TTC After a Loss

[RileyMom]

if you get af in october and af in november, you should start trying for December's ovulation, not after

:o

Duh, I am dense today. So technically then, I should be able to start trying right after my second AF appears, to catch the egg for my third ovulation. Geez, I don't know why this is so confusing today. It is Monday, that is my only excuse.

[excitedbride]

rileymom I was also told to wait two cycles, and yes it does seem like it is three. Because the m/c bleeding didn't count. So I had to wait two full cycles, then we could try on that third cycle. Very confusing!

[ruby]

I was told by my OB to wait 3 months-she didn't put it in terms of cycles. I am so freaked out because I only had one period (m/c July 26) and THOUGHT we were being careful and I just found out I am PG 2 days ago. So, I only went through one cycle, am completely resigned to having another m/c because I didn't follow doctor's orders, I haven't even told DH yet because I am so anxious and freaked out. I feel like if I acknowledge this pregnancy in the least that I am doomed to fail, it's the worst feeling.The only thing that reassurres me is that some of were told to just wait one cycle. Have any of you had a successful pregnancy after getting pg so soon after a mc? I could really use some reassurrance......

[RileyMom]

ruby Although I have not experienced this myself, I believe several women on here have conceived sooner than the 3 month mark following their d&c and have gone on to have healthy pregnancies. I am assuming the OB's say to wait because it gives your body a little more time to heal, but that certainly does not mean m/c is inevitable. You may want to post this question in the pregnancy forum. {{{hugs}}} to you. I can imagine how nervous you must be. Congratulations to you!

Weird question for you all- I had my d&c on September 9, and yesterday and today I am getting some serious ewcm. Yesterday it was more "chunky" (wayyyy TMI here) and today it is more ewcm-like. It even seems like I am getting more than usual. Do you think I am O'ing again already? It kind of made me feel good to see that, it give me assurance that my body is not broken somehow from the surgery. Anyway, what do you think? I guess if AF shows up in 12-14 days, I'll know. DH are abstaining, just in case.

[shouldaeloped]

ruby- I don't have any expereince there either but I have read and heard many stories about successful pregnancies very quickly after miscarriages. I know you can't help being scared but try to look at this as a second chance. there is every possibility in the world that this could be a very successful and uneventful pregnancy. my doctor told me that we could start to try after one cycle so you are perfectly in line with OB guidelines. try to relax and enjoy it. and Congratulations!!!

and rileymom- I think it's entirely possible to have ewcm after a d&c. sounds like your body healed itself quite nicely!

[ruby]

Thanks so much for your reassurrance shouldaeloped and rileymom. I am trying to having a positive outlook, telling DH tonite....:). Rileymom-I got AF exactly four weeks after my d &C so it's a good chance that you are ovulating. Our bodies do work well, don't they?

[excitedbride]

Congratulation's Ruby! I have heard of people only being told to wait one cycle after a m/c, so I am sure you will be just fine.:)

[taraw]

Congratulations Ruby, I have heard of many women having successful pregnancies soon after miscarriages. Good Luck!

RileyMom, I was the same way after my miscarriage. I had a TON more EWCM than ever that cycle. I am kind of bummed out that we didn't try to take advantage of it then because I have not had that much of it since then. But my doc told us to wait a couple of cycles as well.

My DH was out of town for most of the prime BD time this cycle, so I haven't been to confident about this cycle for me. I went to the Denver Broncos game last night and had a few beers, so now I am kicking myself in the butt because it is still a possibility. I am going to test tomorrow morning, even though it will still be a couple days before I am supposed to get AF. If I am PG this time, I will be so worried about the beers I had last night. :eek:

[taraw]

Well, I tested this morning and it was a BFN. In a way I was relieved since I was drinking the other night and the BFN is what I was expecting. But at the same time, I feel like every month that goes by that we don't get PG is such a huge setback. It has almost been 6 months since my miscarriage and I feel like it is going to take forever to get PG agin. :(

[excitedbride]

Tara I am so sorry for the BFN. I do know how hard it is, got a BFN last month. And I am just scared to test this cycle. I mean you get your hopes all up then they come crashing down again.:( And I am on Clomid.

[JAYLIN]

RUBY....a big congratulations to you. Yes, it's so nice when your body "works" and to not have to stress about TTC again is a huge blessing.

Anyway, I'm here to reassure you that everything can't absolutely be FINE if you don't wait 3 months. First of all my doctor says to only wait 1 period to begin with. But I had my 1st D&E in NOV 03 got AF exactly 4wks later (DEC) and got preg in JAN and had a healthy beautiful DD. So try to relax a little bit and be happy!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well I finally got a call back from my dr. and explained to her how irregular my AFs have been since the d&e. This past one was 41days......which is killing me!!! So she's going to run a few tests and do an ultrasound (?). I'm really hoping when I go in next month to see her she can tell me that I'm already pregnant....boy that would be nice.

TARA, sorry about the BFN, I can relate. I'm going on 6 month post d&e also and I can't believe I'm not preg yet. What scares me is my wacky cycles, this has never happened before. I'm really scared my body is "broke" this time. I ordered the basal therm. and TFOYF. I'm on CD 9 so I guess I'll be relying on the OPKs this month.

Good luck to anyone testing out there!

[jay&erinn]

Tara- Sorry to hear about AF. Keep coming here for support. When's your EDD from your m/c? Sometimes it's more of a relief when that day passes to help take the stress of being pregnant before then away. It really seems unfair that m/c really isn't taken into account in the world of infertility. I understand why, but if you TTC for a year, you get some help. However, if you m/c more than once and it takes a almost a year to get pregnant in between, they just let you go. We've been trying for over a year if you take into account both m/cs. I got a BFP in October of last year after 4 months of trying, and still am not pregnant- it's been a year and 3 months and counting- very frustrating.

Ruby: CONGRATULATIONS!!! Keep coming back to let us know how things are going. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. My doctor told me to wait one cycle both times. I had a family member who is a retired OB tell me to wait 6 months after the second m/c- I don't think so. I talked to my OB and a friend of my boss' who's also an OB and neither said I had to wait.

I'm just hanging out trying to get some quality BDing in. I'm on CD15 today. The first 2 weeks go so fast, and the last 2 just drag.

[papergirl]

hello again.

some of you may remember that i was avoiding the TTC threads in order to keep my sanity last cycle. at first i missed so many things but it did turn out to be a refreshing break, which i hope to continue becasue i easily tip over these days.

i have read up on the going on's in here and wanted to congratulate ruby. i wish you all the best in your pregnancy!

some new ladies have joined, i am sorry to welcome you here but i hope you find some comfort in knowing you are not alone.

in a past post someone wrote about TTC being an individual journey and not a race. thank you for posting those thought provoking words, i needed to hear that and i will try to remind myself of this when days are hard.

we were not one of the lucky people this cycle. it was long but i felt good. then we went on vacation during the 2ww which kept my mind off TTC. that is always a welcomed break. it felt great. eventually AF arrived and it was hard. i think it was the most difficult cycle post m/c thus far. i keep thinking it will get easier but it doesn't. i keep finding myself in these hazes of depression when AF shows up. this cycle it lasted longer then normal. it lasted for days. i cried, a lot. i cried so easily. two weeks later i still find myself filling up with tears. i am at a loss of what to do but i can't imagin going on like this - though i know i will because i want a baby so bad. i want to be a mother.

i know this might be premature of me but DH and i have begun to think of other options. i know we have not been trying all that long but with the m/c things have become so much harder. emotionally i am a wreck when TTC is not a success. at first it was just a few days but now it has been more then a week. i know i will be fine. i will get myself together. i will be happy. i will try again. but when trying again is not a success my heart breaks all over again and i am drained of all that i had rebuilt. if nothing has happend by the end of the year we will begin to research other options that work for us. it is sad and it is scary but i am happy to know that something will work out eventually. i have to believe and trust in that.

question: since having a m/c have any of you ladies found out that other close family members have medical issues keeping them from being a mother?

i know a cousin of mine had 4 m/c before giving birth to a healthy daughter. it took them close to 7 years and i do not know if they saught medical treatment but i wonder. i have now learned an aunt of mine had 4 m/c before giving up on her chances of being a mother. i wonder if there is something in our genes and it scares me to think i could follow in their foot steps.


can i vent for a moment? i do not know how you ladies feel, though i would love some insight if you want to discuss this, but i am tired of people who have not m/c telling me they *know* it will happen for me. i know they mean well and i appreciate that but i find no comfort in people telling me this. sometimes i need to vent about my disapointment in TTC. i appreciate when people listen and reply but the reply i am looking for is not "i know it will happen for you." i feel like snapping back and screaming "oh yah? well then look in that flucking cristal ball of yours and tell me when!"

to add to my frustration, i am tired of posting in my journal about my disapointment of TTC, which i do not talk about all that much, and having people ignor me. i honestly feel like when i bring up the topic people disapear fast. it sucks because sometimes that's all i want to talk about.

