View Full Version : Pregnancy and School/Work
08-19-2005, 03:25 PM
I was not sure where to post this. I guess that I'm just asking for a little advice/insight.
DH and I have been talking about TTC, but it just seems that there are so many factors that he wants to plan around. First off we have to wait for him to be off of his meds for 3 months, becuase the doctor basically said we'd have some serious problems if I got pregnant while he was one it. I have to make an appointment for my annual this month, so he wants me to ask them about planning, getting off BCP, etc.
But then we were talking about work and school (I start my master's this September). He was saying that I should probably plan to have a summer baby so that I wouldn't have to take off a semester. Part of this is that friends of ours are expecting in October, and she is on bed rest pretty much from now until birth because of high blood pressure (runs in her family). He is thinks this means that I won't be able to work or go to school for the last 2 months (I'm tying to tell him is varies from person to person).
I guess my questions are:
Did you go to school while you were pregnant? Was it difficult?
How long did you stay working? Right up to the birth or take time off before?
How normal is bed rest towards the end of pregnancy?
I'm sorry if this is running on. Its just that I'm the breadwinner in the household, so he is really worried about planning around all off this. Thank you if any one got through this and TIA!
08-19-2005, 03:53 PM
I'm going to grad school right now while pregnant, and will continue to do so through my 7th month of pg (that's only b/c a new quarter will start and I'd be giving birth in the middle of that quarter). I think my situation is much different from yours as I'm going to school full-time, so I don't have a paying job. DH is the breadwinner.
Just going to school has not been that difficult at all. It's been tough b/c I'd rather think about the baby than have to do school work, but that's it. :p Luckily, I haven't had any complications that require me to stay home in bed.
I will be taking off 2-3 quarters after the baby comes, and going back to school part-time after that. However, I will have completed most of my course work by the time the baby comes. The reason we decided to go ahead and TTC while I was in school is b/c we planned on me being a SAHM anyway. So I either finish my degree, then stay home; or I have the baby in the midst of getting my degree and finish by going to school at night. Either way, it would have taken the same amount of time to eventually get back into the workforce.
Now, if you are working and going to school, I think that would be so much more difficult to deal with during pregnancy - not to mention when you have a newborn! I'm sure there are some very efficient women that do it, but I don't think I could. Maybe you could see how your first semester of grad school goes before deciding on when to TTC?
08-19-2005, 04:31 PM
I'm not in school but I am working and was taking a course by correspondence when I got pregnant. It differs from woman to woman but I was just so sick and unhappy and exhausted all the time that the course got dropped and work hours got cut back by about half.
I think if you really want to start TTC you probably have to be ready to drop a LOT if the pregnancy is much harder than you thought. For some women it is a breeze but for others working or going to school while pregnant (at least in different phases of pregnancy - I feel a bit better now) will just not be possible.
It might be informative to see who women you're related to handled it? My mom and my cousin had brutal morning sickness (hospital visits, miscarriages due to weight loss, etc.). I'm not sure what role genetics plays but it might be a factor to consider...
08-19-2005, 04:36 PM
I'm due 4 weeks from today and I have been working the entire time. I plan to work until the baby arrives. I had very mild morning sickness so I was able to, but it could have been much more difficult.
08-20-2005, 12:27 AM
First off, I just wanted to say you never know how long getting pg will take. Getting my "sticky" pg took almost 2 years. I kept planning on getting pg and didn't do the things I really wanted in the meantime because I always planned on being pg.
I was in school while I was pg. I didn't work, so that made it easier. There were a few classes it was hard to stay awake for and finish up homework on, but it was doable.
I finished the fall semester in December and was due the end of March. This ended up being a good thing because I ended up on bedrest in February due to PIH (high bp.)
I went back to school in July when DS was 3 1/2 months old. I'm only going pt now, but depending on how things go I may also start working a couple of days a week.
