Children with Big Weight Problems

[Persian]

Hi!

I am a single mom with an 8 year old daughter who was just told 2 weeks ago that if we don't do something about her weight that we will be fighting Diabetes. I know that she is over weight and I have been concerned for sometime about it but, when we go to my parents house or sibblings houses they say that I am just worring about nothing. Well now it isn't nothing, it is a very big something. My daughter is 8 years old and weighs 126 pounds. She is the most active little girl. She loves to dance and spends most of her spare time dancing. Many of friends and co-workers can't seem to figure out how such an active girl could have a weight problem. She doesn't eat bad at home either. She loves salads and veggies. Don't get me wrong she loves all those kid foods to but she isn't a kid that eats alot of bad foods. She eats...oh can she eat but what am I to do. I can only get after her so much then it becaomes a fight and I am blammed for tring to starve her. I just wounder if there is someone out there that would have any idea's how to keep eating interesting but more healthy and how this single mom can keep from turning into the bad women everytime I say no.

Thanks

[gizzyntaz]

Have the doctors run any tests on her? If she is as active as you say she is, I would suspect that something else may be the cause for her weight. Kids need to eat, and if she's eating mostly healthy and exercising a lot, I think you should rule out other causes. If you think she's eating more than she needs you may need to limit what foods you have on hand. Food issues are so hard, but when we were thirsty my mom would offer water. If we wanted something else, she'd say, "well if you are really thirsty you will drink water." Same thing about snacks. If she's hungry between meals you could offer cut veggies and some fruits (they can be high calorie). Has your doctor suggested a dietician or nutritionist that you can go see? Maybe someone that specializes in children? They should be able to give you some suggestions.

Does your daughter eat for comfort or emotional reasons? You may want to explore counseling for her if that is the case...

Good luck to you, mama!

[Sarah]

A friend gave me the link to this site, it may be helpful. I think you should ask for a referral to a dietician or nutritionist to help your DD out. It's so hard to figure out this stuff without some support, IMO.
http://fcs.tamu.edu/health/Health_Education_Rural_Outreach/Health_Hints/2004/january/childhood_overweight_part_2.php

[magrat]

The best way is to be a good example yourself. Really examine what you're eating, check out fitday.com and start recording what you eat to see what it adds up to (don't make her aware that you're doing this, especially if you record what she eats - she's just a kid and shouldn't have to worry about it yet). It can be really eye opening how many calories you eat once you start writing it down. If you are overweight yourself, clear all the junk food out of the house and tell her that *you* can't have it in the house right now because *you'll* be tempted to eat it. Encourage her interest in activities and limit time spent in front of the TV. Don't nag her or even mention it very much though, just lead by example. Read Tales from the Scales - it's a great book written by female weightloss bloggers. A lot of them talk about their childhoods and how their parents' relationships with food and dieting led to their problems. Their comments could be really revealing about the sort of things your daughter might be thinking about. And be aware that unless you do *something* to help her, she could be on her way to being severely overweight as an adult. My husband could have be called chubby once he was about 3, and definitely overweight at 8. His parents tried to help, but not by being a good example, and it ended up with him rebelling (like all the women in Tales from the Scales) and sneaking food, and becoming extremely obese by HS. He's still struggling with it, and when I see his baby pictures I just want to cry because if only someone had done something then, maybe he wouldn't be suffering like he is now.

[Persian]

Thanx for the support, I will try what you have suggested and Keep in touch with our progress. We are waiting for an appointment with a Dietician. Once I think that happens I think things will get easier. I need idea's for the "Fun" foods. I don't want to make it so hard for her not to have those foods that are "Fun" because when it is salads and veggies that she takes to school the kids are so mean and bug her that she doesn't have those "fun" foods. And that hurts me because then she doesn't want to eat them. I know she has to cut down, because even though she eats veggies and salads her portion sizes do have to come down, she could eat more than me most times. I think that there is stuff bothering her and confort is found in food. Normally it is noticed that when she is bored then the fridge door open and closes alot. but we will beat this and we will both be happier in the end. Thanks again.

[magrat]

She's young enough that I don't think you should put her on a low fat diet or anything, but cut the highly processed food and cut overall calories.