[/vent]

back to playing nice. ;)

to all you ladies approching the BD days - i wish you all the best. go sperm! get ready eggs! sending lots of baby dust!

[OCDwife]

Bumble...your "vent" raises an issue that I'm struggling with these days...it's not just you!

I had a m/c at the end of August (at 7.5 weeks, and we hadn't told anyone yet), and one of my "best" friends is due in January (got pregnant one the "first try", called me from the Walmart bathroom when she got her BFP and has had a totally textbook pregnancy thus far). She repeatedly tells me that she has dreams of me having a baby, and that everything will be fine the next time around....this is after of course, she tells me how "ugh, huuuuuuuuuuge her belly is, and how she's sooo hungry all of the time and how her clothes don't fit, and oh did I mention how huuuuuuuuuuuge I feel"...I try to not react and just pretty much change the subject, but it's really starting to infuriate me!

So ***hugs***, I know how you feel! Sending some babydust your way too :)

[excitedbride]

bumble Regarding your question you asked. I did find out that my sil had a m/c before having her DD, and that her two sisters each had a m/c before having their DC. Also, my mom had several m/c before she had me. I just don't know how my mom did it going through so many.

I too, get annoyed when people say, "it will happen for you". How do they know? I wish people knew that that is just the wrong thing to say to us!

Good luck to you! Baby dust your way! And everyone else's way!:D

[jay&erinn]

i am tired of people who have not m/c telling me they *know* it will happen for me

I had a retired OB/GYN who is a family member on DH's side tell me the same thing- 3 days after it happened. I just looked at him. I was shocked that he would say such a thing working with women in the same situation for so many years.

Bumble: I'm sorry you're having such a rough time emotionally. We're always here to listen if you need to vent, and we won't "run" away. We all know how you feel, since we've been there. How long have you been trying since your m/c?

[ajlanden]

Not quite sure I am ready to be posting here. I am in the process of m/c. I am sure you all know how I am feeling right now. Words cannot explain...and all I can do is sit here at work and pretend everything is fine.

Anyway, I do have a quick question. I am m/cing naturally at 6-7 weeks. I am going in for an u/s today (even though that is the LAST thing I want to do.) to make sure everything is okay in there. What kind of advice were you given on TTC again? I know many people are told to wait a few cycles and some are told there is no reason to wait. I am just trying to weigh my options here. I don't want to do this again, so if it endangers the baby, we will definately TTA.

[taraw]

ajlanden, I am very sorry for loss. I miscarried naturally at 8 weeks. I was told to wait 2-3 cycles before trying again.

Well ladies, I cannot believe it but I got a BFP! I am very excited and at the same time very worried. My doc put my on Progesterone for the first 12 weeks so hopefully this one will stick!

[LyLMyssChaos]

Oh yay tara!!! I so hope this one sticks for you!! I just know that Addy will be a wonderful big sister!!!

[purplesunshine7]

Hi everyone I am new to this thread. On cd 5 now and waiting. Months seem to go by so fast now that Iam waiting for certain times of the months. It's been 4 months since our lost It really got to me the other day. But I have hope and faith that we will get our little miracle baby. Good luck to all who are trying.




ME: 28
DH: 28
married: april 5, 2003
BFP:May 17,2005
M/c: June 2, 2005
No reason other than God needed a new angel

[jay&erinn]

Taraw: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! Please keep us updated on your progress. Are you going to have an ultrasound or anything else to help ease your mind?

ajlanden: I'm sorry for your loss. Maybe you'd be more comfortable at home for a day or so. I took a couple days off of work each time, just to get the emotional side of me in order. I m/c naturally both times and was told to wait one cycle- one AF after the m/c.

Just hanging out here, waiting for AF next week. I hate this part of the cycle. At least the time after AF leaves and Oing I have something to do;) to be proactive. I hate the waiting.

[purplesunshine7]

Aj: I m/c at 6 weeks naturally, Doc told me to wait at least one cycle, which we did and still trying.

Tara: congrats!!!

[shouldaeloped]

congratulations Tara! we need some good news over here every once in a while!

ajlanden- so sorry for your loss. I found out I was m/c the second time 4 days before my d&c. that was really hard to deal with emotionally. my first one was natural. doesn't matter how it happens, it just plain sucks.

I was told to definitley wait one cycle and she strongly urged us to wait two. it's been 4 and we are still trying.

purplesunshine- I'm sorry for your loss too. glad you came here for support. I kind of think the months are crawling by. . . waiting to O takes forever and then the 2WW is even longer! I sure wish I could make them go faster!

[excitedbride]

AJ I am so sorry for your loss. We were told to wait two cycles after the m/c. I too m/c naturally at 10 1/2weeks.

Tara CONGRATULATION'S! I am so thrilled for you! I was on progesterone for the first trimester with DS.

purple Sorry for your loss as well. I hope you get your baby soon!

[RileyMom]

WOO-HOOO!!! Some good news!! :D Congratulations Tara!! Happy and Healthy 9 months to you and many, many sticky vibes! Please keep checking back with us to let us know how you're doing, okay?

AJ As you know, I had a d&c, so my OB said to wait through two complete cycles. I *think* if you m/c naturally you can try sooner, but I am not sure. To be on the "safe" side, I think I would wait two cylcles, but its a personal choice! Have you had your u/s yet? I have been thinking about you a lot today. :(

Bumble All of us in this thread can completely relate to your "vents." That's why we are here. I get really upset when people discount my m/c, and say things like "well, you can try again." :mad: I wanted THIS BABY, DAMMIT!!! Its like somehow it wasn't a "real" baby b/c it didn't have a name or a face. So, no biggie, just get knocked up again, right? Ugh. I think the people that piss me of the most is the medical community. Do you know that not one single medical professional has uttered the words "I'm sorry for your loss." Not one. I felt like I was just shuffled through the process like I was having any other kind of surgery. No one really acknowledged I lost a baby. No, instead I just had a "fetal demise." The lack of empathy was truly astounding and hurtful. :mad: Boy, I guess I had to get that off my chest!

[ajlanden]

Thanks all! I am sorry I'm not doing individual SO. I really appreciate everyone's condolances. It means a lot coming from those that understand.

From all the "online" research I've done today, it seems that there is no real "medical" reason not to TTC right away. Getting pg right away after m/c does not seem to have any effect on the health of the pgncy (as far as I can tell). Now, I know that their are some emotional reasons to wait, but it just seems strange to me that all the medical research says it is okay, but all our docs tell us to wait. Hmmmmm... Regardless I don't think we are going to "try" this month, but if it happens, I don't want to be stressed about it.

taraw-Thanks for your support here and in the June mommies thread!! I am happy that you are pg again!! I am sending all the sticky vibes I have!

[ajlanden]

Oh, we must of cross posted RileyMom...have my u/s in an hour. Ya, just what I want. I was suppose to be seeing my little babies heartbeat today and instead I am going to see what is still left in there. Wonderful. I'll be glad when it is over.

Thanks for your support here and on LJ. Doctor's suck. They really do.

[bluebunny]

Just coming out of lurkdom to offer support. I suffered a m/c at 11 weeks in my first pregnancy. (My second pregnancy ended in a healthy baby!)

ajlanden, so sorry to hear about your loss. I was told to wait 2-3 cycles after my D&E but the doctor couldn't give me an actual medical reason to wait. We did wait 2 cycles before officially trying again and actually, that time helped me heal emotionally. I think the waiting is more for your mental health than physical.

Congrats taraw! How exciting!

[taraw]

Thanks for all of the congrats ladies. My doctor said that I didn't need to do an ultrasound :( which I was bummed out about. I am just taking the Progesterone and I will go back to see them at the 7 week mark as long as everything seems to be going good.

[RileyMom]

Tara - I'm sorry about no ultrasound. :( However, I am undecided if I will go for an early u/s next time around. I had a total of 3 early u/s this time around (due to some brown spotting, which by the way was probably unrelated to my m/c since I had spotting with DD) and the first two times we saw a strong, healthy heartbeat and all was well. When I went in for that 3rd one, I totally expected to see a heartbeat again, but didn't.

I think actually having seen a healthy heartbeat made the loss worse. I think I would just rather not know. Of course I say that now, and I probably will be begging for an early u/s next time. :rolleyes: Anyway, just my 2 cents. Contrats again!

[gator97]

Hi all, just lurking through this thread. I just had a chemical pregnancy this last cycle. We were only 4.5 weeks along.

My Dr. said that if I asked him to show me in a medical textbook where it said you had to wait 1 cycle (his recommendation) to start trying again, he wouldn't be able to find it. . .. it's just kind of become the norm for doctor's to suggest waiting one cycle after a natural miscarriage. So, he suggested waiting one cycle but said we didn't have to. . .so we aren't.