08-20-2005, 09:14 AM
Thank you all for your responses, I'm actually making DH read them so he'll understand that every pregnancy is different. :)
jules1025 ~ Thank you. I guess part of my worry was that if I was pregnant during a semester whether I would be ok. I have apx. 2 years of 4 semesters a year of grad school. I'm doing a non-thesis, so it means no lab work (structural engineering) so I guess that is a good thing too.
I am starting this fall, so yes I'm going to see how that goes. I have 1 class twice a week in the mornings. Work is being generous is letting me work around it, but I was worried if I had too much piled on my plate. Thank you for your reply though, that really helps to know how it was being pregnant while in school!
postkalidurga ~ I've thought about the genetic portion. I asked my mom, she felt weird that I'm asking about planning a pregnancy. :rolleyes: She didn't have any complications, and neither did my grandmother, and both of them did yard work and housework until they delivered. High blood pressure runs on that side of the family, but I have great blood pressure, so the doc thinks that it might just be something with age.
Almost everyone in my family has had bad but not brutal morning sickness (one cousin even came out -1 lb by birth but the baby was healthy!). So I'm expecting a little of that. There have been no miscarriages, and no hospital visits on my mom's side. I have to check out my dad's side, just to see if anyone knows that.
Sandie78 ~ Thank you. Glad your pregnancy is going well. I hope that mine is like that. :)
Pookie ~ That's what I'm kind of worried about, that it will take awhile. DH is under the impression that its going to happen right away, since his best friend and his wife started trying and it happened much sooner than they wanted. I'm glad to hear that school was doable.
DH kind of is under the impression that I need to put everything on hold now until I get pregnant, and doesn't realize I cannot do that. I don't want to make grad school any longer than I have to. I get it free becuase he works at the Univ., but doesn't like his job, so we are trying to get my master's out of th way so that I'll be eligible for more promotions. I mean it has come up that we could wait until I'm done, but I don't think I want to wait that long.
Thank you for all of your responses. DH is the kind that wants all the facts before him, although I'm letting him see that pregnancies vary.
Did you go to school while you were pregnant? Was it difficult?
I had planned to become pregnant in the middle of my third year of med school so that my baby would be born early in my fourth year, and I'd continue on with my class to graduation and residency. It took us eight months to conceive, and I delayed starting residency by one year (highly unusual, but important to me to not be working 80 hours/week when DD was still a newborn, which is what would've happened had I not delayed).
How long did you stay working? Right up to the birth or take time off before?
I started a non-clinical rotation (instead of the one I would've preferred) at 32 weeks so that I could sit all day, and was stuck at home starting at 36 weeks, per dr's orders. But I'd had a complicated pregnancy.
How normal is bed rest towards the end of pregnancy?
The average, healthy woman doesn't go on bed rest at all, but the end of pregnancy is the most common time, if you're going to be on it. Unfortunately, there's no way to tell if you'll have an "average, healthy" pregnancy, even if you're average and healthy pre-pg. Odds are you will, of course, but it's just one of those things were you play the cards you're dealt.
I was on bedrest very early in pregnancy, week 6 until week 14. That, and the amount of time it took to conceive were the biggest curveballs we were thrown. You may end up with a summer baby, if that's what you try for, but it wouldn't hurt to talk about 'what if' the window to conceive a summer baby passes - will you stop trying? Or plan to take a semester off? Or continue on with school and find daycare?
FWIW my mom breezed through 3 pregnancies (though I was a 31 week preemie) and my sister had an easy time too.
08-21-2005, 07:56 AM
If you're getting school free, then just go for it! Even if you had to drop out due to a brutal pregnancy you won't have a huge financial investment in there. As for the time it takes to conceive, I was worried about the time it would take too (especially approaching 31). We decided we would start TTC in earnest in June but figured a few 'practice runs' wouldn't be a bad idea. We conceived in March.
We decided we would start TTC in earnest in June but figured a few 'practice runs' wouldn't be a bad idea. We conceived in March.
