My Dog's Opinion on Things

[jh124]

Roxanne, my beloved companion of many years, was a very outspoken dog and had firm opinions on many issues. Sally, her auxiliary dog, is very sweet, affable, and easy to please. In February, we got a foster pup who we later adopted. We have discovered that Leo has firm ideas about things as well - particularly about how we will raise our baby.

Case in point:
I borrowed "So That's What They're For" from the library to read. But the puppy evidently decided that I should NOT breastfeed, since he promptly tore it up. Guess we are buying them the new and improved version...
The puppy decided that Hank should not go to daycare, as he tore up our question checklist and materials from Kindercare.
Leo is opposed to beach footwear of any kind, and will promptly kill every pair of flip flops he encounters.
I'm not sure what Leo's views on vaccinations are, but I'm sure we'll find out shortly.


What do your animals hold firm opinions of?

[Vegastrtle]

Murphy is quite disapointed that the everyone seems unaware that the world revolves around her...she makes a point to tell as many people as possible on a daily basis

[houseblend]

LOL...cute thread!

Our dog has opinions, too:
- When she was a puppy, she felt our house did not need walls and chewing them down would get them out of the way!
- That the king size bed is hers and that she is willing to share 1/3 of it for DH and I while she takes the other 2/3. Very generious pup, she is.
- She does not like vegetables and if placed in her food bowl, she will take them out, put them on the floor and continue to eat the good food in her bowl.

[trefoil]

Grace, pictured in my avatar, believes that water should always be trickling from faucets. Yes, she has a pet fountain, but tap water is still preferable.

She also believes that people or animals she doesn't know shouldn't visit the house. In particular, she strongly believed that the guy who did the drywall work in our basement was evil incarnate.

Lana, her sister, believes that no door should ever be closed.

[lml41981]

Maggie is of the opinion that:
- she is always starving
- someone is always out to get her
- plastic bags, umbrellas, ladders and broomstick type things are scary
- it is fun to run away and make me waddle after her
- the crate is the place to go for comfort

Gretchen believes:
- it is always snuggle time
- holding a sandwich instead of eating it means you're holding it out for her
- dog food isn't very good, but people food is!
- crate time is great time
- her herbal supplements are treats

[JillyBean]

Kiwi believes that:
- treats are the greatest thing in the world and anytime a cupboard is opened, that means it's treat time
- sitting in your lap is necessary at all times

[Scooter]

My puppy believes:

when someone on TV rings the doorbell, someone is coming to our house.
any paper scraps that she can reach are there for her to shred, whether it's a grocery list, an old receipt, or a paycheck. :rolleyes:
doors are scary evil things that might just start moving by themselves (they make her jump, she's so paranoid)
when toys roll underneath furniture, it's our job to drop what we're doing and come get them out. She makes sure to let us know by barking until we do something about it.
dogs on TV are about to come into the living room. In which case she's ready to play with them.
the proper way to greet guests is to bark, go up and lick them, suddenly start barking in their face, and then lick their nose.
the kitchen garden was planted for her personal snacking pleasure--especially the basil, parsley, and jalapeños. :eek:
if we use the ice maker to put ice in a glass, we've made a mistake because the ice is actually hers, and we are misusing the thing unless we give her a piece to chase around.

[kalogrias]

Our dog, when she was alive, had opinions on the following:

1. The blue easy chair was not meant for humans to sit in. Only dogs. Black dogs. That looked like her.

2. I did not need sneakers. They all went the way of the chew toy if I left them in her area (the kitchen).

3. The refridgerator was a place for doggy food, not human food, and there would be hell to pay if it was ever opened and she did not get a treat.

4. Lobsters were fun. She used to chase them around whenever my mom used to make them.

5. Mail was irrelevant. More chew toy material.

6. Boy dogs were fun to taunt. But really to stupid to realize that all she was doing was taunting, and that they were never going to get any (she used to sit inside the mud-room door, just behind the closed screen, and wiggle her rear end at the neighborhood. The male dogs went wild, and the only way to stop her was to close the door).

[katmg]

Our dog Beau, featured in my avatar, holds the following beliefs:

1. If you drop it, it's mine.
2. Any crumbs that drop are also mine.
3. If it's on the counter, it's mine.
4. If it's in your hand and you're not paying attention; it's mine.
5. Lawnmowers are monsters, and I'm not responsible for monsters - only kitty cats and squirrels.
6. Getting the paper in the morning is my job and I expect to be rewarded.
7. Morning is fun, play time - even if I wake up at 4 am.