Hope that helps.

[excitedbride]

Cross posted from my LJ:

I took a test this morning, FRER. I haven't used these ones before. Saw the faintest of lines again. Wasn't sure if I really was seeing anything. Checked back later, (after the three mins), and there definetly is a line. Had DH check, to make sure I am not crazy. lol! I know you can't accuratly read it afer the time limit, but wouldn't an evaporation line be gray? Not pink? And the times I have gotten a BFN, I have never seen an evaporation line in my life.

I don't want to call the Dr. just yet, as I don't want HER to think I am crazy for calling again and having a neg blood test.

Do you think if I test later on today it will get darker? Or be more accurate for me to tell either way. Or should I just wait til tomorrow morning? I think I tested on 11DPO with Wesley.

I would take a pic, but I can't get a clear pic with our camera.


My Dr. isn't in on Fridays, so I don't want to wait til then. And I was paitning our DR last night of course, so now I am paranoid. I was kinda just not thinking that I could be pg while doing it. I am sure I am fine, just paranoid! Anyone have any experiance with the FRER?

[ajlanden]

Excitedbride-I almost always use FRER. I don't know why...I just like them because it is easy to see if the line is getting darker.

Anyway, I have never gotten any hint of line if I was not PG. There is a good chance you are!!!!! I don't think testing again this afternoon will give you any clearer of a pictue. You should probably wait until the morning and test again then call the doc. That being said, I know that if I were in your shoes I would go out and buy a couple different brands and take them all night!!! :D Please keep us posted!!

[ajlanden]

Probably should "officially" join even though I am not sure of our TTC date yet.

ajlanden
Name:Ashley, 28
DH: Doug, 33
Married: June 28, 2005
M/C naturally at 7 weeks
TTC: ASAP (still trying to figure it out!)
DD: Danielle Judith 12-15-04

[shouldaeloped]

cautious congratulations ExcitedBride! I would definitely count that as a BFP and I would absolutely call the doctor!

Please keep us posted!

gator- I have been following your story from the TTC w/ Charting thread. I am so sorry for your loss and glad to see you and DH are trying again quickly. my DH and I never stopped trying after either one of our M/C. that's the only way I can keep the hope alive.

we need some baby dust over here from all the BFP's I have been reading about. anyone care to drop some off????

[excitedbride]

af Well I am certainly tempted to go out and buy other brands! I really like the Answer brand and might pick some of those up.

shouldaeloped Thank you. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much as the same thing happened last cycle.

[rene']

Here's some!

~*~*~*~*~*BABYDUST~*~*~*~*~*

I'm going in to get more bloodwork done today. My RN called yesterday and said that my Doctor wanted me to so that they can make sure my levels are looking good. They are going to go ahead and do the rest of my bloodwork while I am there. I'm really nervous and hoping beyond hope that my levels come back o.k.

[jay&erinn]

excitedbride: I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you:D . I'd wait 1-2 days (an eternity in our books) and test again if you want to be sure. Otherwise, call the doc and get that blood test;) .

taraw: Sorry there's no ultrasound. That stinks. I think it should be standard procedure for anyone that's had a m/c. I had an ultrasound with my first m/c due to spotting and saw a nice strong heartbeat 5 days before. However, it was good to know that something was developing. I didn't have one before my second m/c and they just wanted to tell me that nothing ever really developed- a bunch of crap in my book- I think I've lost both after a heartbeat was present, but of course, can't prove it since there was never an ultrasound the second time around. Will they try and find a heartbeat at your 7 week appt? My doc's office won't even try until 12 weeks:( .

[excitedbride]

Jay I know, 1-2days seems like so long! heehee!
~~~~~~~~~

I had a test calling to me this afternoon. And after drinking water all day and not holding it, I poas and the faint line came up right away. Still hopeful for a darker line tomorrow!:D

[jay&erinn]

excitedbride: Any news?????

[taraw]

Excitedbride, that sounds like great news to me! Did you test again this morning?

I will not be getting an U/S even at my 7 week appt. unless they think something is wrong, they may check for the heartbeat but I am not sure on that. :( My temps have gone down the past couple of days so that kind of has me worried too, plus I haven't had any PG symptoms yet. I wish I wasn't so darn nervous about this!

[jay&erinn]

taraw: Can you call your doc and let them know about your temps? Maybe they can at least start some blood draws to check your levels over the next couple days. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[rene']

taraw ~ I agree. Maybe if you call and tell them that you are worried, they will check your levels to help make you feel more at ease. I think it's worth a shot.

[RileyMom]

Tara I agree with the others. Not to worry you (because I am certain everything is fine) but most doctors will get you in for an early u/s if you have specific concerns (spotting, low temp, etc.) My doctor typically wouldn't have done an u/s until around 19 weeks (:eek: ) but because I had spotting, I ended up with 3 ultrasounds all before I turned 9 weeks! I would definitely call them for peace of mind. Tell them the ladies of CC will be on their case if they don't get you in! ;) Sending loads of sticky vibes to you....try to keep the faith.

[excitedbride]

Tara Just wanted to chime in that I agree with the other ladies, maybe telling them you are worried, they can at least check your levels.
~~~~~~~~~

Took two more tests this morning, Answer and FRER. Both still faint +. I am excited, but not too excited. Not til I hear the results of my bloodwork. Which I should get back today, they ordered them stat.

[shouldaeloped]

it looks like we need updates from Taraw and ExcitedBride.

Taraw- did you get the doctor to agree to an u/s?

Excitedbride- did you get your bloodwork back yet?

[excitedbride]

I haven't gotten my bloodwork back. They said they will probably get it today, but my Dr. has to review it first, and she isn't in today. So I will hear from them on Monday.

I do have this though:D...

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce26b3127cce9423a95a5c8200000016108AZNm7Rw1aNK

[papergirl]

I am hanging out here on CD16. Next weekend I should be O’ing. I normally have 36 day cycles but last cycle was 42 days. :( It’s so frustrating but I determined to stay calm, relax and just be in the moment.

OCDwife – Thanks for commenting on my vent. A few months back I was having drinks with my group of girlfriends that I see very few months. I was finally ready to mention my m/c (we never told anyone I was pregnant) when one of the girls shares with us she is pregnant. In that moment I felt a pang of anger and then I felt worse for feeling upset. Took me a few days to get over but I’m fine now (until the next one has a happy baby announcement).

Excitedbride – Can I say congratulations yet? I am so happy to see some good news in here. You are in my thoughts.

Jay+Erinn – Thanks for listening and commenting. It always makes me feel better to hear other people talk about their frustration. TTC, we’ve been at it since April. I know it’s not all that long. I was *lucky* in that we got pregnant on our first try. I had the m/c at 8 weeks and since then I have had 4 unsuccessful cycles. Again, I know it’s not that long but since I got pregnant so easy on the first try I was really thinking it would happen again within 4 months tops. Not the case.

Purplesunshine – Welcome. I also m/c’d in June. Good luck on your journey.

RileyMom – I get really upset when people discount my m/c, and say things like "well, you can try again." I wanted THIS BABY, DAMMIT!!!

Ditto!

not one single medical professional has uttered the words "I'm sorry for your loss." Not one.

Ditto again!

Bluebunny – It just melts my heart when I hear about moms who m/c and then go on to have a healthy pregnancy with the next baby. Congratulations!


My vent of the week:

I was actually at the doctors this week for a foot injury I got on vacation. So the nurse tells me I have high blood pressure. Umm, I didn’t this summer but OK. They seemed shocked that I made this claim and it almost appeared like they were questioning what type of doctor I was seeing. I then have to go into explaining that I was pregnant earlier in the year and had a m/c. Before the m/c I saw they OB/GYN 4 times, the last time in June, and never once was I told I had high blood pressure.

Two things happened: (1) no one said they were sorry for my loss, which surprised me. I almost understand it to some extent. How does she know I wanted that baby BUT she went on to ask me if we were TTC now and I said yes so you’d think she knew (2) the doctor randomly said “well you have high blood pressure and that may be they cause of your m/c.” Whoo! I was not intending to hear that when I was in your office for a hurt foot! Generally I would really like some information on why I m/c but I have never seen this doctor before, she knows nothing of my medical past and was not looking at my records. So to say this after not asking me any questions about the m/c seems presumptuous but thanks for letting me know it’s all my fault cause I have high blood pressure.

Is anyone close to testing? Good luck if you are. Hopefully in the near future we'll have some additional good news. :)

[shouldaeloped]

excitedbride. . . . does that mean you are officially calling it? becuase I have a huge congratulations-need-to-celebrate-for-someone-else inside of me and it's fighting to get out! so please tell me I can officially celebrate for you!

who ever thought we would have to be this cautious and nervous even after seeing a BFP on the digital. that should indicate immediate celebration! this after a loss thing is a b*tch!

