fellow man. My life with you has been complete."

• • •

Wedding Reading

BLESSING FOR A MARRIAGE
~ James Dillet Freeman ~

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.

May you always need one another - not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete; the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with you and you.

May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another, but not compel one another.
May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces.

May you look for things to praise, often say, "I love you!" and take no notice of small faults.

If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to have good sense enough to take the first step back.

May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another's presence - no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities.

May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.

• • •

Declaration of Consent

Officiant John: James and Kelli, will you release the past, bringing only those memories, desires and hopes which will belong to each other, into your future life together?
Both: We will.
Officiant John: Please face each other.

• • •

Continued in the next post......

[sublime311]

Cotninued from previous post....

Bride & Groom Say Personal Vows to Each Other

Officiant John: At this time James and Kelli would like to make personal promises to each other.
Officiant John to Groom: James, do you reach out in love to receive Kelli and choose to share your life with her? Will you promise always to give to her your expression of your ever growing love, will you comfort her, be sensitive to her needs, express your feelings with her, listen to her, put your trust in her, and forsaking all others honor her as your equal partner?
Groom: "I do" or "I will"
Officiant John to Bride: Kelli, do you reach out in love to receive James and choose to share your life with him? Will you promise always to give to him your expression of your ever growing love, will you comfort him, be sensitive to his needs, express your feelings with him, listen to him, put your trust in him, and forsaking all others honor him as your equal partner?
Bride: "I do" or "I will"

Officiant John: Please repeat after me.
(Kelli and James say the following at the same time to each other)
I give you my love
my heart
my hope
my joy
these I offer you freely.
To delight in your soul
to nourish your mind.
To celebrate love with you
to share my joy
to console you in sorrow
I choose to go with you always
I promise to listen to you
to express my innermost feelings
to labor with you
to believe in you
even when you doubt yourself
to be the mirror
of your highest value
and to hold myself beside you
for the rest of our days.

Exchange of Vows

Officiant John to Groom: James, please repeat after me.
In the name of God, I James, choose you, Kelli, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Officiant John to Bride: Kelli, please repeat after me.
In the name of God, I Kelli, choose you, James, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Officiant John: What symbols do you give in this marriage?
Bride and Groom: Rings.
(Ring bearer, Andrew, gives rings to bride and groom)
Your rings are circles and a circle is the symbol of the sun, the earth, the universe, of wholeness, perfection, peace and unity. Like circles, your rings have no beginning and no ending.

These rings will be worn by James and Kelli to show to the world their love and commitment to one another. Let each of us in his own way, may it be prayer, may it be by a thought, whatever you and I would wish for this couple, let's pray or have our own thoughts as a blessing upon these rings. Let us pause at this time for these silent blessings. (pause) These rings, now blessed are a symbol of love and faithfulness.

Officiant John to Groom: James, please repeat after me.
I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
You may now place the ring on her finger.

Officiant John to Bride: Kelli, please repeat after me.
I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
You may now place the ring on his finger.

• • •

Pronouncement of Marriage

Now that James and Kelli have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of a ring, I now pronounce you husband and wife, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Those whom god has joined together, let no one put asunder.

• • •

The Unity Candle Ceremony

Officiant John: You will observe that behind me there are three candles. Through the love and illumination of God, your paths have come together, and in this symbolic ceremony, you will each take a lighted candle, representing your previous separate pathways, and together you will light the Unity candle, symbolizing your willingness to walk life's pathways together as one.
You may now proceed in the lighting of the candle.

Music begins: The Prayer by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli
(Cathy and Allene join the couple at the candles. They each will light a taper representing the couples past lives. From these candles, the couple will light their own candle together).

• • •

Officiant John: You may now seal your promises with a kiss.
Introduction of Couple

Officiant John: Ladies and Gentlemen: It is my pleasure to introduce to you, Mr. & Mrs. James Z.

Now go in peace and forever Celebrate Love!

This looks long because there is so many words, but when spoken it went really super quick. When you find vows you love, you'll have to try them out by role-playing them to get the timing down. Have fun!

[sublime311]

love your user name!

[colleenjoy]

We "wrote" our own ceremony also. We took bits and peices from different places. I found most of my information on the WC. there was a great thread about cermenonies. don't know if it's still around or not. I'll post my ceremony.

In Ma where we got married you can have anyone "solemnized" by the govenor to be allowed to marry you. it was a great option for us as neither of us is religious. we had a good friend of dh marry us. It turned out to be wonderful.

Here's our ceremony. from start to finish i think it was about 20min, but honestly i have no sense of timing from that day. everything was just kind of a blur of time.

Introduction: Kevin

Dear Family and Friends, Colleen and Peter have asked all of us here today to share with them the beginning of a special commitment that they are making to one another. Their public declaration of love is neither an end or a beginning, but rather a time of momentary pause before continuing and changing and growing over the years to come.

Colleen and Peter want to thank all of you, family and friends, for being with them today as they begin the next chapter in their life together. Your presence adds a special meaning to this day. They also remember those people who cannot be here, but who are close at heart and present in spirit.

To last, a marriage should be a continuous commitment of each person to the other, and to the wider community of which they are a part. Because Colleen and Peter feel a great closeness and respect for all of you present today, they have chosen each of you to witness their vows today. Marriage is an intensely personal act, but, in order for the couple's marriage to gain strength to last throughout the years, their union must be supported by their love of family and friends.