All these stories just go to show, while childrearing is IMHO one of the most important aspects of life, it's among it's least plannable. Not to say you shouldn't try, but there is only an illusion of control - you might get lucky and your plan works out, but you might not. :)
08-21-2005, 09:19 AM
I have to agree with the other posters. It took us a year to get pg. When we started out, we thought too about timing things, how would it fit best in our lives, etc. After a year of trying all that went out the window, we didn't care when it happened, only THAT it happened! I don't mean to say that you shouldn't think about those things, but many people cannot plan getting pg around a certain schedule. About your DH's bed rest concerns, you could be in an accident tomorrow and just as easily end up on bedrest for a broken leg or whatever and be in the same situation. If you are the breadwinner, you should look into short-term disability if you don't have it already, in case you do get pg and need bed rest, or even if you have some other kind of temporary disability and can't work. Maybe if you have that in place your DH will feel better about going for it. Also put together a budget and see how it would all work financially if you did have to go on bedrest.
I would also think that if you do put everything on hold, and it takes up to a year (which is normal), that could really add to your stress levels. You'll find a way to fit your new baby into your life after he/she's here, just think about it as starting to do that now. Good luck!
Bernie & Matt
08-21-2005, 12:44 PM
Being a teacher AND going to grad school at night, I was ALL about planning things. Ideally, we'd get pregnant in July and be due on April 15 so I could take the rest of the school year off. It happened....and a subsequent miscarriage. So we settled for Plan B, get pregnant and be due in May. It happened.....and a subsequent miscarriage. We finally realized that getting pregnant was not something you could schedule ;) We got pregnant again in October and gave birth in June. I taught and took a class in the fall and spring semester that year. I took the whole summer off from teaching and going to school, but start back up at both in the fall.
I'm currently pregnant with #2 and just started back at teaching for the year last week. My grad class starts up this week (I've got two classes to go, so I'm way motivated). My due date is at the end of March so I'll teach as long as I can. If I can work it with my professor, I'd love to be able to finish the last class as well.
Several factors have helped me along the way. First of all, I have to work for finances, but I also LOVE what I do. Second, DH is VERY supportive of me finishing my degree and moving up the promotional ladder. He's been very hands on with DS and knows that he's in charge when I'm gone or busy with school/work. Also, my first pregnancy was very easy (little to no m/s) and things are just lightening up with this one. It's actually improved since I got busier, probably more things to take my mind off being sick. Finally, all my co-workers and professors have been very supportive and understanding, although I don't make a practice of taking advantage of it.
Like has been pointed out so many times, every woman is different and every pregnancy is different, so it's really hard to predict what will happen exactly ahead of time. You can only gather as much information and stories as possible and go from there. Good luck! :D
08-21-2005, 12:55 PM
I never went on bedrest--I just delivered DD a month early.
I had a fairly uneventful pregnancy until about 5.5-6 months in. Then I started to swell and pretty much didn't stop. I gained 30 pounds in the last 11.5 weeks of my pregnancy (when in the prior 24 weeks, I had only gained 16). I was working my full time job (a desk job) and teaching two classes at night. I followed that schedule right up until the end, because I never developed high blood pressure, despite the swelling. I was really, really uncomfortable, though, because the water retention made if very difficult to stand for long periods of time.
Had I not delivered DD when I did, it is likely that I would have cut way back on my full time job and just tried to finish out the semester for my students.
As others have mentioned, it is really hard to know how anything is going to go. Pregnancy is a time that teaches you that you pretty much have to go with the flow--good practice for when that baby arrives, I think. ;)
08-22-2005, 06:14 AM
You all are freaking me out. I start school today. I'm only taking two classes, 1 hour, 4 days a week. I'm almost 28 weeks pg.(EDD Nov16th) I'm stopping work at the end of October and school ends middle of December.
I really had no idea this pgcy was going to stick and I wasn't going to put my life on hold any longer. But now I'm just hoping I won't have to go on bedrest or have any complications. :( We'll see if I make it through the semester.