I'm on 7DPO and just hanging out. trying not to read anything into anything since you can never really tell. both of my short lived pregnancies had different early symptoms so I won't test until AF is officially late. . next Friday.

bumble- I'm sorry you keep running into crappy medical professionals. they really should know better. unless you've been through this yourself, I don't think you have any clue how to act. . . maybe they should be given a pass for ignorance and stupidity.

I need official confirmation to celebrate for you Excitedbride . .

ETA- that is a beautiful picture! music to my ears. . .

[jay&erinn]

excitedbride: No wondering if a line is a line on that test:D I'll say it- CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Let us know what the doc says on Monday. That stinks that they won't give you the results before then. Isn't there another doc there that can look at it?

shouldaeloped: I'm about the same point in my cycle you are. AF is due Wednesday. I'd be surprised if I were pregnant though. I usually get some type of pain (like ligament pain) as things start to stretch out initially. Haven't had any of that, so I'm probably out. If AF doesn't show by next weekend, I'll probably break down and buy a test. If I could just forget about it until then:rolleyes:

bumble: I think 4 months is a very long time after a m/c (too me anyway). Too bad my opinion doesn't hold water in the medical community:p . I think even 2 months is too many once you've had a m/c. It should be automatic, you lose a baby, you get pregnant right away- no questions asked.

Taraw: Any news????????

We're going to Erie for my cousin's little girl's 2nd birthday. She just had her 2nd baby 3 weeks ago. I'm excited to meet him- I'm his godmother, but sad for us. I think seeing him (the first newborn I'll be around since either m/c) will be a little hard- almost like it's going to hit home what I'm really missing. After all, my baby should be 3 months older than he is.

[shouldaeloped]

I just needed to add very quickly that I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with this:

It should be automatic, you lose a baby, you get pregnant right away- no questions asked.

you couldn't have said it any better jay&erinn. it should be automatic.

sigh.

[excitedbride]

Thank you all! Yes you can officially say it! I am calling it!:D

I will come back and catch up! And will definetly be back when I hear from my Dr.! I wish the other Dr.s could look at the results!

[shouldaeloped]

CONGRATULATIONS EXCITEDBRIDE!

hoping you have a happy, healthy and uneventful 9 months!

please keep us posted on how you are doing. . .

I am celebrating with you from afar. . .

[ajlanden]

Congrats Excitedbride!! Can't wait to hear your good news on Monday!!

[JAYLIN]

Congratulations Excitedbride!!!!! I ditto what others have said, it really is nice to have good news around here!

Also Congrats to TaraW!!!! Maybe this will be the start of our good luck for our thread!

I think I M/C the same time as TaraW so I'm really hoping this will be my month.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well I think I'm Oing now, the CM looks good, but who knows......maybe I'm not Oing at all! Anyway I'm starting to stock up on my HPTs....boy I love Ebay! I think the testing will begin next Sat. that would put me at CD26, my last cycle was 41days, so I'm hoping for a normal one this month.

I also have my doc appt on the 21st, she is sending me for bloodwork to test some things....I have no idea what. And she is sending me for a pelvic ultrasound (on the 28th) don't know what that shows either.

But I'm really hoping all this won't be necessary because it would be wonderful if I can go there to tell her I'm preg instead!!!!!

Like TARAW I know she said she will put me on progesterone as soon as I get preg again, so I'm anxious to find out from Tara how it's going.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!

[purplesunshine7]

hi everyone I just thought I would check up on everyone. I hope everyone gets the good news this month and congrats to all those who have all ready. As for me I am on cd9 and just waiting. Good luck and baby dust to all.

[LyLMyssChaos]

Ya know?? I have good vibes for the mommies that PG over the next few months....that means you will be having July/August/September babies and that is a VERY good time to have a baby, right Tara??? :D LOL

Congratulations to all the newly expecting mommies!! May you have totally uneventful pregnancies and healthy babies!
*~*~*~*STICKY DUST*~*~*~*

I will probably be scarce in this section over the next week or so, we are quickly approaching what would have been our Angel Baby's 1st Birthday and my best friend (LDS Angel) EDD on Saturday, so I'm not sure how much computer time I'll feel like, but especially as I'm grieving now, you will all most definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care of yourselves ladies and I look forward to lots more good news when I return!

[papergirl]

how fabulous to have all this great news in here! i really hope this is a trend. so i ask, who's next? :)


curious, how long has everyone been TTC post m/c? if you have gotten a BFP, how many cycles past the m/c did it take?

i had my m/c in early june. i have had four cycles since with no success. we started trying right away and did not wait. i am currently on cycle 5. i hope this is it.

[shouldaeloped]

bumble- I hope this is it for you too!!

after my first m/c, i got a BFP 3 cycles later. m/c again in june and am still trying- am now on cycle 4 and still no luck.

i have always been told that you are the most fertile right after a m/c. who knows though. . doesn't seem that way this time around. .

hoping to hear a BFP from you soon!

[purplesunshine7]

Well I was talking with my co worker tonight about m/c and now it is on my mind and driving me nuts. I was due on dh birthday and it is getting closer and I am a bit nervous on how we will handle the day. My grandmother passed away on my birthday and well that day has never been the same. I want to celebrate his birthday with him but I know it will be lurking around in our minds. gosh I don't want to cry on his birthday or have him comfort me on that day. I just feel like I have ruined his birthday for the rest of his life. :( he isn't open with his feelings and I doubt that he will even say anything about it. I feel like the only way to make that day better is to be pg by that day. well I have 3 more months so I hope it is my fate. everyone keeps telling me to stop trying and it will happen. so I try to pretent we're not trying but lets face it I am counting the days between each phase of my cycle. well thanks for listening to me vent and I am sorry to bring anyone down especialy with all the good news in this room.

[Ericka_Jarett]

Congrats ExcitedBride

HI everyone, just checking in quick. I am in the 2 WW. Things are going ok, planning our December FL trip and getting ideas flowing for VBS next Summer. Waiting to schedule the date until I see when I am pregnant (so I know my EDD and don't plan it so close)

[taraw]

Hi Gals. Sorry I haven't checked in for a few days. I have been crazy busy with work. My temp has stayed about the same and so I am feeling okay about it. Still no cramping or bleeding and I am continuing to take the Progesterone. I am feeling great, I haven't had any PG symptoms yet. I am just hanging in there until my first Dr. apt. which is in a couple of weeks.

[ajlanden]

purplesunshineTons and tons of ~hugs~ coming your way...don't have any advice...just vent away...you can be sad here...

Great news taraw!!!!

I went to the doc today to do another blood test to make sure everything was going down. Well, my betas were 2400 last Monday and 3200 this Monday... I have been bleeding for 8 days now. Obviously, the numbers aren't good, but they are still going up. I am going in to see the doc tomorrow and I know they will mention doing a D&C because they are afraid that I am getting anemic from all the bleeding. It just seems so scary to me. Can someone share with me about the procedure and the healing afterwards (both physically and emotionally). I wish my body would just take care of it, but it hasn't so far. :(

[shouldaeloped]

aj- I've had two miscarriages, one natural and one d&c. there are ups and downs to both. with my d&c, I knew when it was going to happen, I was completely drugged up so I had no idea what was happening and I felt nothing. I bled on and off and pretty lightly for 3 - 5 days and it was done. the hardest part for me, was feeling like I made a choice.

with a natural miscarriage, you know it's done and gone, there is nothing you can do and you physically experience the loss. it doesn't leave any question and I felt I healed emotionally quicker from the natural m/c. mine was in the ER and was very painful (basically labor from what I was told) and very draining. it didn't take days like it sounds like you are going through.

with the d&c, it was quicker and cleaner (for lack of a better word) and definitely less painful, but the emotional part was very hard for me. what if the doctor was wrong? should I have waited longer? did I choose to end this pregnancy? what if this was my last chance and I just lost it? I had a much harder time making my peace with the second. maybe it was the d&c? maybe it was the 2nd m/c. not sure I'll ever know the answer to that one.

If you already know the pg is over, having the d&c might help you to move on quicker. . . give you back your body quicker and allow you to get back to TTC quicker. I think each case is very different. I think the choice is totally up to you as it's very personal. I don't know if any of that helped but I hope so. I came here to make my decision and the honest answers were the best.

good luck to you and I hope you get the answers you need tomorrow.

[excitedbride]

Bumble I can't believe that Dr. would say that to you about high blood pressure. I think some people just don't think before they talk. I hope your foot is better.

Shouldaeloped You are so sweet! I know, who would have thought we would be like that even with a digital?
I can't wait for you to test!