[Cricket4]

Stella is of the opinion that:
*Anything that can run as fast as a squirrel can MUST be tasty, and she is really ready to sample one.
*Small dogs are actually sheep, and deserve to be herded.
*The bed is only a good place to sleep if no one else dares to get on it. If a human gets on it, it has been soiled and now she must huff and get off the bed.
*Other dogs enjoy having her bite their ears and ruff, and throwing them to the ground.
*Human legs taste REALLY good, particularly after they've just taken a bath OR gotten really sweaty.
*All toys are hers. Even yours. ESPECIALLY yours.
*If she can't have what she wants, a thirty second temper tantrum of running around in a small circle and grunting will earn her way.
*The bench at the top of the stairs was purchased specifically so she could look out the front upstairs window at strangers.
*Strangers are awesome, because they are fooled by her cute face and will rub her belly nonstop.

Bandit is of the opinion that:
*His sister Stella is a nut job.

[ysolde]

Nina believes that:

All visitors come to visit her. This includes random people in the hallway when I open the door to come in or leave. She just HAS to say, "Hello!"

Cat food is yummy, of course, but people food is even tastier. Especially if it is on a human's plate. And the human is eating it. And she can oh so surreptitiously sidle her way up to the plate and quietly stick her paw in and snitch some food while no one is looking. Because humans can't see her when she is being sneaky. And they DEFINITELY can't see her inconspicuous little paw on their plates. :rolleyes:

The more loudly and more insistently you purr, the better your human will serve you.

Books are fun. To eat. :mad:



Reilly believes that:

If she stalks them long enough, someday she will catch one of the birds that fly outside the window.

Hardwood floors are great for running and sliding. :p

Someday, she WILL figure out what the humans do when they sit on that funny chair in the bathroom; meanwhile, she will observe and take mental notes of everything. :o

Belly rubs are the reward for a nap well slept.

[karlatta]

Meg believes:
- The bed is made for her, and she just lets DH and I sleep there, as long as we don't get in her way.

Maverick believes:
- Anytime I'm sitting down, I must want to play fetch.
- Anytime I'm laying down, I must want to play fetch.
- Anytime I get in the shower, I must want to play fetch.

They both believe:
- Every plastic bag contains a treat for them. I can't open anything without them both hovering for a treat.
- When I turn the TV off, I must be going to bed. They both run upstairs to the bedroom. (Do we watch too much TV or what?)

[houseblend]

This thread has me in hysterics!!! I relate way too much to many of these!!! :D

[mb1197]

Leo is opposed to beach footwear of any kind, and will promptly kill every pair of flip flops he encounters.
Sasha has been with DH and I for 3 weeks and has boldly given us her opinion on flip flops. I've lost 3 pairs to her so far. One per week. :rolleyes:
She also believes that our cats are just more toys for her and that they should roll over and let her play with them on command.
She is most definitely of the opinion that the only way to get my attention is to bite my toes and howl at me.
Sasha believes all squirt guns are evil. I on the other hand find them very effective in getting her to do what I want her to do. ;)

[steviem]

My dog Smarty believes:

* Sponges are not meant to be kept in the kitchen sink. They must be taken to the living room floor and be chewed into a million little pieces.

*All bags from the grocery store contain food which belongs to him. He must inspect each and every bag by sticking his entire head in it as I am putting the groceries away.

*The phrase "Want to" or "Wanna" (for short) equal "it's time for a walk." You cannot utter these words because he will hear you, no matter where you are in the house. As soon has he hears these words the chaos begins (spinning in circles, jumping up and down, running over to get his leash, etc.)

My dog Sid believes:

*All attention in the house must be on him. This means, no hugs or kisses for DH, Smarty or the cats. If he sees you giving love to someone other than him, he will hunt you down and insist that you pay attention to him.

*Toys are meant to be pushed under the couch so that he can bark incessantly until DH or I stop what we are doing to get the toy for him.

*The cats are meant to be chased and licked all over.

My cat Biscuit believes:

*It is his job to help me take a bath. Once that water turns on, he runs to the bathroom and takes his spot on the side of the tub.

*Warm bath water tastes good :rolleyes:

*Flowers brought into the house belong to him. He must taste test each and every petal.

[fuzzy]

Daisy would like everyone to know that, contrary to popular belief, butts serve one and only one purpose: they are her personal nose warmer.

Daisy would further like the record to reflect that any material used for stuffing a toy, pillow or other plush item is suffocating and must be extracted from the item in question immediately.

Daisy is of the opinion that cats are toys and only toys.

She also thinks that, with the exception of her Daddy and Grandpaw, men suck.

:D

[Golightly]

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a178/jgolightly/Chewy.jpg

Chewy believes:

- It's time to go to bed when he says so... by standing right in front of the TV and whining.

- It's time to get up when he says so... by standing right next to my sleeping face and breathing doggy morning-breath on it.