Here are some ideas for easy healthier snacks (not healthiest, but better than chips and cookies! And hopefully satisfying so she won't feel she is being punished for her weight, or be teased about it)
Ritz whole wheat crackers or wheat thins with thin slices of reduced fat cheddar or thin circles of summer sausage
string cheese
dried fruit
trail mix (with no chocolate, or a very small amount of chocolate)
reduced sugar or no added sugar applesauce w/ cinnamon, or stir in a *little* brown sugar
cut up an apple into slices to make it easier to eat
a small handful of mixed nuts (her hand! And avoid peanuts)
baked tortilla chips with salsa from the produce dept (the kind in a plastic tub without additives - I love Jack's Special Salsa)

Other ideas
-If she wants chips in her bagged lunch, buy a big bag and put a small amount in a plastic baggie, cheaper and much fewer calories.
-Discourage her from "helping herself" to snacks. My mom would never have let me help myself to snacks at that age. I would ask for one and she would usually say yes unless it was getting close to dinner or bedtime.
-Make sure you eat dinner at the table as a family rather than in front of the TV. The talking means you eat less and you really think about what you're eating and recognize when you are fill.
-Studies are showing that people who eat artificial sweeteners are less satisfied and eat more, especially when they then eat something with real sugar. Plus it causes brain cancer and all sorts of nasty things. So I would avoid that.
-*One* cookie, *small* piece of cake or brownie, *one* scoop of ice cream
-My mom never let me have a whole can of pop - my parents saw it not as a calorie thing as much as a greedy thing. If I wanted some (which frankly wasn't often) I would have a juice glass size amount. I'd often split a can with my mom, or we'd have 2 cans among the three of us. Pop is liquid candy and should be treated that way rather than as a beverage.
-If portion sizes are a problem, don't put the food on the table, plate it up in the kitchen in appropriate portions. If she wants more that's fine, but it's easier to eat more if it's right in front of you.

I hope this gives you some ideas. I find it so sad that so many kids these days have weight problems. They shouldn't have to worry about it so young, and it can really screw up their health, self-esteem, and confidence down the road. Good luck!

[Persian]

Thank you sooooo much, You really don't know what it means to me, for some one to take the time and give me sooo many wonderful ideas. Some that I never even thought of thanks again.

[dzmattie]

My brother had the same issue when he was 8 years old - not that this is a "medical" opinion in the least - but once he hit 11 or 12 - he shot up in inches and his weight spread out. The same thing is happening to my young cousin who is 10. You seem to have a great attitude about it and are being very suportive of your daughter. She is a lucky little girl. The suggestions here are great!!!

One more thing - not that you want to put your daughter on Weight Watchers (my husband's mother made him go when he was 12 and it was terrible for his self esteem) but they do have fabulous ideas and meal suggestions. You might want to check out their web site for dinner ideas - one thing I did learn was to make up the dinner plates in the kitchen and serve them rather than serve "family style". Also - going "low carb" might help - focusing on whole grains etc. The dietician will be a huge help too!

Some things for "fun foods"
** Air popped popcorn or fat free microwave
** Laughing Cow - Light swiss - it is great spread on crackers or apples
** Low fat gram crackers w/ light cream cheese
** Fruit & veggies - we keep sandwhich baggies of grapes, carrots, etc in the fridge for "help yourself" snacks - you could also dip in low fat ranch
** Pretzels w/ light velvetta (small amount) - makes you feel sinful!!
** Pizza on multigrain dough - some of the markets are selling this now - it is much better for you than the white flour dough - we make a pizza out of it with crushed tomatoes (I love Redpack brand), fresh basil, and 2% mozz cheese, and mushrooms or any veggie - leftovers can be taken for lunch
** Meatballs - you can find some great turkey meatball recipes online (I will look for mine too) - using the crushed tomatoes they can be pretty healthy - I make a huge batch and freeze them for up to three months - I just pull out a few when we need them and microwave them - she could take this for lunch to school too on a low fat wrap!! Then she will be eating a sandwich like the other kids. (They will probably be jealous too!!)
** Another sandwhich idea is to buy the 98% fat free ham or turkey - low salt too - and instead of cheese use the laughing cow swiss or low fat garlic cheese spread - with these you don't even need mayo - put it on a low fat wrap or lavash bread. They are so good with fresh basil too - great flavor and super low fat. I use fresh herbs all the time for extra flavor.

Best of luck.

[kamileer]

Every person is SO SO different and I am not a doctor, but I did want to share my story. I weighed 130 pounds in the 6th grade. I was 11 years old. My parents tried everything with me. They would bribe me with non-candy gifts instead of a the traditional easter basket, my mom took me to Jr. weight watchers meetings (a terrible experience at such a vulnerable age...it felt like fat camp), I took dance and played soccer. I didn't eat ANY differently than my peers did. In fact, most of them were able to eat junk food and I wasn't allowed. My mom and dad weren't overweight either. I didn't have any medical problems such as diabetes. My parents were at their wits ends and my doctor told them that he had no reason to think I would stay overweight.