Jan&Erinn I hope you had a good time this weekend and it wasn't too hard on you.

Ajlanden Thank you! I think that is the biggest congratulation's I have ever gotten! heehee!:D

I am sorry, I hope you get some answers when you see your Dr., I m/c naturally so I don't know how the procedure is for a d&c. Not sure emoitionally if it is the same. It is very hard, but as time goes on it does get better. (((((HUGS)))))

Jaylin Thank you. I just hope the positive news gives you all some peace of mind and some hope.:)

Good luck to you this cycle! I don't know why I didn't think of ebay to buy HPT's.

purplesunshine7 Thank you. And good luck to you too! Try not to be too hard on yourself. I do understand how you feel, as I m/c on my DS first birthday weekend. So I have that reminder. I know as time goes on it will get better. And here is to all the good luck that you will be pg by the time his birthday comes around!:D

Lylmysschoas Don't forget about June!;) Thank you! I will be thinking of you. Take all the time away you need.

Bumble We were told to wait two cycles, so we did. But it was more like three if you count the m/c cycle. When we started trying it took us two cycles. I was on clomid also.

Ericka Jarett Thank you! Good luck! I can't wait for you to test!

Taraw I hope I congratulated you! If not CONGRATULATION'S!:D
~~~~~~~~~

I talked to the nurse today at my Dr.s office. She said my progesterone was excellent at 29.7! She said the Dr. wants me to keep taking the progesterone as a precautionary and to get it tested again next week. I told her that I took the progesterone when I found out I was pg, and she said that probably helped my level be so high. I had my bloodwork done the day after I found out I was pg, so I had only taken one dose. I have appt. this Thursday with my Dr.! I am just so happy!:D

[jay&erinn]

I am just so happy!
This brought tears to my eyes. I can almost hear the excitement in your post. It's so wonderful to hear you so happy. Hopefully we'll all feel the same way very soon.

aj: I'm sorry you're having to make such a difficult choice. I wish I could offer some advice, but I m/c'd naturally both times. I do know that time does make it better.

taraw: congrats! I'm very happy things are progressing well. When's your first appt?

Ericka: When are you testing? I hate the 2ww.

purpleshine: We all can relate to the pressure of getting pregnant before our due date. I'm sure it makes it even harder that it should be a happy time with your DH's b-day. Feel free to vent away. {{{HUGS}}}

bumble: It took us 7 cycles (1 month off and 6 of TTC) to get pregnant after the first m/c. We're into our 3rd month this time around (one month off after the second m/c and AF is due any day- this is our 2nd cycle of TTC). I hope this is it for both of us.

[RileyMom]

Wow, I don't think I have seen this thread have so much action!! :D I haven't been on since last Thursday, partly because I have really s--l--o--w dial-up at home and also because the last time I tried to log in from home, CC asked me for my password before I could log in, which of course I have forgotten. So I can log in, but not post from home until I get that rectified. So anyway, here I am finally catching up!

Excitedbride I think we need to change your screen name to excitedmom-to-be!! I am soooo incredibly happy for you. I actually got goosebumps reading your last update! Please keep coming back here and keeping us updated, it is so nice to live vicariously through you right now!

Tara It can seem like an eternity waiting for that first doctors appointment. I know that I will be beside myself with anticipation. Remember just take one day at a time.....sounds like you are doing great!! Thanks for updating us.

Bumble
Tthe insensitivity of MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS is truly unexcusable (in my book). I really think there ought to be some sort of sensitivity training. WTF is up with telling someone that their high blood pressure caused their baby to die? Especially when you came in with a hurt foot? Okay, *maybe* we can understand that they do not deal with m/c because they are not an OB' s office so they are completely ignorant. But if that is the case, WTH are they doing making guesses on why someone's baby died? Shut the hell up if you don't know what you are talking about!! :mad:

Purplesunshine Huge {{{HUGS}}} to you. While I cannot say I understand *exactly* how you feel, I can somewhat emphathize. I was due on my nephew's 1st birthday. My SIL and I had talked about how fun it would be to combine birthday parties etc. Now when I go to his 1st birthday party, I am going to be miserable. I actually do not want to go (I know how incredibly selfish that sounds, but I think you all understand.) Of course I will go, but its going to be hard not thinking that I should be celebrating my babies birth. :(

Ajlanden I have never m/c naturally, so I can only share my experience with a d&c. I think shouldaelopedsummed it up perfectly. There are definitely pros and cons. The con was that I felt like I was going in to have an abortion (which I was.) That made it *my* choice. Like shouldaeloped said, "what if the doctor was wrong?" We know that sometimes they are, what if I am aborting a healthy baby? Of course the chances of that happening are nearly impossible, but the fact that you are purposely aborting your child makes you second guess yourself. Also, you are having surgery, and that in and of itself is scary.

The pros were that I did not have to wait to m/c on my own. In my case, my body was showing *NO* signs of m/c on its own. My numbers were still high, baby was firmly attached to the uterus, etc. The only signal was that the heart had stopped beating. It could have been weeks before I m/c. I simply could not deal with that torture. When would it have happened? While I was at work? I am a trainer, so I could envision myself in the middle of teaching a class and all of a sudden start to have cramps, etc and have to run to the bathroom at work to m/c. This way, it was over with and done with and I could move on. Also, I had minimal bleeding after the d&c, maybe 4 days of very light spotting. With a natural m/c, it can be very painful and you bleed a lot (from what I understand.) All that being said, if I were showing signs of m/c, I would have waited it out. I definitely think you should talk over your situation with your doctor. I pray that you will come up with a decision that meets your physcial as well as emotional needs. {{{hugs}}} to you.

Sorry if I have left anyone out - got to get to work at some point today. :)

[Ericka_Jarett]

Hi all,

I will be testing probably on the 22nd, as that will put me at DPO 14. I am presently DPO 3, CD 25. My cycles have been CD 33-34, DPO 11. Hubby really hopes that it's this month, he was really trying to make sure we got it right, even said that he hopes that the boys did their job and got me knocked up (hehe). Will have a late June baby if so and that makes me happy. Will keep you all updated.

Been having slight cramps all morning and a little yesterday as well.

Chart (http://www2.fertilityfriend.com/home/22964)

[LDS Angel 19]

Sorry I am a horrible threadmistress these days ladies, but it looks like you've been doing a good job keeping it going on your own. I hope everyone is well and the TTC'ers get the news they are hoping for soon.

[shouldaeloped]

ericka- I'll be sending good thoughts your way. we need some more bfp's in this part of the world.

I do have a question for those of you that have been pg after a m/c. does your body feel different? seems like everytime I'm in the 2ww it's been different. last month, I thought my bb's were going to fall off and my temps steadily declined from 8DPO. month before that, I had every pg sign in the book. this month, my temp just went back up, no sore bb's and light cramping that just started today at 11DPO. just seems odd that my body doesn't act the same. and it's all different from before I ever got pg.

I'm on cycle 5 this month and not holding out hope. just doesn't feel right. is it too much to ask to be pg by the time I found I was pregnant the first time????? I gotta say, I am really ready for 2005 to be over. 2006 has to be a better year.

[RileyMom]

Okay, so much for me getting to work today. ;) Shouldaeloped, I am probably not qualified to answer, since I have not been pg after a m/c yet. But I can tell you that my second pregnancy felt TOTALLY different than the one with my daughter. I don't know if it was because it wasn't a healthy pregnancy, or if it is normal to have the second pregnancy feel different. I don't know if I will ever get the anwser to that question.

The big thing for me was that with my DD, my boobs were so sore by like 11dpo, they felt like if you touched them they were on fire. It was incredible how sore they were. With this pregnancy, even though I had nausea (and vomiting) fatigue, etc. I had NO sore boobs. That worried me a lot, but I kept reasoning that I had all the other symptoms so not to worry. I had also heard that because I had breastfed my DD for 2 years, by boobs were "accustomed" to the hormone surge, so they wouldn't be sore this time. Who knows. I do know that if I don't get sore boobs with my next pregnancy, I will probably panic (even though I am sure that didn't mean anything in terms of my m/c....)

[shouldaeloped]

thanks rileymom- any comments and thoughts are appreciated. I have practically given up on trying to figure it out. NOTHING was the same in my two pregnancies so I don't know why I am looking for a common denominator. wishful thinking I suppose.

my DH is getting very anxious and antsy now and that is making this even harder. It was a little easier when he was distracted. I just want to be able to give him a DD or DS that he so deserves.

wow. . I am awfully whiney today. gotta snap myself out of this one. .

[ajlanden]

ericka-I am sending all the postive thoughts I can your way!

shouldaeloped-Thanks for your answers on the D&C vs. natural. We will see what the doc says in an hour. I could've written Rileymom's post...I think that it would be wonderful if there were some common denominators, but I really don't think there are. Every pregnancy is different...I wish this were all easy. I am hoping for you!