I invite you all to share in this moment by expressing your love, hope and joy for this occasion. If you are able, please stand now.

We are all here out of a love for Colleen and Peter and a support of this marriage. Please join in an affirmation of your wishes for them by saying "We do" to this question:
Do you promise to support Colleen and Peter with your love, uphold them with your wisdom and, through the days and years that lie ahead, sustain them in the vows they make today? Will you accept and support their marriage through the good times and the hard times? If so, answer "We will."

Thank you all. Please take your seats again.

And so for today, for here and for now, no matter how far we may have come to be here, whatever differences we may think we have, let us be one family united in love around Colleen and Peter— for that is what they need from us to make this a special day of purpose and joy.



Reading: Ellen

The key to love is understanding ... the ability to comprehend not only the spoken word, but also those unspoken gestures, the little things that say so much by themselves.
The key to love is forgiveness .... to accept each other’s faults and pardon mistakes without forgetting but with remembering what you learn from them
The key to love is sharing ... facing your good fortunes as well as the bad, together, both conquering problems, forever searching for ways to intensify your happiness.
The key to love is giving … without thought of return, but with the hope of just a simple smile, and by giving in but never giving up.
The key to love is respect … realizing that you are two separate people, with different ideas; that you don’t belong to each other, that you belong with each other, and share a mutual bond.
The key to love is inside us all … it takes time and patience to unlock all the ingredients that will take you to its threshold; it is the continual learning process that demands a lot of work…
But the rewards are more than worth the effort…
And that is the key to love.

-Robert M. Millay

Reading: David

Let not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not true
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! It is an ever-fixéd mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Shakespeare's Sonnet 116

[colleenjoy]

Vows: Kevin

The step which you are about to take is the most important into which you can come. It is a union of two people founded upon mutual respect and affection.
Please join hands,

Colleen repeat after me:

I Colleen, take you Peter to be my husband,
my soul mate and best friend for life.
I pledge that I will love you always –
both through our likenesses and through our differences.
I will honor your goals and your dreams, and help you to realize them.
And I vow to share my life with you through the best and worst of what is to come.


I Peter, take you, Colleen, to be my wife.
In this moment I promise to love you and care for you all of our days.
I accept you with your faults and your strengths,
even as I offer myself with my faults and strengths.
I promise to support you when you need support and to turn to you when I need support.
I choose you as the one with whom I will spend my life.


Ring Exchange: Kevin
Colleen, will you give your ring to Peter and repeat these words:

With this ring, I thee wed,
I give you this ring; wear it with love and joy.
I give you this ring as a reminder that I love you every day of your life.
I offer you this ring as a symbol of my enduring love.
I ask that you take it and wear it so that all may know you are touched by my love.


Peter, will you give your ring to Colleen and repeat these words:

With this ring, I thee wed,
I give you this ring; wear it with love and joy.
I give you this ring as a reminder that I love you every day of your life.
I offer you this ring as a symbol of my enduring love.
I ask that you take it and wear it so that all may know you are touched by my love.


Reading: Judy
Cherish Every Moment
Author Unknown

Today is the beginning of a dream.
A day where two souls are woven together.
Cherish every moment that life offers
And celebrate every small pleasure.

Express your love at every chance
And allow it to unfold gracefully.
Show your devotion and dedicate your lives
To the enrichment of each other.

Strive always for honesty and integrity.
Build upon your marriage daily
And seek to understand each other.
But above all this...
Draw upon the love you feel today


Reading: Joanne
Sonnet 18
William Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.


Closing/Pronouncement: Kevin
May the love which has brought you together today,
be a source of strength in the times to come.
May it bring you and those around you, inspiration and hope.
May it be a tide of joy which carries you over the troubled waters.
May it be a flame of wisdom in the dark and a cloak of comfort in the cold. May this love root you deeply in your life and lift you up higher than the stars. And may it bring you happiness and peace.

As you embark upon your new journey as husband and wife,
may you always remain sweethearts, companions, and friends.
May your life together be full of kindness and understanding, thoughtfulness and rejoicing.
May the years bring you happiness and contentment.
May you enter into each other's joy with gladness,
Into each other's hope with faith and trust,
Into each other's need with the sure presence of Love,
Into each other's lives with enthusiasm and embracing.
May the spirit of love be ever a part of your lives so that the union we celebrate this day be worthy of continued celebration - tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow!


And now may I present for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Colleen and Peter Cxxxx.

[wander_woman]

There's a good thread about ceremony readings and vows on the WC. There's also a very good one on www.indiebride.com.

[311girl]

Wow! Thanks everyone for posting your beautiful ceremonies! :)

[IrishMeg]

I've actually found this thread from WC to be some of the most helpful information I've found. It is long but it includes a lot of different poems, readings, and many different variations of vows. There are a lot of choices so you just sort out what you like and don't like and go from there.

http://boards.weddingchannel.com/thread.jspa?threadID=389182&tstart=15

[springprincess]

Does anyone have any ideas for very original readings for the ceremony? I think I'm having 2 or 3 readers, and I don't want the traditional, kind of sappy poems and readings.