- That the slobber-covered stuffed pheasant is equally as appealing to humans as is it to canines.

- That all our company is really coming to visit him and would like nothing more than to sit in our living room chair while he carefully presents the guest with every toy he has... by gingerly placing it in said guest's lap reverently and backing away before dashing off to find another one. (he's like a toddler saying "and this is my trout... and this is my bone... and this is my...")

- That black pants were invented for shedding white dog hair on, especially if the wearer of said pants is running late for a meeting.

- That humans appreciate nothing more than having their bare feet licked with noisy gusto... especially if they are the phone with a client. (yuck!)

- That he deserves to be included in all hugs... this is accomplished by sticking his nose in between us and wriggling until all 70+ lbs. of him are sandwiched between us. His eyes close and his head tilts back like he is totally blissed out.

- The above manuver works well when your humans are arguing too.

- That no one ever cries in his presence alone... nothing soaks up tears better than a fuzzy Husky face.

- That the "lower ear noogie" is by far the best non-food treat ever. period.

- And that going snowshoeing or backpacking is about the funnest thing to do ever. period.... Especially when unsuspecting day hikers think he's a wolf and freak out. (note to self: get Chewy a bell for our next trip)

- And last but certainly not least... he has permanent dibs on the back seat of the car... oh, and also on my favorite childhood stuffed bear if he needs a pillow. :rolleyes:


http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a178/jgolightly/Magalloway/44.jpg

[rochacha]

I borrowed "So That's What They're For" from the library to read. But the puppy evidently decided that I should NOT breastfeed, since he promptly tore it up. Guess we are buying them the new and improved version...

Ha!! My pup thought the same thing about Jenny McCarthy's Belly Laughs, I now own a half eaten copy from the library, while the library enjoys a new one.

[katmg]

- That the "lower ear noogie" is by far the best non-food treat ever. period.


Beau agrees. Nubby rubs are a close second. For some reason only his momma can give out good nubby rubs, which he lets me know by throwing his butt in my face. :rolleyes:

[wendalah]

My dog thinks the following:
1) Any food that is being consumed by anyone in the house should be shared with him and it is his unquestionable right to demand some of it.
2) If said food is not to his taste (fruit, lettuce, etc.), he reserves the right to demand a second bite of it just to make *sure* he doesn't like it.
3) Dog food somehow tastes much better when it's served bite by bite off a fork (we don't do this often...don't judge me! :D ).
4) After a bath, one must run wildly in figure 8s until dry.
5) The master bedroom's bed is a burial ground for bones and toys. The cleaner the sheets, the riper it is for "digging."
6) Boogers taste good. Can he please stick his tongue up your nostril?
7) Privacy in the bathroom is not allowed. Can he please come in and watch you do your business? No? Okay, he will scratch at the door relentlessly until you let him in.
8) Dirty underwear...MMMMM yummy!

[kam]

Ally's belief system:

* Anything dad drinks out of a bottle is good and is to be shared with her. Except beers that are light in color (Bud, Corona). Dark beers are acceptable and encouraged.
* Strangers at the door will most assuredly destroy our family and must be stopped in any way. Unless they're bigger than she is - then barking from a distance will do the trick.
* Children and babies are curious creatures.
* Cat food - good. Human food - good. Kibble - only if she has to.
* Other dogs are cool until her sister is around - then other dogs suck.

Piper:

* other dogs suck, except for her sister and other lucky few
* humans, dogs she likes and cats are made to rub her belly (dogs and cats tend to look at her weird)
* all food (human, dog, cat, even feline pine) is meant for her
* interrupt her sleep and suffer her wrath (we kind of feel bad that we laugh at what her wrath is, considering she's only 6 pounds)
* the garage door will kill her, along with the vacuum cleaner

[greenbunny]

My problems tend to be related to the clashing belief systems of my two cats:

Bella believes: the vacuum cleaner will kill you, but the broom is harmless
Summer believes: the broom will kill you, but the vacuum cleaner is harmless

Bella believes: toys are for cuddling and laying on
Summer believes: toys are for smacking out from under your sister's chin

Bella believes: food is for picking at delicately
Summer believes: food is for inhaling

Bella believes: the carpet is for laying on
Summer believes: the carpet is for pooping on

Bella believes: the bed is to be shared with mom and dad, but no other cats
Summer believes: the bed is to be shared with mom and dad, but no other cats

[Scooter]

That he deserves to be included in all hugs... this is accomplished by sticking his nose in between us and wriggling until all 70+ lbs. of him are sandwiched between us. His eyes close and his head tilts back like he is totally blissed outOur dog does that, too! Any time we're hugging she gets very agitated and starts jumping up at us, like we're leaving her out of something VERY important. I didn't know if other dogs did that or not!