I just want to be able to give him a DD or DS that he so deserves.
Ugghh! I KNOW!

RileyMom-Thanks, as always. I feel like you are always giving me support, when you probably don't want to be. I appreciate it!

[excitedbride]

Jan&erinn Thank you. And I truly hope everyone here will feel the same way very soon!

Rileymom Thank you! I will definetly update in here!

[RileyMom]

RileyMom-Thanks, as always. I feel like you are always giving me support, when you probably don't want to be. I appreciate it!

Awww...you are welcome. :) And I don't mind one bit. It helps me to talk about my experience, so in a way its is therapeautic for me too.

[Jenzen01]

Hello, all.

I just miscarried this weekend, and I'm looking for a little support ... I hope this is the right place.

I already have one DS who is 9 months old, and I'm still BFing him. I was 8 weeks along when we found out the second pregnancy was ending. I had light spotting last Thursday, went in for an ultrasound, and no heartbeat was found. The baby had stopped developing about a week ago. My hcg levels were 40,000 on Thursday, which the dr. said was pretty high, and 18,000 yesterday. I miscarried over the weekend, which was pretty painful. I'm still bleeding, but I think I'm past the worst, physically speaking.

Still feel very raw emotionally.

The dr. recommended that we wait until after the end of the year to try again. He said something about time for emotional healing ... what type of advice have you received?

Also, I would like to wait until I'm done BFing. I think my body was just overworked.

Jen

[shouldaeloped]

Jen- I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. this is definitely the right place to be for both advice, questions, support. . you name it.

regarding how long to wait, between one and three cycles has been the most common answer around here. depends on your doctor really. I think it's safe to try after one cycle but if you are BFing, you might want to wait longer. I don't have any knowledge in that area but you know your body best.

I hope you are feeling better soon. . . and tons of hugs your way.

[excitedbride]

Jenzen01 I am so very sorry for your loss. Many ((((HUGS))))). I was told to wait two cycles. I too m/c naturally, so technically it was three if you count the m/c cycle. I was also b/f at the time too.

[Ericka_Jarett]

Jenzen, Sorry to have you join the group, you will find lots of support here though. I didn't have a m/c so can't answer that respect of your questions. Do take time to mourn your loss if you feel the need.

I know after my infant loss I talked to the doctor at a 2 week follow-up and she told me to wait 2-3 months. When I went and saw the other doctor at my 4 week follow-up she said to wait 2-3 months mostly for my body to recover and also for the emotional side of the loss. I told her that I want to try ASAP, not to replace the baby, but because I had to. She said that's fine, I know you won't try to replace your daughter just to wait until June if possible though for my physical healing. My next appt is December 1st which is 6 months from the go ahead to ttc again. If not pregnant by than she wants to look into meds. I know it's God's timing though, so waiting on Him to say now.

[ajlanden]

Jenzen-Boy, I feel for you...my DD is almost 10 months. I am going through many of the same questions as you are. My doc said wait 1 cycle...which we will. I hope your bleeding ends soon!!! Hugs to you!

As for me, I went through one of the saddest most awful things in my life yesterday. I'll spare the gory details, but here is the basics...

I went to the doc because my betas were still rising altough not by much. I have been bleeding heavily for 10 days now. He decided to do an vag exam...not what you want to do when you are gushing blood. When he got in there, he bascially got really frantic and told me I was miscarrying right then. He ended up getting "most" of it out. Horrible...I sobbed like a baby. DH was there to hold my hand though.

The good news is that I feel strangely better. After handing in limbo for so long, I think it is just nice to know it is finally over. The bad news is that he said my bleeding should substantially decrease today. So far still lots of blood. He wanted me to come back in today if there was still heavy bleeding. I can't...I just can't go there today... so I won't. I know I should listen to the doc, but I can't face another episode like yesterday.

[RileyMom]

Ajlanden {{{Hugs}} to you. I don't blame you *at all* for not wanting to go back there right now. I would feel the exact same way. Just a note of caution though, it is possible to have an incomplete m/c where your body does not pass everything. Please do go back to the doc asap to be checked out. I hesitate to warn you about this right now, because I know you are going through a horrible time. I hope I am not overstepping my bounds.

Again, {{{hugs}}} to you. I pray your body continues to m/c rapidly and completely. :(

[RileyMom]

Jenzen Very sad welcome to you. I hope your ttc journey is short and you will find the peace and support you need here.

[Jenzen01]

ajlanden - I remember you from the WC board. You are a December mommy, right? Gabe was actually born in December, too. I had him about three weeks before my due date, so he's on the verge of 10 months, as well.

I'm still bleeding today. It's just like a period, but I'm wondering when this will slow down. I've been bleeding for three days now at the same rate. I was just spotting pretty good before that. I passed the biggest clot of my life on Sunday night, which I'm assuming was the baby/sac/etc. Yuck.

I never knew that the actual miscarriage would feel like labor. The pain woke me up on Sunday night, and it lasted for about an hour, which is when I started the actual bleeding. I didn't believe the dr. when he said I might need some pain medication.

I'm feeling better with each day. It's getting easier, because now I don't "feel" pregnant, but I still am so saddened by what happened. I was keeping track of my pregnancy on my work calendar, and today should have been my 9-week mark. I stopped tracking things the day I started spotting, and it's a sad reminder to look at my calendar each day and see how I was marking the weeks off.

We had just received a used double-stroller from a friend, and I had to have DH put it away for now. Couldn't stand looking at it.

ttfn,
Jen

[ajlanden]

Jen-I remember you too. I am sorry we had to meet again like this. :mad: I don't have words to express how sorry I am...because I know how you are feeling.

Rileymom-Thanks for posting that...I think that is what I needed someone to tell me. I called and am going in at 3:50. I starting to feel not so hot...lightheaded and woozy. My boss told me I am really pale. I am sure all this bleeding can't be good for me. I need to take care of myself. Thanks for waking me up.

[shouldaeloped]

Hi everyone.

Just wanted to share the news that I got a BFP last night and this morning! we are very cautious at this point for several reasons- of course the main one is that both of my previous pregnancies ended in M/C as you all already know and I am terrified. trying to keep my thougths positive but I also have little to zero symptoms which of course makes me double nervous. it's very early, I am 1 day late, have mild cramping and frequent urination but no sore bb's, no nausea, I'm really not even that tired. so please send some sticky thoughts this way!

my doc appointment is set for october 25th so I have a ways to wait.

so. . . other than all of that. .. we are VERY EXCITED!!!!!

thanks for the reminder RileyMom to get over here. I'm trying to get a little work done today so am having to do one post at a time!

[papergirl]

I love all this good news in here.

Congratulations shouldaeloped. I am thinking of you and hope that this pregnancy will be a smooth road filled with happiness and much health! Yay!!

Jenzen, I’m sorry you had to join us but I hope you find comfort in knowing that we are here. When you decide to try again I wish you all the best and hope it’s a short journey. After my m/c I bleed for almost two weeks, most of which was heavy. During that time I had a light day or two and then more blood would come.

***

As for me, I am on CD21. I have long cycles but normally O’d around CD 24. Least cycle I O’d on CD28 so I know it’s coming but not sure when. I have had SO much CM this entire cycle that I’m not really relying on it to tell me much. It’s so heavey that if I was using it this cycle as an indicator to BD we’d have been doing it a week ago. I am mostly using OPK’s and not + yet. So I’m just being patient and haven’t really been all that excited. Last cycle put me in so much of a funk and I haven’t really bounced back completely.

All the best to anyone who’s time is coming up. I’ll say it again (cause maybe it worked with all the BFP’s we’re getting) Go sperm! Get ready eggs! Happy BD and conception. *sprinkle sprinkle baby dust*

[RileyMom]

I already said it once, but this is worth repeating:

CONGRATULATIONS shouldaeloped!!!!

[papergirl]

lds angel feel free to strangle me if i'm being a pain but do you think we can update the stats on page one to include the stats on our graduates who are now pregnant? Of course, only when they are ready to have the information out there but I think it would be nice to have some "happy" news listed with the sad stuff. Maybe ladies could list the month they concieved with the new expected due date?

I just know it makes me feel great to see that good things eventually come our ways.

[shouldaeloped]

thanks bumble and rileymom. very cautious but very excited.

I have to say that this thread and the ladies who have shared this experience are complete lifesavers and I think I would have gone off the deepend without it.

~*~*~* BABY DUST *~*~*~

Here's to a ton more!

bumble- great idea on updating the thread. I feel very comfortable posting here since it's where I will come if something happens anyway! so if we do get to updating. .

BFP- October 12, 2005
EDD- June 21, 2005

[excitedbride]

CONGRATULATION'S Shouldaeloped!:D

BFP on 10/05/05
EDD 06/18/06

[LyLMyssChaos]