08-22-2005, 07:45 AM
well, I'm only 10weeks pregnant, so i can't tell you if I've been on bedrest or not, but i can share my TTC story and school story.
DH and I TTC for two years, most of which we both worked good jobs with good benefits, where being pregnant/taking mat. leave would have worked out amazingly well. But...i didn't get pg. I wanted to go back to school, but we thought it would be best to work while pregnant, and then do school when baby was here and I was on mat leave. But pregnancies cannot be planned. I got tired of putting my life on hold waiting to be pregnant, so this past january, we decided I'd go back to school full time, and quit my job.
I had 4 semesters of classes left to graduate, so dh would be the breadwinner until I graduated summer 06. But then surprise! This summer I finally got pregnant! My EDD is mid-march of 2006, which is the last bit of the spring semester. This meant I have to do some juggling with courses, and delay graduation by a semester.
As it stands, I plan to do full-time this semester (sept-dec) and then take a few courses (maybe 2-3?) with no finals in the winter semester, so that I can hopefully finish the coursework before baby comes. I hope then to take 2-ish course in the summer semester when baby will be 2-5 months old. then back to full time in the fall semester. This is only a *plan*, because although I've had a wonderful pregnancy so far, every pregnancy is so different that anything can happen, but I have to have confidence that everything will go well. If it doesn't, then it doesn't, and we make plan B. :) When it's all said and done though, we are just so happy to be pregnant that we'd make it work someway!
08-22-2005, 10:15 AM
Thank you all for your replies! I showed DH some of these replies, and I think he is starting to grasp that we really cannot "plan" this. He told me that he wants to have a fmaily, but he doesn't like surprises. However, he said that he's starting to see that this maybe one thing that he will have to give up control on a little.
BTB ~ I'm sorry that you had a complicated pregnancy. I am completely with you on not working full time with a newborn. DH is alreayd psyched that he would be a stay at home dad. :) I couldn't agree with you more that this is the least planable of things. Dh is just more inclined to listen to my suggestions if I can "show him proof". I think he is worried that as soon as we try, we'll get prgnant, just because that happened to his best friend.
postkalidurga ~ Yeah, as much as I would love to have the family now, if I get my master's, I'd be making enough to let DH be a stay at home dad. Plus, he said that the amount that we are saving on my master's is better then him taking a better paying job right away.
shirsty ~ Thank you for the suggestion on short term disability. I'll have to look into that. I heard a secretary say she was going on that for this pregnancy, but I wasn't quite sure why. I'm all for throwing planning out the window, like I said before, unless DH sees it in writing that pregnancy is unpredictable, he'll never believe it. :)
Bernie & Matt ~ Thank you for sharing. I am glad that you have all that support. DH is the same way with me. I have mentioned multiple times that I would give up stuff so he could get a better job, but he turned around and said he could never make me give up what I love, and I love my job! :) Work has been very supportive of most of my dreams, and I have mentioned to my boss about starting a fmaily, and he never made mention of it affecting my promotions, etc.
Lolavix ~ Thank you! Oh I am all about going with the flow. I just have to line everything up for DH. ;)
beevo12 ~ I'm sorry, didn't want to freak anyone out. I just have a DH who doesn't like surprises. :)
red_canuck ~ Thank you for sharing. I know that we'll be happy no matter how it turns out. Like you see in multiple replies above, DH is a planner and doesn't like surprises. At this rate I'm going to tell him to get off the medicine today! ;)
08-22-2005, 11:06 AM
I am having the same issue. My husband and I have decided to start trying in August 2006, which means I would have the baby in May 2007. I have three more semesters at college...this fall, next spring then student teaching in the fall semester. I hope to get a teaching job or a temp job right after student teaching which means I will be pregnant during student teaching and January-May I will be actually teaching in a classroom HOPEFULLY!! I then plan to take the rest of the year off...until September and then go back to teaching.
Of course, I believe in the saying...we make plans and God laughs!!
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