Sure enough, literally over one summer (just as I was going through puberty), I shot up a few inches and lost a ton of weight. Noone recongnized me at school the next year. I think I went from plus sized kids clothes to a size 2 in less than a year. For me it was just baby fat. In my whole adult life, I have been a size 4 and 125 lbs. Hormones are powerful things.

I know how difficult this must be for you since you feel like you have no control over the matter. I have been where your daughter is now and my heart goes out to you both.

[Cali_Katy]

I have no idea if this is the case with your DD or not, but I know that a lot of people consume way more calories than they realize through what they drink. It's not only soda, it's also juices and lemonade and things like that. It's kind of shocking when you add it all up, really.

[firefly]

my first thought was thyroid... but I think everyone should have their throid checked :o

[Quartercentury]

I have no idea if this is the case with your DD or not, but I know that a lot of people consume way more calories than they realize through what they drink. It's not only soda, it's also juices and lemonade and things like that. It's kind of shocking when you add it all up, really.
Just wanted to re-emphasize this, and the suggestion of using fitday.com.

For other reasons, I have been trying to keep better track of my calories, and have been using fitday. It's really a helpful resource and I have been shocked to discover the calorie content of some things.

[Persian]

Thank you all very much for the information you all have shared. I will try using some of all. It just makes me mad that I can go to a store pretty much buy out the store of the junk food and go home with a good chunk of my pay check left. But buy 3 or 4 different fruits and veggies and go home with nothing. I think that is where I have most of my conflict is the price of the good foods. I live in a small community and we have 2 grocery store but the prices are all the same. See everything cast more b/c that it is trucked here for 2 hours or more. And the price of Gas. Well need I say more. So it is really hard to buy all that good food when you are on a very fixed income. But I do because I want her healthy even if I have to take a loan out for some Apples.

Thanks again everyone you are great

[catmom]

The best way to save money on produce it to buy it in season. I stopped buying out of season fruits and veggies for the most part because they are too expensive and they aren't any good anyway. Usually the stuff that's on sale is the stuff that's in season and is the best quality.

[AndreaMMS]

First of all, GOOD FOR YOU for being a concerned and involved parent. Your child is lucky to have you!

You also may want to try introducing some vegetarian options - veggie burgers, veggie chicken nuggets, veggie (hot) dogs...they taste good, and are high in protien and low in fat.

[bethnjim]

Sure enough, literally over one summer (just as I was going through puberty), I shot up a few inches and lost a ton of weight. Noone recongnized me at school the next year. I think I went from plus sized kids clothes to a size 2 in less than a year. For me it was just baby fat.

Same thing happened to me...I literally grew HUGE boobs and really got curvy over one summer. When I came back, I had guys lined up out the wazoo asking me out and calling me. I just held a lot of baby fat and then all of the sudden it all shifted and landed in my boob area and my stomach got really flat and my hips spread...

Give her time...that is probably what is happening to her too. I think I got my period that summer too.

[curlywig]

I think you've gotten some excellent advice here. My only caution is to frame things in terms of eating more "healthfully" and not to make your daughter feel like she's dieting.

I wasn't a chubby girl, but I wasn't skinny either. One day, my cousin (who is about 10 years older) called me "chubby" and I was about 8-10 years old. For some reason, that really stuck with me, and not too long after that (once puberty really hit) I had some serious eating issues. Not anorexic, or at least not diagnosed, but I got VERY thin. Finally in college I realized I wasn't healthy, and things went back to normal.

Anyway, the moral of my story is that I'd just hate for your daughter to worry about things that she shouldn't at her young age. And, I'd hate for your plan to have her eat more healthfully to become solely about weight and for her to get caught in a dieting cycle that I hear is so prevalent with young girls. So, if it were me, I'd couch everything in terms of "we're going to start eating more healthfully" rather than "dieting."

Sleep deprived, and rambling. Sorry.