I'll pass on the message to LDS, she probably will be scarce here until next week I'm thinking (at least in this thread, as her EDD is Saturday) but we are going to the cemetary together on Saturday,and we are going to a Pistons game tomorrow so I will tell her to make sure to stop by when she gets a chance to.

Congrats to all the graduates.

~*~*~*STICKY DUST*~*~*~

[ajlanden]

Great news shoudaeloped! Major ~sticky vibes~ to you! How very exciting!

[Jenzen01]

I guess I should post my stats:

Me: Jen, 28
DH: Al, 37
DS: Gabe, born 12.21.04
Married: 10.4.03
Miscarred: 8 weeks, naturally, Oct. 2005
TTC: probably end of the 2005

[LDS Angel 19]

Hi Ladies- Like I said, I'm sorry I suck as threadmistress. I wanted to let you all know that I think someone else should take over this thread. (You'll have to start a new one). I don't post here much, I have another thread. This thread has recently sort of been geared towards people who have had miscarriages, and I can't really relate to that. So, I really really don't want to hurt anyones feelings, I know that misscarriages count and are very sad also, just very diffrent from what I've gone through.

Aghh. Breathe Michelle, Breathe.

All I'm trying to say is I can't keep up with this thread anymore. I think it would be wonderful if someone else could step up and start a new one. A fresh start for everyone.

[jay&erinn]

LDS Angel 19: Don't feel bad for what you're going through. I don't know much about computers, so I'm not one to lead up a group. You'll be in my thoughts this weekend.

Jenzen: I'm sorry for your loss. Take time to heal. My doc recommended one cycle of avoiding and then TTC again whenever we wanted.

shouldaeloped:CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! Lots of sticky dust your way!!!

I'm still waiting on AF to arrive. She was due to show up today (CD 28), but so far there's nothing. I don't chart, so I could have just O'd later than normal and be getting my hopes up for nothing. We're going away this weekend, and I'm trying to decide if I should test before we go, or wait until we come back (at least if she's not here by Monday, I'll be pretty sure about the results). Of course, my body could just be playing a cruel joke on me and be out of wack from the m/c still.

[ajlanden]

LDS-I totally understand...don't feel bad. You need to do what you need to do. Get support where you need it. I am totally cheering for you and thinking of you!!!

Jen-Weird, my bf is named Jen and has a huband named Al. They are about your ages too!!!

jay&erinn-Hope you get answers soon!!!

[RileyMom]

Jay&Erinn I'm so keeping my fingers crossed for you! We are on a roll here this month! IIRC, the fall is generally a fertile time for most women, has anyone else heard that? We conceived DD in October and at the time I was part of a TTC thread over on WC. We had an ONSLAUGHT of bfps that month. It was incredible. Too bad we aren't ready to ttc yet. *sigh*

My opinion on the whole threadmistress thing (and LDS, don't feel bad for ONE SINGLE MINUTE about not wanting/needing to be a part of this thread. I for one, completely understand.) I really don't think we need one. I would much rather have this place be a more casual drop-in for support type of place than an offical group with members. I have never even posted my stats here (didn't even think of it, really). I just don't think its important to post the date of my m/c, d&c, how long I've been TTC, etc. Its just not stuff I care to advertise to the world (and I know we have some lurkers on here who are not survivors of m/c that lurk out of curiousity.) Anway, that's just my opinion. I know others feel differently and posting personal info on the first page makes it more personal. Anyway, that's my take, but everyone is different!

[LyLMyssChaos]

Jay&Erinn I'm so keeping my fingers crossed for you! We are on a roll here this month! IIRC, the fall is generally a fertile time for most women, has anyone else heard that? We conceived DD in October and at the time I was part of a TTC thread over on WC. We had an ONSLAUGHT of bfps that month. It was incredible. Too bad we aren't ready to ttc yet. *sigh*


Oh my goodness, it was crazy, it was the fall that spawned the June/July/August/September 2003 thread. There were sooo many babies then!! Perhaps the luck will rub off onto you ladies and you will have the same success in a J/A/S 2006 thread?? :)

[papergirl]

I personally would like to see stats (for those who want to list them). I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to post them and respect people who prefer not to. In general, I don’t talk about my m/c online or in my personal life all that much (besides here of course). I’m not a private person but this was just a really private matter for me and it’s one that I am not comfortable speaking about freely in most settings. However, when I had my m/c we had not told anyone I was pregnant. I felt lost and alone. Eventually I found this thread on WC and lurked. I found so much comfort in reading along and just knowing there were other ladies out there feeling and going through what I was experiencing. I had so many questions but at the time I was still too shy to come out and I didn’t know if asking some of my questions would be acceptable. A lot of my questions, which I still find myself curious about, where did these woman before me go on to have healthy pregnancies? How long did it take? And did they have other m/c? A lot of times (from what I have seen) people who do go on to get pregnant and have a baby move on and don’t visit the “loss” thread. I know that they are in another place with their lives but most of my thoughts of wonderment were about them because I’m trying to achieve what they have. I think the stats are a way for us to have that information, which for some of us provides a lot of hope. But again, I don’t want anyone to feel obligated post the information if it makes them uncomfortable.

I don’t want to be a threadmaster. I feel selfish saying this but I just don’t want or need more reasons to spend time online in message boards. Also, when I get pregnant (positive thinking!) I will eventually be busy with other things and not come in here as much… so then there’d be the task of finding someone else. However, I would be willing to step up to the plate if enough girls want to see additional stats listed.

RileyMom: I wanted to thank you for all the insightful things you posted in the Parenting Tread on "FF from the start." I appreciate you sincerity and honesty which I am sure makes you an amazing mother. And thank you for taking the time and patients to go back (over and over) to explain yourself.

[RileyMom]

RileyMom: I wanted to thank you for all the insightful things you posted in the Parenting Tread on FF from the start. I appreciate you sincerity and honesty which I am sure makes you an amazing mother. And thank you for taking the time and patients to go back (over and over) to explain yourself.

Thanks so much, Bumble. That is sweet of you to say. The thing is, I used to *be* one of those people who were ummm...very much lactivists and thought I owned the world because I breastfed. :eek: (okay, I was not as bad as I am making it sound, but I definitely did not appreciate or understand why someone would ff.) I'd like to think I have grown a lot as a mother and have learned compassion for many different mothering styles and realize how personal so much of this is. As I mentioned, dealing with a toddler makes you humble. ;)

I agree with what you are saying. If people want to post stats, they should be able to. And it is nice to see successes. Normally, I am the first to post my stats in group type threads, but this one is different, somehow. I don't know why.

LMC Ahhh, memories, eh? :)

[papergirl]

RileyMom

The thing is, I used to *be* one of those people who were ummm...very much lactivists and thought I owned the world because I breastfed. (okay, I was not as bad as I am making it sound, but I definitely did not appreciate or understand why someone would ff.) I'd like to think I have grown a lot as a mother and have learned compassion for many different mothering styles and realize how personal so much of this is.

But that's the thing, I think most of us are the same way it just might be in other areas of our lives. I don't have a baby so I have no personal experience with the BF/FF life. However, I have strong feelings on a lot of things. I have stood on a stoop and screamed my cause. But then life happens and I grow as a person. This includes learing that there is not one way to do things in life. There are many ways, many roads and each of us take our own journey which might be different and that's OK. So many people don't *get* that and I often wonder why I spend so much time in message boards where everyone is screaming there is only one way. And then I read posts like yours and it reminds me that I come here because there are some good souls. It makes me feel great and I was SO proud of you. So THANK YOU!

[RileyMom]

This includes learing that there is not one way to do things in life. There are many ways, many roads and each of us take our own journey which might be different and that's OK.

Well said. (and thanks again for the kudos. It made my day.) :) Life is funny sometimes, each path we embark upon teaches us so much, sometimes unexpectedly.

Even my m/c, as awful as it was, has taught me a few things -- about strength and finding courage I didn't think I had, the value of friendship, appreciating the little things in life, and about hope. :) Each challenge we face has a lesson in there, I think. We just need to pay attention to it. (Boy, I sound like I ought to be up on a pulpit, huh? ;) )

[ruby]

congrats shouldaeloped!!!!! we probably conceived around the same time, my EDD is 6/6/06. I am still so cautious about this pregnancy and don't feel any signs or symptoms, it is making me a nervous wreck. Nobody that I told is allwoed to talk about it yet, I'm feel like if I keep it a secret that it will last, foolish I know. I would give anything to hear that heartbeat at 10 weeks. Lots of good wishes and hugs go your way......

[ajlanden]

Okay, so I'd be willing to take over as threadmistress...I am scared though because I've never done it before and also because I am technically not TTC yet...not until next cycle. Do I qualify? I might need some advice on how to do it too, but I'm a quick learner! :p