[kanga1622]

Keegan (our 8 lb. miniature poodle) believes:

*The front window was put into the house specifically so I could watch our sidewalk and MY tree. Squirrels are not allowed on either.
*Since barking is not allowed, it is perfectly acceptable to sit down, look at mom, and do this high pitched howl/whine that will let everyone know that I am waiting for something to be done (go outside, unwind his tangled leash, play fetch, wake up, etc.).
*Breakfast cannot begin until sprinkles (Greenie Lil' Bits) have been added.
*Mom really likes it when I sleep on her after just getting out of the bath. She appreciates it when I make her all wet since she just made me all wet.
*Dad is only fun and worth hanging out with at night when I want to play fetch. The rest of the time he is just acceptable if Mom isn't there.
*Vacuum cleaners and lawn mower are evil and will hurt Mom and Dad. I cannot protect them until the evil things quit making noise and then I must scratch Mom and Dad until the evil leaves.
*Mom and Dad watch me go to the bathroom so I must watch them go to the bathroom. It is especially fun to watch the water go down the toilet as soon as they stand up.
*Ice and carrots are MY treats and it isn't fair if Mom and Dad eat any.
*Water in a glass always tastes better than the ice water in my bowl.

[TaterBaby]

Tater, our 9 month old, 70 lbs. lab, believes...

I should not be left in the fenced back yard by myself. If so, I will sit by the gate and wait for you to come let me out. If you want me to play in the yard, you must be inside the fence with me at all times.

I am too good to be left in the spacious two car garage with all my toys while you are at work. I should have free reign of the entire house while you are gone. I have attempted to prove my point by digging thru the wall, destroying the dry wall and insulation, and also by digging up concrete flooring.

I am a snob. I am better than the dogs next door that stay in the yard full-time. When they bark at me, I ignore them because I am a spoiled house dog and only in the yard momentarily to take care of business.

I will tear up any leash you make me wear.

If you are walking me on a leash that is not yet torn up, I will wrap myself around all trees, mailboxes, and street signs we encounter.

At 9:00p.m. you must turn off all lights in the den and move the pillows off the couch so that I can go to sleep.

Even though you are careful to keep all socks off the floor, I will still find one and run around with it in my mouth taunting you because I know I have something I'm not supposed to.

Whenever you turn the shower on, that is my cue to get in the bathtub.

[Witty Username]

Quincy believes -

1. If you rub yourself on the legs of guests and strangers, this will convince them you're an outside cat. Sometimes they're slow, so you may need to run back and forth from their leg to the door. If they're really slow, paw at the doorknob.

2. Dental hygiene is important therefore I need to chew on every drawstring, ribbon, and robe tie. If I can't find these I will take the used dental floss out of the bathroom trash and I will ingest it, later creating the longest dingleberry ever. Please note - I know where you keep wrapping paper and other seasonal items, thank you for the raffia and Easter basket grass.... oh and please... a rubbermaid container is hardly a challenge!

3. Speaking of challenges.... opposable thumb be damned! I have studied the locking mechanisms for every door in this house, I can get out but I'm too short. Please consider putting a table next to the door like we had in the old house, so I can complete my research.

4. Yes, the cableman loves me! Yes, the plumber loves me! I refuse to believe for one second that they are bothered by all 15 lbs. of me sashaying in front of them while they lie on the floor. The floor is mine...they came to me!

5. Quincy also believes that ceiling fans are evil and though never used, even the slightest movement could cause them to spin out of control and head straight for him. To avoid a perilous outcome, you need to be as low to the ground as possible and never take your eyes off the ceiling fan. It may be necessary to walk backwards and don't be embarrassed when you walk into the wall. The perimeter of the room is the safest place to be, that is until you can get to the basement.

6. Anything bad or stressful can be directly attributed to the 'ceiling fan'. Be sure to check on its status after being given medicine, getting your claws trimmed or being brushed.

7. Lotion is yummy, especially Origins and the night cream is my favorite. Would she put it on if she didn't want me to lick her?

8. Before you drink water you should put your paw in it, when you're finished turn around and flick your human in the shins.

9. You need to turn around three times before you can lay down. If you get distracted, start over.

10. Since he's been unable to convince anyone of his outside cat status, he'll settle for going for walks on a leash. He knows what the leash is for and where it's kept, don't make the mistake of opening the drawer unless you plan on taking him out.

Mattie on the other hand doesn't have many opinions or beliefs.

1. She believes she must get to the top or bottom of the steps before you. You should know this, it is not her fault if you forget and trip over her.

2. She believes in spending as little time as possible in the litterbox. Quincy can and will cover her mess for her.

3. She believes the best place for a hairball is a bed.