Tacky or Not? Wishlist for Birthdays?

[lelee17]

So my son's 2nd Birthday is coming up in October and my friend suggested I do a Wishlist (like on Amazon) for him so that he doesn't get a whole bunch of gifts that are "non-exchange/returnable." For his 1st birthday he got tons of gifts (toys and clothes) most of which were pretty useful actually, but ofcourse he got a couple of "what were they thinking?" type gifts... haha! ;)

She did it for her daughter which I think is cool b/c it saves me from having the trouble of picking out a gift for her. But what do you all think? I don't want my guests thinking that we're picky or anything like that.

Do you think its tacky to create a wishlist for my son's birthday?

[adoredh]

Hmmm, I would say:

Tacky for Grandparents - they should be allowed the pleasure of buying what ever they want to :)

Not Tacky for friends with babies/small children who totally understand.

I would say make the wish list, and let those people who might appreciate it, know about it, and leave others, who might not be open to the idea, in the dark.

Best of both worlds :)

[tenofcups]

In my family, we always ask what to get the kids for Chanukah and birthdays and the parents will usually give us 3-4 different things that their kids want (and always in a VERY reasonable price range--sometimes we've had to go back and say "C'mon, what does he want that's more than $5?!") The kids in my family are lucky to have an extraordinary amount of toys and other things, and we all feel that there's simply no way to have any idea what they already have without checking first.

BUT, there's something kind of off-putting to me about being directed to an "official" list on a Web site. Too remiscent of registries, I think, and somehow that would come off as "demanding" even though they would convey the exact same information to me via email or phone.

[Sal03]

I don't think it is tacky at all. Grandparents and friends asked us what we wanted for DS for his 1st birthday. So while I would not push the wish list on people, if anyone asked, I would say that I made up a wish list that they could feel free to look at.

[lelee17]

adoredh - that Grandparents comment cracked me up! I totally agree. LOL! I agree too that we could probably tell our friends with kids who understand. Other ppl may not.

tenofcups - there's something kind of off-putting to me about being directed to an "official" list on a Web site. Thank you for pointing that out. I know exactly where you're coming from. I don't want it to come across that way at all. Hmm...lots to think about.

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I'm still thinking about it, so keep the suggestions coming ladies. I appreciate your honesty. :)

[lelee17]

I don't think it is tacky at all. Grandparents and friends asked us what we wanted for DS for his 1st birthday. So while I would not push the wish list on people, if anyone asked, I would say that I made up a wish list that they could feel free to look at.

Thanks Sal03! Great suggestion. Maybe create one, but don't push the wish list on them. I think I like that.

[lelee17]

Ok, I created to poll to make it easier.

Keep them coming, ladies. This is great feedback. :D

[camberne]

I tend to not buy from lists. I have a niece and nephew who would produce three page lists on Thanksgiving for what they wanted for Christmas. I have a friend whose neice/nephew not only give her a list, but a detailed (this brand, this color, this store) list. Not only do I think it's tacky, but I think it's teaching kids the wrong message about "gifts".

It's my thought that if you know someone well enough to give them a gift, you should know them well enough to figure out something that they'd like. And, honestly, how many things does a two year old really "WANT". My son (and all my friends' kids) had more fun with boxes than the toys that were in them anyway.

If someone asks for a suggestion, give them one or two... or a general direction to go in. Please no lists.

[lelee17]

Not only do I think it's tacky, but I think it's teaching kids the wrong message about "gifts".
camberne I never really thought of it that way...very good point! I definitely don't want to send my son the wrong message that he should EXPECT a certain type of gift. Very, very true about the kiddies being more interested in the "boxes"..haha! Hmm, that's some food for thought. Thank you for bringing that up.

[twinnyme]

Well, I keep an updated Wish List for myself (& now DD) on Amazon - but it's things that I want to buy her/me, and I have never told anyone about it. But most of my friends/family are web-savvy and some have found it and bought things off it, which I am grateful for.

[Koala_Gurl]

Hmmm, I would say:

Tacky for Grandparents - they should be allowed the pleasure of buying what ever they want to :)

Not Tacky for friends with babies/small children who totally understand.

I would say make the wish list, and let those people who might appreciate it, know about it, and leave others, who might not be open to the idea, in the dark.

Best of both worlds :)

Exactly!!

[mamax2]

I created a wish list of items for my DD's recent birthday. I would never presume to list this information in her birthday invitations or offer it up unsolicited to anyone though. In my family, we give gifts for birthdays and Christmas and when someone asks you what you want, telling them is considered helpful NOT tacky.

It was a good organizational tool for me and like other people mentioned, pretty much everyone in our family ASKED for birthday ideas anyway, so this was a good way to have everything in one handy spot. I actually printed the list off and gave my Mom a copy and that way if people asked her for ideas (which they did) she would know what to tell people. It was especially handy because it listed prices so she could, say, not tell my 85 y.o. grandmother to get something that would have been out of her budget.

And, honestly, how many things does a two year old really "WANT".
This is true, my DD didn't actually 'want' anything, but there are certain things I wanted for her. In other words, rather than end up with a million of the same thing or with a bunch of noisy, plastic-y obnoxious toys I can't stand, I could steer people towards things like puzzles, CDs, a basketball hoop, a step stool for her bathroom, etc. Once again though, my list was more about concepts for gifts - not an order form and some people were told the ideas verbally and others had the actual list (my Mom).

[DisneyGirl]

IMO I do not think its tacky at all. However I would not stick little inserts in the B-day invites. CHances are when people RSVP to the party they may ask what he wants/needs and you can lead them to the wish list.

Theres nothing more annoying is when I go to a party and ask the apretns what the child wants/needs and they give me a bif i don't know. I would rather spend my money on something usefull them something that will end up at the bottom of the toy box right from the get go.

My son'd 2nd b-day is coming up as well and the wishlist idea is soemthing I may look into doing.

[emermel]

I don't know if "tacky" is the right word. I completely agree with a previous poster that creating a list might teach the kiddies the wrong message about gifts (and might also make them less enthusiastic while opening their gifts). I think that if you wanted to create some sort of guideline list (EXAMPLE: DD wears a 2T and needs a new fall wardrobe, DD LOVES the Little People toys, PLEASE-no toys that require batteries/make noise...I've lost enough brain cells listening to the ones she has -oops-has this turned into a vent? :rolleyes: ) With the guidelines, it still allows your friends/family to get what they want for your child, allows your child to be surprised, and allows you to have a little control. Good luck!

[BTB]

I agree that guidelines without actually listing items is the way to go. Putting together a list of actual items makes it seem more like a transaction - ok, it's Christmas, you get x, y, and z off your list. With my niece, my sister kept a list of toys she already had - that was super helpful. She had so incredibly many and this way I knew I was getting her something novel.

[kimthebride]

My mom has had me make those Amazon wish lists up for me & DH's bdays and Xmas the last few years because it really helps her (we live in different states).

I don't find it tacky per se for your child's bday, but I wouldn't *advertise* it. If someone asks if there is something special DC would like, you can always say you made a Wish List of things he liked for his grandma to see...and leave it like that.

My plan for gifts we won't use/wear is to just donate it to charity. I'd rather send the gift to someone who needs it than go and try to exchange it for something else.