Rileymom-I totally agree with bumble. Great comments! What an awful thread!

[Jenzen01]

Those of you who have miscarried naturally, how long did you bleed?

I'm getting really tired of this. I'm on Day 4 with no end in sight. Day 7 if I count all the spotting.

[ajlanden]

I am probably not the one to ask. I had spotting through the entire thing. I starting bleeding last Saturday. Still bleeding...day 13. UGHHH!

[papergirl]

ajlanden if you want to be threadmaster i would me more the willing to set the thread up and then give you instructions on how to maintain it.

Jenzen01 i need to look at my chart to give you an exact number of days but i think it went something like this...

Spotted pink (5 days), went into period bleeding (1 day), passed clotts (baby?) over (2 days), kept bleeding heavy but not as bad (3 days) then went back to heavy bleeding (3-4 days) then off to period bleeding (2-3 days). The heavy bleeding lasted about 9 days with 5 days of spotting before it and about 4 days of period bleeding after it. So in all the significant bleeding was 12-14 days.

[Jenzen01]

Groan .... I just want to be done with this!

[LyLMyssChaos]

I think I bled a total of about 18 days from start to finish. Sorry I couldn't give you better news. I just felt like it would never stop.

[ajlanden]

Jen-I totally get it...the bleeding is like a constant reminder...I am jealous of DH because he doesn't have to think about it every second of the day. Hopefuly our bodies will return to normal VERY soon.

bumble-That would be awesome!!!! Do we have to email a mod to let them know?? I'm sure it won't be hard to maintain...setting up is that hard part. Thanks!!

[excitedbride]

I m/c naturally and bled for 15 days, and spotted for another 11. Had one day with nothing, then what I assume was AF start. Was much better after that.

[jay&erinn]

Well Ladies, I got a BFP this morning. I was told to call and speak with one of the nurses when that happened so they could order blood work and get an early ultrasound. I just called and the receptionist gave me an appt for Oct 25th. She wouldn't let me talk to a nurse and gave me the BS about nothing can prevent a m/c. Well no f@*k. If so, I wouldn't have had 2. I'm sitting here at work trying not to bawl (not going so well). I'm also scheduled with the same doc that was very uncaring after my 2nd one. The only reason she's available is because no one likes her- and of course, I'm stuck with her AGAIN. I hate this.

[jay&erinn]

I posted this in the pregnancy section too, but is there anything I can do???? I thought I remember people mentioning over the counter progesterone. Does it exsist, and would anyone recommend it since my doc's office is doing absolutely nothing?

[ajlanden]

jay&erin-Yay for the BFP!!! I am so sorry you have to go throught the trauma of the mean receptionist. If I were you I would call again and DEMAND to talk to a nurse...maybe don't even tell them who you are. If that doesn't work, how about another doctor? If that doesn't work...lie. I know that the first time I called and and said I was lightly spotting they gave me appointment in a week. When I called a few days later and said I was bleeding they told me to COME RIGHT IN. I know that lying is wrong, but in the case couldn't you stretch the truth "a little"? If it got you in sooner, it couldnt hurt.

BTW-Who does that receptionist think she is????? She should let you talk to someone with some medical knowledge before she tells you when you need to come in.

~hugs!~ and `Sticky Dust~

[papergirl]

jay+erin congratulations! i am so excited to hear that it's finally happening for so many of us in this thread. i hope you have 9 easy, healthy and uneventful months. yay!

for clarification, you aren't bleeding are you? please say no!

i know nothing about progesterin over the counter but i hope you find some information that is useful. until then, call the doctors office again (and again if need be) until you get the results you want.

YAY!!

[jay&erinn]

Thanks for your replies guys. I really appreciate it. I'm not spotting or anything. I just feel like a sitting duck- waiting for something to go wrong. One of the ladies I work with, her husband is an OB. I won't see her until Monday, so I think I'm going to try and wait out the weekend, talk to her Monday and see what she (and hopefully her husband) thinks. I wish he were my OB, but he's 45 minutes away. I like most of the docs in my practice, and I never got the run around from the receptionist like that before. It'll just make my weekend more stressful. Keep your fingers crossed for me. We'll be out of town, so hoepfully that'll make the weekend go quickly.

[ajlanden]

jay&erin-I am so excited for you, but I do understand your nerves! Monday seems do able... I just don't think the "medical profession" is as compassionate as they could be. I am sure everything will turn out great!!! :D

[ajlanden]

Question:
Now, I don't necessarily think we need to, but it seems to me this thread is (at least lately) turning into a lot of questions about m/c and support about the actual process instead of TTC. Since I am one those not actively TTC and more looking for support I am asking others...

Should we have a separate thread for m/c support and one for "TTC after loss" or does it even bother you TTC ladies that, at times, it seems we talk more about current m/c than TTC?

I don't have an answer...just wondering before we start a new thread.

[excitedbride]

Jay&Erinn CONGRATULATION'S! I am really sorry that your Dr.s office is being like that. I think you will be just fine if you get some over the counter progesterone. I won't hurt anything.

[shouldaeloped]

jay&erinn- congratulations! we were testing buddies too!

I totally understand what you are going through. both of my pregnancies have ended in m/c (one at 9 weeks and the other at 12) and my doctor isn't seeing me until oct. 25th. it's very scary and unsettling but I am not sure what to do about it. I am trying really hard to keep positive thoughts but it gets hard sometimes. . like with every cramp, every missing pg symptom. . .you name it.

so just know that there is someone out there going through exactly the same thing you are. . maybe there's strength in numbers. and if you find any over the counter progesterone. . let me know! can you have too much progesterone???

[purplesunshine7]

hello everyone I thought I would just check in . Iam on cd15. Congrats jay and erinn. I would definitly find a new doc but if you decide not to then when you do see the doc I would let them know just how the receptionist treated you.
AJLANDEN: I think it would be a great idea to start a new thread. Although I am ttc I still am depressed about my loss and ususally talk more about the loss instead of trying again, it's like I go back and forth. But I don't think I new thread would hurt anyone.

NEW News: DH and I are still trying I am a bit confused this month as I usually o on cd14. I know this because I always feel the pain of it. But so far I haven't felt the pain this month. It is usually regular so now I am stuck not knowing if it is past the point. This will drive me nuts for the rest of the month. Does anyone know how much stress has to do with not getting pg? I am seeing a therapist for what I thought was due to m/c and panic attacks. Panic attacks are gone but now she tells me we are working on stress management. oh! I didn't even know I was stressed. Plus she wants DH to come to next meeting. I am a bit afraid this next meeting is either going to pull us apart or brings us more together. Well no reason to worry about it now it is 2 weeks away. ok maybe I am a bit stressed now but I wasn't before she brought DH into it.

MORE NEW NEWS: My mom called today to tell me about a babyshower that I was invited to on sunday. Well I have to work so I am not going. I feel really bad for not going but I don't think it would do me any good any way. I wrote the girl a letter telling her I had to work, she doesn't know about my m/c or that I was ever pg. Well I guess that is all for now good luck to all of you baby dust and sticky dust to all.

[JAYLIN]

ERINN.....Yeah, I'm so happy for you! It's wonderful, the good luck is continuing around here.......I think what happened with the receptionist sucks!!! My office has a message thing...press 1 to make appt, press 2 to talk to a nurse....I guess yours isn't like that? You know what I did for my last preganacy that worked great.....I told them that I never got my AF back after having my DD so I had no idea when the 1stday of last AF was.....they got me in ASAP!!! You could always lie and say your cycles have been really messed up lately and it's been a long time since AF. A little lie can't hurt, right?

My doc said to call as soon as I get preg and she's going to put me on progesterone. She said even if I don't have low levels, it can't hurt...so I say go get some....can't hurt!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As for me, on CD 25, I tested this morning, BFN, I'm praying so hard that all the baby dust around here has rubbed off! I'm also going to try to be really good this month and only test 1x a day. I have 13 test right now and I really hope that'll be enough!!!

[papergirl]

Ladies, per LDS’s requests I have started a new thread for TTC after a loss. I made a change to the thread name since a lot of times ladies will m/c and look for support but they are not actively TTC. I thought the new thread should be relabled to suit both groups… those who have m/c and want support and those who have m/c and are ready to TTC. Also, I used m/c in the title since there is now a loss thread for those who have m/c later in their pregnancy or loss a child after birth. Let me know what you think because I can change the thread if anyone objects.

I am emailing CC to have this thread closed. If you can begin using the new thread that would be great. The new title is:

Support for ladies who have miscarried and those TTC after a miscarriage

ajlanden.. I have started the new thread and did all the necessary things to have it approved by CC. if you send me a PM I will provide you with the password to access the thread as threadmaster.

[Katy]

This thread has been closed at the group's request.