Remembering loved ones at your wedding

[MandyMaloo]

My FH and I have lost some really important people in the past few years, and it's very important to us to remember them at our special day.

We've seen some beautiful memorial candles, and liked the idea of reserving seats with their names and leaving roses, but since the church will be packed, I'm not sure this is a good idea. We're not trying to dwell on the sadness of losing those so close to us, but rather celebrate that they are here with us in spirit.

One of the people we lost was actually one of my bridesmaids. She is my MOH's little sister. I grew up with their family, and went to live with them when my parents divorced. They called me their other daughter, and I called them mom, dad, sister, brother. I thought about having my best friend carry a differant bouquet, but since I am having 2 MOH, I would not want the other one to feel any less special.

How did you remember the loved ones at your wedding? Did you share the names? Did you have a special candle light/flower ceremony? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!!

[Atlanta_eBride]

Here's what we are doing since we have twelve significant people (nearly every grandparent - including step ones -an aunt and a brother) we want to acknowledge. Our jrBMs will be carrying polander balls. Each of them will have six ivory roses that together will be our representation of those loved and lost. We will make a notation in our program.

[Sabriel]

We wanted to honor my grandmother and both of DHs grandfathers in our ceremony. Right before the mothers were seated, my brother carried 1 rose and my now BIL carried 2 roses up the isle. They placed the roses on seats that we reserved. If space is a problem, we also concidered placing them on the rail of the gazebo (it was an outdoor wedding). We made a note in the program with their names and said that we knew that they were here with us in spirit and that we love them very much. (Not those exact words, but you get the point.) :) I think that it was very well done, and we got many compliments on it.

Also, since my grandma died of breast cancer and one of DHs grandpas (the only one he ever knew) died of leukemia, we also donated money to the American Cancer Soceity in the names of all of our guests. We printed this on little cards and attached them to bundles of Hershey kisses for the favors.

[Kellijo14]

We honored three grandparents who have passed on with memorial candles. We had my best friend (the usher) light the candles before anything got started. We also made a notation in the program. Since we had the ceremony & reception in the same room, we left the candles to burn all night so it was as if they were there all night.

My grandmother told my dad that she really appreciated the remembrance of my grandfather and she thought we did a great job honoring him. My dad told her it was something that we needed to do - regardless of the fact that no one really wanted us to do it.

The only time I got teary-eyed about it was when we were making our programs. At that time we were the only two around working on them, so we got to spend some time reminiscing about our lost grandparents.

[MandyMaloo]

Thank you so much for your replies. All the ideas are beautiful, and I feel like you all understand what we're trying to do. Anyone have any pictures of memorial candles or the like? I found a place online that personalizes roses, so that is an option as well.

Thank you again for your responses, and I'm sorry for your losses.

[Kellijo14]

Here are our memorial candles. Nothing really special. We bought them at Walmart for less than $10. We had our unity candle on the other side.
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5d739b3127cce947288f8905500000015108AaOWjFq5bOR

[beckyann6879]

I'm goint to try to use white peonies in my bouquet (peonies were my mother's favorite flower.). Haven't decided how I'm going to incorporate my father yet... He died when I was young, so I don't know too much about him.

We'll probably put notes in the program also.

[Atlanta_eBride]

beckyann6879, I've seen this done for several brides that might fit for your situation. I'll try to find a better pick than this one - but you'll get the idea with this one. This bride attached a locket to their bouquet of her grandparents - you could do the same with your parents.

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5dc35b3127cce90156d84a0e900000076108AcNGbhw2ZNk

[Atlanta_eBride]

AH! Found one...

http://tinyurl.com/dmrjj

[j.d.l.102205]

We are having our pastor make a little comment like " j and d would like to take a few moment to remember those who could not be with them on this special day" and at that point and time we will go light a candle and place a flower on the table or in a bud vase, after that then we were gonna go back over to our kneeler and reflect just for a few moments. I will have something in the programs about it too so that everyone kind of knows what we'll be doing, we are also gonna list the names of those loved ones in the program.

[nic]

During our ceremony we had a moment of silence. The JP said something along these lines-Larry and Nicole would also like to remember those who could not be here today, especially my mother's name here and DH's father's name here[I].

[Doobiedoo56]

We did memorial candles at the beginning of the ceremony. We had 3 candles, one for each of my grandparents & one for DH's father. We had my mother & DH's mother light the candles. The Cantor did this at the start & just explained to the guests what we were doing & whom the candles were for.

[Soon 2B Mrs.M]

Honoring loved ones was really important to us. I lost my father when I was 15, and my husband lost his father a month before the wedding. We ended up hanging candles from our chuppah, one for each loved one. Sadly, we had 10 in total (both our fathers and all our grandparents). It was nice because they were hung in the back of the chuppah, so we had a full circle of loved ones around us: our bridal party to either side in front of us, our mothers inside the chuppah, and the candles rounding out the circle. It was also nice because during the ceremony, I was facing the candles.

I don't have pro pics yet, but here are some pics where you can kind of see the candles:
http://images.snapfish.com/344%3A597523232%7Ffp47%3Dot%3E2343%3D5%3B4%3D485%3 DXROQDF%3E2323%3A967276%3C3ot1lsi

http://images.snapfish.com/344%3A597523232%7Ffp54%3Dot%3E2343%3D5%3B4%3D485%3 DXROQDF%3E2323%3A87345656ot1lsi

http://images.snapfish.com/344%3A597523232%7Ffp47%3Dot%3E2343%3D5%3B4%3D485%3 DXROQDF%3E2323%3A96726772ot1lsi

We also explained the candles in our program in our rememberance section.

[beetee605]

We had a note in our program, and we also had two plants in front of the altar (camouflaging the steps up) that were later given to my mother-in-law in honor of her deceased parents. Now, she has them at her house.

[chortles]

Holy cow, that huppa is =amazing=!

[Rosebud]

I am carrying my late grandparents' rosary down the aisle, tucked into my bouquet. Also, at the cocktail hour we're displaying framed photos of our parents and grandparents on their wedding days. We only have one surviving grandparent, my grandmother, between the two of us. We really liked the idea of having their photos there and sharing the day with us.

Getting married in 2 weeks, so I'll hopefully have some photos for you soon.

I remember seeing a photo of Molly Shannon's wedding in InStyle or a similar magazine. She had small photos of deceased family members tied to ribbons and hanging from her bouquet. I thought that was really sweet.

[beckyann6879]

AH! Found one...

http://tinyurl.com/dmrjj

AWESOME idea... I have my mother's wedding band... I might tie the locket and her ring into my bouquet.

[MarriedaGoalie]

My grandmother had passed away 3 1/2 years before I got married and I really wanted to do something special. First of all, we ended up getting married on what would have been her 80th birthday. I put a "message to grandma" in my programs. Also, we put a picture of her next to our "unity sand". I thought these were both really subtle ways to include her....

http://images.snapfish.com/343%3B672%3B23232%7Ffp4%3Enu%3D3258%3E%3A87%3E645% 3EWSNRCG%3D3232988548%3B37nu0mrj