[amyhky]

Does she drink a lot of soda and juice? As a former teacher, I saw way too many kids drinking soda a lot at school and literally gained weight before my eyes. People don't realize all of the empty calories in both of these drinks (if someone needs Vitamin C, they should eat the whole fruit and not drink the juice b/c then they'll get the fiber, which is harder to digest and therefore isn't empty calories) and they can really add up. Too many kids these days (and I'm not saying yours) drink soda (or koolaid, sweet tea, etc.) like it's water, rather than have it just on special occasions. It's causing an epidemic in our country, that's why so many kids are developing Type II diabetes (which is supposed to be adult onset) and having obesity problems. I HATE that schools sell out to Pepsi and Coke contracts just for the extra income, at the expense of our kids' health (not to mention what it does to their teeth!).

I know it's more expensive to buy unprocessed foods but it's so worth it. The easiest thing I was taught was stick to the perimeters of a grocery store and you'll be buying fresh (the produce, dairy and meat are all on the "walls" of the grocery), it's all the boxed/processed crap that's in the aisles in between.

[Anna Low]

I am not a parent, but this story really struck a chord with me. As a child, I was overweight. Not obese, just portly. And tall. Taller than the other kids in school, including the boys. Needless to say, my gradeschool life was a living hell.

When I would visit my relatives, they would literally ply me with food until I was physically sick. They thought it was funny how much I could eat. One of my uncles called me a "linebacker". My mother tried desperately to put me on a diet, but she wasn't too successful. My father, on the other hand, would bring all sorts of crap home and would encourage me to eat it. And, when you are in abject misery at school, the only comfort you have is to come home to a handfull of candy bars. I knew I was fat. Not only could I see it in the mirror, I was reminded by my classmates every single day.

By high school, it seemed that everyone else had caught up to me height-wise. I lost weight during that time and perhaps the best part was that no one tormented me and I actually made friends.

My size has always been an issue with me. I do not consume anything (regularly) that will contribute to weight gain. Once in a while, I will indulge, but not very often. Growing up as a portly child left me with some definite scars.

Persian, I commend you for trying to help your child. My mother tried, but the worse I felt the less it helped. I don't know of any great tips or suggestions for you, other than those already offered. Removing any possible tempting items from the house is always good. Limiting portions is another. And, I agree with you that buying healthy food is much more costly than buying junk.

One question.....would it be possible that your entire family could start a physical activity program? Like walking or running together during the evening hours? That might eliminate boredom eating.

[dziner]

You have gotten some GREAT advice here. My DD is still just a toddler, but she is tiny for her age and so I am always trying to get higher-calorie foods into her...the opposite scenario...but I don't want to resort to junk food and unhealthy fats. So I am happy to share a few food ideas with you if you are looking for more.

People are right on about sodas and juice! Talk about unnecessary sugar, calories, and chemicals. Try a squeeze of lemon or lime in her water, or get some cheap club soda. I drink that a lot instead of sweetened drinks and my daughter already is crazy about "bubble water."

Someone mentioned wraps - we do this a lot. Turkey, lowfat cheese, or hummus...any of those rolled up with veggies is delicious and a fun sandwich with some fruit and lowfat yogurt.

Ground turkey goes on sale around here a lot and I always stick it in the freezer. Even if you don't buy the lowest fat kind, you can drain the fat out after cooking and make delicious chili, sloppy joes, meatballs, taco salad! Now there's a fun lunch with some baked tortilla chips!

Yes, produce can be pricey. Check out your weekly circular before shopping and think about what you can make with the items that are on sale that week.

I hope your meeting with the dietician goes well and that you can also get a physical done to make sure there isn't anything medical that needs attention. Your daughter has a big ally in you and that is the best thing you can do for her! Please keep us posted on her progress.

[Persian]

Thanks to everyone. For one our school doesn't sell the pop. They are trying to get the more healthy food around. So they are trying to help the kids. As a family my Daughter and I are the family and we are trying to walk every night but she doesn't get home until 4:30 and 5:00 it is dark. So we are limited for time after school. But we get out there and do something wheather it is in the garden or playing with the dog or just chasing and playing out side in the leaves. KNow we have to start cleaning the yard and decorating the yard for halloween. So there is something to do other than work. (or at least she doesn't think it is work) Ha! So I went shopping and got so many fun foods for her to eat. We were in the city. There is so much more to pick from. Thanks again

[Persian]

Well good news we have been doing the whole healthy eating and exercise. and she has lost 3 pounds in two weeks. Now maybe that is not much, but from a girl that has not lost weight in so long. i am so happy and I haven't made a big deal with my daughter but I said that it was good that she had lost this weight but that wasn't the most important. The important thing was that we have started eating healthy and excersicing and it was fun! Thanks to all I love that I know their are all of you to look to for advise.